Have you been bamboozled when finding out your gut was wrong? Such as the times when you thought the worst, overreacted and it WASN’T true.
And have there been times when you ignored your gut, and been desecrated by a narcissist? That has happened to ALL of us!
Do you want to find a way out of all of your inner turmoil?!
In this Thriver TV episode, I’m going to give you the answers – a way to know what your intuition is really about, and how to use it to make decisions that will lead to your happy, safe and prosperous life.
How can you trust your gut and make the right decisions?
This is such a great question.
So many of us, having ignored our gut and kicked ourselves afterwards with ‘I knew that, but I didn’t listen.’
Or the opposite has happened. Our gut has gone off, firing warnings, and we have followed it only to find out we were wrong. We were triggered unnecessarily and emotionally overreacted.
How on earth do we know what to listen to?
How can we make the right decision based on our gut?
I’m going to give you the complete and easy answer today – I promise you.
Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.
Okay, let’s dive in.
This is Rule Number One.
If we are fearful, we will assume.
If we are lazy, we will assume.
If we have not yet fully learned to show up as the guardian of our soul, backing our own person, we will assume.
Let me explain…
Let’s say your gut fires off a warning, and you don’t listen to it.
This happens in our interactions with narcissists all the time. Something feels off, weird and unsavoury.
Yet we assume, ‘It’s okay. There is nothing to this and even if there is, I’m probably overreacting. Whatever it is, I’ll be able to deal with it anyway.’
WRONGtown – as we all painfully discovered.
It was horrifying for you, you were smashed and your worst niggly fears became fully blown, real life traumatisation.
Now let’s go to the other extreme… You are triggered into a panic, and you feel like you are being lied to or something is seriously not right.
You may fly into fully blown defences and reactions.
Then you discover your fears were unjustified. Nothing was wrong.
So HOW can you trust your gut and make the right decisions?
You may be thinking… Hang on, if I can’t trust my intuition what is the purpose of it?
I’m about to explain to you EXACTLY what the purpose is.
The Prompt to Be Your Authentic Self
Your most powerful way to trust your inner cues – is to SHOW up.
What does that mean?
It means use your inner gut feeling to GET real and authentic. It means ask the difficult questions, investigate and expand out into the world, as your values and truth, generating more of yourself.
Let’s talk about that icky feeling you feel when you are being lied to or something is off, or a person is abusive.
DON’T rationalise or justify the feelings away. Don’t assume.
Ask questions. Investigate. Google the person. Confront calmly and squarely. Ask for proof. Do it with decency and respect, but be determined to find out what you need to.
If this person is cheating or lying, either you are likely to find that out, or you will be met with all the defences that a dodgy person would use.
In my life moving forwards, after narcissistic abuse, I made a firm commitment to myself that I would never again ignore my inner cues and not get to the truth.
I have found that if I am honest, decent and show up, asking for explanations to trust this person, that honest people will supply what is necessary – which of course grants trust in the future.
I have found that dishonest people will either twist, turn and project or tell you more lies (and get easily found out).
It is easy to drop these people and walk away if you are willing to lose them rather than risk losing yourself again; if you are willing to stick to what your gut is telling you…
‘No proof NO truth’.
Which of course MUST mean ‘The DEAL is OFF’. (‘Off’ being the operative word. If it smells like crap, it usually is!)
If we stay connected after that – we TRULY are abusing ourselves.
Okay, so the second example…
You overreact and then discover that your gut was WRONG all along.
What was this about?
This is an unhealed inner wound being triggered off within you.
How do we know it is an unhealed wound?
Generally, this is because we feel powerless, helpless and hugely emotional. We can be panicked, needy, and even feel out of control.
But let’s just say that this trigger is REAL – a warning that someone is doing the wrong thing. You will STILL have NO power, if you go in and try to get the truth whilst you are in this state.
Whenever you are in the peptide chemical cocktail of a huge, unhealed inner wound, you have forfeited all calm and powerful sensibility, and simply CAN’T get to the truth.
In this state, we are wounded inner vulnerable children in adult bodies, who can and will only hand power away.
As I know I have mentioned to you many times before, the greatest barrier to your healing and getting your power and life back with narcissistic abuse, is emotional derailment – meaning unhealed wounds being triggered within.
Because in this state you will always co-generate with people more of the wound, rather than the solution to it.
And when this wound is in the second category (your gut was wrong), often you will co-generate more of the wound with OTHER people in your life – the people you love and want to generate healthy relationships with. Or you meet a new person who you get triggered by and overreact and may even push them away.
Either way, if this is something REAL or NOT, triggers feel terrible.
But to GET to the TRUTH and have positive unfoldment occur, you must have emotional sobriety and calm and inner solidness.
There is no other way to learn to trust yourself.
The Inner Healing to Be Able to Show Up
So now let’s just check in with where we are up to at this stage.
You have received the emotional trigger, which means ‘NOW I need to SHOW UP’ – meaning ‘I need to check in, confront, investigate, ask for and find out the truth – calmly, clearly and succinctly.’
If you can’t do this calmly, because you are emotionally derailed or are terrified about asserting yourself in this way, then there is a whole heap of stuff going on in your subconscious programs that needs to be addressed.
I promise you this – your problem is not about failing to be able to trust other people to look after you. Your real problem, which was my previous problem too, is that you don’t trust yourself enough to look after you.
This is one of the biggest truth-bombs I’m ever going to tell you.
So I’m going to repeat it again – your REAL problem is that you don’t trust yourself enough to look after you.
If you really get this, let me know by writing – ‘truth-bomb’ below in the comments.
You have to heal that up.
NARP (The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program) is an amazing way to do this, and it is the number-one secret weapon for all the people who are Thriving in this Community. If you know currently you are NOT able to show up calmly and clearly, I can’t suggest my free webinar enough for you to learn about what NARP will heal for you.
Now let’s check in again: you get the trigger, you need to show up, which you can now do because you are healed enough to do so honestly, directly and without fear. Now I’m going to share with you the next and final step.
Make Decisions Based About ‘Who You Are’
As a result of showing up fearlessly, you will receive feedback.
You will get information that will either confirm that your trigger was accurate or that your trigger was indeed a wound that you need to start taking full responsibility for and healing.
Either way, you are defining and redefining your life according to the truth of Who You Really Are.
So what is your truth?
You get to decide.
How do you decide?
As per your values.
Your values are what you choose to participate with and what you choose to stop participating with.
If your values are honesty, truth and kindness, you no longer participate with individuals who invalidate your feelings, lie to you, project blame or refuse to be real and honest with you.
If you have been self-partnering and working on your fears of showing up and being authentic, you will be anchored in inner solidness and will no longer need to hand your values away. No longer will you try to get crumbs of love, approval, security and survival.
You know that you are now the Creator of your truth, rather than a victim of your environment.
The Real Purpose of Your Intuition
Okay, so the sequence…
The gut signal goes off. You make sure you are anchored in your body and have released the trigger enough to be calm and fearless.
Then you show up honestly and determinedly, receive feedback, and then make your decisions based on your truth and values.
This is what ‘trusting your gut and making the right decision’ was always about REALLY.
Can you see the TRUE process was always about developing you to TRUST and BACK yourself?
I promise you that when I worked this out, all the PRESSURE was off trying to determine whether my intuition was right or wrong. Instead, I just got down to the real inner work – developing myself enough to SHOW UP authentically.
Can you see the EMPOWERING difference?
Okay, if you want to start getting aligned with these truths to boost and actualise your recovery beyond your wildest dreams, then I’d love to help you.
And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.
As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.
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