Was the narcissist coming into your life a senseless, cruel mistake?
Was it to destroy you and what is important to you?
Trust me I know you could 100% believe that. I used to too…
However, know there is a REAL reason – an incredible one – that not only holds the key to your full Thriver Recovery…
But also, the most incredible resurrection of you and your life that you could imagine.
BY knowing this TRUTH you can be set FREE.
Watch today’s Thriver TV episode to find out EXACTLY what it is.
Most of us have believed that the narcissist coming into our life was senseless and completely and horribly ‘wrong’.
But I want to challenge you in the most loving and direct way today, by saying this: only if you are interested in deeper Quantum Truths that can shine a huge light on this mess and offer you the truth that will set you free watch on … otherwise maybe don’t.
Because truly, if you are still in the process of feeling deeply victimised and want to be there indefinitely (which I understand, because I’ve been there myself), this video isn’t for you.
However, for those of you who are Quantum and Truth seekers, I promise you the deep exploration of the following question holds the key to your true recovery: What is the REAL reason the narcissist came into your life?
Today I’m going to give you that answer, in various ways where I hope you won’t miss, by sharing my own journey from victim to survivor to Thriver.
I’m passionate about what I learned and applied regarding the real reason why the narcissist came into my life, because it saved my life. Me sharing it with you means this may save your life too.
So, if you are still with me watching this video, let’s get started by flipping perceptions – from outside in to inside out – because it’s vital.
The Outside In Version
Within narcissistic abuse, by looking outwards at what is happening to us we see that this person, the narcissist, is doing all sorts of unspeakable things to us and the people and things that are dear to our hearts.
It seems tragic, cruel and senseless.
To make matters worse, whatever we are trying to do to stop this person hurting us, it doesn’t seem to be working. And, to add insult to injury, we feel so mentally trapped in it.
Why can’t we walk away? Why can’t we leave? And even if we have physically moved away, we can’t seem to emotionally.
And why do we keep getting drawn back in time and time again? And even when we finally don’t go back, why can’t we stop obsessing about what happened with this person?
What is REALLY going on here?
If we stay in our normal human reality of looking outwards, we actually never get to work it out. The abuse continues, and even intensifies, and our feelings of being powerless and out of control seem to get worse.
The Inside Out Version
When we turn inwards, to the only person we do have the power to heal and change, then we CAN heal and change what is happening.
Yes, we are being traumatised beyond measure by narcissists, but it’s not until we let go of our focus on them and come deeply inside to find and heal the parts of ourselves hooked on them, that we can move out of our powerlessness and trapped and traumatised state.
From a Higher perspective, as well as my own personal journey and co-generating liberation from abuse with thousands of others, I know exactly why most people don’t get better after narcissistic abuse – because they are not working with the truth.
For many of us it takes a long time to know the real reason why the narcissist came into our life. I didn’t know the real reason until I was within a millimetre off dying, in my breakdown on my bathroom floor, when the answer filled me with such blinding clarity that there was no missing it.
Here is the absolute truth.
The trauma I am receiving outside of me, matches already existing trauma trapped inside of me. Now that these unconscious wounds have become conscious, I can go to them, release them and start finally living free of them.
Is This Victim Blaming?
The biggest problem I see in narcissistic abuse circles is when people are determined to uphold, ‘I didn’t ask for this, and there was no reason for this to happen to me.’
My recent video about peptide addiction explains the results of this thinking, which has dire and far-reaching negative results.
I understand this thinking; I used to be vehemently attached to it too, and sadly it nearly killed me. Because, when I was not willing to go deeper and heal my inner trauma I was fruitlessly trying to get others to change to make me feel better.
It wasn’t happening and the reason it wasn’t is because it is a false premise. It is the definition of handing our power over and being stuck in a state of personal powerlessness.
We also may not realize that this is the very co-dependency, looking for self outside of self, that allowed such horrific abuse to happen to us as a continuation into our adulthood where we DO have the power to stop it happening.
It’s Wrong Town on steroids and sadly the most destructive path we can take after being abused.
I believe the following is the issue: people thinking going inwards to heal our wounds means accepting ‘blame’, and that we are being ‘shamed’ by receiving the information that our inner work is necessary.
This is the EXACT thinking that has led us into the madness of our own self-abuse – being so horrified to think that we may be ‘defective’ that we refuse to meet our own Inner Being with tenderness, love, care and support.
Instead, we have self-medicated away our pain with food, other substances, workaholism, over giving to others, and all sorts of other ways – including having relationships with sick and unhealthy people – to self-avoid the cries to come inside and meet and heal ourselves.
By going inside the Quantum Way, we are not beating ourselves up with self-repulsion (which is horribly self-defeating). Rather, we are acknowledging there has been a ton of trauma in the human experience that was inflicted on us by other people who were steeped in their own trauma and unconsciousness. And like a virus this unseen force, wedged in our Inner identity, is leading us into more of these situations that continue to hurt.
I can assure you I have lived both ways, asleep to this fact and awake to it.
As the victim thinking that there was absolutely NO reason at all for a narcissist to come into my life and smash me so hard, I wasn’t getting the healing and evolution gift of freeing myself and future generations from ongoing generational trauma. The smashing continued.
When I woke up and realised that there was a great deal of inherited abuse trauma as well as many childhood knots for me to unwind – all of which had accumulated to toxic overload, hence experiencing narcissistic abuse – then, finally, I turned inwards and started meeting and releasing and reprogramming these inner traumas.
Soon afterwards I started to get well and free in ways that exceeded my wildest dreams, which was a miracle considering I was told that there was no way back to heal from my trauma conditions.
What Deeper Truths Are Narcissists Showing Us?
Narcissists enter our lives pretending to be the ‘answer’ to what we need to heal within us – a need that we may not even be aware of yet – and then cease the faux support and start to smash those exact parts, making the pain so horrific that unconscious parts become fully conscious.
The narcissist first appeared to be the saviour of our wounds and then became the messenger of them instead.
Let me grant you my own example. I used to suffer greatly from fears of abandonment and not being valid and seen or being ‘good enough’ to be loved. This was deeply unconscious because it was all I had ever known as my ‘self’ and my reality.
Like many people who are narcissistically abuse, I was over-functioning and over-compensating for my inner unconscious traumas and was very practically capable. I seemed strong and other people would have sworn I had it together. Yet on the inside I was battling anxiety and depression, which to overcome I had to keep myself very busy and to keep achieving goals.
Naturally, because it is how this stuff goes, I was never gentle, tender or supportive with these inner parts. Rather, I was constantly self-abandoning my internal pain, not making my feelings important at all, and being incredibly self-critical and demanding of myself. Again, this was my version of ‘normal’, being the only way I had ever known to be with myself; this was exactly what people in my life had always modelled to me.
It wasn’t until narcissistic abuse that these parts I had been surviving and covering over, came screaming to the forefront. The narcissists in my life initially appeared in my life validating and approving of me as well as claiming a full commitment to me. However, things switched and my fears and gaps were, over time, attacked with full ferocity. I was rapidly and cruelly abandoned, invalidated and regularly accused of being a horrible person.
My story is your story – in this way our stories are all pretty much identical. We see the narcissist as the ‘answer’ to our wounds – often unconsciously hence the powerful unexplainable bond to them – yet their actual message to us is to find and heal these wounds within ourselves.
When we awaken and get very self-honest, this is how we know there are parts of ourselves which are unhealed; that we are still sticking around and frantically trying to make the narcissist think and do it differently.
We are clinging onto that person trying to force them to provide us with the relief of these traumas, yet the only way out of the nightmare is to let go of them and attend to those parts that are screaming out deeply within ourselves.
If we are a whole and healed source to ourselves, it becomes a clear-cut thing: ‘I don’t agree with your warped version of me, and I have NO need to try to change you to have a great version of myself! Goodbye.’
We are thrilled to discover that we have ZERO urge for the narcissist to provide us with ourselves, and the longing, desperation and missing ends.
As does the narcissist’s power to hook you and hurt you. If you get the inner healing job done well enough and the narcissist becomes totally irrelevant, while you become a force of fearless, calm power, they will let go and move on with their life.
False Selves cannot exist in healed and whole environments, no more than germs can in a healthy, clean environment. There is nothing for them to feed off.
You may think this is glib and unrealistic. I promise you it’s not. Absolutely there can be complications with narcissists that need to be unpicked and sorted such as custody with children, property, businesses and all sorts of enmeshments. Yet no matter how difficult these challenges are, I really want you to understand that the greatest and most deadly binds with narcissists are the ones we are suffering emotionally through our wounds.
When we heal from those, all else can follow.
Myself and thousands of others have granted the overwhelming evidence time and time again that when we use Quantum Tools, such as NARP, to find, release and heal what the narcissist brings up in us, then our soul contract with them is concluded.
That’s when the healing message – posing as a holocaust to get our attention – ends.
The same happens with people with cancer. When individuals have gone inwards to discover what the cancer is calling them to heal and then address that at true causation level, the cancer, due to having delivered the message, may suddenly and completely leave their experience.
Narcissists, like serious illnesses, are RELENTLESS and their incredible purpose as a False Self is to NOT STOP delivering the torture until you get the message.
I dearly hope with all my heart that you made it here with me to the end, and that you are absorbing the message regarding the REAL reason why a narcissist came into your life.
And if you do know it now, it is time to turn inwards, self-partner and do the healing work to free yourself not just from the narcissist but from every internal trauma and false belief that has been limiting your incredible True Self and Life.
That’s the work I live as a lifestyle for myself and which I love assisting others with so that they too can claim their highest and best lives.
If you are ready to not just merely survive but truly Thrive join me in my 16-day free course where you will start shedding trauma and coming home to you. You can connect to this right away by clicking this link.
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And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.
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