Facing The Truth Of Narcissists Will Set You Free

I’m really eager to share today’s video with you, because it will provide you with so much clarity on how our beliefs regarding relationships keep us trapped in abuse.

We want to believe that people are loyal, dedicated, and honest.

We convince ourselves that others are supportive and caring and that humanity is about having other people’s interest at heart.

So, we’re shocked and in deep denial when we find ourselves in a relationship with someone who purposefully exploits and destroys other people for their own gain. And our head spins when we realize that these toxic people suffer zero moral consequences for doing what they do.

Today’s Thriver TV episode is all about explaining to you how you need to face the truth to be able to protect yourself from narcissists. How refusing to accept the facts, when they are clear as day, will only further destroy you.

The truth truly sets you free – watch the video (or read the transcript) to learn how to get on the path of graduation, liberation and empowerment.

 

 

Video Transcript

Today, I want to talk to you about our expectation that the narcissist is meant to love us and how this belief can keep us trapped in abuse.

Before I start, if you are new to my information, if you’ve had enough of the pain of narcissistic abuse and toxic and disappointing relationships, then make sure you subscribe to my channel, press a notification button so that you are notified every time I do a new release.

 

Our Beliefs Regarding Relationships

Let’s get started with today’s very important conversation. I want to start off with looking at our beliefs regarding relationships.

Good people believe other people are meant to be good people. We believe things like blood is thicker than water with family and spouses and love partners are supposed to be loyal and dedicated and honest. Systems and authorities are supposed to be supportive and caring. And that humanity is about having other people’s best interests at heart.

Now, here is the huge problem with this belief. Narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths don’t have other people’s best interests at heart.

In fact, they purposefully exploit and destroy other people for their own gain and they actually suffer zero moral consequences for doing so – they don’t feel guilty. A narcissist, a sociopath or a psychopath, ­ – I don’t want you to get too hung up on the differences between those three – because suffice to say, other people are objects to them to be used for their own gain.

They don’t suffer a moral dilemma for emptying out and using other people to prop up their own superiority or gain resources or notoriety. They have no problems with using other people and discarding them when they’re emptied out or even possibly destroying them to fulfill their own agenda.

Not only are they capable of doing this, they’re also masterful in twisting facts and gas lighting and doing double speak and lying to make you go along with your own demise.

If you try to resist this, the ante will be upped with more insidious coercion, anxiety-inducing threats and devaluing, threatening you with discards, and also smear campaigns that turn other people against you.

These people exist in all walks of life. This is a hard thing to face, but it’s true and we need to face it to be able to protect ourselves against it. They could be a family member, they could be in your personal and your professional life. They could be a spouse, a love partner, a friend, a therapist.

You may not like this fact, but it is a fact. Facts only destroy you when you refuse to accept them. That’s what we mean by the truth sets you free. This is only possible when you open your eyes to facts, empower yourself and know how to create your life to be impervious to narcissistic people and systems rather than choosing to not want to look at it and be stuck in unreal expectations of narcissistic people.

I really want to say it time and time again, there are more inherently good people in the world than narcissistic people. I know that might be hard to believe, but it’s true. Often it’s the narcissistic people that have to convince you that humanity is evil. It’s not. Narcissistic lies and behaviour are. Humanity is beautiful.

So how do you know and navigate the difference?

Well, first of all, we have to stop our involvement with narcissism and we have to stop rolling around with it and trying to force it to be a certain way because it just isn’t. We can only do this when we change our expectations, our cognitive dissonance, and the dream of what we do want, which of course is, this personal system has my best interest at heart, just because you think it should.

The truth can only set you free when you choose to identify something or someone is narcissistic and start seeing it clearly and without fear – choose your own light. So it’s like being a light standing in the darkness as your light.

 

Letting Go Of Dependencies

Let’s look at how to choose you and your light.

Letting go of dependencies is such a powerful part of this because so often we live the cognitive dissonance of expecting a narcissistic parent, lover, friend, boss, therapist, or situation to have your best interest at heart … even though what you’re experiencing is pain, anxiety, and confusion.

You’re in there experiencing it and choosing to have this experience because you have a dependency on this person or this structure, and you’re thinking, “I need my mother or father’s approval and love. My child has to love me and accept me. If I don’t make it work with this person, I’ll be alone again. I don’t want to have to go through a divorce and lose the home. I need this job to survive to put food on the table. If I don’t comply to this situation, I won’t be able to operate.”

When we do this, and I want to just be really straight with you, we’re in even more than cognitive dissonance – we’re selling our Soul.

In my life, when I made decisions from lack, limit, fear, and clinging on, despite everything screaming at me how bad things were and that they were getting worse, all the things that I thought I would get or save by hanging on got stripped away anyway.

But worst of all, I kept losing more and more pieces of my Soul. To the point where I really didn’t even want to live anymore. When I stopped saying, “This is meant to work out, just because I want it to. And I’m sure he, she or they do really care about me.” Then when the real-life proof of my escalating anxiety, shattered ability to function, greater restrictions and declining health kept happening and I got it and I instead finally said to myself, “This is not right. This is decidedly abusive.”

When I decided to honour and listen to my Soul and detach and pull away to heal myself, first of all, just to get clarity and stop touching a stove that kept burning me, that’s when empowerment came and my life took off in incredible ways that I could never have even realized were possible.

I now unapologetically honour my Soul. It doesn’t matter if it’s a family member, lover, friend or any system that you can imagine. If it’s not based in honesty, partnership, authenticity, transparency, and care, it’s not my reality.

I’m not here to agree and go along to get along, I’m here to be true. Such is the spiritual warrior path of graduation, liberation and empowerment when we choose our Soul over dependencies on others and hand away our power to stuff that’s not our true covenant to Source as an unlimited universal oneness.

We step into universal oneness and unlimited resources of support when we align with the truth of who we really are. Who we really are is a fractal, a part of Source expressing unlimited potential when we align with what is true and right with Source and with our Soul.

 

Not Wanting To Accept Truths

So often we’re handing our power away because we don’t want to accept truths. Many lovely people can barely get their heads around that nasty people and things exist and that they pretend to be what we trust, but they can be self-serving exploitative people in situations.

There are people who are after control, resources, human dominion, and even the chance to bask in other people’s suffering as a result of their pathological superiority and their twisted realities.

A lot of people can’t get their head around that and this is a big problem because these people, like my former self, will keep trying and trying to fix, amend, and love people or acquiesce to try to appease these people in their situations, despite getting destroyed in meantime. It’s an even greater stretch for so many lovely people to accept that the very people and situations that we thought existed to love us and look after us could actually be twisted, nefarious and abusive.

It feels really personal, it feels like it’s going to shatter our very identity because we feel we need these people and things in our life for it to work. We believe we can’t exist without them. Yet, can you see that this is your greatest gift to autonomy to, without conditions, stand as the light, face things squarely, identify who and what does or doesn’t have the resources to be the light. As well as choose appropriately, align with what does and move on from what doesn’t.

We’ve all been programmed to not look at what is horrifying. You may have seen the movies, and I heard this analogy the other day from somebody who is a public speaker and I won’t mention their name, but it was really fascinating and it’s so true. He was saying that in movies we’ve watched when people are hiding under the bed or there’s a boogieman under the bed, we don’t want to peek out because if you peeked out from under the bed, the assaulter might grab you and get you so don’t look and that way you’re going to be safe.

In other horror movies, it’s so disturbing, ghastly and devastating, complete with blood curdling, spine spiking music that you can’t look, you don’t want to look because it’s too much.

We have been programmed to not want to see the truth. We don’t want to acknowledge it. We all knew inside, with narcissistic abuse, the shocking truths that we didn’t want to know. We ignored them, we hid from them, and we even defended them, we even attacked other people that tried to point them out to us because we didn’t want that version to be true.

But not facing reality doesn’t mean it goes away. Reality does grab us out from under the bed and reality when we don’t want to look at it – is devastating to our very core. As we all discovered, there was no avoiding these truths in the end and so many people, including myself, said, “I wish I’d faced this, I wish I knew.” We didn’t want to face it.

The reason that what unfolded was so painful and so impacting was because we avoided the truth. We refused to look at and accept the truth for so long and what was doubly devastating was it related to the very people in our world that we’ve been programmed to trust.

Again, as an empowered autonomous being creating and generating your true life, your Source real true self in life – Source and healthy Life Force is your sustenance and it’s unlimited. It is not a singular or even a group or even a system of a false Source which is, without you realizing it, even though you know it, using you as their own exploitive prop. It doesn’t matter who or what or how significant the personal situation is in your life, your True Self and Source is unlimited.

So to have a great life, no matter what, you have to accept the truth, because then you can start aligning with and living the results of your real life, honouring your True Self.

So how do you live in the truth?

 

How To Live In Truth

Inner healing is so powerful because it helps you get clear on what truth and real values are, and I’m going to give you some really powerful takeaways right now about some fundamental truths. This is what it is.

Any functional relationship, as a baseline requirement, has to have care, transparency and honesty. Somebody’s words with actions that don’t match the words is not caring about you, it’s not. People who shame you, twist blame back onto you, marginalize you and invalidate you, don’t care about you. Someone who hides facts and smears you when you want answers and proof to things, is not a good person and is not to be trusted.

They’re lying to you, and they’re violating you for their own gain. People who lie are violating you and they’re exploiting you because if they had nothing to hide, that wasn’t damaging to you that they didn’t want you to find out, they would just grant you the truth openly on the table.

The truth always comes up to the surface, and it does, and when we were in narcissistic relationships, the truth came. We started to get the information about what was going on. The dots become so obvious; they are overlapping.

If we’re handing power away, we get talked out of the truth, yet we know the reasons and the excuses are so lame and ridiculous that your head spins. That’s why you are in those ridiculous arguments with a toxic person because what’s coming out of their mouth is ridiculous.

Toxic people don’t make sense. They lie a lot. They have to. They can’t tell you what their true intentions are because it’s all about their own gain and control at your expense. Toxic relationships with people in situations are marked by – this is how you can tell – shifting goal posts, false promises and unverifiable facts spoken as if they’re true. There are excuses and blame throwing when things don’t add up or don’t turn out as promised. And there’s doing the same things over and over and over with the same bad results and not growing, healing or improving so things get worse and worse and worse.

Even if you have been roped into thinking that you’re to blame, which of course you do, it’s so important to pull away, let go, pull away, get space, start healing, and then clarity will come. The most powerful path is to make things right between yourself and Source to do that inner work, to connect back to who you truly are. And reset into the ability to create a life that makes sense. Toxic relationships don’t make sense.

Then when you become a generator of sense and what’s sensical, which means healthy, caring, and safe, you will know what you will and won’t accept. Honesty, care and transparency are the basic fundamental rights of any relationship, no matter who it is with. And you no longer try to make people behave in this Soul fundamental way, which is a basic necessity. You’re not trying to get somebody to fly to the moon and back. Care and honesty and transparency are baseline requirements, they’re nothing special.

You will know who doesn’t have the desire or the capacity to meet you at that fundamental level. Basic human fundaments cannot be taught. They either exist or they don’t. If a Soul is rotten, it’s rotten – period. It’s not your responsibility to fix it. It’s your responsibility to pull away and not be infected by it so that you can stop the rot spreading into your passions, your missions, your loved ones and that which is dear to your heart. Don’t let it infiltrate your contribution to this planet as the spirit in a human being that you are.

 

In Conclusion

My biggest message for you today is face the truth squarely. Yes, it will be painful. Yes, you will need to recover and heal. That’s all a part of the spiritual warrior’s journey and it’s the Thriver’s journey. But know you will get out of the fire that is burning you alive, come out the other side and finally be set free. Then you will know what your life is and you’ll start generating it.

In the Thriver path, it’s my greatest mission to help you achieve this, and to do that, I so know that it’s about releasing the binds and the dependencies, the cognitive dissonance and releasing the trauma of the horror and the shock and the fallout of accepting what’s happened to you so that you can claim your graduation liberation and your true Thriver’s life.

And NARP, with that deep inner healing that you can do on your programs and your trauma to live free of that, is the most powerful way I know how to do it. For those of you who have been working with NARP and you want to further catapult into a life free of narcissistic abuse and really anchor into your power to create an incredible life, check out the Empowered Self Course, it powerfully helps you get there.

I hope this has made sense. I’d love to know how you feel about this. Where are you with still being stuck in those love bonds, to people that are hurting you or are you starting to accept the truth and come back to loving your Soul and honouring a life that works.