You may be shocked at how you keep chasing after the narcissist even when he or she is treating you so badly.
The verbal and emotional abuse could be escalating and there may even be threats or realities of other lovers.
You know that you should pull away and stop going back in for more, but you just can’t seem to stop yourself.
In today’s video, we look at exactly why this is happening to you. As well as how to heal from this and be released from this terrible nightmare that is ripping you to pieces.
Video Transcript
Sexual attraction and addiction are very powerful things. A narcissist knows how to trigger that within you.
It can be very hard to understand why you may be feeling the compulsion to keep having sex with a narcissist, even though he or she is treating you horribly.
How can relationships be so compelling horizontally, yet so painful vertically?
This is exactly what we are exploring in today’s TTV episode.
But before we get started, I’d just like to thank all of you for supporting the Thriver Mission by subscribing to my channel, and raising awareness that yes, we can now heal from narcissistic abuse for real.
Okay, now let’s get going on today’s episode.
What is Sexual Obsession?
Sexual obsession is fraught with anxiety. The easiest way to think about this is that the urges are similar to those of any addiction.
The feelings of going without the connection with this person and sex with them, may bring up feelings of loss, emptiness, anxiety and even panic.
All of these feelings are letting us know that we have emotionally entered Wrong Town, meaning that this experience is not a True Self one. Our soul communicates very effectively to us via our feelings, regarding what is healthy or not.
Healthy union brings calm, solid and serene feelings of warmth and love. These are not the emotionally charged highs and lows that come with sexual relations with a narcissist.
One minute you are feeling the hope of being worthy and adored. The next you’re feeling anxious, insecure and abandoned.
I really want you to understand that connection and sexual activity with a narcissist, if intensely compelling, is an addiction cycle. As with all addictions, this comes with the high of the emptiness and the craving being fulfilled. It’s otherwise known as “relief”.
This is akin to a person who is nicotine addicted, craving a cigarette, and then as soon as they draw in the first mouthful of smoke, there is the self-medication of escaping the anxious feelings of not having nicotine.
Yet, truly, as myself and so many other people who were able to give up smoking with NARP processes discovered, there was something much deeper going on emotionally than just nicotine addiction.
Smoking was really an act of trying to fill up and numb out an emotional trauma that wasn’t yet healed.
And it doesn’t work. If we don’t get to the bottom of why we are emotionally craving something that is not good for us, temporary fleeting relief happens when we connect to it, yet the anxiety is never truly fulfilled and healed.
It is always going to keep coming back, much worse than ever.
Sex with a narcissist is the same.
The Narcissist – The Representative of the Unhealed Wound
All addictions have this incredibly insidious cycle, they feel like they are granting us relief, yet they are bringing us more of the same of what we actually need the relief from.
How do you know if you are stuck in this cycle? You know when you are feeling dire emptiness and anxieties when you are going without sex with this person.
Jeannie craved Gary and his touch and lovemaking. If Gary hadn’t contacted her for a few days, professing that he was out of town, Jeannie could barely function.
She believed that this must be proof of her intense feelings of love for him.
It wasn’t until she found out that he had been having affairs all along and then confronted him, that she discovered it was as if she never existed for him.
After feeling beyond broken, Jeannie decided to give NARP healing a go.
In her new healed up Thriver life Jeannie is now with Mark enjoying safe, comfortable and healthy sex. There is zero anxiety when she is not with him.
As Jeannie said, “Until I healed I had no idea what healthy sex was!”
In Jeannie’s previous life, as it was for me and so many of us, we were connected emotionally and sexually to the people who completely and utterly represented our unhealed inner trauma programming.
Let me explain.
Let’s say that you were brought up in a family with a parent who was unavailable to love you. They were too busy and stuck in their own stuff and ignored you.
As a young child you desired connection with them. You may have tried all sorts of things to be noticed, held and loved, to little or no avail.
Your Inner Love Code, since you were a young child consisted of, “the people I love ignore me.” This then becomes, “I am not valuable or worthy of love.” This then means that you will unconsciously try to prove yourself and earn love regardless of how people love you back.
As your now programmed Love Code, this represents the people who are attractive to you. The people who you feel the most chemically bonded to fulfil the prophecy of that belief.
It’s your Love Code. It’s your literal Inner Identity in regard to love.
Sex as an adult represents that unmet and unhealed need for connection as a child. The younger part of you seeking resurrection and healing is hooked on wanting the original role models to do it better this time, and choosing the same unavailable people and program over and over again.
When the Sex Feels so Good
Maybe the sex isn’t that great, however you feel like this is the best sex of your life.
The more chemically charged it is, and trauma bonded, the more heightened the sexual experience can be.
Again think “relief”. The union of sex takes away the agony of separation from it, which really means the separation from being loved and feeling worthy.
Sexual connection with a narcissist is such a powerful bond, that can be incredibly confusing and painful.
It usually ends in disaster, because the cycles of devaluing and discarding inevitably get worse. To add horror to injury, often the narcissist will throw other sexual partners into the mix, leaving you feeling even more devastatingly replaced and abandoned.
Why is all of this happening? To awaken you to understand what is really going on, and why you can’t stop getting into bed with a narcissist, even when it means selling your soul out and compromising your dignity.
Penny had the horrific experience of throwing herself sexually at her narcissistic ex-lover, to try to avoid being replaced and abandoned.
Never before had she lowered her values and standards so much as to offer herself sexually on a plate to him no matter how badly he treated her.
Things got so bad for Penny that she really thought that if she didn’t stop doing this to herself that she would die – that is how serious it was.
(Please know Penny is not alone, you may know exactly what I’m talking about.)
Penny was urged by other members of this community to start doing the NARP work to get to the bottom of why she had lost all her honour, dignity and rights and was behaving in this way.
Thank goodness Penny stopped pursuing him and turned inwards to start her healing. It saved her life.
What she discovered was the young hurt parts of herself that had experienced her father emotionally abandoning her mother, herself and her siblings, and her mother’s pain, devastation and emotional absence as a result.
Penny had literal inner emotional terrors about being abandoned, which had never been healed. Unconsciously the lure of herself sexually was her tool to try to ensure this wouldn’t happen again.
Penny got to the inner work and down to the business of doing NARP Module One over and over again to clear out all of that old trauma.
She experienced profound relief. She stopped thinking about her ex-lover and all urges dissolved away. Because she had resurrected her Inner Being to be a mature healthy woman, instead of a traumatised little girl, Penny felt repulsed by the thought of contacting him again.
The spell was broken.
I really urge you, if you are suffering from sexual compulsion with a narcissist, to feel into your life in the past.
Does this person invalidate you and abuse you in ways that are familiar to you? Is this person distrusting of you in ways that remind you of how you were distrusted, and your boundaries were violated in the past?
Do you again feel like you’re having to prove your worth and value in order to be loved?
If you don’t know what exactly it is that you need to heal, please rest assured that if you do become a NARP member, that NARP bypasses your logical mind and takes you deeply inside yourself to find, release and reprogram the exact trauma that you need to heal.
You don’t have to work it out!
Your Sexual True Self and True Life
I have no doubt that great sex, otherwise known as ‘making love’, is the highest expression of Heaven on Earth. This is when two people can melt into each other in total surrender, becoming an explosion of joy and bliss infinite times greater than the individual parts of themselves.
There is an opportunity – within orgasmic conjoining – to know the true meaning of ‘Oneness’.
This Oneness is true “in-to-me-see”, the ability to completely be ourselves and “naked” with another.
This takes inner healing and development. It requires the willingness to face our unhealed previous business and heal it.
Maybe we have been trying to get love and connection in all the wrong ways.
Maybe we are trying to be the “incredible lover” so we can keep this person from really knowing our fears, our inadequacies, and the parts of ourselves we feel they will reject if they did find them out.
I know that this is really confronting stuff. I also know the glory of breaking through from all of the illusions and obsessions regarding narcissistic love, to get to the other side.
Namely, real, calm, loving and supported lovemaking with somebody who you can be truly naked with.
As well as a durably sustainable relationship with somebody who you can trust and build a life with.
The narcissist is never going to be this person.
If you are ready to embrace the healing and development necessary to get to this level then I’d love to help you.
You can start this journey today by clicking this link.
And please know, with what’s going on in the world right now, with coronavirus, with all of my programs and healing, you don’t need to leave your house.
You don’t need to go to any physical groups and you don’t need to travel to therapists.
You can do profound and revolutionary healing in the comfort and safety of your own home. And you are also connected to an incredible Thriver Healing global support network that has your back at any time when you need help.
Okay, so I hope that this episode has really helped you, and I can’t wait to answer your comments and your questions below.
Oh. ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!
Thank you. I have lots to think about today now.
Is it that the narcissist is so removed from their true self that they will never see this, and start healing themselves from their trauma?
To them it never happened?
I tried so very very hard to help my ex partner.
Textbook narcissist, alcoholic (7 days a week blackout drunk), complete alcohol fulled meltdowns 5-7 nights a week, “I hate you, get out of my life, go away, I can do SO much better than you, I don’t love you” and more, constantly gaslighting me, a harem of ex’s and other men she would text talk to, most of the time locked in the bathroom drunk, but would show me messages from them and taunt me with them.
Complete denial the next morning that that ever happened.
Will she EVER connect again with her true self and heal? Or go through the rest of her life like she is?
I loved, and still love her so very much.
Or am I addicted and so trauma bonded with her I’ll never get over her and move on, and it’s not really love at all.
I’m really really struggling.
Thank you so much for your help and time.
C.
NARP is super helpful! I highly recommend it!!
What’s also been helpful for me is to make two lists: WHAT LOVE IS and WHAT LOVE ISN’T. Getting clear on this may help you to know that what you’re getting from the narc ISN’T love. Best wishes!!
So sorry you are going through this nightmare ,Clint .
Rest assured that you aren’t alone .
You will get over it once you stop obsessing about a woman who doesn’t exist .
I know what it means to put all of your heart, dreams and expectations into the dirty hands of such a broken human being .
Melanie has been wonderful to me with her 16 days recovery plan .
Still craving sex with my abuser two years after the breakup . Still craving the destructive passion and the fantasy of a life together forever . 14 days so far with No Contact and this feels so empowering.
Looking forward to experience to NARP healing .
Be strong !
Hi Clint.I believe you are trauma bonded. I dull struggle with feelings for my covert ex. I’ve even been out a year, after five years together. I still need to do a lot of work on myself. Heres to healing!! ❤
Hi Clint,
you are very welcome.
There is such an ego construct around the narcissist disowned and deeply damaged inner self, that to remove the buffer of the False Self could feel like emotional annihilation.
This is why narcissists don’t go there. I am so sorry to say that this doesn’t change.
Absolutely, Clint you will be trauma bonded and addicted, and true recovery is about untangling and healing from that.
I can’t recommend NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp enough, to be able to get past all the mental constructs and blocks and trauma programs, to go deep inside and release the trauma that is generating the addiction and bonds.
That truly Clint is the way out of the struggle.
To check out NARP further please come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to experience how NARP can help you.
Sending you strengths and healing and please know how welcome you are. I just hope that I can help you further.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Clint. I feel like I could have written your post myself(although I am female and he is the one acting like this). I know how you are feeling. Melanie is right its an addiction for you. You want to help this person no matter what because you are a good person. But shes saying the truth some people you cannot help. I believe she is right that the way r they act goes back to childhood and they simply do not know how to love with love alone because they didn’t receive it in the normal way before. I hope you can fight to break the bond. Its he unknown though isn’t it. Is this person better than being alone? They make you feel like they are. Anyway I hope you can be strong.
Great video, Melanie! The only times I felt connection with the narc were when we were having sex. Now I see clearly that I was getting nothing from the him–it was always me feeling ME.
Huge revelation!
Hi Pamela,
I’m so pleased you had this revelation!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Great and freeing insights. I was in a two year, writing relationship with a prisoner in whom I started to detect narc behavior with classic progression. Even before any physical meeting with this person, I was warned it was becoming addictive and went no contact. There is no trying to explain yourself to a malignant narcissist, or reveal it to them what you know about them. After all the dust settled, I felt a profound sadness and compassion for him, in that, he might never know his underlying wounds and far more damaging, will go on and on from woman to unaware women. I started this healing back in 11/2019 and you are right , now we have plenty of time and privacy at home to journey into and through and out of the bondage. My question to you, Melanie, is: Why, psychologically speaking, do most male narcissists progress so predictably through the stages of their denial: love bombing, getting supply, devaluing their supplier, discard and the smear campaign?
Hi Mary,
I am so pleased they resonate with you.
Mary, they go through this process because that is what a damaged unconscious person does … females do it identically too.
Wishing you all the best in your healing journey.
Mel 🙏💕💚
I have never had trouble leaving my narcissistic husband behind once he discarded me. It did take the discard for me to open my eyes to what he really was, though. Once I saw that, I never, ever desired to go back into a romantic/sexual relationship with him. In fact it explained why I stopped having intimate interest in him i the first place. For many years, I had blamed myself for losing interest, being fickle. I do have to co-parent with him, though and one thing I do notice is that I feel that all-too-familiar tug inside my guts when he tries to engage me in conflict or tries to get me to react defensively about my values. That is deeply embedded in me, for sure and its that place that I continue to work on in myself. He has greatly helped me.
Hi April,
that’s fantastic that you didn’t feel the pull to reconnect.
It’s also wonderful that you have the self-awareness to know what to work on to empower you.
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Before making my escape, alcohol, cigarettes, verbal abuse made being intimate just another part of the living nightmare. I would sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to just get away.
Each day I thank the universe for my freedom and ability to breath air that is not contaminated with the evils of NPD.
As Melanie teaches, abuse is abuse. It comes in different forms, but bottom line, the same.
So you have to get out as soon as possible. I can honestly tell you it is worth the effort to escape.
Don`t let another wasted day go by
Peace
Thanks for sharing this video! It’s only been one month since I was discarded from my Narc Ex of the past 2 years off and on. I’m starting to understand now what I have been up against! A losing battle.. definitely. Thank God I found you! I feel Soo much better now, I thought there is no way anyone else has experienced this rollercoaster I have been on! Prayers and Hugs to you all! You are Awesome Melanie… And thanks again.
Hi Kelly,
it’s my pleasure.
I’m so pleased I can help and sending you copious amounts of love and healing.
Mel 🙏💕💚
I was diagnosed with Stage III Colon Cancer and then finally left my Narc one month later.(After many chances and forgiving of black outs, cheating, lying, and overall disrespect) I didn’t know where I would live, how I would pay my bills, or support my daughter and myself. To this day, it was the best choice I made. I smiled as I walked away, a real genuine, heart felt, freedom of a smile. And I am still smiling.
My last Chemo is one month and it would have been really easy to allow them to stay in my life and keep feeding me lies and abuse and neglect and then deny it and and and and. Going through CANCER alone is not fun nor is it very realistic but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I got my self respect back. I live in my truth every day. As a result, everyone around me finds their truth now.
~Lala
Hi Lala,
You are so inspirational and incredible, for showing such strength.
What an empowering journey for you.
Thank you for sharing your powerful story with all of us.
So much love to you and your daughter.
Mel 🙏💕💚
👍👏🌅
After reading this article, I now see I was using sex with anyone to validate my existence as a teenager. I felt like a failure if I couldn’t seduce someone and get them to take me home for sex.
My Narc husband and I had magnificent sex on our 1st date and for many years after. After 20 years (I’m sure he was with other woman then) he was never home or available for love making. We tried to replenish our relationship but the sex became rough and I allowed it just wanting to please him. He, strangled me, raped me a couple of times and shattered my cocix. He would never lie with me afterwards either. The last 12 months he refused to have sex with me, no matter how much I tried to persuade him. I left him 4 months ago and crave his affection. I now know why. Melanie articles are enlightening on so many levels and bring great awareness to the patterns of behaviour and the causes, that I have had since childhood and was not seeing how these are still with me now and I need to heel them. I really need to do the NARP program. It’s daughnting going back to the pain of my childhood but I’m ready to commit to healing and living the life I was meant to!
Hi Joanne,
I am so sorry that you have gone through such abuse. My heart goes out to you.
I’m thrilled that you can see the truth and you know what you need to heal. NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp will help you so much, and please know that with the Gold membership you have unlimited 24/7 access to the incredible member’s forum who are there to help guide you with your healing.
You have so much support there for you!
I love that you are ready to breakthrough and claim your True Self and True Life.
Abundant love and blessings to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Mel
This was a painful read for me as my experience with the ex narc was a real cycle of violence. I had not had any kind of relationship before getting involved with him so being innocent fearful and scared was some kind of turn on with him. He had a female friend who also happened to be a narc triangulate and initiate very unhealthy and destructive behaviour which only made things worse for me it was actually the opposite of what was going on or was right. I was trauma bonded and could not break free until I was finally discarded and humiliated by him and invalidated by the female narc. As you stated I had that horror soul gut wretched feeling inside during the abuse but due to trauma I could not listen to what was right inside after being made wrong by both of them it was horrible. I have been alone for a long time from the aftermath of what happened. I am going to get the NARP it just might work. Resentment must be a byproduct of it but I wish to get clear.
Hi Antoinette,
big hugs to you sweetheart for what you have been through. Of course, this would have been devastating as your first relationship.
It truly is your time to heal, and please know how much NARP helps, as well as the support that you will receive as a Gold Member from the incredible NARP community.
Your healing is so about being able to release the trauma Of abuse and go free from it, and then experience the fullness of your True Self. This is exactly what NARP producers more powerfully than anything I know.
So much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Mel ,
Thank you , this is ‘spot on ‘.
Hi Colin,
I’m so glad it resonated with you.
Bless!
Mel 🙏💕💚
This has hit the spot for me. Especially the Abandonment Terror wound from my childhood. I am going to take this opportunity to do the NARP programme as I am at home, live on my own and just ended another Narcisstic relationship. I know enough to get away, but seem to be repeating the scenario. Don’t want to go down that road again and had made up my mind to be single, as I am 63, but would love to have a gentle loving relationship with someone I could trust.
Hi Glynis,
Abandonment terror is BIG … and can be so powerfully derailing.
That’s great it’s your time to heal and that you have time now to commit to NARP http://www.melanietoniaevanas.com/narp
Sending you love, power, healing and breakthroughs
I look forward to having you with us in the NARP Community Forum!
Mel 🙏💕💚
I think i keep going back as part of morbid curiosity to see who the new supply is…
I imagine that he will be ‘all that’ with the new one, and that its only me he treats so badly, throwing in my face little clues as to the new supply. I discovered from his clues that she is a member of a ladies AA meeting i belong too, not only has he leveraged himself into her bed but also into her business, working with vulnerable people in a step down facility. She is unaware
of this predator.
Hi Julie,
I can completely understand that.
It will be such a relief for you to break free from those feelings and traumas of ‘being replaced’ and then being able to connect with true, healthy, committed love.
It’s the inner work that will help you identify the deeper emotional reasons as to why you are still bonded, as well as break you free from it.
My highest suggestion is to come into my free webinar so that you can learn about NARP, and unravel this and start to heal
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
I hope this helps and sending you love and strength
Mel 🙏💕💚
I’m not sure what to do. I’m married 30 years to an outwardly successful man but a cold and distant one inside. Throughout our marriage he’s withheld sex for years at a time. We have 2 children – both now in college so being at home with him is a very lonely place. Friends and co-workers see more clearly than I how this has affected me: low self esteem and confidence; anxiety & depression. 2019 was a horrible year. I caught him in multiple affairs; my son was so devastated he attempted suicide and my daughter has allowed herself into bad relationships with at least 1 married man. I couldn’t, or didn’t leave, because I have been the stay ay home mom – and a very good one at that. But no money or my own and frankly just plain fear keeps me here though I’m disgusted by him daily. I’ll click the narp link; I’d appreciate your thoughts as well. Thank you, Janice
Hi Janice,
my heart goes out to you and your children.
Janice hun the solution is to heal on the inside to take back your spirit and soul, and then, with this shift, start to open up to the possibility of multiple solutions.
Truly Dear Lady, once you start doing the inner work, all of Life can start to support you too.
I promise you with all of my heart that there have been many people in this community who were stay at home Mums, who hadn’t worked for decades, who once healing with NARP http://www.melanietonievans.com/narp were able to start generating work and a new life completely independent of their spouse – and reinvent their entire possibilities going forward.
I hope that this can help grant you hope.
Sending love and strength to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Do people not heal themselves from licentious narcissists? There’s one thing they need accountability!
This has been beautifully done: Melanie!
Thank you KW,
Bless!
Much love to you
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hey Mel
I have been listening to many of your podcasts and I like what I hear. This podcast about sex and addiction seemed spot on although I wonder if the addiction for us can be things other than sex. For me it seems to be more of being wanted and cared for than the sex, having that emotional and physical connection.
It’s funny but during the last period where she successfully hoovered me back I explained this to her. She had been holding out on me for quiet a while and asked me about it. My reply was that going long periods without sex wasn’t enjoyable but it wasn’t a struggle either, that there were more important things to me than sex. I left her startled and confused, about a week later I walked away. This was about two months ago and the longest time we have gone without contact, without her attempts of hoovering. I now wonder if sex is what she believed her trump card to be, the only card she believes powerful enough to control men. She is an extremely attractive woman to the point I seen a married man crash his car while staring at her while his wife and kids were with him 😂. Did I inadvertently take her power away by saying that?
Hi Work in progress,
Absolutely the addiction is emotion-based, even if it is about ‘sex’. The addiction is about feeling loved, approved of and/or secure and survival … for all of us.
Work in progress, we always take an N’s power away when we take our own back.
Until you are not obsessing, they still have power over you because your emotional energy is still connected to them.
The inner healing is the end game – because that is how it stops- by healing the parts of you still hooked in.
I hope this helps put this question into perspective for you.
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi darling Mel,
This post basically describes my life. Not only with lovers, but also friends. I keep seeking out people who are not there for me when I need them, ultimately leaving in an ongoing cycle of uncertainty and isolation. My last narc boyfriend is now in jail, meaning he can’t get to me, so that has been a blessing because I’d definitely would have tripped up again otherwise – the connection with him is strong, also devastating. In a recent letter from jail he admitted he had never been faithful to me, going as far as to say it was his right to be with whoever he pleased whenever he pleased. So yeah, all of this post resonates with me.
I’m now in a place where I’m taking steps to put boundaries in place with friends who have let me down while also recognising that these people simply don’t have the resources to meet me where I’m at and let them go … with some people, I’m making the choice to walk away, and others, I’m forcing myself to ask difficult questions, and figure out if we have a future. This is a brutal process. I’m terrified most of the time, and still make mistakes. For instance, I had a long conversation with an old friend the other night, and after it, I just felt drained. I’m no longer angry with her, i just know it’s best for me to walk away, as she’s not someone who will be in my future.
My ex is on my mind again, and yes, the thing i miss the most is the sex … and it’s crazy to think that i would go there again given the chance, but if i’m being honest, i know i would … thankfully, that’s just not an option because of his situation. His sister asked me to send him some money in jail a few weeks ago and I did because even though he caused me pain, I can’t bear to thing of him suffering needlessly …. is this me being kind, or poking an old wound?
I hear everything you’re saying, and know I still have a ways to go. I’d never have made it this far without you. Thank you dear Mel.
x Tasha
Hey Tasha
There are so many of us out here it’s ridiculous, all of us abused by cluster b personality disorders or the traits there of. Please don’t feel alone, please don’t feel isolated. In my own experience it’s nothing more than tunnel vision and trauma bonding towards your abuser. If your as kind hearted and caring as you say than believe yourself and believe your better than that.
Self isolation is sometimes a really good thing in my experience anyway. I am still in isolation but not so I can put all the focus towards the cluster B’s in my life but so I can sort myself out, my wounds and the reasons I allow myself to be tormented and abused so bad, the reasons I trusted her lies and not myself. I also found it really helpful during this time to evaluate myself, the good attributes within and the things I need to work on. I have found that listening to motivational speakers can be a worthwhile pastime rather than focusing on trying to find approval or acceptance from our abuser.
I just finished reading some quotes that may help you.
The greatest deception is the truth we are unwilling to accept
The quality of the things we have in life is most important
Ignorance will surely lead you into pain and suffering.
Where you go from here is your choice and only your choice. Just know that your giving away something really good for a false hope of him becoming good and I find that thought really sad.
Hi Tasha,
yes sweetheart it is a really big process doing this. Kudos to you for having the courage to be the generative force of the truth of your life.
It’s really is a wonderful reprieve that he is in jail, and this gives you the time and the opportunity to truly turn inwards to heal you. That is the real way that you will get emancipation from this.
Tasha, I can’t recommend NARP enough http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp to help you bypass the logical mind, go straight into your Inner Being and find and release the traumas that have been keeping you hooked up, not just to him, but also in these painful relationship programs.
Then with the modules in NARP you will be able to shift out this trauma, reprogram it and emerge not only free from the urges to reconnect with him, but also evolved beyond these painful patterns.
If you want to learn more about NARP, then please come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp to experience a Quanta Freedom Healing directly within your Inner Being to understand and more importantly feel what NARP can do for you.
You are so welcome Tasha. I hope that this helps and sending you oodles of love and strength.
It is your time to heal
Mel 🙏💕💚
Dear Mel, you hit the nail on the Head for me with the phrase “the Spell is Broken” as i felt like i was under a Spell while with the N, things like, how can i ever see my family or why can’t i drive my own car ,or why cannot i Spend my own Money, Crazy when you look back. My Ex slept between two long body pillows and wore a hat and would reach out at night and shake hands, (sort of a So near but So far thing i Guess) funny really as the sex was boring anyway Ha, i thought i would try the Pillow thing just as a laugh ,well you can imagine the reaction the Silent treatment for a Month
which was kind of nice actually when i think about it, i became very sick while living with the N, your body starts to break Down under such Constant Fear, but as Soon as i went No Contact my Health improved immediately and now i am Healthy again, i Cannot recommend Your NARP Program enough as the results were instant and i’m now in Better Condition than iv’e ever been and Really enjoying life to the full, Blessings Col
Hi Col,
Gosh that does conjure up very funny images!
It’s so true that when we are around sick people we get very sick. I am so pleased that you went No Contact and that you have been working NARP very successfully.
I’m so happy for you Dear Man and thank you for your inspiration to many.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💕💚
Hi Meline,
Thank you for sharing this video. I was hesitant to watch it because I know it would bring reality to what I was just dealing with in my past relationship. We had just broke up before the covid, and I was a mess! I some how came across your videos and I’m thankful I did. He totally discarded me when I caught him lying about another woman, and yes he would use sex as a tool. I always felt empty..after a 10 month relationship it was hard. I look back now and realize how much he wasnt capable of love. He told me he might not love me, that he didnt ache for me and that he didnt get excited about me. But would make me believe it was the best sex he ever had. But he even once told me the best sex he ever had with his ex is when she thought he was cheating on her. He brought his ex up all the time. I realize I was just being used as the companionship he wish he had with his ex. Thank you for your videos and help 🙂
What modules do you recommended to help with this?
Hi Alisha,
If ever in doubt work on Module 1 or the Source Healing and Resolution Module. Also Module 2 and 9 can be very effective for disconnecting.
Also please know that if you are a Gold NARP member that we can offer you help and suggestions, always, in the Narp Member’s Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member
I hope that this helps
Mel 🙏💕💚
I was married many years to a narcissist, and found the courage to leave. After some years I became engaged to another “I’m always right and you aren’t” guy. I have not been doing the things I enjoy and am good at. Also, I Have stayed away from dating. Constant criticism is not the way I want to live. I also have two male relatives who treat me as unintelligent, although they know better. They do not love me and I need to accept that.