Melanie Tonia Evans

How To Defeat A Psychic Energy Vampire

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 31
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans


I know that psychic vampires can be terrifying. They are REALLY hard to PICK. And … if they get their hooks in … devastatingly DANGEROUS.

Are you sick of having this happen to you? Do you know how to get clean, clear and DEFEAT them?

Sadly, most people don’t know how to … and what they have been told, just doesn’t work!

This is why I created this TTV episode. To explain the TRUTH about HOW they get in, and what to do, so it NEVER happens to you again.



Video Transcript

Are you sick of having people in your life suck the life-force out of you?

Is this something that has been a struggle for you? It certainly was for me.

Do you want to keep struggling with this and the fear of energy vampires? Or do you want to find a way out of this nightmare?

I promise you there is a way to take your lifeforce back.

Keep watching…

Because I’m going to tell you what is REALLY going on when an energy vampire hooks in, and how you can shape up, get away, stay away and be impervious to them.

Okay, before we get started, thank you everyone who has subscribed to my channel and for supporting the Thriver Mission. And if you haven’t yet subscribed, I want to remind you to please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Now let’s get into it!


Stop Looking Out For Them

You may think I’m mad saying this…

But I promise you I’m not – even though once upon a time I would have thought so too.

Defence is Wrongtown with energy vampires. It actually makes you more susceptible to them and easier for them to infiltrate you and start feeding from your energy.

Offence is the BEST way to beat them.

I know you may have been learning everything you can about energy vampires to try to defeat them – but I’m going to tell you, in the nicest possible way I can – STOP. DOING. THAT.


Because when you do that, you leave your territory to go searching ‘out there’ for someone who could be your threat. Meanwhile, you have left yourself totally alone ‘in there’.

And it is ‘in there’ where you are susceptible to infiltration, damage and theft. There are not only ‘gaps’ – you are now completely unattended and exposed.

Imagine your house with broken doors and windows, and you start roaming the streets looking for people who may try to rob your home. Wouldn’t it be much better to fix your doors and windows?

Wouldn’t it be much better to be ‘in there’, doing the inner work to shore up your gaps and develop yourself to be impervious to energy vampires in the first place?

You bet it would!

In fact, it is the only way you will EVER be safe.

To neglect your own self-discovery, inner work and development – whilst you learn everything about psychic vampires to protect yourself – is a total waste of time.

Psychic vampires don’t put their hands up and announce their arrival – ‘Hello, I’m a psychic vampire about to desecrate your life!’

Rather, they scrutinise you to find out what gaps you have ‘in there’. They then infiltrate and act out what you want to see and hear, all the while taking full advantage of what they find.

And they do it with such masterful precision that you DON’T see the warning signs until it’s too late.

I know this may disturb you – but it shouldn’t. Not at ALL!

It should EMPOWER you.

So, now, let me explain how psychic narcissists DO infiltrate – and then how they simply can’t.


How a Psychic Vampire Gets Their Hooks In

I want to use this example…

Cindy meets Joel.

Joel is a psychic vampire on the hunt for a new target – someone who he can enmesh with; get narcissistic supply from; self-medicate with and suck dry.

Cindy doesn’t trust people, and because of this is on the lookout for narcissists.

Joel shows up being how he is with most people when he first meets them – charming.

He is skilled and knows exactly how to test out new sources – to see if they can be hooked.

Joel works out pretty quickly that Cindy is distrustful of men. He asks some empathetic questions about her life and feigns total consideration and care.

Because Cindy has felt so hurt in the past, and has never healed this hurt within herself, she wants someone in her life who is genuine, caring and real. With love so drastically MISSING in her life, Cindy is CRAVING it. Him ‘being gentle, caring and kind’ is as appealing to her as an oasis is to a parched woman in the desert.

So Cindy gravitates to Joel, opens up and tells him what has happened with men in the past.


Joel has all the information he needs. He expresses a story where ‘he went through the same’ and explains how he just can’t believe people would behave like that and how he would never do it himself.

The crazy thing is – Cindy thought she had learned everything she could about energy vampires. She believed she could pick a narcissist at 100 paces.

BUT the narcissist, Joel, picked her. Picked her off, actually. And so easily it was CRAZY!

HOW could he?

This is how…

Cindy was unhealed from her previous narcissistic experiences.

She had not gone ‘in there’ to do the work to be shored up and impervious.

Cindy was still carrying the following beliefs:

‘People who love me hurt me.’

‘I can’t trust the people I love.’

‘I’m not able to be safe with love partners.’

Now please understand, LOGIC has nothing to do with these inner unhealed traumas.

Get this … Before her date with Joel, Cindy was on the phone to her girlfriend, Katie, telling her how she knew she would never fall for a narcissist again; that she had watched every YouTube video on it, read every article and all the experts had told her what to look out for.

BUT … and it’s a huge BUT…

Her painful inner belief systems, that hadn’t yet been healed up, meant that she could ONLY connect with the LITERAL match to them.

It was inevitable. It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without.

I did it, you did it, we all did it. And many of us are massively intelligent, learned and researched.

So, it all gets back to ‘in there’.


There Are No Warning Signs!

Where were the red flags?

There WEREN’T any!

Of COURSE, Cindy doesn’t see the narcissistic warning signs such as:

  • An over inflated ego.
  • Making it all about himself.
  • Being triggered about ridiculous things that most people don’t get upset about.
  • Being controlling, exploitative, unreasonable, refusing to take responsibility for his behaviour, and so on and so forth.

Within two days Cindy, completely believing she had met her dream man, is in Joel’s bed.

Within two more weeks he has moved in. Just the way a narcissist likes it – quickly securing supply, as the payoff for their efforts.

And he had expertly manoeuvred all this so that it wasn’t even his idea. He crafted this by feigning being happy to wait for sex for as long as it took; he would give her time to trust him … blah, blah, blah.

Convinced he was decent, respectful and trustworthy, without EVER getting to know him or waiting to see WHO he REALLY was, Cindy flung open her door, bed, body and heart to him herself!

Of course, the results were terrible for Cindy. Within six months Cindy has Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), fibromyalgia and has lost half her savings to him.

A year later she was too sick to hold down her job and was fighting to save her home.

Why didn’t Cindy leave, before it got this bad, when his mask dropped and she had started to see BIG ‘warning signs’ – irrational selfishness, refusing to take responsibility and his horrible knee jerk reactions?

Because she had gaps that he had well and truly hooked into and exploited, which meant she kept clinging on trying to make him go back to ‘Beautiful Joel’.

After all he had become the saviour of her soul, which she was not to herself yet.

This is the most powerful ENERGY TIE we will ever have with an energy vampire. Not being whole and healed yet is the EXACT reason they can get in, remain in our life, dig in and suck.

Now let me show you what being impervious to a psychic vampire looks like.


How to Defeat a Psychic Vampire

Here is another example…

Joel, having discarded Cindy in the gutter and run off with all that she previously had, re-emerges and is on the sniff again.

He meets a woman at a café. Let’s just call her Jean.

Jean used to be a true food source to narcissists. Co-dependent, clingy, unhealed and carrying a ton of beliefs that made her a match for abusers. Beliefs like ‘I can’t survive without a man’, ‘Other people are much more powerful and know more than me’ and ‘If I don’t comply I’m going to get smashed’, as well as a bunch of others and with big, bad abandonment terrors thrown in.

In the past, as a result of nearly dying, she got to work on herself. BIG time. In fact, she worked diligently on herself every day for months, because there was NO way she was going to go through it again.

Okay, so here she is out at a café, innocently working on her laptop, when a charming, good looking man sits down next to her.

‘Hi’, he says.

She replies with, ‘How are you going?’

Joel flashes a killer smile and asks Jean what she is writing.

She tells him that she is writing stuff to help people recover from abusive relationships.

Joel asks her if this is about personal development.

Jean smiles back and says, ‘Yes’.

With some more chit chat, Joel asks Jean if she had herself been abused and this is why she does this work.

Jean says, ‘Yes’.

He says, ‘You poor thing that must have been horrible.’

Jean says, ‘It was amazing. I’m so happy it happened FOR me.  My life is so much better because of it.’

Joel looks at her like she has two heads.

He starts doing a double-take, trying to work out where her ‘gap’ is, so that he can appear to be ‘the saviour’ of an unhealed wound (insecurity) she may have.

It’s obvious he is rattled.

Jean, is now observing him thinking, ‘How hilarious, this guy is a narc.’

He can’t find her ‘gap’, so he starts telling her how he loves personal development.

Jean is having fun with him now, asking him questions about the teachers and books he professes to know, because it is plain to see he is full of BS.

Both Joel and Jean know he is sounding like an idiot.

He looks at his watch and tells Jean he is running late and leaves.

Jean is nearly crying with laughter on the inside.

The entire time during their exchange, she couldn’t have cared less if he was decent, a narcissist or an alien. She had simply been herself.

Okay, so maybe this is MY story … I promise you I have had that happen!


The Moral to This Story.

Please don’t think I am better than anyone else here, because I purportedly know how to pick an energy vampire.

I am not.

The only reason I’m not concerned, EVER, about people being narcissists or not, is because I know that NO energy vampire (False Self) can infiltrate, if I’m being my True Self.

What is a True Self?

Someone who is fully committed to releasing themselves from inner trauma to be Who They Really Are.

When you do this, you WILL be whole and full on the inside.

You won’t NEED anyone to ‘give you yourself’.

There will be ZERO compulsion to take emotional risks.

You will realise that when you are healed up on the inside and are no longer driven by your inner emotional wounds, akin to being a broken inner child seeking a parent to fix you, you make really healthy choices.

Including speaking up when something feels off, asking difficult questions and setting boundaries, if necessary.

You will firmly know that you are totally prepared to lose people in your life, rather than lose yourself again.

You may not pick a narcissist immediately, like I did in this example. But who cares! I don’t care whether a narcissist shows their true colours immediately or down the track.

And neither will you after doing the real inner work. Because if you are fully YOU, regardless of what other people are or aren’t doing, then how could you not be TRUE to you?

You will take your time to get to know people. You will ascertain people, before they get into your bed, heart and life. You will get to know their values, character and background before committing. You won’t do business deals with people, without making sure contracts are drawn up and signed.

Remember Joel with Cindy and how fast he moved on her and got in?

Narcissists need to do that – they don’t waste time with people they can’t hook. They need a food supply quickly. Think of a predator in the wild. They don’t tackle a robust bison; they take on a limping gazelle at the edge of a pack.

Clean up your limp.

Become a bison who is solid, emotionally self-sufficient, totally unafraid of anyone, and robust enough to show up truthfully.

If you have done the inner work, you will be in your body, totally connected to your inner cues and gut messages. These are prompts from your Higher Self and the Divine, who are partnering with you, always to grant you the truth.

But if you are researching around ‘out there’, doing everything that you can to learn about narcissists, and you haven’t even started to self-partner and come home to yourself, are you going to listen to ‘in there’?

Or, are you going to keep making excuses for other people, be ruled by your unhealed wounds, emotional emptiness and recklessness, and hand your power away?

Please know I’m not saying HOW it IS to shame you. Rather, I’m telling you this, as I needed to do with myself, to wake you up to the truth and to EMPOWER you.

Who do you want to be – a robust bison or an injured gazelle?

And are you willing to do whatever it takes to play your BEST Offence Game?

If so, put down your fruitless narcissistic research and instead fully dedicate yourself to healing yourself.

Robust bison or limping gazelle? Be honest, who are you right now and who do you want to become? Let me know in your comments below.

All right, let’s do some Bison Training to defeat energy vampires by clicking this link.

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always I am greatly looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.


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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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62 Thoughts on How To Defeat A Psychic Energy Vampire
    September 13, 2019

    Ah… this is a great video! And so true. Looking for the savior and clinging to the vampire even after one realizes who he is…. perfectly described.
    I have a question:
    Did you find it difficult to “hold your own energy” while around other people as you were healing yourself?

    Did you find yourself as an empath reading other peoples emotions and then twisting yourself to make THEM feel better while willingly sacrificing your own energy for that cause?
    I’m not just talking about love interests but friends, family members or the like who dominate a room with their energy… it’s hard for me to not fall back into the habit of subverting my own power in order to “make them feel better.” Then I end up exhausted and looking for the door.
    I’ve also noticed that narcissistic people tend to be healthy… live long w/o many ailments, yet empaths take on many an illness.
    How do you balance standing in your own power and still being empathetic to others????
    I imagine this is a boundaries issue. I still struggle with this.

      September 13, 2019

      Yes! This is so accurate. As an empath I’m having a hard time being true to my healing journey and also being open to others. I find myself wanting to help people feel better and at the same time totally shut myself off from other people because I don’t know what to do with the energy. Also- feeling bad about having to set up boundaries with certain folks. It’s a process I guess. I love this video because I finally feel like I’m coming out of the research stage and onto healing. So I am still a wounded gazelle but aware of it I suppose?

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        September 13, 2019

        Hi Rm,

        I hope my reply to DMJ helps you too.

        I promise you the answer is not complicated. It’s complicated when you don’t know how to find it or actualise it.

        If you haven’t heard about NARP , this is the process myself and so many others have used to heal in a direct, powerful, straight line.

        It is inner work, though – its the way out and through.

        If you want more details about ‘why’ this is needed, please come into my free webinar where it is all explained!

        Mel 🙏💕💛

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi DMJ,

      that is a great question …

      DMJ I was so focused on healing me, that it didn’t matter about being triggered.

      In fact, I wanted the triggers … to keep going inside and releasing my wounds.

      I did spend a lot of time alone, absolutely, to do the inner work. I had to.

      That was vital.

      Absolutely when I used to live life from the outside in, I was reading other’s energy all the time. After nearly dying through N-abuse, I knew that had to stop, and this was all about healing within me what I needed to, so that I could show up as the lovely, strong me as myself, no matter what anyone else was or wasn’t being or doing.

      DMJ you need to go inside to ‘the traumas in your body causing you to do that’ with NARP.

      That’s your only solution here. This should never be about ‘managing our traumas’, not when we have the way to live free of them!

      I think we have had this discussion before!

      Are you working with NARP and in te NARP forum – ?

      THAT is the fastest way through to your emancipation.

      Lots of love

      Mel 🙏💕💛

        September 13, 2019

        Yes, I have all the new modules downloaded to my ipod so I can go to a quiet, comfortable place to do them.
        I guess I just keep finding more issues to release, although the trend is overall much better. None of my interactions are devastating anymore, but there are times when I see I have fallen back into people pleasing.
        I think this one is about: Thinking I’m responsible for other peoples feelings, and thinking their feelings are more important than mine.
        That one goes back to childhood.
        I’ll work on that one again tonight.

        I can’t imagine NOT reading other people’s energy. Isn’t that just my level of insight? Or will I become blissfully oblivious at some point. 🙂
        But feeling responsible for their energy or fixing their energy is NOT my job… I think that’s what I need to move out of me.

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          September 13, 2019

          Hey DMJ,

          truly sweetheart, its about getting into the habit of more shifting, less thinking.

          I promise when you nail ‘the traumas causing you to try to read others’,(just set your intention that is what you are targeting with Module work and just follow the QFH process) then you won’t.

          Truly … and you will be free to be yourself!

          It is NO more complicated than that. Can you see what you are doing?

          Don’t try to ‘work it out’ just ‘release it out’!

          Mel 🙏💕💛

      September 14, 2019

      Hi DMJ 🙂 You said|: “to not fall back into the habit of subverting my own power in order to “make them feel better.” How do you balance standing in your own power and still being empathetic to others???? I imagine this is a boundaries issue. I still struggle with this.”

      I’m another “experiencer” of what you describe. I’m just learning about EMOTIONAL boundaries and find it difficult. Sometimes it’s easier to see a problem in someone else and then get triggered that there is the same one WITHIN. I’ve been working on this, and will share what worked:
      Emotional boundaries are felt in the body in the frontal area of the body (heart/belly areas).
      So, tuning in to the body’s feeling tells when “something’s off”. My problem is that I tolerate “crap” far too long. So, I began baby-steps (no more “biting off more than I can chew” LOL) in “preserving” my own emotional space. (Limiting conversations and INFORMATION, grey-rocking, keeping busy, working on my own energy). I, like Melanie (isn’t she wonderful!) see things as “energy”. My breakthroughs happened quickly — and in small steps. If I am standing in my own power of empathy, it’s possible to just offer a verbal expression of caring. So, I can still care ABOUT someone (concern, not worry)….and express that, but still not “buy into” what they’re up to. (Induced conversations, prying, gossip, name-calling and general meaness/ rudeness). I don’t need THEM to “fess up” anymore. I leave it all with them. When the verbal crap comes, I say to myself: “That belongs to THEM not me, thank God”.
      Would like to hear your thoughts.

        September 14, 2019

        Hi, Deborah
        I suppose for me that some of the “reading of other people” is based in long-held/generational trauma of survival… or it may be from my father’s training of us to be hypervigilant. I mean, there have been times I’ve been at the grocery store and someone is acting strange and I notice immediately… like the odd fellow following people around with nothing in his basket. Most people don’t notice these things and I think there are times when noticing has kept me safe, but I also notice all sorts of things others don’t notice that have nothing to do with security…. Like really subtle things in nature that are beautiful. I consider this one of my gifts. I don’t have to try to figure out if someone is suffering, or angry, or feeling left out…. it’s just obvious to me. As a kid I used to think that everyone saw what I saw and it made me feel very exposed. Now I realize most people don’t notice these things… they are in their own stuff and not seeing me at all. How does that phrase go… “you wouldn’t worry what others thought of you if you knew how seldom they did.” LOL.
        I think you are correct in that I need to distance myself from other people’s “stuff” so I’m not energetically absorbing all their gunk and getting sick. I even did this with my pets. I could always tell when my cat wasn’t quite right or feeling off. It’s not always about energy vampires for me… it could be the bunny in the yard. LOL. I think it’s a GOOD human trait to notice when others are suffering and try to help, but it’s detrimental to my health to “take on” their suffering. I think that’s the part I need to release to God. To trust that he’s got it, and if I (as you say) just offer some expression of caring but don’t become so fully invested, I wouldn’t feel drained. Some people are great at jumping on a mission of help and don’t lose energy doing it. Like these folks that load up supplies and fly into hurricane ravaged areas to help survivors. God bless them.

      Sharon Hoffer
      September 14, 2019

      What a great article, and exactly what I needed to hear today! Yes, I want to be a robust bison ☺️☺️☺️ And at the moment I’m definitely a limping gazelle, with my ex narc off in the distance, shadowing me, waiting for me to trip, so he can come and get me and feed off my sorry old carcass 😂😂😂

    September 13, 2019

    Thriving scale:
    three legged hobble
    walking like a dude
    skip to my loo
    four on the floor

    Some days I feeling like I’m skipping along, but then I have days today where I’m a “walking like a dude” bison. :0)

    Thanks, Mel. I always look forward to your episodes. This one was especially timely. I had just finished Module 2 when you “chimed” with your support. :0)


      September 13, 2019

      Thank you Melanie for helping me understand the ways of a Narcissist, I have been in numerous failed relationships and a abused physically as well in the past . This time I’m in a relationship for the past 21 years now on and off , more on than off and I am trying to disconnect completely. The past 3 years I have discovered he was finding young women which were well endowed and naked on the internet, after being caught he swore he would never do it again, but his underwear tell a different story! I’m st my wits end , I can’t trust him any longer and just want him out of my life! Can you help me stay strong and see my way out?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi Nicole,

      LOVE IT!

      Keep NARPing sweetheart!

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 13, 2019

    Dear Melanie,

    You did it again!

    Succinct and and spot on. Totally inspired.

    So important to put our happiness FIRST.

    Seeking FIRST that kingdom of peace and joy within (by keeping ourselves pure and uncontaminated with deception of any kind), our inner peace and power and joy fills every place we stand. Junk doesn’t get near us.

    We don’t have to work to push out Darkness, fix darkness, plead with or negotiate with darkness… We just STAY LIT UP AND ON FIRE 🔥 WITH LIFE.

    Our house is perfectly secure safe and cozy. Living UNAFRAID and Uninterested in narcissists.

    Celebrating life.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi Iris,

      thank you hun!

      I really loved doing this episode!

      It’s very close to my heart after NOT living free and being paralysed with fear previously!

      How DIVINE it is to be FREE and FEARLESS, and be LIT up as ourselves!

      Big love to you as always!

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    Sandy S
    September 13, 2019

    Hi Melanie

    This is amazing. I have signed up to your course. My counsellor is supporting me in doing this. She urged me to return to study following a divorce and co-parenting with a narc /+ and meanwhile I came upon this one weekend ago whilst visiting family. 🙂
    I shut down a narc today following another stressful episode where he attempted to make contact, harrass, call and pretend he wanted a coffee, see how things are for me, blah blah.. It seems he even set up a series of events so I may need his shoulder to cry on. I met him just how your story above says and not healed from the ex-hub fell into his arms and charms too soon!
    Not this time!! Or ever again.
    🙏 I’m looking forward to learning, growing, becoming me & whole, and healed for my child – she’s heavily influenced by the narc and told me she hated me last night at bedtime after recieving a phone call from him

    Ps. The “house” analogy is timely and so pertinent for me. These creatures prey on every vulnerability and our children also.. 💛💙

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi Sandy,

      I love it when counsellors accept and get deep inner subconscious healing work!

      Great you are understanding how our vulnerabilities make us susceptible!

      I love that you are ready to heal and do the inner work.

      Many blessings and breakthroughs to you

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 13, 2019

    Excellent video with excellent clear examples!
    Thank you for your great work, I am sure you are helping thousands of people!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Thank you Gigi’

      I’m so pleased this made sense!

      Bless 😀

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 13, 2019

    Excellent contribution with excellent clear examples!
    Thank you for your great work, I am sure you are helping thousands of people!

    September 13, 2019

    I am definitely ready to heal, but I honestly am struggling with loving myself. It is the ONLY way to go I know! but I do find it a daily battle to turn negative thought processes into positive affirmations. This sounds ridiculous but I’m almost scared to change into someone I don’t recognise… although I feel I have become a shell of the person I once was. I must be brave to be me and forgive and be kind to myself.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi Buttercup,

      I really want you to know sweetheart that ‘loving ourselves’ is not something we can learn to do.

      It is just who we organically ARE without our internal emotional trauma.

      This is something you cant logically understand until you start releasing trauna and just naturally come home to your true, natural essense.

      Please come with me into my free webinar to experience this for yourself

      This way the struggle ends.

      Lots of love to you.

      Mel 🙏💕💛

      September 13, 2019

      Dear Melanie,

      thank you for all your information and help.
      I don’t have contact anymore.
      Changed my phonenumber.
      Still I feel his energy and anxiety in my solar plexus!? What can I do about this? Thank you, bless you. x

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        September 14, 2019

        Hi Kate,

        You are very welcome and that’s great you are No Contact.

        Breaking the psychic ties is part of the NARP detox process.

        Specifically Modules 2 and 9.

        I hope this helps

        Mel 🙏💕💛

          September 25, 2019

          hi Melanie, thank you voor your reply. It is not possible for me to order/buy the recovery kit for several reasons. I tried to cut the invisible ties, with him imagine me in a white light etcetera also with a therapist/medium. I have no contact, but feel him every day. He is still using my energy. I hope one day you will make a video on this topic. Best regards!

    September 13, 2019

    Thank you Melanie for everything you’re doing. You have been one of my angels that saved my life. I discovered you 2 yrs. ago when my 6 yr. relationship ended with a narcissist. Only I had no idea what a narcissist was. This monster verbally, emotionally, psychologically abused me, took me for all I was worth, and utterly humiliated me. As a result I have cptsd, agoraphobia, & autoimmune issues.
    Over the last 2 yrs. I came upon your website talking about narc abuse and I couldn’t believe it. It’s been my entire life that I’ve been exposed to this insidious abuse. Not to mention as I dug deeper I made the realization that my father is a narc & my poor mom has been his enabler (she herself is a shell of a person due my father verbally abusing her & she is so codependent on him that she’s just gone as herself as an individual-utterly heartbreaking) & my siblings are his puppets.
    It’s been an incredible journey of healing my inner wounds that run deep & reparenting myself. I have gone minimal contact with my family b/c I can see clear as day now how toxic, unhealthy, & unsafe it is for me to be around them as I’m working through healing my inner wounds.
    Sadly my dad is on the warpath turning everyone against me & smear campaigns; but I remind myself that he’s playing the victim to the circumstances he created, I need to stay above this, b/c sooner or later his true colors will be revealed and I’ll be able to share my story with my siblings and hopefully help them. But for now sadly they are all brainwashed by him, it breaks my heart but I now know my truth.
    And thanks to you I’ve made huge strides in my recovery and this video was just another positive step into my healing.
    I am forever grateful to you.
    Thank you for your work & this community. Wishing everyone strong bison vibes-we will thrive and become narc free & empowered!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi Virginia,

      I am so pleased I have been able to help Dear Lady and that you are healing.

      Perfect that you are detaching, not hooking in and looking after you at this time. That is crucial!

      Are you working with QFH to completely release these trauma symptoms? It is such a powerful solution. I recommend NARP as a fastrack to your healing, if you aren’t already NARPing!

      Thank you for your love and encouragement to all.

      Love and power to you.

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 13, 2019

    Thank you your descriptions they have helped me to reach back to who I am.
    I have a job repairing a ruined mural for a friend who is part of a group Running a homeless shelter. It has a large mural on one outside wall which has been sliced and diced by various graphic scribbles.

    I have been a painter for much of my life. With very long pause due to life changes lack hope and a grinding fear that has been part of my life thanks to my by vampire ladden world. Their efforts to drain me I now see have instead bought me clarity.
    I have put away painting until today. Today I started the repair. It will take a couple of days to do finish the work.
    My heart danced. At a meeting later in the day
    blurted our that I
    finally feel pulled together whole and completely present.

    I said to illustrate many times this picture often
    when I arrive at meetings I feel as though there are six of me following behind in a blurr.

    But not today.

    This reaching deep has given me the sense of know who I am with wholeness and balance.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi DAnna,

      How beautiful you felt this today.

      I’m so happy for you!

      Lots of love

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    lori pascoe
    September 13, 2019

    You were a blessing when I was suffering. I somehow stumbled on you as I stumbled on what I was going through during the fog. I get it now thanks to you and your honest insight. Thank you for being a catalyst to all of us souls that do/did not know what was happening and what was next!

    I am coming up for air now….and because of your videos I have learned so much about my self and what has happened in my (human) life. I can see that although, certainly still quite the injured gizelle, my progress towards bisonhood 😉 is in sight.

    Melanie, you are from my observation, honoring your calling and we all thank you and bless you for wisdom and voice. I am so proud of you for supporting His presence in our world on earth. x

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi Lori,

      Thank you for your lovely words and im so happy for you that you are breaking out the other side.

      Many blessings to you Dear Lady.

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 13, 2019

    I love you! Your the real deal as a healer! I’ve been reading your emails an articles and you are so on point in every area! I’m a former gazelle now a Bison! Lol, I’m also a evidential medium and reiki practitioner. I’ve just started communicating with my guides again, I’ve been healing myself for several years and ready to stand tall and be true to myself! My soul was so broken! And it’s so interesting I was with no man for 7 years to heal, and here ai am ,
    Married to a narcissist, proposed to me a month after I met him, I having been living a Cinderella life, but funny thing is, I’m now Cinderella mopping floors, I also was riddled with fibromyalgia for years and could barley walk, now I’m doing things zi thought were not possible, so that’s a positive! But, it’s made me stronger! I’m now 9 months into this marriage seeing things so clearly! I wear spray to get rid of negative energy, I sage him and house and me all the time! He didn’t know I was a physic, medium and angle reading light worker! He can’t believe it when I call him out on his lies, and when zi know he’s cheating! I actually started going to a medium and physic group just to validate I am the real deal and not a crazy person! I’m now taking back my personal self and power! I’m so done with his control, his, mind games! I see him as a selfish child man boy! I have empathy for him! But I know I can’t heal or fix him! He’s broken! It makes me sad! But, I can no longer be sucked dry! I have work to do to help others! I love bringing joy and happiness to others, Ive lost this since a I’ve been with him! My soul and purpose is to bring joy and happiness and messages! I can’t wait for abundance and my own money flowing I can leave! No one will ever own my soul! I want to thank you for your email drip, I realized and learned so much in past month on narcissism, I didn’t need to search on other articles ectopic, because zi knew you were speaking from your heart and a survivor and an amazing healer! I truly hope people read this! Because for those who have not healed inside, they are going to keep this cycle going especially the younger women! I encourage everyone to learn from this lady! I’m seriously a person who stumbled upon her like you! Zi don’t know her! But she can help you!
    Let’s all say this! No to no more energy vampires and no more of saying yes to the narcissistic jerks who want us to be puppets! In a meditation I was doing Helen of Troy named came! I had no clue who she was! Turns out she was goddess and known as a puppet! It was a wow moment! She looked like me and my husband in one picture and zi said ok, Im not here, I took my power that day! Google her! I bet you can relate to her story! But make sure you follow up with Melanie because she can help you set your soul free! I really feel this a, have a blessed life to all!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi Iris,

      It’s so lovely that you found your way here to this community.

      I’m so pleased you are seeing the truth and feeling your relief and power.

      Much love to you

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 13, 2019

    Wow, thanks for this video Mel, that is exactly what happened when I met my covert narcissist last year. He knew exactly how to act around me to make me fall for him. Thankfully, I left him after 9 months because I knew something wasn’t right and I would be diminished if I stayed with him. But it was the most difficult thing I ever did and that was after only 9 months!!!! And then I found you cuz I didn’t even know what the problem was and was so surprised when I found out that he was a covert narcissist! I purchased your program and it’s helped me immensely over the past seven months. I even ended a couple of friendships cuz I realized they were narcissists.

    The issue I’m having now though is I’m on a dating website and every man I have met has not wanted for us to take the time to get to know each other. They immediately want to get serious and not go slowly. They just go from one woman to another and break up after 2 months and then go on to the next one. I don’t think they’re all narcissists (although I have definitely met some of those), I just think they’re lonely and this is their MO. I don’t live in a largely populated area so I don’t have a ton of men to choose from and I’m being super picky anyways so I really reduce the chances of finding someone “good.” Maybe I’m being too picky now? you said that a good man will wait and take the time but I haven’t found that so far. Anyway, I just wanted to get your thoughts on this as maybe other NARPers emailed you with the same issue.

    Thanks for all you do! I couldn’t have gotten this far without you. I only wish I would have known about this many years ago.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 13, 2019

      Hi Jules,

      I’m so pleased NARP has helped you this much do far.

      Hun I would target that trauma of that experience within your body and then load it up and shift it out

      With all your experiences that you dont wish to have, when they turn up and you are no longer triggered in the slightest, it means that this is ‘not your reality’ and then it can and will leave your experience, because you have reached that graduation.

      Also please come into the NARP forum where we can help guide you and help you through this.

      Much love to you

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 13, 2019

    Oh yes!! Totally this – all of it! I started my journey without even knowing that’s what I was doing (anxiety meds actually helped me start getting back in tune with myself, which allowed me to find my true self). Also, I had the benefit of working away from home and spending time with people who reaffirmed me rather than just the narc focus of my spouse. As I gained strength within my true self, he started to see glimmers and knew I liked the me from work better so he said he wanted me to be like that more at home. That ended up working against him because he didn’t like the stronger truer me because he no longer had the hold he’d previously had and I had less and less patience for the BS. Long story short… I moved out and just recently got divorced. And I couldn’t be happier! My life is so much more positive and I’m much more engaged with myself and the world around!!
    Mel, what you say has totally hit home! It’s real, it happens and it works!
    For those out there who still feel stuck – there is hope! Dig into these learnings Mel provides, they are totally worth it!! Keep spreading the message and healing these hurt gazelles! The world could use stronger bison. (side note: also, musk-ox, similar to a bison, move in a herd and keep the sick and young near the centre of the group so they can protect them. If you are a hurt musk-ox, feel sheltered in this group! Heal and be strong!)

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2019

      Hi Catmagic,

      That’s beautiful that you are doing so well.

      I love the musk oxen thing!

      Thank you for your share.

      Mel 🙏💕♥️

    September 13, 2019

    Ok so all this info is great, necessary, true and helpful – yet when a situation is so very tramatic – its hard to concentrate on “logical thinking ” – any advise for that ?…
    – – when either I or any coworker at my job stood up to the narca which a few of us did… this person then got the others to side with her and proceeded to use the “gaslighting – gang mobbing – fear mongering .. tactics ” – my situation involves a loss of a job that I quit due to fear mongering which was the last..abusive tactic the narc at work used to cause several to leave their work there – this was intentional so that this narc could scoup our work as well and selfishly have all our income as well as hers – this has now been accomplished – … I am devistated – this person was deviously smart and accomplished that evil goal . I am left now with anguish, menta alnd extreeme physical pain (i now have a imune disorder) due to the loss of the best job I ever had and the loss of the ability to make the best money I ever could make and I feel like i am dying – not due to this persons treatment but due to the damage it caused. I have mentally worked through tramatic issues in the past but non that left me this devistated as my dream job is now crushed and never to be reattained due to the narc.. wow – I feel like I am living in a nightmare – I feel like I am dying – or going to actually have that happen – I can bearly function – is been a disaster

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2019

      Hi Iola,

      I completely concur that logical thinking to recover from trauma doesnt work.

      My Thruver processes to heal are deep inner transformational work directly on the subconscious.

      You can find out about this here

      Please check this out, it can help you so much.

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 14, 2019

    Hi Mel

    Another great article and video. I was Cindy!! Now becoming Jean. I am cleaning up my limp. This program is saving my life. I can’t wait to see who I become for myself and my kids. My son has a understanding my daughter does in a way. But I am determined to become who I was meant to be. The shining soul I was born to be. I can’t wait to be Jean!! Cheers to thriving!!

    Forever grateful for you!!


    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2019

      Hi Kristina,

      I’m so pleased NARP is helping you so much.

      That is beautiful you are shining on.

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 14, 2019

    Dear Mel,

    I love the image of the bison and the notion of emulating the bison. After having spent many years traveling to Catalina Island where bison remain from movie-making, I became enamored by the bison. Here is a link to some of the qualities that come from advice one might glean from a bison:

    I’m on my way to wide open spaces! Thank you for teaching us to advocate for ourselves in self-partnering, Mel!

    Good on ya . . .



    September 14, 2019

    Hi Melanie, I bought your Self-Empowered course about 6 months ago, after completing the Narc recovery program. I have listened to all of the modules several times and have earnestly done the inner shifting. Today I realized, for the first time, after reading the video transcript above, that I no longer have those “big, bad, abandonment issues”. I am healed from them. Something that was the driving force in my life, to be avoided at all costs: my fear of abandonment and rejection, is completely gone. No triggers. Nothing. I could totally walk away. I truly have partnered with myself and I will not ever abandon myself. Miraculous!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2019

      Hi Karen,

      I am so doing the happy dance fir you!

      Those traumas are horrible and soooo devastating to live with!

      Yaya! Go you

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    David Lawrence
    September 14, 2019

    I have such great respect and admiration for you. I of course am one of the people you speak to. I am older and refret not having learned what you so clearly understand sooner in my life. But as I told my beautiful daughter, we are never too old to learn. But what I tell the people I trust is that the admirable thing about you is that you do not pander to your audience. It is easy to appeal to those of us who have suffered by villifying the narcissist and so many “experts” do that but as you always make so clear, it does not serve us. We must focus on our own inner wounds which made us susceptible to these people. It is so much more difficult to look at ourselves and ask ” how am I responsible” than it is to point the finger, blame and do the same thing again. Thank you for your courage, your honesty and for not pandering just to make a buck. You are remarkable. Dave

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 14, 2019

      Hi David,

      thank you for your lovely words.

      Aww many blessings to you and your daughter, and thank you for being someone who does take personal responsibility.

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 14, 2019

    There are more than one way of going about identifying the wounds incurred from vampire-ism, some more directly than others. In addition to self-healing (which has always been primary, and only appears to take more comprehensive forms of itself in time) I have had to learn through deliberate researching of the published knowledge and personal insights of others about what vampires do and how they operate. In this way, I have been helped to recognize that I incurred and carry around those wounds. This need for searching and learning from others about vampire-ism seems to have been because of the wounds having been buried or embedded subconsciously, also because this occurred at an early age. However, another factor that I feel has to be mentioned and has to be considered (in retrospect this seems crucial) is that it took a long time even getting to the point of making myself sensitive to myself at adequately deep levels of libido, aggression, body memory, not to mention emotionally and mentally, through methodic meditative processing using both, therapeutic and research insights made and published by others. It was the inner self-contact gained this way, I feel, that developed for me an ability to have deeper ranges of recognition and response within myself. In other words, in a way that I am able to understand these things in a self-unified enough way in and from myself, so as to then make changes in my former unconscious vampiric susceptibility. Before this, it was more intellectual, although for me even that was a source of hope and afforded some relief from anxiety, and could gradually be used for immediate defenses and choice-making.

    September 14, 2019

    While it is a good video it is in essence still a part of a character of a narcissistic person. I am hesitant when people use the word vampire. Vampires a group of energetic sensitive people that exist around the world and other great teachers like yourself Melanie kind of add to the bad rep. It is like we are spiritual new age people – but we like dark romantic things.

    September 15, 2019

    His favorite tv show was about vampires, his favorite movie was about vampires, he had a picture of someone dressed up as a vampire on his wall. At one point he pulled so much energy from me I was just lying there completely limp. I couldn’t even move and was barely conscious.

    September 15, 2019

    Excellent video Mel Xo
    What you describe here shows me that I have progressed with my healing, when I had been thinking I wasn’t achieving very much lately.

    For awhile there (during the researching narcissism stage), I was analysing myself & everyone I interacted with constantly, terrified I’d miss/overlook the warning flags again & not spot another narc if I wasn’t extremely alert. I was isolating myself & avoiding social engagements as much as possible trying to protect myself from becoming prey again..
    Im so pleased now to notice the progress through NARP, & that I am not panicked about wether or not someone is a narc anymore!
    Today’s post has re-enforced the fact that the module work is absolutely where the real healing happens, & all the intelligence & research in the world can’t save us from a narc if there’s still trauma trapped inside.
    I honestly can’t thank you enough Mel! Xo

      September 15, 2019

      Oops I forgot to add; At the moment I think I’m still an injured gazelle.. but pretty sure I’ve pulled myself up off the ground & healed the front two strongest legs, now just dragging the rear 2 😉 hopefully I can stay undercover long enough to regain my full strength 🤞🏼🤞🏼
      Onwards & upwards!💪🏼

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 15, 2019

      Hi Wendy,

      It so is a happy day when there is no fear about n’s. It is such a graduation.

      I’m so pleased you are doing so well and it’s my joy I could help you.

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    Robyn Lomax
    September 15, 2019

    Clean up your limp.

    September 15, 2019

    THis particular video hit home even stronger than the others. I have been watching your videos for quite awhile and they all help. This one defining the language and the body language made me sit back, laugh and cry- all at the same time. That was it. And so much more. It is good to know there is a whole community out there to support and that we are not alone.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 16, 2019

      Hi Alexis,

      I’m so pleased this one resonated with you and that you feel supported.

      Much love to you

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 17, 2019

    Hi Mel,

    Laughed a lot through this video sometimes recognising the me before NARP definitely Gazelle in the spotlight and me now just comfortable in my own skin and yes a Bison. I have had a trailing NARC who keeps looking for the weak point in our exchanges. I find it curious as it is now so obvious that I too am laughing on the inside at the attempts to find the wounds.
    There is nothing appealing in any of this. Such a huge difference in finding and staying centred in your truth to looking for saviours externally. It’s great now to be able to laugh. Thank you for your wonderful program and the work you do.


    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      September 18, 2019

      Hi Sandrina,

      It’s my pleasure and that’s great that you are doing so well.

      I love that you are being you authentically.

      Continued love and blessings to you

      Mel 🙏💕💛

    September 21, 2019

    Keep “bisoning”!! What a great phrase! I will post it in every corner of my house…Thank you Melanie for another amazing video!!

    Jill Alexandra Rock
    October 3, 2019

    “Narcissicists don’t put up their hands and say, Hello, I’m an energy vampire about to desecrate your life!” I laughed out loud at that…it’s not funny…which is why I won’t post a laughy emoji. But I laughed because it resonates in all truth…

    Thank you Melanie!

    ildiko STUDEMIRE
    October 5, 2019

    I am so happy, I found your teachings months ego. I was 8nder NARC’s abuse for almost 8 years. Then in the past 2 years i learned about this.Since before i did not even knew about NARCsS. I blamed myself, like i need to be a better person do more etc. Then i realised myself, that something wrong ,since i am a good person , always cared about others, etc. Then i stated to observe him with an outsider’s eyes,like watching a ovie, and that when i seen how he gaslighted me, ho e manipulated me, how nothing was good enough, etc. I became much sicker during the years like others, i got fibromyalgia, etc had sleeping problems, .Practicaly almost died from the emotional abuse and from his fubbing me from my life energy. Finaly more and more disattached myself from him, from his rage, and fou nd out, it not really bothering me anymore, ,like i do not care. I am an empath, but was in the extreme, -now i see it_ till i realised, i am not a savior, Jesus was, so i can help, to a little by showing to them, how and why they need to do their own inner work with their own inner hurts, damage ,low self esteem, It is not my job. Of cause it made him even more anmgry and in more and more rage.Meanwhile, since i have no family around and can not work because of my disability. I had to find and looked for years for solution for my financial misery, how to solve it . Do not forget, if you live in a poor town, and have no money to move away, everything is so much harder. Finally he got more and more often angry, for on july 7th when i woke up, and gone to the kitchen for a caffe. and he was there, no good morning, but yelling , because he found 3 (!!) little ants in the sugar container. I just looked at him and said; -“good morning for you too” and walked away. How strange karma is. He always said to me in the past 6 months, how he want me to die, etc.On that day, from the so much anger and yelling even when i was outside in my garden and reading a book, he still yelled out on the window, for many times for 20 more minutes.-He died in a heart attack.I do not wish death on anybody. It is so sad, BUT i know i did nothing, kept my peace, always wished blessings on him, but in this case he “killed” himself by being always angry, and it always raised his blood pressure. .I guess, I did my part to become free of him, But God took him out of my life as well

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