Melanie Tonia Evans

Quantum Realities And Healing From Narcissistic Abuse – Part 1

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 5
Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans


This is my two-part article about Quantum Truths and the holographic nature of things.

I have been talking a lot lately on YouTube about these topics and people have been asking for a deeper conversation about them.

I think this is a really good thing because I believe the world is awakening to the understanding that ”there is more going on than meets the eye”. People are even starting to wonder whether there is “an unseen world”, or some sort of “consciousness” affecting everything.

You may or may not be one of these people.

Once upon a time I wasn’t – but for some time now I have been.

I think what is really important for all of us is to be open to new information instead of just poo- hooing it, simply because it is foreign, new or upsets the status quo of what we used to believe.

History has proven time and time again that colossally important paradigms that were believed as absolute truth can become completely outdated redundant beliefs. The belief that the world was flat, and that the earth was the centre of the solar system – which even led to people being put to death as heretics for opposing those beliefs initially – were just two of many of them.

For the purpose of this article let’s have an open mind and heart to explore the possibility that there is an unseen world and a consciousness that is affecting everything – and just because we can’t see “consciousness” with our physical eyes certainly does not mean it doesn’t exist.

Having stated this intention, please know in no shape or form is it my job to convince you of anything. I really have no preference one way or the other. My purpose and mission is to share the joy and expansion of life as I feel it, live it and love it to not just free you from the throes of narcissistic abuse, but offer you the most radiant life and True Self development possible.

This is simply an opportunity for you to join me here in this Quantum Orientation – that not only has worked for me, but for thousands of others. And in no way is it “right” or “wrong” if you don’t, because the ultimate responsibility I have is ONLY to my own soul and existence in order to live this myself.

And, identically, your choices can only be yours.

It is my desire within this article series to give you some great resources to do your own research. And this is important as I am not a scientist … rather I am a healer.

In this first of this two part series, if you are waiting for scientific proof, you will be disappointed. In this first part I am not offering it, what I am offering instead is a deeper feel into these truths and the understandings why so many of these truths are not tangibly and logically discerned.

In Part Two I will point you more towards actual scientific discoveries – which honestly I feel are nowhere near as important as lived experiences.

It is my intention in Part One now to have a conversation with your soul … one that offers you the opportunity to change your life beyond description, by going deeper into the reason and meaning of your existence and the existence of life itself.


Physical Proof of Quantum Realities

I have been having a very interesting conversation on my Facebook Page over the last two days with a gentleman named Kirk who is adamantly sceptical about Quantum Truths and healing practices.

This has been a wonderful dialogue and he has been a great sport – admitting that he is in a lot of pain over break ups and his mother dying, which has left him feeling very broken and depressed. He has also humbly and honestly expressed that he has major abandonment issues, and relationship addiction problems. Ultimately he is seeking relief from “someone” and “some method” but wants absolutely scientific proof that it works first.

Even though this man was on the “attack “– I felt compelled to answer him with this:

“Kirk, I know your mind is closed to anything other than absolute scientific evidence and “proof”. Could any scientist put your emotions of “abandonment” and “relationship addiction” under a microscope and give you scientific proof for their existence?

Kirk, a big struggle that you are having at the moment is you are trying to solve emotional problems with five sensory tangible solid logical “stuff” which does not even fall into the same level of truth. Emotions are childhood wounds – they never respond to logical adult answers. They response to emotional relief, love and healing.

Does a wounded five year old inside you, who suffered his painful childhood want the “scientists of the world” to help him feel safe, loved and whole? No way he does, he wants you to turn inwards, stop fighting people outside of you holding them responsible for proving to you “the right scientific formula” and for you to just start loving and healing him. Maybe that is why you are struggling, angry and not feeling better?”

Kirk replied … “Thanks Melanie!! Yes that makes sense and I realized that before, but my logical mind knows that it is only the power of belief/gullibility/placebo effect that makes it work, not whether it is true or not. But it just feels fake for me to pretend.”

This led me to type this response to him … “Kirk the truth is so what if it is placebo – what is real or not real? Do you think there is some governing body saying “that is REALLY real” … the truth is (as any Quantum Scientist will tell you) whatever is real is ONLY ever what you believe is!!

You are overcomplicating everything!! Truly why wait for the magical answer that may never come when you have the power to feel better and heal anyway?

Beliefs are the deal, always, and when we change them our reality shifts to match. If we believe people can’t be trusted – we get ripped off … If we believe we need proof – we always need proof?? See? Life and us together create the evidence that we are RIGHT! So it was only ever you being RIGHT Kirk, about whatever you decided you want to be right about!

Have a look at your life and peel it back and you will see the evidence of that in your life everywhere. You have not as yet experienced how your reality can and does shift 180 degrees away from old realities to new ones when you shift your beliefs. Believe you me there is life after and before and they bear NO resemblance. There is no other truth than that for any of us …

Do I know EXACTLY how that works in the unseen world – NO – I’m not Creation or God and don’t pretend to be. Have I lived it and consciously choose to live it every day and SEE the real results 100% consistently –YES! So my take on it is “placebo away” Kirk because you are making up the whole damn thing anyway, we all are!!

And pretend all you like, because it’s our imagination of emotionally becoming a state that creates the rest of all of us catching up and becoming it. How did anyone dream of being a pro baseballer and then was it! They deeply imagined it as a child, felt it and that was the traction that created the rest. Life in all its entirety is no different and that is the “powerful creative child inside” we kill off with logic. Heal him back to life Kirk and you will never look back.”

Kirk answered back wondering if it was even me dialoguing with him on Facebook, (jeepers!) – again admitting how sceptical he was … I than asked him permission to share our conversation here – which he agreed to wholeheartedly.

Good on you Kirk!

And you know what … I have loved this dialogue with Kirk, because I know his struggle and expression of what is going on for him is perfect timing for this article. It is totally relevant … because it may be exactly what is going on for you too.

Now to share with you my own journey regarding “belief” and “concrete evidence” (which I promise I will grant you resources to check out for yourself within this series). Ever since my breakdown with narcissistic abuse, I gave up on needing concrete logical proof because I started basing my life on how I felt inside myself, and the real life results that started showing up when I started working on my Inner Being.

In fact I found a great relief in dropping the mental need to know and categorise everything to the last degree – which is exactly how my life used to be. What I realised is all of my obsession, researching, asking, searching, trying to work out all the answers with everything outside of me and my endless second-guessing paled into insignificance as effectiveness when weighed against the truth that my gut and self-partnering created for me.

Finally, I had only one focus to work on – the answers inside me. The relief of that was bigger than words can express. Now I know we don’t need to understand all the intricate mechanics of the God Particle (Creation) in order to experience it working in our life.

These Quantum Laws can’t really be conceptualized logically, because our logical mind is too limited by the need to “rationalize” and “categorize” in a linear, sequential, factual way. These Laws and truth, in stark contrast, can only be deeply felt, lived and experienced through our emotional Infinite Being, which is multi-dimensional and therefore unlimited.

So for now, in Part One, let’s explore that.


What are Quantum Truths About?

There are many, many people who are awakening to the beliefs that our consciousness plays in dramatically with the consciousness of everything that surrounds us.

First of all we can ask “What does consciousness mean?”

The answer is this: our emotional state – which is comprised of our belief systems and where we are vibrating emotionally at any given time on any given topic.

This will always come back to our beliefs.

For example someone may have the beliefs that all men are cheaters because of experiencing this in her family of origin and then experiencing these patterns in her own adult relationships.

She fears (expects) every intimate partner to be adulterous, is paranoid about every new partner being unfaithful, and ironically keeps choosing unconsciously the cheating men that represent her father to try to replay her childhood differently.

These men are unconsciously familiar to her and therefore attractive to her and attracted to her, and she is stuck in the same pattern with, as yet, no way out.

Because she is unconscious to the deeper forces that are going on – the emotional traumas and programs in her subconscious – she thinks it is all happening “outside of her” and continually blames these men for the pain she suffers in relationships.

It could be said this woman is vibrating at a low level of consciousness with love relationships.

Another example would be a man who has done a lot of work on his original traumas where he used to control women.

He self-partnered with his emotions, confronted his “demons” and realised that he had felt powerless as a child to stop his mother abandoning him, and leaving him emotionally neglected.

As a result of confronting and healing these inner subconscious trauma wounds he was able to enter relationships granting his partners healthy space and no longer experienced the insecurity, anxiety and fury that used to engulf him and cause him to try to self-medicate these painful feelings by trying to control his love partners.

Once those wounds he experienced with his mother, many years ago, that used to generate those destructive emotions no longer existed inside him – all urge to control vanished.

It could be said this man is vibrating at a high level of consciousness within love relationships.

So to encapsulate the difference between “low” and “high” levels of consciousness, it is simply this:

Low equals (victim) – I don’t believe I am the source of my experience, and therefore don’t take responsibility for my emotions.

High equals (Quantum) – I believe that I am the source of my experience, and therefore take full personal responsibility for my emotions.

Another way to say it is – I am awake, or I am not awake to the deeper truth that will set me free.

The freedom always being within myself (the inside).

So once we start accepting Quantum Truths it is initially very confronting; first of all because we can’t physically see how the energy of consciousness interweaves with other energetic beings and things.

Even beyond this we are confronted – point blank – because all of a sudden we have to take responsibility.

If our energy is the generative Source of our experience we know there is no point trying to change and call out other people and things. We realise there is only one person to change – and this is ourselves.

Once we take on this mission and start doing the Quantum work, we recognise the Universes apart results we start having in our life. We clearly see all the futility we used to battle with when we tried to control other people and things in order to feel safe and whole.

It never worked.

We also start experiencing the power that comes back to us and the wholeness and freedom we start experiencing, as well as profound transformation not just with how we feel but with the real life results we experience,  generate, hook up with or not and start drawing into our experiences.

All because we focused first and foremost on becoming what we want to experience.

This level of empowered Quantum Living requires us to drop our defences – the judgements and projections we were taught to believe were necessary. They are not just unnecessary, they severely stunt our growth and development.

To “go Quantum” requires the necessary humility to admit that something needs to change within us. Naturally this is a very hard call for people determined to stay in victimisation and demonising the people who have hurt them.

There are also large groups of thought determined to call any Quantum Model “victim bashing”, which is incredulous when we see the pain and suffering continually generated on Abuse Forums where narcissists are continually focused on and “called out”.

This is akin to taking daily poison, expecting the narcissist to die and wondering why real lasting relief and release from the pain doesn’t occur.

Also, of course, the Quantum Model is often dismissed as some nebulous, mystical, etheric “out there” nonsense – yet the results of it are indisputable.

Here, as only one isolated example, is the Quantum Model that has allowed this community to create and experience unprecedented healing which no victim model does.

The reason for that? Because the Quantum Model allows us to know that we are no longer a victim of the world around us, and in fact we are a powerful creator who can become and generate the personal life and True Self expression we would dearly love to live and be.


Quantum Scientists Changing the Rules of Our World

I’ve talked many times about how I am a very big fan of people’s work such as Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispenza and Gregg Bradden – the scientists who are exposing brave new information that is revolutionising the science model of how we look at ourselves and how we look at our world.

This information is known as “Epigenetics”. This is a word to research and explore over the internet. More and more information, findings and experiments (many documented now) are completely obliterating the old science model – literally – just as the Copernican Model asserted a sun-centred solar system.

Therefore my recommendation is to do your research before you dismiss what I am purporting. 

What Epigenetics is doing is releasing us from old outdated paradigms and models physically, mentally and emotionally and granting us the faith and the belief and the knowing that we can take our power back and create ourselves anew.

These new findings explain how we are not stuck in old ways of being, or even old health predispositions. Now we no longer have to accept that just because our parents and grandparents had certain health, mental or emotional predispositions that we are doomed to them also – regardless of whether these are DNA health predispositions, or emotional conditional programming we received as a child.

Once we realise how much consciousness has to do with not only our own, but also our forebears levels of dis-ease, we no longer have to accept that we have to be a high candidate for any diminished state we are presently living, or believe we are stuck with.

In stark contrast what it does mean is that we can change ourselves in order to change our life – regardless of our history, or the levels of trauma we have suffered.

We can change our selves and our cells literally, and the ways we do this is not just through dietary and health habits. Primarily it is though our beliefs, our emotional state – the vibrational state we show up as in the world.

Two books by Bruce Lipton are a fantastic starting point if you want to understand this on a deeper level, as well as read about his scientific findings that shatter old paradigms. These books are The Biology of Belief and The Honeymoon Effect.  I thoroughly recommend reading both.


How Do Quantum Truths Relate to narcissistic Abuse

Our lives, emotions, mental capacities and ability to generate a healthy life are under siege as a result of being narcissistically abused. We become a diminished self trying to function, and often become so stripped and sick that we simply can’t go on “as normal” anymore.

There is no greater time and higher necessity to find the most powerful ways to change ourselves and change our lives than when in the midst of such trauma.

The victim model is not a Quantum model; instead it is a simplistic model of, “You did this to me, I am now destroyed and it is your fault”, and at first blush absolutely that is how it appeared to all of us.

We were good people trying to love sociopathic people who were hurting us immensely – and because of narcissistic abuse we lost pieces of ourselves, all self-respect, our mental, emotion and physical health, the ability to function and usually material security as well as people very dear to us.

And sadly, because of what happened to us we may find it nearly impossible to believe that we can resurrect our lives.

Myself, as well as so many others have / are living this experience. My own story was I had lost nearly everything around me and I was diagnosed with adrenal and psychotic breakdown as well as many other trauma conditions that were so severe I could apparently never be healed and would need three anti-psychotics to somehow live an existence of “diminished functioning”.

The world view was, “I was trashed, there was no way out of the dis-ease and medication that would mask my psychotic episodes and subdue my adrenals was the only hope.”

This was the victim model. There was no insight, healing, evolution and freedom in creating my own emancipation from abuse realities, or creating my organic True Self radiance within it.

Sadly this is the model that our world has been far too invested in –  this orientation – “Let’s cut it out, medicate it away, numb it, get it to shut up and pretend that we are okay.”

It’s a model of trying to get symptoms to disappear without ever addressing the real issues.

It’s a model of “let’s stay sick, alive and medicated … and never free of the reliance on the pharmaceutical / psychology system.”

It takes all of the power away from ourselves to heal ourselves – it is a model of dependency and powerlessness.

The reasons this goes on is because we aren’t taught that we have the power within our own consciousness to release and up-level our trauma (the cause), which will then reinstate our being to the wellbeing that it naturally knows how to produce without interference.

Then all symptoms disappear because there is no longer a cause generating them.

No pill or drug makes you better – what makes you better is becoming a source of consciousness within yourself that allows your body, mind and being to come back to centre, heal yourself and generate the wellbeing it was always designed to create – emotionally, mentally and physically.

So what goes wrong, and why has there been intervention that has messed up this natural wellbeing?

The toxicity of our lives is what has done the damage. And the greatest toxicity we can have is the toxicity within our own consciousness – which poisons every part of our life as fear, pain, blame, shame and judgement.

In the victim model we will always blame someone else for the state of our emotions.

In the Quantum Model, when we are determined to get well by raising our consciousness first and foremost, we take 100% responsibility to heal our own internal emotions regardless of who and how people hurt us.

We recognise that as children we were powerless but as adults we are not and if the trauma is in our body, it is ours –  regardless of how it got there and therefore is no other adult’s responsibility.

We do not subscribe to the powerlessness of holding other people responsible and waiting for them to fix it for us – especially as most unconscious abusers (who are in victim consciousness themselves) have no hope of healing themselves let alone us.

Today despite my diagnosis years ago, I am the most expanded, joyful, and free of fear I have ever been in my life. Because I continually find and up-level any traumas (which show up as negative emotion) from within my body – this state of wellbeing just gets more and more and more.

There is no blaming of anything or anyone outside me involved. If it is in my being – it is mine, and only I can claim it, shift it and transform it.

Does this mean I am to blame for what goes wrong in my life?

Not at all!!

It means rather than being at the whim of a life of “less than” choices being generated from unattended to trauma in my subconscious making me create “less than” choices, I now have the power to change first myself and then my life beyond description.

My healthy choices now create a life that is as healthy as my Inner Being.

The true reason why myself and so many others have healed the unthinkable and even “unhealable” is because we went Quantum.

We refused to believe “I AM this diagnosis”; rather we knew that the only reason we were in such a state of dis-ease was because we had trapped trauma in our bodies and that once we found and energetically released that trauma that we would return to natural wellbeing.

Hence why today myself and thousands of other people in this community are healthier and far more radiant and expanded than even way before being narcissistically abused – because whilst cleaning up the narcissistic abuse trauma in our bodies we also picked up, released and healed the original traumas that had unknowingly led us into narcissistic abuse.

Traumas that had been previously shutting us down, putting us into contraction and holding us back in many areas of our life.

Narcissistic abuse trauma is significant and it is so for a very powerful evolutionary reason. With narcissistic abuse, the trauma does not simply end when we are separated from the narcissist– even if the narcissist permanently exits our life and there is never any further contact or drama.

The trauma lives on inside us – until it is resolved – and that is independent of whether the narcissist continues abusing or not. Such a trauma is showing us something … that there is a much greater reality going on inside us than five sensory / solid / “real” stuff.

Can we go to a doctor and he / she perform an x-ray that states “You have 20 pounds of unresolved betrayal, devastation and emotional feelings of annihilation within you.”?

No! Of course not! But we feel it! Just because it can’t be physically x-rayed does not means it is NOT real. If you want to go Quantum this is what you need to accept – what you FEEL is going to be your truth. It is your beliefs, the state of your Inner Being and is the exact generation of your life – to the letter.

In fact “what shows up” physically is always the extension of what you really feel – deep inside you. No differently to the pro-baseballer becoming his dream that he felt inside him passionately as a child.

That is what you have to work on – your emotions.

And to work on your emotions you need to work on your deeply held beliefs.

The dramatic and life-halting experience of narcissistic abuse shows us POINT BLANK that what is going on in the unseen world (our emotions / consciousness) is powerful enough to affect our entire life.

If the unseen world was really nonsense – how can this be so?

The unseen world is far from nonsense.

Our emotions and beliefs are the complete basis of what we think, how we feel, how we behave, how we show up and who and what we generate life experiences with (which amounts to everything).

Therefore what this breakdown of our emotions is showing us is this: a signal to heal what we need to change in our consciousness / emotions in order to generate wellbeing in our life.

At the Quantum Level this is actually an invitation to access something deeper within self.

It is a true invitation to inwardly transform in order to start moving from Survival (how we were previously living in reaction trying to control everything around us) into Creation (living from a state of responding to unfold Life accordingly to our beingness).


Approaching Life in Quantum Ways

If we believe our consciousness is generating the wellbeing or otherwise of our lives we start thinking very differently about what is going to help us get well.

We stop trying to force things outside us to change, and we make it our highest mission to make the changes on the inside.

These become the real questions, “What is it inside me that is allowing this painful experience?” and “What are the unresolved wounds inside me that are co-generating this?”

If we are not emotionally whole, healed and free regarding certain topics we have “glitches” in our programming. This is a common issue in the human experience because we all have stuff! And we can ask ourselves, “Do we stay an unconscious victim, or do we go Quantum and choose to grow ourselves beyond these wounded experiences?”

I and so many people I know would not be here now if we had not gone Quantum.

To simplify what “going Quantum” really means … it means the understanding that there is no outside to combat, there is only the inside emotional traumas and painful beliefs to work on – which means not pointing the finger at, yelling out about narcissists and trying to get them exposed and eradicated whilst staying deranged, angry and intensely victimised.

You can’t get well by pointing the finger and being a victim. No-one does. I have never seen that work once in all the thousands of cases of narcissistic abuse recovery I have been involved in.

And the real reason is this – every moment that you keep coursing the negative toxic emotions of judgement and blame through your being, is a moment that you are denying yourself your own self-partnering, love, healing and emancipation from your own wounds.

Not only is this an act denying yourself your own love, it is also continually adding to your trauma by poisoning yourself. Judgement and blame are deeply destructive peptides (chemicals) to manufacture and have coursing through your being and your emotional self is being destroyed regardless of whether the blame is directed at self or others – it’s all toxicity.

When you wake up to this … why would you purposefully hate and hurt yourself so much and even pretend that doing this could help you or others?

Years ago, one of my biggest breakthroughs in regard to working out how to recover from narcissistic abuse, came as a result of watching the movie What The Bleep.

Whilst seeing Joe Dispenza on screen for the very first time, I realised something very vital – things about “neuron peptides” and “peptide addiction”. It answered so much to me in regard to why I could not stop thinking about the narcissist and what he had done to me, no matter what I tried.

Since releasing information based on What The Bleep taught me, coupled with how to combat it with Quanta Freedom Healing so many others have been able to heal from “peptide addiction” as well.

The following is parts of this transcript from What The Bleep.

“The brain is made up of tiny brain cells called neurons. These neurons have tiny branches that reach out and connect to other neurons to form a neuronet. Each place where they connect is integrated into a thought or a memory. The brain builds up all its concepts by the law of associative memory. Ideas, thoughts and feelings are all constructed and interconnected within this neuronet. And all have a possible relationship with one another. The concept and the feeling of love, for instance, is stored in this vast neuronet. But we build up the concept of love from many other different ideas. Some people have love connected to disappointment. When they think about love, they experience the memory of pain, sorrow, anger and even rage. Rage may be linked to hurt which may be linked to a specific person which then is connected back to love.

We build up models of how we see the world outside of us. And the more information we have the more we refine our model one way or another. And what we ultimately do is tell ourselves a story about what the outside world is. Any information that we process, that we take in from the environment, is always coloured by the experiences that we’ve had and any emotional response that we’re having about what we’re bringing in.”

“…the hypothalamus assembles chemicals called peptides that match certain emotions. There’s a chemical, or peptide, for every emotion. When we experience an emotion, the hypothalamus releases these peptides into the blood stream and then to the cells in the body. Along the outside of the cells are billions of receptors, which are receivers of incoming information. The peptides sit in these receptors, attaching themselves to the cell, sending it information and changing it in many ways. It sets off a whole cascade of biochemical events, some of which cause changes in the nucleus of the cell. So now your cells are receiving a chemical (an emotion) – a chemical that is addictive.”

“We bring to ourselves situations that will fulfill the biochemical craving of the cells of our body by creating situations that meet our chemical needs.”

“Nerve cells that fire together wire together. If you practice something over and over again those nerve cells have a long-term relationship. If you get angry on a daily basis and give reason for your victimization in your life on a daily basis you are re-wiring and re-integrating that neuronet on a daily basis and that neuronet now has a long-term relationship with all those other nerve cells called an identity.”

So naturally all of this is what is going on inside us.

The peptides that our cells are used to receiving, which naturally in narcissistic abuse is negative emotions, are the chemicals we are addicted to. We are also addicted to going to the co-generator of these emotions, the narcissist, until we break the peptide addiction cycle.

I did a video series all about this several years ago. If you haven’t as yet ever watched it you can do so here.

In order to start coming out of our trance of believing that we are powerless and victims and to stop suffering the futility of trying to wrestle with things and people outside of us, we can go Quantum and realise that what we need to change is inside us, and we can only change what is inside us in order to change our life.

If I had stayed hating the ex-narcissist and blaming him for the demise of my life, my soul and my future, would I be living the incredible, glorious, expanded life I do now? Would anyone who is free and empowered and generating a wonderful existence after abuse be able to do so out of a model of “holding someone else responsible for the state of their life?”

The answer is obviously “No”.

I hope you are starting to feel the power of “going Quantum” and what it creates in your Life.

Truly it as wondrous as it is unlimited.

It is the Model for not only our New Selves, but for our New World – and I am excited beyond measure about it!

If you haven’t yet joined in with one of my 3 Keys To Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse Webinars, I want to let you know that this will be our last one for the year.

So if you want to partake in a deep journey of healing and transformation, allowing you to get your Thriver recovery started before the new year, please join us!

Click here to reserve your space for the final Webinar for the year.

Next week, we are going to dive into Part Two, where I will share with you evidence of the most radical Quantum Model of healing I have ever come across, as well as information about Entanglement, The Double Split Experiment, and Holographic Quantum Healing … and more.

Stay tuned!

I hope you enjoyed Part One and I look forward to answering your comments and questions.



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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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35 Thoughts on Quantum Realities And Healing From Narcissistic Abuse – Part 1
    Jeanie Byars
    December 4, 2015

    I just finished reading your article. ..I must say at first I was wondering where you were going with your thoughts and understanding on Quantum Living..
    I am a firm believer in God but I agree 100 percent on the reading. ..Me being a firm believer of God is the same…I have been working so hard on myself for 3 years and I am finally healing the deep deep hurt of my childhood. ..But I first needed to get rid of the hurt that was sitting on top of the deep hurt..God’s word has been my healing…I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t work hard on the word that has been at my finger tip my whole life…But all in all what ever helps anyone with the must painful soul pain I use to have I am all for it…Amen Amen. ..Thank you for a good reading. ..

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 6, 2015

      Hi Jeanie,

      I am so pleased this resonated with you – and I totally agree … releasing our pain is about releasing our pain. And surely that and making room for love and healing, and being healthier, happier more whole people is God’s work ….

      Because I am sure that is what Divinity wants for all of us, as well as the rest of the planet and others.

      Mel xo

      February 8, 2016

      Hello, I’m currently new here but I have a question or a few. I just recently ended a 9yr relationship w my boyfriend. In the beginning we had problems and he blamed me for all of them which I started to believe some of it was true. But then I started to research and came across narcissistic and PA behaviors. He has all of them. I confronted him with them. He denied all. He denies everything to the tee. Nothing is ever wrong w him. Well two weeks ago I told him he needed to move back to his place because we needed our time apart. I trusted him so much w all my assets because he never gave me any suspicion of anything. So while I was at work, he rented a moving company and took all of his things and he stole $40,000 of my savings I had stored away at my home for retirement. Till this day he doesn’t want to give me back my money. He wanted to come back home. I lost all my respect and all the love for him. I am so disgusted to the point that if I see or here his name I want to throw up. I can press charges against him and the police dept for allow him to enter my home without notifying me after he left my home the first time when neighbors called. But he threatened me that he would jeopardize my state govt job. I am afraid of him and his evil ways. My friends say take him back so he can give you ur money back then throw him out w the police but I don’t want to even see him. What should I do? He stole all my money for my car and property and savings, I’m completely broke and carless. Can you help me with advice????

    December 4, 2015

    The two links in the article dont work, thank you

    December 5, 2015

    “We recognise that as children we were powerless but as adults we are not and if the trauma is in our body, it is ours – regardless of how it got there and therefore is no other adult’s responsibility.”

    I read Alice Miller’s tiny book “The Drama of the Gifted Child” (the gifted child is gifted with empathy, and often, trauma and abuse from years of family dysfunction, because this kid can take it. You know how to take punishment). I recognized myself in this book. And this is terrifying because I had to realize that I was were never properly loved and cared for and there is a huge hole inside which I was grieving without even knowing what it is that I lost. Who can get their head around not having been loved as a child? And No, we didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t our fault. But that isn’t enough for dealing with the residues.

    I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 22 years. I always felt that something was wrong, but could never put my finger on it because there were periods of the N just simply being a wonderful partner. Like Melanie I read and researched and got therapy and did yoga and tai chi and prayer and every other practice I could find that might provide the key to ‘getting it’ and moving on but I was always set back to this gnawing hole, where the N would abandon his promises and turn from Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde and destroy the good stuff we built up. I tried and tried to figure out what was my part in the equation. I was half dead from trying when I discovered an affair and that just about killed me on top of everything else. Because it only gets worse after awhile.

    Ok, so then I left him taking my high school aged son with me, and I had lost everything- our home, our business, our savings,- the N had it all. And after his psychotic breakdown when the mask slipped and he knew that I knew, three months later, my son felt sorry for him and moved back in. So at that point I really had lost everything. Plus I thought I was going to lose my mind. And I had relied on my intellect to take me through just about everything. Then somehow I heard the word narcissism and googled it, and there was a terrible sick feeling of recognition. It really is a key diagnosis. You can’t treat an illness without the right diagnosis. And I knew then that my illness was being in the non-relationship part of NPD.

    After much scouring of the net (this was in 2012 after I’d left and lost everything) I found Melanie, read everything, listened to all the shows and decided she was the real deal- “money back guarantee” clinched it for me, and I got the NARP program!) It seemed like a miracle. I worked my ass off in the program and my understanding deepened, not only about the N, but about my family dynamic and what was missing there, and what was missing in me. We must start to nurture ourselves. This is very hard to do because we SO want someone else to do it (as it ought to have been done years ago when we were children). It’s like I was crying out to be comforted- and that word “comforting” I don’t think it had ever been spoken in my household. We had been brought up to be stoic and tough. (that’s Catholicism for you). Oh how I longed to have been the sort of person who has been brought up with love in a loving household (which is what I had striven for in my own marriage and why I couldn’t give up on it for so very long a time).

    OK, so I was getting better with NARP, and I trusted Melanie, and I had begun to construct a higher power for myself. Melanie recommended Joe Dispenza’s book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” and so I ordered it. Read it. Scoffed a little at what seemed to be such simplicity but I was at the bottom- so nowhere else to go but Up. I did the excercises, I followed a meditation program, I even bought his meditation CD’s. Within three months of practice i had the job of my dreams (one I hadn’t even known existed prior to that) and then after two years of court horrors and all my savings, I won my divorce settlement. Then slowly my children started to come back into my life. Out of the blue I was offered an apartment in a safe housing development. My life opened up in ways I could never guess at. And it still is. I’ve been working NARP now for three eyars- I do the modules whenever I get that sick confused feeling- usually it is provoked by some ‘behaviour’ by the N, or some N-like beahviour coming from elsewhere. I’ve been working Joe Dispenza’s meditations for a year and a half. Quantum science may be another word for Faith, or the power of imagination, or channelling- all of which are probably based on what we now call quantum science.

    We can heal ourselves. We can birth a new world. This is how it feels after you start to heal- if I can heal me, we can heal a good part of what ails the world, and in fact, I now work in the field of international development and sustainability.

    Thank you Melanie, for pursuing your work in the face of poo-poohing. The Dalai Lama said that Western women would save the world. Maybe we can.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 6, 2015

      Hi Becca,

      many of us were not properly or healthily loved simply because our parents were coming from their own versions of being brought up with the practicality of “survival” where very little emotional intelligence counted.

      Truly when we release all of these traumas and fill up with Source we just “are love” and we can then also be filled with compassion for those before us who were not healthily loved either – who may never find the ways to transcend beyond those wounds of emptiness and neglect.

      Our True Self is love Becca, we just need to shift ourselves back to connect to that – then there is no “hole” inside anymore – but yes it does that work.

      This is so wonderful that you have worked so hard at turning your breakdown into breakthrough by doing Module work with NARP. And so, so true we have to grow up those parts of us who want a parent and do so by fully partnering ourselves.

      That is fabulous that you have been working with Joe Dispenza’s meditations as well … and I still believe from what you have written that there is still some more trauma/ devastation in your body to face and release with NARP – it is great you are “building forward” – and once you release that pain (much of what you have touched on in this post) you will break VERY free.

      Because … when we leave it there … it can still bubble up and bite us and shackle our ability to become true radiance and joy (True Self state).

      It is so worth digging it all out to become this …

      Having said this Becca you are doing SOOO well – you are an inspiration to yourself and so many after suffering such a long term N relationship – and should be so incredibly proud of how far you have come 🙂

      I agree with this expression of the Dalai Lama, it is our shift into the feminine principles of Oneness which will bring us all together healthily in love, community and support. One person self-partnering and healing at a time.

      Thank you for your post.

      Mel xo

      Good Day Michal
      December 7, 2015

      thank you from me for making this description of how it has been for you – there are segments that have been same for me – the realizations – I am in overjoy as much as I can be for someone else when I hear about such possibility becoming reality – thank you for pinning it down, I benefited in motivation and inspiration for taking myself back on totally immersed without feel sliding – why not to dive truly deep!
      Big Warm Hug

      January 12, 2016


      Thank you for a wonderfully insightful comment here. I have been working Melanie’s programs for about a year and a half and it literally has saved me. I still struggle with the anxiety and the fear, because I am still embroiled in a heated custody battle with my Ex N. All along the way though, I have found that when I am doing the modules and releasing the fear and pain in me, THOSE are the times when the Ex will slip up, or some *miracle* will happen that turns the tide in my favor when I have needed it most, through the countless hearings and conferences and issues the N has put me through. The times I have allowed myself to feel the fear and let him have control over MY state of being, that is when I have NOT done well in court. It really is such a truth that you can’t bring the justice and light to you when you are operating from a state of fear and negative victimhood.

      I have our divorce TRIAL coming up in just over a month and it is so very hard not to be afraid when so much is at stake. But reading this blog article one more time and especially your comment becca has given me the vital reminder I NEED right now, to amp up my modules again so I can release my pain and fear and come from my place of truth and of empowerment again. I know that if I do all will work out as it is supposed to and the universe WILL partner with me as long as I partner with myself!! So THANK YOU Melanie as I’ve thanked you many times, and thank you becca 🙂


    December 5, 2015

    I just wanted to repeat this as it carries me through my own skeptcism

    “We swim in a vast sea of intelligence”

    December 5, 2015

    “Music of the Mind”: Prof. Darryl Reanney
    Written 20 years ago but still unsurpassed, in my view.
    I think your correspondent, Kirk, would get as much out of this book as any, because Reanney was a genuine scientist, a molecular biologist, beyond reproach … but one of a very rare breed of scientists who don’t baulk at the idea that our subjective experience of life is equally ‘real’, true, valid and important as objective measurables.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 6, 2015

      Hi Lucy,

      thank you for that recommendation – I will get it and read! It sounds wonderful.

      Mel xo

    December 5, 2015

    Love this Melanie and thanks to Captain Kirk as well!

    December 6, 2015

    I cannot afford the program at this time, i need to do finish a term paper today. I cannot stop thinking about my ex of 2 months now narc. I am going totally crazy with obsessive thoughts despite all my therapy etc,,,,,,,for years
    I keep breaking contact one way or another email,
    I guess my peptides are totally screwed up, i need peace of mind so bad and the meds are not helping much,,,,,,,

    December 7, 2015

    Take a look at True Divine Nature /Matt Khan on YouTube … I have found his method of taking everything into your own heart so healing.

    Good Day Michal
    December 7, 2015

    I have placed one comment over the radio talk already but as Being visual I like to read same time as listen so I receive for me more from my own experiences. Having said this this series part brought – resurfaced this very familiar “raising water” – feeling (it is a good feeling) of this being the most thrilling thing for real me – I remember in the time of my own psychotic brake down I was laying somewhere totally dissociated and what felt as “waves of consciousness” were passing through me – I was so paralyzed after abuse -I lis my whole mind function – that I could not face people to express anything – the world I knew totally collapsed – totally. In that phase (i never spoken about it yet – this article resurfaced it) I really believe because I allowed to be totally broken down – no boundaries there no defenses – I became one with the flow of the field – this was like some drugs – same time because I never been in my body it was not the greatest experience despite it being phenomenal. Anyway I believe back then I seen within fractals – data of organic information coded in the earth – I was not able to express a thing and if I tried people were trying to medicate me – finally we are 5 years later!!!! I thought I would never walk – but I knew back then, I knew it in my soul – I swear, I knew it was all meant to be – so I can recreate – I was not respected by people at that time but I trusted my gut and the vision and I searched for those who carried the message. My mission was – I needed to re-partner with me to be able to create life experience – each time I would talk about it – well hehe it was not the right time for me energetically and I took me back to the nest of my trauma – my motherland, family house and the city I grew up in. I could not imagine lower vibrational space for myself as I left that space escaping my PTSD, trauma as a teenager – and last year which was then 2 years after come back to the root of my own conditioning I started being able to shift reality around me – I do not know If what I am trying to say is visible – in my emotional memory, coded in me – this village – eastern europe, so MUCH TRAUMA and victimization (it is all after a decade in living in London) it was like moving back to the 80’s – and I was seeing literally different realities in front of me vibrational – this was happening ever since the psychotic brake down. So I was here recreating it – for me it was the hardest place to come back to – the eye of the dragon – somehow I believed inside I can do it – my main faith was – it is not external what I react to what I perceive is a reflection of me – back then I deeply realize because of my trauma and abuse my life experience was based on my fearful reaction to reality with own self sacrifice – with sacrifice to own perception. Before I found Narp I can swear I was doing my best to work it all out – I did not mind being called mad anymore. But I needed some support as I was feeling alone. I remember first time with narp it was last year august – such a powerful hits – then I have had to allow another brake down.
    But anyway what I really want to say is and this is why I created this message is that it feels so right Mel, this opportunity, in this life, I feel I am on a right train with it – yes I got a lot work to do, my trauma also was deep deep deep – the relation to body – huge for me – but it is truly a pleasure now, now that I see this as opportunity of life and as life indeed – I am excited, yes I need help, assistance, support, feeling empowered and believed in – we do need to reach out, this is not an easy shifting – it is becoming real SELF <3 In my heart I am so excited – it hits home for me big time and I feel somehow I provided me contact with the best company, with the peeps all around the world who feel this music! It is touching!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 10, 2015

      Hi Good Day Michal,

      you have expressed it perfectly – that at the time of breakdown – when there is nothing left of “us” (the barriers separating us from The Field) if we surrender into that we “know” the Oneness.

      I can relate totally to your experience, because that occurred at the time of my breakdown – the most crystal clear clarity about “my life” that I had ever to that point known.

      Mine was “information” about “why” things happen the way they do … wow – yours was “energy” and seeing it!

      I can understand how that must have felt really quite scary.

      I am so pleased Michal you have connected with so many other NARP Members and that you are a part of this community and that there are many loving souls to help support you.

      Your life has been an enormous evolutionary journey.

      You are far too amazing not to be here and sharing the love and encouragement and specialness that you uniquely are.

      Mel xo

    leigh osbon
    December 9, 2015


    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 10, 2015

      Hi Leigh,

      our separation and healing from narcissistic abuse is not just physical, and I am so sorry you are going through such pain ..

      Most of us know it all so well ….

      True healing from narcissistic abuse is about emotionally healing the parts of ourselves that were hooked into a narcissist trying to assign them as the “replay” of our original wounds (childhood) in order for them to heal what we have not as yet healed within ourselves.

      When we take the focus off narcissists and finally engage in our own healing with effective tools (Quanta Freedom Healing) we heal … profoundly.

      And then there is no emotional hooks left with the narcissist whatsoever.

      Can you come into the last Webinar for the year at ? If not the NARP Program, and becoming a NARP Member is your way out of this agony

      I hope this helps

      Mel xo

    Guðmundur Ás Magnússon
    December 10, 2015

    My inner wounds are screaming at me.

    “You might as well answer the door, my child,
    the truth is furiously knocking.”

    ― Lucille Clifton, Good Woman: Poems and a Memoir 1969-1980

    December 10, 2015

    Hi Melanie,

    I do want to ask your opinion about this topic. I appreciate your work and I do believe that what you say in the article is true on a certain level of experience. However, lately my mind warps around this very question:

    If everyone is generating their own reality, and there is no abuse of power going on “out there” by someone else, because there is no “out there”, how do you explain people living in countries plagued by dictatorship, war, hunger, oppression? Can we say that all of these people are the source of their own reality and that they shouldn’t be called “victims”? I wonder whether the Quantum Law can really fit with my idea of Social Justice.

    I am more inclined to think that we have a sphere of influence, that we do create reality, but to a certain extent, cause others do the same and so we are always confronted with some sort of “out there”that does not depend on us, because others have freedom of choice and influence as much as we do. So we have great power, probably greater than we can imagine, but at the same time we don’t have any control. We are most certainly the centre of our world, but we are not the centre of the whole world. As we all make choices and create realities, I wonder how can that be that everything that happens to us depend on us. I am most inclined to think that we are responsible for how we react to what happen; rather for the event in itself.

    I don’t care about being a victim, and I am not afraid of recognizing my part in Narc abuse. I also think that on other abuse forums the victim mentality is pushed to such extremes that I felt intimidated. I am only making this point because I am afraid that this Law of Attraction type of thinking might create and spread a mentality where the weakest and most suffering people in world are seen and labeled as “wrong” and guilty, while evil people keep doing their own thing without being bothered and without any injustice being called out because “there is no out there”.

    You can already see this when a woman get raped and society says that she should have dressed differently instead of condamning the abuser. I might agree that a traumatized person can turn the trauma into an enlightement, but I also think that this type of belief can be manipulated into oppressing more and more people.

    I am genuinely interested in hearing your opinion.
    With much appreciation,

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 10, 2015

      Hi Lucy,

      Great question!

      It all depends whether or not you believe in past lives, bigger pictures and soul evolution journeys.

      As a past life regression therapist before I developed QFH, I have seen countless cases of exact reasons as to “why” people are having life experiences.

      These connections also are realized by myself and many people who work the NARP Program shifts.

      For example one woman who had been raped (this totally relates to what you are talking about) on several accounts (all unrelated random incidences) when regressed to find the reason, discovered she was a Chinese War Lord who had been sacking and raping villages – and her soul as a karmic balancer had chosen to be the victim of these experiences this lifetime.

      My own experience in Life between Life regression profoundly brought to me my own understanding of lifetimes of being not just abused but also being the abuser as my soul’s evolution – requiring life times of abuse … and that was the entire reason I was choosing what we know as “life experiences”.

      (All leading to this lifetime now of course.)

      I wrote about this in this blog article:

      Ok … now here is the part where we do have power and control and the ability to ascend beyond who we were being – regardless of what has or is happening.

      We have the ability to access the traumas / fears in our body and shift them out to become a different emotional (attraction) template.

      Naturally if we are in the thinking of “victim”, “it’s my fault”, “its all my doing” we are going to get mired down into self-rejection and even self-hatred and think the whole world is against us.

      The woman I know who had been raped many times, accessed her DNA guilt and toxicity about being a rapist in previous lives … released the trauma of rape in this life and then was no longer a match for rape .. she got to the bottom of it and ascended beyond it.

      After that she left a painful relationship, started healing in unprecedented ways, took on a journey of being a sexual abuse counsellor (her dharma) and was never raped again.

      I have myself in regard to “abuse” released not just the trauma of significant abuse, but also the guilt, pain and toxicity of me being a previous abuser in other lives (and I promise you THAT energy was even more traumatic than “being abused” in my body).

      I now live free of abuse and feeling abusive … and love, gratitude and joy for living has filled where those energies used to reside.

      Such is my personal life experience now – it is like living in a completely different universe than where “abuse” exists. It doesn’t cross my personal life path.

      The collective picture is this … our planet has been plunged into huge amounts of separation, fear, pain and judgement for centuries …. it is no wonder we have all suffered lifetimes of these devastating emotions (as roles of “perpetrators” and “victims” trying to exist with massive terrorised survival programs running) and we have been unravelling and healing them through many incarnations in the soul purpose of “waking up” and coming home to the truth of Who We Really Are – love, truth, Oneness and authenticity …

      Which is NOT the False Illusions that have been inflicted on us which have torn us apart with False Beliefs about separation from ourselves, each other, a Higher Power and the whole.

      Each soul knows exactly what it has chosen in order to try to bring the journey of Unity Consciousness back home. And there is no way to anchor in that light unless we can resurrect it from deeply within the darkness.

      Unless we get to the very truths that are going to set us free, one soul at a time, we will stay stuck in the illusions of trying to fix or change something “out there” instead of tending to our own soul’s evolution.

      That has never turned out well …

      Look at our world.

      Part 2 explains a LOT about this!

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

        December 10, 2015

        Thanks for your nice reply Mel,

        this is all really interesting. It didn’t occurr to me that the link between the personal level and the collective picture might be past lives experiences. While I intuitively grasp the truth of Quantum Law, I have difficulties believing past lives. Maybe I am even a bit too scared to dig too much into it, because just this life time seems so much to deal with… But it logically makes sense as extension of that idea.

        So if I got this right, the very ideas of “victim” and “perpetrators” in spiritual terms would be sides of a same coin leading to evolution life by life?… Therefore in this idea of soul journeys then there is no place for blame, because it is all about fighting a fundamental darkness that no one is immune from, right? Not sure I got it 100% but kind of.

        I know it might be off topic, but if the evolution has to happen soul by soul then how can we make sure that in this lifetime we are fighting injustice? In other words how can one reconcile Politics (in the higher sense of the term) and Spirituality? is that even possible? I know it sounds way more phylosophic than an average question but this stuff is important to me. I see where you’re coming from, but the idea that there is nothing we can do collectively to make the world better and it’s all up to the individual makes me kind of sad. I do believe in solidarity. When I see political manipulation I’d like to be able to do something about it. When it comes to manipulation in my own life I know I have the power to do something about it, but when it’s collective it frustrates me even more. My life is not only about me and I wonder where does the collective power of change really lies.

        Thanks for your kind reply and for the article, looking forward to read part 2
        Lucy xx

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          December 10, 2015

          Hi Lucy,

          you are so welcome and I am so happy to have this dialogue here with you. Your questions are many people’s questions.

          Absolutely correct in that there is no room for “blame” … 100%.

          And blame (and shame) are such fruitless emotions that are self-annihilating – because our inner being takes it all on as “self” (It recognizes there is only “one” having the experience) – and that’s why the chemical compositions of those toxic emotions break us down – then causing us to be in The Field generating “more of it”.

          Also correct that in the earth experience we are not immune from the darkness, but we can up-level by releasing it and bringing in light – therefore evolving ourselves beyond pain, fear and judgement (darkness).

          That is how we will mid-wife “heaven on earth” here one person at a time.

          We bring it down through us as us … and generate more of it by being it (the light).

          That’s another great question regarding “fighting injustice” .. the answer is simple – be a “pro” movement.

          If you want to assist endangered animals create a sanctuary rather than go after poachers.

          If want to help the homeless and drug addicts … then do what Mother Theresa did instead of making it about a war on drugs.

          If you want to help people recover from narcissistic abuse, don’t go after narcissists and demonise them … instead up-level their previous victims to be their True impervious Selves (which is what I do).

          There is no way Lucy you can be mired in the toxic emotions of a problem and be a generative source of the solution.

          Just as there is no way the intense saying “No” to something is ever going to do anything more on the Quantum (true) Level than feed it the energy to push back and exist even MORE as real.

          That “no” to something is saying “yes” to it!

          The more we detach from what is not working and focus on generating the love, Oneness, healing and up-levelling of what does work … the more we create Unity Consciousness, healing and evolution for ourselves (a raising of consciousness – which the emotions of injustice / righteousness NEVER is) … and then … by being the change we want to see in the word we can inspire and illuminate others to do so as well.

          Then they also do GREAT things ..

          Anti-movements are never great things – they just set up wars and more fear and pain.

          They set in place FIRMLY exactly the things we don’t want to exist.

          Look at the state of our world and when you understand Quantum Law you can see exactly why “pushing back” has never worked – and never will.

          Only transforming of consciousness ever will.

          And again – it all gets back to “one person at a time”.

          Mel xo

            December 11, 2015

            Hi Mel,

            I really appreciate you talking to me about this and it is really helpful.

            Your idea of collective pro- movements is brilliant. A Great point. Being involved in social struggles I do see very clearly the ways in which the most belligerant people, even defending right causes, sort the exact opposite effect, and it disappoint me so much. So thanks because this is something I will think about a lot. Although I wonder whether negative feelings such as “injustice” or anger are the force that might create light if channeled the pro- way, so that I would not cut them off altogether because that would still not be Love -unconditional acceptance.

            Another thing you said made me think a lot – the fact that saying no to the negative is like saying yes. I do experience this very often in my life. I have always been since I was a child in a constant struggle with my negative emotions and vulnerabilities, wanting to be “clear” of them. The more I grow up the more I realize that pushing that away doesn’t help- my life started to heal itself only when I acknowledged that I am vulnerable and flawed. I suppose that the step further would be channeling that energy into self-love but that is where I am struggling… What I do see a lot in self-development or la-of-attraction movements though is that they refuse to ackwnoledge the pain, the vulnerability, saying something like “just skip to the positive!” and for as much as I believe in the positive, that just doesn’t work for me. It makes toxic emotions stronger. It keeps the inner fight going on Because I don’t feel listened, and acknowledged. So it is really a fine line between acknowledging the negative and being swallowed by it…

            At the same time, I feel that saying “no” sometimes is necessary, is setting boundaries, like when you say “no” to the narcissist, which doesn’t mean you go after him, but that you are turning your attention elsewhere. That is also still a “no”, in a way. But maybe is a different “no” from the “no” of hatred and resentment?

            The reason why I am asking all of these things is that Narc abuse brought up – besides a tremendous amount of pain – the need to question my political and spiritual beliefs. I don’t think I am even remotely close to finding my answers but this kind of dialogue helps.

            Before I realized I had been abused, I barely perceived Evil around me sometimes. I thought that it was all my fault about everything, that my love and efforts could change every situation, basically I didn’t even acknowledge other people’s responsibilities, because everything depended on me…So I wouldn’t be able to detach from toxicity because I was not even recognizing it. When I uncovered the abuse I felt like I had been living amongst unicorns. Toxicity exists, people do evil. I strongly believe in balance, so I think that I needed to open my eyes and see this. It was a stage. Now that I’ve passed that stage, though, I am just left with the feeling that there is no love around and there is no hope. I know for a fact that it is not true, but my heart is shut down. I want to be open again but I am scared of feeding myself again with the illusion that “everyone is good after all”…and misjudge people again and get hurt. I don’t know how to open up again and still protect myself, but I have made the decision not to date until I will feel unconditional love for myself.

            Sorry if I sound confused…Maybe I am 🙂 But I am trying to embrace that and stay open instead of feeding myself with more beliefs just to give myself some sense of security. Even if it feels like floating a little bit. I hope I will eventually find what I can believe in with all of my soul, body and logical mind.


  • Melanie Tonia Evans
    December 11, 2015

    Hi Lucy,

    you are so welcome, as I said I am really enjoying this conversation with you.

    I’m glad you can feel the truth of “pro” movements.

    I do believe initially the feelings of “injustice” can be propellants, but not healthy or helpful ones unless transmuted into inspiration and positive energy and action.

    I complete agree with you re Law of Attraction not being a helpful model … that is in its “surface understanding”. There is no way we can heal anything emotionally within us by ignoring significant trauma trapped in our body.

    That is like trying to drive a ferrari into the garage when a rusty old wreck is in its path – and this is the major reason why most people don’t have success with L of A, is because they never cleaned up original wounds and tried to create a “new program” over the top – and then inevitably defaulted back to the old inner programming playout with life … (which is what belief systems do – supply their validity with Life to the letter).

    In fact trying to just “push through” with positivity can drive people crazy – trying to force subconscious survival programs to let go cognitively when they are refusing to “buy it”.

    Hence why true healing is about going to and releasing those traumas energetically out of our subconscious and THEN having the space to put new programs in.

    The word “No” is a true healthy boundary if it does not have emotional trauma connected to it. If it has emotional trauma connected to it – then there will be disgust, anger, belligerence, shame, fighting back, obsession and a host of other e-motions (energy in motion) statements that simply keep it going in one’s energy field and life.

    In stark contrast, if we have released the associated trauma and reprogrammed it cellularly – then our “No” is calm, no charge on it – more like a “you are not a match for the truth of my life goodbye”, and a release into a much greater freedom as a result.

    See the INCREDIBLE difference? And that difference comes through only one means – getting the connected trauma out of your body in order to BE a true and healthy “No”.

    The truth is … how you were operating previously … “it is my fault” were to do with your original wounds from childhood that you have not cleaned up yet – and then this was always going to draw other people who are not yet “whole” – who also were carrying unresolved inner wounding.

    Do we believe in “evil” – or do we believe there are soul contracts going on with people who are A.I.D.s (Angels in Disguise) making conscious for us our unconscious so that finally we can heal beyond our previous limits and wounds?

    I prefer to believe the later – because I had had enough of living a life of fear that simply co-generated more fear outside of me to match the fear already trapped in my body.

    And I did a lot of work with Quanta Freedom Healing to shift out of those old fearful “evil” paradigms.

    I agree all of this is a stage …. its about evolution.

    The feeling that “there is no love” and “there is no hope” is simply manifested thoughts and feelings matching the trapped wounds still in your body.

    Once they go you will not have them – because they are NOT True Self states.

    But here’s the thing – if you try to work all of this out cognitively Lucy you are shooting in the wrong direction – you can’t. And no matter how much information you continue to find, seek and amass you still will not have the cellular knowing and freedom of wounds that I am discussing with you.

    And the cellular embodiment is the only way to BE it as truth – anything else is an ongoing struggle fighting against trapped painful programs in your subconscious that want to shut you down and defend you against “evil” and don’t want to let go.

    Truly its time for you to do NARP Lucy, because then you will just start shifting beyond this confusion and pain and break free, with a set formula and process to release the trauma and reprogram your subconscious without the mind struggle.

    That is how all of us Thrivers healed and evolved ourselves.

    Mel xo

      December 12, 2015

      Dear Melanie,

      Thanks for your kind replies. More “Philosophical questions” under part 2, but here I want to share something personal with you.

      What you say makes perfectly sense to me.

      And it would make so much sense to my dad as well…He is a psychotherapist and always repeats that our life is run 99% by our subconscious programming and most of what we do are defenses. The thing is, although he seems to help a lot of people (he is very loved and respected), he can’t help himself. He is always preaching this stuff but in his private life this same stuff seems to become the “justification” of some sort of hopelessness and numbness (something along the lines of “because things are so mysterious and out of the reach of our logical mind then we cant never really fully solve it, and there are no answers”). How weird is that, this same paradigm can be a defense mechanism. As you can imagine, this makes communication with him very frustrating at times and influenced me a lot. Since I was a child, if I was having a negative feeling I wouldn’t receive “emotional care”and validation but instead a (at times useful, at times not) lecture on how, with my unconscious stuff, I was contributing. I am sure you understand how this (and other stuff) made me a very aware self-doubt and self-invalidating machine.

      As a result, most of the time I am aware of what is wrong with me, but I don’t know how to transform it. What you say resonates with me. I don’t know why I am telling you all of this, probably because reading this article I’ve realized that in my specific history the “responsability paradigm” of thinking is (in my perception) part of my wounding so it makes it so much more “meta” and difficult for me to embrace without having my defenses triggered and probably this is way I try to “think my way around it so much”.

      I am considering getting into NARP and honestly what is holding me back are just either financial reasons and the fear of getting more of the same wounding (self-invalidation) that I already had from my parents. Although I agree on the principles, what is Quantum all about in the practice of healing ? Maybe having a practical idea would help to make the step.



      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        December 21, 2015

        Hi Lucy,

        that makes perfect sense – I can understand totally how that would have set you up in a double-bind …a) it’s all about subconscious programming, and b) one of my role model exhibits how that means to be “stuck”.

        Come into my new Webinar Group and introduce yourself Lucy in the private Facebook Group, which is starting up next year (if you have a Facebook account) because there you will see first hand exactly how the re-programming is done – and this is before even having to make a commitment to NARP.

        I know you are ready for the journey and you will get a lot out of it.

        Nothing ventured nothing gained .. and truly what is soooo exciting now is we no longer have to stay stuck in our programming … and you will get to experience how that shift is done.

        Mel xo

    December 11, 2015

    “(…) whatever is real is ONLY ever what you believe is!!” = “Alice: This is impossible.
    The Mad Hatter: Only if you believe it is.”

    ― Lewis Carroll


    Elizabeth McHenry
    December 15, 2015

    Hi Mel,
    I’m just now becoming acquainted with these concepts of Quantum healing, and most interested in your program. But like Lucy, in the above comment thread, I’ve got issues concerning justice, some form of it, and bearing witness to profound atrocities. My twin sister was murdered, and who ever did it got away w/ it, because nobody gave a shit. Our sadistic N. parents played a huge part in it, and her complete mental collapse that led to it. I feel responsible to bring out the facts now, thirty years later, Because it was all so evil and vicious. I’ve been through a double helix of hell, plus N. Mother muted me w/ Ivory soaping to my mouth as soon as I began to speak. They were monsters, not parents. Philadelphia Irish Catholics still, are a breeding ground of sociopathy. I am hoping that both N parents are reincarnated as cock roaches….I made it out, became an artist moved to Cali and have written and illustrated two children’s books, both subtly deal with Narcissism/ and our running away story. Some stories must be told, even if they can’t be spoken…Quantum healing might be my best hope, and next step, as I deal with excruciating pain still, and every day. I watch your videos and read your emails- thank you for those and am considering getting Quantum Healing program soon.
    All best, Beth

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      December 21, 2015

      Hi Beth,

      I am so sorry you have had such a hard life journey with so much pain.

      Truly the premise is the same, it is all about getting free on the inside and then more freedom, love and truth comes.

      I can’t emphasize this enough.

      And the MORE pain and injustice suffered the more it is needed.

      MORE love is needed… not less.

      Your situation has been monstrous and I would never invalidate that for you … its huge … and please know for almost all of us, at some level, there was rampant injustice we had to inwardly resolve and get to peace on in order for any resolution to come.

      The inner “space” needs to happen for that – which is exactly what the Quantum Healing Model is all about.

      Wishing you great blessings and healing.

      Mel xo

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