[breadcrumb]

Today I want to discuss a very important topic close to my heart.

Your expansion.

Rising to your Source Soul Potential promotes great health, true love capacity, financial prosperity, and the courage to authentically shine.

Sounds fantastic, huh?

It truly is … but …

Some others may not like it.

They may even call you selfish, trying to convince you that you don’t care about them – or that you have become arrogant and different.

Are they right?

Do you have the right to grow and heal?

 

Why Be Self-Fulfilling?

You won’t be fulfilled if you aren’t reconciling your inner world to become self-generative, which necessitates taking time out for yourself.

This is when you will look to others to β€œfill” you.

This creates dependencies with others to cope, survive and feel some fulfilment. Or maybe you have been hooked into others, trying to please them so that you can receive love, approval, security and survival from them.

If you are not healing, developing your inner and outer worlds, and expanding, you won’t be your best and healthiest to help inspire others, lead by example, and generate your Soul’s missions in empowered ways.

However, if you tap into your Soul’s potential, you honour others and all of life.

So why wouldn’t some people be happy with this?

Let’s investigate.

 

The Truth Disrupts The Norm

The most powerful component of your spiritual growth is authenticity– starting with being true to yourself.

Being lovingly honest and supportive, meeting your wounds, and replacing them with Source allows you to let go of the Person You Are (limited) to rise into the Person You Were Born to Be (expanded).

NARP grants these shifts.

By doing so, the veils of denial are lifted. You will start to see where you are handing away power and sacrificing yourself to fix others. You will see clearly where you tolerated abuse by trading your sovereignty to gain security.

And … you will start being done with it.

After Thriver Healing, we no longer want to give up our Soul’s truth by living in illusions. No longer can we ignore what is going on internally. There comes an urge to align – to do the right thing and stand for personal truth courageously, no matter the external results.

Rather than stay connected with someone who is not a match for our Soul truth of growth, healing, development, happiness, true healthy relationships, and personal opportunities that make our heart sing- we take a stand.

Of course, this creates conflict where others may fight vehemently to derail you and bring you back down to where they can control you.

You engaged with people within these patterns when you were stuck in beliefs and inner programs of past traumas. These patterns are played out by hurtful, exploitative, and manipulative people. These people represent β€œmore of” your perpetrators, with whom you always had unfinished unhealed inner business.

This equals being unconscious. We feel victimised, not free, when living in our shadows. We don’t think we have any choice but to continue these patterns. It’s so β€œnormal” we don’t even know that we are in a cage.

After doing the Thriver work with NARP, all those layers fall away. You awaken from this slumber with new eyes, feelings, and thoughts.

You start becoming conscious – knowing that you aren’t powerless and have a choice. You can generate your experiences regardless of what others are or aren’t doing.

How does this manifest?

You will say β€œNo” where you used to self-sacrifice by saying β€œYes”.

You no longer feel it’s β€œnormal” to hand your power away, allowing yourself to be mined for another person’s agenda, hoping they will love and care for you.

You are fast becoming a whole new version of yourself.

This terrifies others whose identity was wrapped into the β€œOld You”, triggering their insecurities horrifically. They can’t get you to take responsibility for what they need to look after themselves, and they can’t manipulate and hold you down for their own need to control you.

They may be deeply resentful that you will no longer wallow in victimhood with them and that you have left the toxic reality that they wanted you to stay with them.

(Victims take hostages).

Your shining can be such a terrible reminder of where they are not.

 

Not Hurting Yourself

If you try to keep everyone happy, you will be deeply unhappy. By pleasing everyone you deeply injure your own Soul Truth and pissed off yourself.

A deep Thriver truth is this – you will NEVER keep everyone happy, so you may as well be happy, then those who can share in your happiness (values in life) will join you.

Your happiness does not say, β€œI’m happy and hope for your unhappiness!” (That’s narcissistic!) Your happiness says, β€œI am showing you what is also possible for you if you wish to grow yourself to develop this too!” (That’s the Thriver Way).

I promise you if you are NOT pissing someone off, you are NOT being true to yourself!

Let me give you an example, very occasionally, people in the NARP Community Forum see others breaking through – glowing, expanding, creating and lashing out at the MTE team because they are not there themselves.

Suppose these people don’t start taking personal responsibility to heal (where we meet them lovingly and guide them with all we have) and wish to continue lashing out,Β then these people are dismissed and can no longer be a part of our Community.

It’s a healthy boundary.

We can’t help them because they refuse to help themselves. More than this, we will not hurt ourselves by trying to keep others who disagree with our values.

It’s the same personal and professional boundary I have in my life, which states β€œCome join me in mutual support, love and growth – or don’t. It’s your choice. If you don’t want to, I will let you go. The door is firmly closed if you start smearing, attacking, or degrading me.”

As a previous people pleaser, terrified of other people’s version of me – I now know the power of acknowledging my values and being true to myself regardless of what other peoples thoughts or actions.

 

Breakdowns To Breakthroughs

The truth is uncomfortable sometimes.

Especially to those who don’t want to grow, heal, and expand. I was there once too.

Victimisation means holding on to traumas that soothe and protect us, such as, β€œThis had nothing to do with me, and I was just the good person who was duped,” β€œPeople aren’t to be trusted,” β€œAll men are (insert the negative)” and β€œAll women are (insert the negative).” And the usual inner programs of, β€œI am not good enough / lovable/worthy”, etc.

To heal and grow means breaking down the old identity to make way for a new and much healthier one.

When some people see you shift, they feel threatened, especially when they feel you are β€œleaving them behind”. You are getting out of the powerlessness of the trauma matrix, and they are not ready to make that shift yet.

When healing and growing, you may be so excited and inspired by the results that you want to bring those who are important to you along with you, such as your spouse, lover, family member or best friend.

It could be shocking that these people resist, get angry, and even attack you. They may even smear you and accuse you of being crazy, a phoney, self-absorbed or even worse.

It’s heartbreaking. Maybe you haven’t actively challenged them, but your New Self simply can’t relate to them as your Old Self did.

What has happened here?

You are threatening their inner identity. They don’t want to experience the breakdown necessary for the breakthrough. They don’t want to face the truth – that their internal traumas continue to be the energetic fuel of their painful outer experience. They want to believe the β€œouter” is responsible for their life (including you), and they are not willing to courageously go inwards to tend to and heal their inner experience.

Much of, if not all, this could be deeply unconscious.

They aren’t ready yet to connect home to their Soul partnership with Source.

You understand because you have been there and would like nothing more than for these people to join you!

But people will only wake up when they decide to – and not before. If you stay attached, you will not only meet resistance but may also be vehemently attacked.

Here it is – after your breakthroughs, you are now on a different level and can’t fix other people. Your only true job is to be true to yourself.

 

Your Life Moving Forward

Not only do you have the challenges of working through your breakdowns to breakthroughs (which NARP midwives do so wonderfully) you also have to navigate the studies of some of your important relationships.

It’s scary, it’s heartbreaking, and it can feel so very lonely.

Maybe you have narcissistic relationships in your life. Narcissistic personalities don’t take the personal responsibility to turn inwards to work on their wounds and evolve their own Souls and will try to sabotage your attempts to get free from them. They may also lash out and punish you for starting to pull away.

(However, by standing in your power and taking back your sovereignty and Life Force, you will discover just how powerless narcissists are.)

Possibly you have been enmeshed with someone who is co-dependent, depending on you for energy, Life Force and power, rather than learning healthily how to generate that for themselves. If this person does not rise and start taking responsibility, you must let go. They, too, may cling, attempting to guilt you with ferocity.

It’s very usual to feel obligated to those you care for, who you know are no longer healthy to subjugate yourself for. Yet, by being true to you, you are being true to them, granting them the opportunity of personal growth and empowerment by example instead of continuing to enable them to be powerless and dependent.

By being true to you, I promise you that you will see others ready to awaken (as so many incredible people in our Community are) rise and join in with you.

As one door closes, many new positive ones will open. Growth, healing and expansion unlock your way to life trajectories and relationships you didn’t previously have access to, which are unlimited compared to the old, limited way of being. It also transforms the people around you with the capacity and desire to grow.

(You will especially see powerful and positive transformations with your children.)

Please know that there is nothing else to do other than being true to your Soul, rising into your True Self and True Life and generating more of the same in the world – with those who are ready.

You were born for this job!

 

In Conclusion

I want you to know that I went through the same when so many people left my life, and new people arrived. Many other members of the NARP Community have been through this, too, in fact, virtually all of them.

Most of us successfully navigated this with the exceptional help of Module 6 of NARP, β€œRelease and Heal the Need to Take Responsibility”. This helped so much with working out β€œwhere I end, and you start,” and was vital to release the co-dependent tendencies to fix people without guilt.

It also helps with empowering others rather than enabling them. (Great stuff to learn as a parent!)

For those of you who have worked through NARP and want deeper work on relief from co-dependency and to develop solid and healthy boundaries – I passionately recommend my Empowered Self Course as it has detailed specific Modules to work on Co-dependency as well as becoming a Boundary Beast!

You’ll love it!

I hope today’s article can help you greatly transition from toxic relationships into generating evolutionary ones because it is such an important piece in Thriving.

I’d like to ask you: Have you been struggling with this?

Have other people held you from healing?

Have you already started letting go of some individuals, or are you seeing some people start growing with you?

I look forward to your comments and questions below.

[mc4wp_form id="7704"]

Related blog post

Shifts Happen – Series 5 – Session 19 – Assimilating The Light

Read More

Thriver Talk With Kristy

Read More

Commments (42) + Leave a comments

42 thoughts on “When People React Negatively To Your Personal Growth And Healing

  1. I am always having to set staunch boundaries. People simply don’t value strength in character and often use me as their human diary.

  2. Spot on as always!
    With the help of NARP, once you spot the signs of someone using their victimisation to try to harm you, it’s easier to pull away from them sooner.
    As opposed to being continually emotionally wounded by them for years and finding it difficult to break free.

  3. I can’t thank you enough Melanie, for these priceless nuggets of wisdom you email weekly when promoting your program. The NARP modules have helped me considerably. My ex recently called upon me to assist him in recovery of his health issue and I discovered just how much I have healed, when I went to help him out. He set traps that I didn’t take and accused me of being certain ways which I calmly countered. My boundaries are clear, I’m no longer wallowing in over-sensitivity and not about to be pulled back into old patterns. I credit your program in opening my eyes to long-held captive patterns stemming from childhood into adult relationships. There are new people in my daily encounters and my life’s purpose is shifting. I went down in spirits after visiting him two days. Why? Because I fully realized how much I hoped he had changed. That’s the old pattern of denial on my part. He’s not going to evolve. And I only delayed my own progress by being codependent. But no more heartbreak, just new resolve with the tools you’ve provided to move forward! Your modules have made a big difference in how I think and respond. Thank you again!

    1. Hi Ms. Breakthrough,

      please know how welcome you are,

      I’m glad you are reaffirming your resolve. Keep NARPing and any last bits of connection will be flushed and even more evolution will enter your cells.

      You are doing a great job!

      Mel πŸ™πŸ’žπŸ¦‹

  4. Big time !! Feeling I just dont have a place to be me…Or who am I….?.just miserable,.struggle in my own 4 walls.. My home feels the safest.
    What is the use of this ” ME” ……..struggle to jump the next hurdle,I suppose,and ,frankly ,why bother….Past my prime!!….

    1. I’m feeling the exact same Fay how can we get out of this and lose co dependency when we are scared to leave the front door?

  5. This is great! I needed this reminder at exactly this time. It is counterintuitive to think that people don’t want what’s best for you, and so their negative and dismissive comments, or even abandonment can be very confusing. That old people pleaser, wanting to just give away my hard earned energy starts to creep back into my thinking. This leads me to start feeling like something is wrong with me.

  6. So far my circle is very happy for me. I think it is because most of them have been victims as well. As for everybody else, who cares what they think. Not me! I am having so much fun right now… skiing, traveling g, redecorating some of my house

  7. I have many β€œ friends” from
    Years back who seem to take delight in criticising me when I post certain things on line etc. i guess they are just unhappy people who wish they could be successful as I am ??

  8. I have had many times of letting go and falling right back in. I would justify because he is my husband and would use God. That he was ready to live for God and we would help people. It always hurt and I would fall in depression. I dont even remember how I came across your teachings but they have really helped me. I didnt even know these type of people existed, but thats my husband. We are separated and reading what you write helps me be strong.

  9. Thank you IDALIA and NETTY for you comments too. Tis reasurring to know and read your comments. Since LORENZO shared comments of experience ,a few more have come on board,with similiar emotions.
    Must say it is very heart warming to know others can share and encourage each other where they are at.
    Can be very lonely experienced,without each other.

    Hey! We are that FAMILY that can not only survive ,but Thrive.😘

  10. Narc ex husband, smear campaign started before he started planning to divorce me, started on my only child who was recovering from anorexia. She was so confused, scared to go against him, was scared to leave the house. He shifted money, forged my signature and refinanced properties, took the equity and replaced with debt. Announced divorce for ‘no particular reason’ – I found a digital trail as he didn’t sign out of my computer (no 2 step verifications in 2__6). When I found the truth, his personal trainer was employed under our Pty Ltd company name and he sponsored her to stay in Oz, and I got a lawyer, Narc said he changed his mind, loved me, wanted to ‘un-divorce me’ and ME to stop paying lawyers ( I had to go to court for part property settlement as I had zero access to accounts. From the moment I refused to stay married to him (so he had time to siphon off more assets) – he started the smear attack. My daughter and I were very, very close, then she was angry and hateful towards me unless I agreed to her demands (his). I did not yield, I stayed living in a locked room in the home for 9 months till the court made orders so I could afford to move out. I had an out of court settlement and did not persue the criminal charges for signature forgery as I was worried about my daughter relapsing. I asked my daughter time and time again where she would like me to live as if I was to be near her I could only afford an apartment, she told me ‘live anywhere you f_ing well like as I’ll never visit you and you’ll never see me if you leave (the house)’. So, I bought a house I wanted, some 5 hours away to start a new life, moved on my own, I knew no one in the town, zero. My mother had been ‘got to’ by the Narc and is one herself, she kept on and off supporting me emotionally and then telling me to go back to the Narc (he had been calling her I discovered. Then I found the Narc’s mobile bill (I downloaded copies as I was part of the company phone plan) and he had been ‘grooming’ all my family members on the phone – all but my sister.
    My brother supported my ex, my father supported my ex, my mum on and off, my daughter supported my ex. I moved near by to my sister, I met a new man, we fell in love, then out of the blue my daughter (who was with a boyfriend that her father didn’t approve of) wanted to visit me, she apologies, we got on fine, I was so happy, life was full circle. So, I had my daughter and my sister, and I tolerated my mother constantly passing on advice about how sad and lonely my ex Narc was and my brother visited me (but only when my sister was with me).
    Then I was about to become engaged, I hinted my sister thinking she would be so happy for me, she was not happy for me, my brother was invited to my wedding but was vile in a text just before- so I asked him ‘if that’s how he feels about me why would he want to attend my wedding?’ – so he didn’t. My sister sided with my brother and cut me off but turned up after no communication for a year -to my wedding. My daughter came to my wedding but had relapsed and was extremely anxious and I was not allowed to touch or hug her and I’d not seen her for a year and I ached to hug her tight.
    My mother ex-communicated me for 6 months leading up to the wedding, showed up, was distant and then in following days, in emails horrible and hostile. At the reception, my sister danced with me, hugged, cried, told me ‘it was all going to be alright’ (at my wedding) but I didn’t know β€˜what was going to be alright?’ so I assumed she meant with her and I. She left without saying goodbye, just disappeared and wouldn’t take my calls or texts, I was so confused. Unknown to me at the time, my brother and her were now aligned – my mother is divorced/ single, ageing and they wanted the inheritance split between them and to cut me out.
    Emails, calls, letters, texts go unanswered from my siblings. My daughter contacts me once a year for an β€˜update on my life’ to report back to the Narc, acts all full of love, then ghosts me just around Christmas when she hangs out with my family. My brother was given a country weekender at mates rates from my father, as access over the land/farm that had to sign over to my ex Narc for $ to buy my home. So now, Mother, Sister, Daughter, my father (when mum’s not there – divorced 40 years ago from mum) hang out at the weekender with my ex Narc and I’m on the out, for good.
    A friend near my mum drove past, saw the sale sign, my siblings moved my mum out of the home she lived in for 55 years, put it up for sale, and I don’t know where my mum is.
    All of this is the brief version, but basically, I have not one member of my immediate family in my life, I have been ghosted, my cousins are the only family I have -hours away since I moved.
    I miss my daughter terribly – but I now have set boundaries if she contacts me (so I don’t get pumped for info on my life to feed back to her dad – the Narc) again.
    When I tried to tell my mum what my brother and sister were up to regarding aligning themselves for money, my mum was hostile, senile, started mentioning her own divorce from my Dad, said her 20 year affair whilst married to my Dad – was now fiction! and the reason she doesn’t want to see me. Mum has altered history but the entire extended family knew and saw the affair; my sister, brother, cousins, grandparents.
    It feels at times like the majority of people in my life are all damaged and hostile or greedy.
    I have forgiven them to heal myself. I have let go and no longer hold expectation of a relationship with any of my family (all but my daughter in the future if she grows independent of the Narc – she lives with and she’s an adult).
    I am still in love with my new husband of 2 years, he is the most amazing caring, honest, man. We have mutual care, love, honesty and transparency. At times it’s lonely for us as we have moved 3 times to try and find where we ‘belong’. My husband has a small and geographically distant family. It’s just us and the dog, trying to forge friendships were we go, work, renovate, stay mentally and physically healthy.
    I am full of gratitude everyday, it’s what gets me moving forward.
    Hang in there everyone, breaking away from the Narc is the first step of growth. Remember staying where you are, no matter how nice the home, location, social contacts are, is the wrong place to be if it’s with a Narc to sucks your life-force from you and puts you down.
    Be strong, be yourself, it will ‘piss off’ many people that see you as growing and they’re not ready.
    You are a mirror to their weaknesses, or the healing they need to do. Dont give up. Every day just move forward, one step at a time, do just one item on your β€˜to do’ list.
    Some days in the beginning I was proud of myself just getting dressed, with washed hair and taking the dog out in public- I felt like a shell of myself, so fragile.
    There is so much more to life when you live your ‘best life’. I think I’m about 80% there. I still have to find where home is (when you can work from home and are not driven to an area for family or kids, it’s tricky) – my therapist says ‘home is where you feel a connection’ , not had that since the ghosting from my family but I know I’ll heal. So, before I move house again, I plan to heal my mind fully (stamp duty is a killer) and when do I really need to find a community I can adopt as my tribe – and forge some friendships and get into volunteering.
    Be brave, I know it sucks at times, but you’ll look back on your milestones and be sooooo proud of yourself, and your kid or kids or special someone, will see you lead by example.
    YOU ARE SIGNIFICANT, YOU ARE WORTHY.

  11. I learners about this at age 55 apron. Now I’ 60 with an estranged family – Bipolar sis and Narc Mom, who moved country without saying after I moved home from the US after 25 years to be with her at her older age. After 4 years of no contact except from some odd attempts, they now want my almost 80 old not nice to me mom, to be her nurse!! No way.. And all the people around me are flying of the handle if I ask to be treated decent. Like cancel if you don’t show up, or ask what my new job is. not making my birthday about you etc.. So Im in a hot hell situation right now where im alone and everyone is at war against me. It is so hard – I had to let everyone go almost. Why do they always pick on me? I now see it faster and run the other way but how long do I have to run and will people ever start treating me decent? Im not a pushover but seems like everyone think they are above me and I should behave like I do not matter and gets really furious if I claim my basic rights. I hope it will be better because Im kinda like scared to move on. Starting a new job tomorrow and hoping that it will be better. I will start with more of my needs in place but boss has already shown that there are not many boundaries, as she has written to me and planned things until after easter before I even started. I just answered polite and not much on stuff that was important. phew..

  12. I learners about this at age 55 apron. Now I’ 60 with an estranged family – Bipolar sis and Narc Mom, who moved country without saying after I moved home from the US after 25 years to be with her at her older age. After 4 years of no contact except from some odd attempts, they now want my almost 80 old not nice to me mom, to be her nurse!! No way.. And all the people around me are flying of the handle if I ask to be treated decent. Like cancel if you don’t show up, or ask what my new job is. not making my birthday about you etc.. So Im in a hot hell situation right now where im alone and everyone is at war against me. It is so hard – I had to let everyone go almost. Why do they always pick on me? I now see it faster and run the other way but how long do I have to run and will people ever start treating me decent? Im not a pushover but seems like everyone think they are above me and I should behave like I do not matter and gets really furious if I claim my basic rights. I hope it will be better because Im kinda like scared to move on. Starting a new job tomorrow and hoping that it will be better. I will start with more of my needs in place but boss has already shown that there are not many boundaries, as she has written to me and planned things until after easter before I even started. I just answered polite and not much on stuff that was important. phew..

    PS.. Would be great to hear more about how to ask and set boundries. I can say no to favors, but most don’t ask that but more like when they manipulate by ignoring that we had plans and not answering when I ask, then say its because they were sad over so and so. Same when I got a new job. My girlfriend did not ask where. She had gotten one a month before and we talked about it so much. Then she wrote a long note about how she could not ask me where because she had gotten new that a friend was dying, but I had seen her joke around with others all day on FB. When I mentioned it she got furious and said why she had to pull it out of me instead of me just telling and that I was heartless etc. I saw it as leave the focus om me.. It would have been easier just to write where, than all this drama. She is not my old close friend. Finally a close girlfriend were on Facebook all day on my 60’th birthday and I know she saw it. She wrote the next day.. not a call .. that she was too busy the day before to write and that she has so much to do and things and people to attend too.. What a load of crap and again all about her.. Not how was your birthday what did you do.. If she had written Sorry I forgot.. no problem.. but this?? I call narcissisme.. What do you think? Should I just drop them all? Now she want me to attend her 60th birthday party.. Im like nahhh.. If you can’t even call me why would I travel, dress shop gift and shine on your party?

  13. This is so true. Happening to me. Being told I’m selfish and horrible because I assert myself and say no to things.😁

    1. You are not alone. So many people want power and control over us. It is good to be able to say No and even walk away quietly when someone is only looking out for themselves.

  14. Yippee! Yes! thank you so much Mel as always!! I kept copying sentences to quote but it pretty much turned into highlighting the whole article! πŸ˜β€οΈπŸŒ·πŸ•Š

  15. Thank you – again! – Mel for pointing up so many of the hurdles that lie along the path to healing. I feel like you bring things into a sharper focus for me and I often think ‘of course!’ (after the fact!) after reading what you’ve written. Thanks too for pointing to Module 6 as a good one to work through these issues on, i recognise i need to go do this one to clear out some stuff!

    Thanks too, to a comment Lorenzo made (above), something to the effect of asking ‘why am i always giving away my newfound, hard-earned, energy to others?’ (Forgive me Lorenzo if im paraphrasing you incorrectly but this is a wonderful insight i believe i took from you!). I am just feeling some energy coming back to me, and realise im in a hurry to pass it on/give it away to others, whereas perhaps really i should be valuing and cherishing and … savouring, my own newfound ‘spring-like’ feelings after such a long, long wintering process.

    BTW, a friend just sent me a wonderful book, called ‘Wintering’, its about the need we feel sometimes to withdraw in order to tend and heal and process, in order to resource and renew, just as the seasons need to go through their cycles too. It might be of interest, and support, to some in the community who are feeling the need to go through this often misunderstood and under-valued process? Hope it helps someone somewhere …

    With love πŸ™‚

  16. Just wanted to add… as an afterthought… i have been very lonely too, withdrawing from a lot of toxic people who surrounded me, and feeling guilt about that (am i the horrible, selfish one for doing so, for putting myself and my needs first?). But i suspect that if we can withdraw, even if its just putting up a psychic boundary internally, then we stop getting those injections of venom/toxin that can paralyse and slow our healing process? I dont know Fay, wether perhaps your body is telling you its safer to be at home at the moment, like animals go into a cave or under a hedge to lick their battle wounds, to rest and recover? I have felt like this (withdrawing, ‘wintering’ process I mentioned above) for the past 3 years, and have at times felt misunderstood and attacked for doing so, but as i am gradually learning to resource myself (thanks Mel!) i am feeling stronger, and braver, and have a bit more energy to go out into the world. I have to take care and pace myself, but … change is coming πŸ™‚ Good luck with the process Fay and take good care of yourself – nothing else to do, right?! I love the phrase Mel used – its the job we were born to do… :):):)

  17. Yes! jo, you very well described ,summed it all up……
    I Thank you with my heart to be so thoughtful and insightful to describe where Im at emotionally …Not for one moment, overlooking you Mel,to enable us to air and share. Im sure you also apprepriate our feed back too.
    To all others who shared their pain…I THANK YOU ,AND APPRECIATE ALL YOUR INPUT TOO.
    TO DAY HAS BEEN A LONG DAY …..but am still here ,to go sleep.?…Tomorrow is another day ❀️

  18. I’ve done sooo much work through your programs… and now I am such a happy fulfilled little human being. I am very proud of my self and your words continue to help. BTW all who are suffering because things seem so unfair: keep keep on working with NARP!! when your inner traumas dissolve the other world becomes easy. But you gotta go in and do the work!! As
    my inner peace grows bigger and bigger my whole family has judged me even harder… can’t find a good enough way of expressing how belittling they have become…my mother, my sister, and family have created a story around me… now that i love my beingness more than ever my family is in war with me. This sounds weird, even to me, but I am totally ok with it. I am actually excited about me and life. My nervous system is relaxed. I have full confidence in my self and in life. I did a looooot of work! and feeling my feelings deeply and loving all of them will always be part of me now. Don’t waste time, go do NARP. It will give you tools so logical but found nowhere else. You just gotta go in. Much love to you all. My special thanks to Melanie and her ever eloquent messages. So good to listen to her.

  19. β€œIf you try to live your life keeping everyone happy, you will make yourself deeply unhappy. You are people pleasing and deeply injuring your own Soul Truth. By trying not to piss anyone off, YOU will be pissed off.” Thanks for your wisdom Melanie! Doing your Releasing Family/Childhood Trauma work dovetails so well with this article on pissing off the people who DEPEND on their victim’s silence to keep bullying that victim. I’m done with being pissed off, silenced, and ruining my physical health as a result.

  20. FLOWER…..just found your comment sweetpea!!! Dont know how i overlooked you,
    Am soooo sorry ,would shown some excitment😘🍸🍸 to realise your on the same page xx oh! Could hug you to bits
    Hope you are feeling a little better today. Im having a slack attack.
    Just had a call from a therapist,who is just a gem!!!….wow what a treasure πŸ‘..
    I have brightened up a little since then. The therapist said you,me all of us are needing producive people in our lives….My comment: yeah!!!…I know…
    Her comment was ” many” people dont want to GROW, cuz its easier to not do so!! 😱
    It takes guts ,determination and sheer griit to do so.
    So sounds llike those “Anders grips “have to be on our butts to not stay bogged,n grind a bit harder!! ( Anders grips used to be attached to tractor wheels to get out of bogs,Haha” some TIME ago )
    Well FLOWER,POWER,” aduie kind friend , πŸ™‹πŸ™‹πŸ™‹πŸ˜‰ hope you are smiling πŸ˜ƒ

  21. Such an important article, Melanie.

    I sometimes think you are reading my diaries. Yes, jealousy is a biggie. I always wondered about the 10th Commandment. “Thou shalt not covet….” So many people live in this belief of being less than everyone around them, they covet everything – even their neighbor’s happiness.

    So do we stop being happy? Do we take our light and hide it under a bushel?
    DO we stop to fan the dark energies out of our lives?

    NOPE. We T H R I V E. That is the very best antidote to cancel the envious energies directed at our success. Humbly, humbly thrive on.

    Thrive on. And don’t look back. Thrive on and stay grateful. Never be persuaded that you didn’t deserve your success or that you owe anything to others. Our joy and triumphs are well-deserved compensation for all our tears and dedication. Thrive on and on and on and thank God for it.

    It is our proper duty to God to be successful and express all the good He has given us as fully as possible. Others are free to chose Goodness too.

    Love you so much dear Melanie. You always have the exact right word at the right time. I love this post.

  22. IRIS.
    Your comments are so Lovely . So refreshing to read.
    I believe in “God” our creator. Our faith and trust comes from Him.
    Others who dont believe I Love them just the same.

    Sometimes its difficult to have the faith and trust we desire. Born sinners its not always easy to overcome this world, He has done that for us.
    My question,if I may,to you is…..Do you despair in moments of weakness??
    I know we ALL need to encourage one another.

    1. Dear Fay,

      I would call them ‘moments of testing” never weakness. You see, our only strength is GOD Himself… how can we be weak?

      The only battle is for your faith. What will you believe during the trial?

      I find myself puzzled, and wondering ‘how will God fix this’ -but frankly – NEVER in fear or doubt or weakness. I hope to always be only found in God’s strength -I know I can not do anything without God ( so I guess this is a permanent state of ‘weak’. πŸ™‚ But I wouldn’t have it any other way.)

      I LLLLOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE GOD and trust Him with all my life and heart and soul.

      God can not UN-be. He is and ever will be. GOD is from before time . Eternal. The GOOD He created is already perfect and forever. God is in the ‘quantum’ field where there is no time or space.

      In testing times… wait patiently on God to be revealed when we clear the debris that is blocking our view. The pure in heart always see God – even during the trial. The cross was not the end of the story, only the beginning.

  23. Thank you Mel and others.
    I’ll dip my toe in one day, I promise.
    That time is almost upon me, going through another transition.

  24. Thanks Melanie for this great article! After spending most of my adult life living as an ashamed highschool dropout, I went back to school at 42 and graduated with a BA at 50. Every Narc in my life from my mother, my boss to my boyfriend used every trick you describe to bring me down. Ms. Webster, Ms. City College, You think you are better than us, you name it, they said it to me. Well, guess what happened! A better job with a huge raise, travel abroad, retirment and now I am learning to sing at 65 and hope to have an stage act one of these days. All the Narcs are dead, broke, unhappy, almost homeless. I even lost 2 dress sizes during Covid Lol! Melanie, having you by my side during the tough times has saved my life and I am forever grateful to you! Thanks so much!

  25. Mel- This program WORKS! I have been an on and off Thriver for a few years now (as I peel back each layer I take time with it, adjust to it, gather my strength and move to the next layer) and I had an *amazing* breakthrough recently! An old friend who I had a break with 5 years ago (while standing in my power was still new to me) called the other day and apologized a half hearted apology and I called him out on insincere word salad! I was not going to bite that bait and get hooked into the same old relationship because it suited *him*. I said moving forward, if this friendship means anything to you, these are *MY* needs and FYI, you’ll notice I didn’t pick up the phone in these past 5 years. I was very proud of myself! This was a 30 year (one-sided) friendship that had been so laden with self absorption and toxicity that I couldn’t break that cycle of people pleasing for crumbs until your program! I’m letting him ‘sit’ with the new me and if he picks up the phone again I will be prepared for a second go at him trying to re-establish his ‘status quo’ and remain in my ‘true to myself’ power. NARP is THE BEST! THANK YOU!!!

  26. I find that this has been true for me. As I have started to make gains in my recovery and growth the abusers around me have become more firm in trying to “sell” me this dialogue that I still need them in my life. I know that I do not. And I am practicing my faith now, I am doing the work. Going within, sharing time with myself and not giving up on me. I have seen some outer results- yay! but have also seen some “more of the same”. But Melanie you are so right that their antics do not affect a person the same once they start doing the healing. I find myself feeling the old thoughts- of this is so unfair and then its like I find myself also having thoughts that this is for my benefit and I can use this experience to grow. So I feel like I have some of the old and some of the new, and yes the “old” people in my life don’t bother me the same way as much. They do seem to get angry as I get happy, but hey! I guess that is to be expected. I hope everyone heals and thank you all for sharing.

  27. Hi, Mel.
    Off topic here, but I saw your FB post today and I was wondering what kind of rally you were at. Was it about lockdowns, mandates? Here in the US the media doesn’t cover protests or rallies against anything covid-mandate related. It’s very disturbing that we don’t even hear about it. I did a search and there was a BBC article that came up about demonstrations. According to the US main stream media…. none of it is even happening. We are in the dark. Even rallies here are not covered. I have to say that during this whole 2 year period I have thought a lot about your teachings and all the gaslighting. I hope and pray you all are making progress back to freedom in Australia. And thanks for posting your video, otherwise, we’d have no idea it was going on there.

  28. Dear Sue,

    Nobody can overrule God. You do the right thing by yourself and watch all the laws of Universal Love come to your aid to work out the best situation for all.

    Love is like that.

    I promise.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.