Melanie Tonia Evans

Recent Posts

Pathological Jealousy And Narcissism – Why You Can Never Earn Their Trust

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  If you have ever experienced the pathological jealousy of a narcissist, you know it goes a long way beyond being merely insecure. In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain to you the difference between the narcissist’s levels of pathological jealousy and what we would term as “normal” levels of jealousy, and what the steps are to recognising it. We also go through how narcissists play out pathological envy ... and I'm going to explain to you how I released myself and healed from the pattern of jealous and controlling partners. (more…)

 

If you have ever experienced the pathological jealousy of a narcissist, you know it goes a long way beyond being merely insecure.

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain to you the difference between the narcissist’s levels of pathological jealousy and what we would term as “normal” levels of jealousy, and what the steps are to recognising it.

We also go through how narcissists play out pathological envy … and I’m going to explain to you how I released myself and healed from the pattern of jealous and controlling partners.

Narcissistic Fathers – Healing Yourself And Protecting Your Children From A Toxic Upbringing

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world. Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries weren't able to develop – because you didn’t have any. It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval ... and ... when you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became all about him, about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy. (more…)

 

The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world.

Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries weren’t able to develop – because you didn’t have any.

It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval … and … when you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became all about him, about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy.

7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Going no contact with a narcissist, and holding it, is excruciatingly difficult. Firstly, there are the terrible feelings of loss of leaving someone, and a life, that you poured your heart and soul into. And ... maybe ... if we have just tried "that", or if he or she had done "that" ... that it could have worked. And then there’s the chaotic thoughts in our head trying to see into the future to predict ... What are they going to do next? (more…)

 

Going no contact with a narcissist, and holding it, is excruciatingly difficult.

Firstly, there are the terrible feelings of loss of leaving someone, and a life, that you poured your heart and soul into.

And … maybe … if we have just tried “that”, or if he or she had done “that” … that it could have worked.

And then there’s the chaotic thoughts in our head trying to see into the future to predict …

What are they going to do next?

Are Narcissists Evil? A Thriver TV Halloween Special!

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  The costume might be a bit of fun, yet today’s Thriver TV episode is a really deep, interesting and serious one. It tackles these questions that so many of us have asked: What is evil? Is the narcissist evil? We all know the feeling of ice in our veins and the horrible disbelief we feel, and the dread and unspeakable trauma when connected to a narcissist. We know it feels intensely evil. It also feels like a creepy psychic phenomenon – not unlike the Dementors in Harry Potter who can literally suck your soul and lifeforce from you. Is this undeniable energetic force that is going on “evil”? (more…)

 

The costume might be a bit of fun, yet today’s Thriver TV episode is a really deep, interesting and serious one.

It tackles these questions that so many of us have asked: What is evil? Is the narcissist evil?

We all know the feeling of ice in our veins and the horrible disbelief we feel, and the dread and unspeakable trauma when connected to a narcissist. We know it feels intensely evil.

It also feels like a creepy psychic phenomenon – not unlike the Dementors in Harry Potter who can literally suck your soul and lifeforce from you.

Is this undeniable energetic force that is going on “evil”?

When Does Passive-Aggressive Behaviour Become Narcissistic?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  I’m really excited to write this article, because this is a question that many people ask: “Is this narcissistic or is this simply passive-aggressive?” So what is passive-aggressive behaviour? And how does it cross the line into being narcissistic … or is passive-aggressive behaviour simply narcissistic anyway? Wikipedia states it as being this: Passive-aggressive behaviour is "a type of behaviour ... characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation." I truly do believe that all narcissists operate in passive-aggressive ways, because being passive-aggressive means this – rather than being open and honest about what that person is feeling, or working in with people honestly, or asking for what is required personally, they express displeasure through actions instead. (more…)

 

I’m really excited to write this article, because this is a question that many people ask: “Is this narcissistic or is this simply passive-aggressive?”

So what is passive-aggressive behaviour? And how does it cross the line into being narcissistic … or is passive-aggressive behaviour simply narcissistic anyway?

Wikipedia states it as being this: Passive-aggressive behaviour is “a type of behaviour … characterized by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation.”

I truly do believe that all narcissists operate in passive-aggressive ways, because being passive-aggressive means this – rather than being open and honest about what that person is feeling, or working in with people honestly, or asking for what is required personally, they express displeasure through actions instead.

How To Beat A Narcissist Without Needing To Expose Them Or Make Them Admit They Are Wrong

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  Narcissists trigger us into more things than just despair and feeling powerless. We feel mad, violated, taken as a fool, manipulated and lied to. In fact, there are very few things that make people as angry and devastated as feeling deceived and betrayed. Of course, we want to stop their terrible behavior, yet the ways we try to stop them hurting us are often the exact ways that hand them more bullets to shoot us down with. So … in this video, today, I am going to teach you how to beat the narcissist at their own game without needing to expose them or make them wrong. And the irony is, you will expose them and you will make them wrong – but that is NOT what you are initially setting out to do! (more…)

 

Narcissists trigger us into more things than just despair and feeling powerless.

We feel mad, violated, taken as a fool, manipulated and lied to. In fact, there are very few things that make people as angry and devastated as feeling deceived and betrayed.

Of course, we want to stop their terrible behavior, yet the ways we try to stop them hurting us are often the exact ways that hand them more bullets to shoot us down with.

So … in this video, today, I am going to teach you how to beat the narcissist at their own game without needing to expose them or make them wrong.

And the irony is, you will expose them and you will make them wrong – but that is NOT what you are initially setting out to do!

What To Do When The Narcissist Wants To Be Your Friend

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  After severing ties with a narcissist it's likely that they will have tried to maintain contact in some form ... They may have even put the question to you - do you want to stay friends? This can be a very difficult offer to say no to, after all, you most likely shared parts of yourself with this person that you have never shared with anyone else. And there were those times that they made you feel so special and understood. The thought of saying "No" and letting this go forever can be incredibly daunting. Trust me ... I've been there. (more…)

 

After severing ties with a narcissist it’s likely that they will have tried to maintain contact in some form …

They may have even put the question to you – do you want to stay friends?

This can be a very difficult offer to say no to, after all, you most likely shared parts of yourself with this person that you have never shared with anyone else. And there were those times that they made you feel so special and understood.

The thought of saying “No” and letting this go forever can be incredibly daunting. Trust me … I’ve been there.

5 Ways To Rebuild Your Self-Worth After Narcissistic Abuse

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  After being narcissistically abused, your self-worth is stripped. And why wouldn’t it be when every insecurity, fear and inadequacy you have felt about yourself, others and life has erupted and blown up in your face? After being narcissistically abused, not only do we doubt that we are lovable, desirable, capable or adequate, we even doubt our ability to stay vertical, survive our wounds or live as a human being on this planet, in a way that is not tormenting beyond belief. If we thought we have had doubts about our Self before narcissistic abuse, now it has gone to unthinkable levels. Today, in this episode, I want to grant you 5 ways that you can start rebuilding your self-worth after narcissistic abuse. (more…)

 

After being narcissistically abused, your self-worth is stripped. And why wouldn’t it be when every insecurity, fear and inadequacy you have felt about yourself, others and life has erupted and blown up in your face?

After being narcissistically abused, not only do we doubt that we are lovable, desirable, capable or adequate, we even doubt our ability to stay vertical, survive our wounds or live as a human being on this planet, in a way that is not tormenting beyond belief.

If we thought we have had doubts about our Self before narcissistic abuse, now it has gone to unthinkable levels.

Today, in this episode, I want to grant you 5 ways that you can start rebuilding your self-worth after narcissistic abuse.

Why Are Narcissists So Entitled?

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  If you’ve been in a close relationship with a narcissist you will have experienced the heartbreak and horror or realising it is ALL about him and her. The narcissist's demands (that must be met) are unreasonable and even unliveable. The invasions into your life, things, thoughts, and even your emotions are incredibly violating. The narcissist seems to truly believe that they are unique and special, and they need to be treated as such. (more…)

 

If you’ve been in a close relationship with a narcissist you will have experienced the heartbreak and horror or realising it is ALL about him and her.

The narcissist’s demands (that must be met) are unreasonable and even unliveable.

The invasions into your life, things, thoughts, and even your emotions are incredibly violating.

The narcissist seems to truly believe that they are unique and special, and they need to be treated as such.

My Most Debilitating Narcissistic Abuse Hook (And How I Healed From It)

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans
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  A lot of people believe I am self-assured, confident and have created a great life, and that is very true. After my Thriver Recovery from narcissistic abuse, I am blessed to be living a life that at one point I would have considered an impossibility. But this wasn't always the case ... What I am going to share with your today, is information that I have never shared with this Community before. I believe this, not only is this healthy for me to be authentic with you about, it may also help free you from shame and pain as well. So ... today I'm going to share something about my past, a dirty secret that I was once terribly ashamed of. (more…)

 

A lot of people believe I am self-assured, confident and have created a great life, and that is very true. After my Thriver Recovery from narcissistic abuse, I am blessed to be living a life that at one point I would have considered an impossibility.

But this wasn’t always the case …

What I am going to share with your today, is information that I have never shared with this Community before.

I believe this, not only is this healthy for me to be authentic with you about, it may also help free you from shame and pain as well.

So … today I’m going to share something about my past, a dirty secret that I was once terribly ashamed of.