Melanie Tonia Evans

The 4 Steps to Becoming Narcissist Proof

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 48
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

Have you been narcissistically abused and fear it happening again?

Are you worried that the world is ‘full of narcissists’?

There is a very specific Quantum reason the narcissist came into your life – to blow open the wounds inside of you so you can turn inwards to heal and enjoy the best life you have ever known!

Today, we delve deeper into the TOP four Quantum Ways to inoculate yourself against narcissists for good because I NEVER want you to be susceptible again!

 

 

Video Transcript

Not everyone can be abused by narcissists.

If you don’t agree with me now, by the time you watch this video through to the end I hope you do.

If you want to never again be susceptible to a narcissist in your life – I’m going to share with you today the four absolute steps to being completely Narcissist Proof.

And the awesome thing is – as you will discover – this is not just about being free in life to play, create, enjoy and love without being worried about toxic people derailing you. More importantly, it’s about freeing you to be a more actualised, empowered, happier self than you ever believed was possible.

Okay, so before we get started, I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.

Alrighty, now let’s jump right in…

 

Step Number 1 – Turn Inwards to Heal

If you are watching this video, chances are that you have been narcissistically abused and very understandably fear it happening again. Maybe you also feel totally disillusioned, angry and upset that the world contains so many narcissists.

I don’t know how many times I have shared the following truth with this community about narcissists: when you have no more inner wounds for narcissists to appear in your life as being the saviour of, draw you in with, trap you with and start attacking, there is no place for them in your life.

It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without. It is a total fallacy that narcissists come to you because you are already ‘whole’. They get in through our wounds, enmesh with us and then take our energy.

When we are whole, and even when we are dedicated to healing ourselves to wholeness, we can no more be infected and affected by a narcissist than a germ can infiltrate a sanitised surface.

Like so many of us, narcissists used to hook me through my fears of speaking up, the terror of abandonment, the inner feeling of emptiness and the anxiety that I couldn’t be safe and whole in life on my own.

It doesn’t matter how capable, resourceful and hardworking we are, if this is how we really feel on the inside then we are a prime target for a narcissist – especially if we have succeeded and achieved practically in life and have goodies on offer.

Just as so many others in this community have done, since I turned inwards and devoted myself to my most important mission – to clean up and heal my underdeveloped and insecure parts to wholeness – profound narcissistic inoculation has occurred.

I am no longer needy enough to give in to love bombing. I check out people thoroughly before committing any aspect of my life to them, and when doing so I make sure that things are solid and safe in a practical sense. And, I am very prepared to say ‘goodbye’ to someone who won’t take responsibility, care for other people’s emotions, or be honest and decent.

The old me never used to take time to get to know people. She was so steeped in the fears of ‘I need this to help me/complete me’ that I would throw all caution to the wind. Now, I can hold my space and ascertain things because I am generating my life with healthy inner and outer components. Addressing the inner first was totally necessary. When I hadn’t healed my inner traumas responsible for handing my power away – I was often duped, lied to and manipulated. This is what happens when we think other people are our Source and we don’t trust ourselves to be. We believe what we want to believe.

Here is the absolute formula to work out what your gaps are that you need to heal so as not to be suspectable to narcissists again. Ask yourself:

  • What did this person seem to offer me that I thought I needed from them?
  • What part of me thought that I couldn’t create this for myself?
  • What previous unresolved wounds do I have on this topic in my life?
  • What was I trying to receive from others in my past that I didn’t get, and that I was trying unsuccessfully to get from the narcissist this time?
  • Do I realise NOW that only I can turn inwards and love and heal this part of myself back to wholeness to stop this painful pattern and the possibility of narcissistic abuse in the future?

This person in your life is a False Source, pushing you to come inwards to heal and become your own True Source.

And when this happens, there is absolutely no desire, hook up possibility or susceptibility to choosing or staying with a False Source ever again.

Not your reality!

 

Step Number 2 – Stop Trying to Work ‘Them’ Out

If you want an amazing life – narcissism is not that life. It’s very interesting in my life how I help people recover from narcissistic abuse every day, and I’d like to share with you how my everyday reality goes.

I’m not in tune with at all who someone else is or isn’t being. This may sound crazy, but there is a much deeper truth going on here – I’m deeply in tune with who I am or aren’t being.

I’m the only entity I DO have control over, and working out and on me is my optimal position in Life because my entire experience, in my experience, is manufactured from the beliefs and alignment going on within me.

I know, as my own generative source, that if I keep releasing my fearful programs that made me terrified of people and their capacity, and if I don’t hide, shrink or sell out, or tip-toe on broken glass around people – then I CAN be a calm, clear, solid adult in my own body.

Just yesterday I was questioned by a person who I know can be confrontational. I told her the absolute truth, including my concerns about her, calmly and directly. If when I did this she had popped and even decided to leave my experience – so be it. That would have been meant to be.

I know that if I walk truthfully and honestly and confront and speak up as my authentic self, my life shapes around me accordingly, regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing.

I get asked all the time, ‘What if your ex narcs read or watch your stuff?’

My answer is, ‘So what if they do?’

People even say, ‘Maybe they get narcissistic supply from doing that?’

I reply, ‘So what if they do?’

Why on earth would I care about what other people think of me and what I do, and what they get out of it, when all that is important is how I feel about who I am and what I do?

What have I got to fear other than fear itself? And now, because of focusing and working on me and not them, I’m so thrilled I get to do it the easy way – with Quanta Freedom Healing I can release and live free of any fear.

When we are focused on developing ourselves and an amazing life, why would we focus on what narcissists are or aren’t doing and the possibility of running into one? I used to all the time – and I understand why we do this – because we are still carrying so much of the trauma of what happened with them inside us.

Hence why the inner work to release this trauma is so important.

When we start to live free of the fear, we know there is no purpose in deciding ‘the world is full of narcissists’, ‘I have to look out for them’, and ‘I have to protect myself against them’.

This is the truth about narcissists: they are False Selves who are infected with a terrible virus of unconsciousness. There is NO Real Self at the helm, and through people’s fear and pain (unhealed wounds) they attach and then drain out their lifeforce.

The complete inoculation from the narcissism virus is to stop making it all about them and make it all about healing, developing and extending you. Then they can’t touch you any more than a vampire can exist in the presence of a bright shining light.

As I was creating this episode in a café, I could have been dining with five narcissists in the room – and I couldn’t care less – I’m just doing my life fearlessly.

 

Step Number 3 – Enjoy the Journey of Releasing Yourself

Step Number 3 may not be obvious to you initially – but hear me out because this Step is vital!

When we finally start the journey of turning inwards and healing and releasing ourselves from our narcissistic abuse wounds – we may want to ‘get it all done NOW’. Can you relate? I used to be so like this. I was the A-type compulsive obsessive person healing my butt off morning, noon and night so that I could be all trauma free, evolved and clean and never have to heal myself again!

I know this sounds familiar to a lot of you.

Now I know the truth about this – we are imperfectly perfect. And, personally, I know that as I ascend more wounds appear to be released, because as I become lighter (more filled with Light) any dark and dense energy that is not my True Self must come up. It simply must be unpacked if I want to continue moving upwards in consciousness.

I promise you that the same truth exists for all of us.

Now I love this process of dense energy emerging from within or being triggered off by some event in my outer world; and no matter how busy I am, being committed to doing Quanta Freedom Healings on myself whenever I’m in need.

I know that if I don’t go within, I go without. I know that every time I turn inwards and release trauma energy and replace it with Source, the energy that was tied up in me trying to survive that wound is now freed up and available as a pure creative force.

When we release the uncomfortable, painful, anxious or even terrorising feelings from our body and fill where traumas were with Source, we immediately shift and feel free, at peace and extended.

It’s so funny how sometimes people ask me, ‘What are you thinking?’ and I say, ‘I am not thinking; I don’t like thinking.’

It’s true. The more Light that enters my Being the less I need to think, because I just have more and more Source running through me as me. Inspiration comes, things come, amazing things happen – it just is. I don’t need to think about much anymore except showing up to do whatever I feel good about doing.

Mind you, when trauma comes up it feels like trauma – and I love that it does, because each time I do the work to release it I just keep going up to a freer, more spacious trauma-free level.

Here’s the deal on this point – if we hate that trauma keeps coming up and we try to do all the work now so that it never will again, we are not living the process of becoming more whole one wound at a time.

Then we will resist the calling to go within and heal. We beat ourselves up for it, do a spiritual bypass, try to resolve it with our mind, and all the while keep the trauma’s energy trapped in our Being.

This makes us toxic and keeps us connected to people who represent this trauma and toxicity, no matter what we try to learn. The rule of thumb is – the more activated you feel to research how to get out of trauma rather than just releasing yourself from it, the more you will remain stuck in it.

Rather, if we just love and accept the process of the true reason why ‘stuff arises’ – to give us the opportunity to midwife our breakdowns of the Old Order into the grand breakthroughs of our True Self Order – then we are totally OUT of the loop of narcissists.

They are not on a frequency of applying this to their life at all!

So within, so without – unconsciousness can only connect to ongoing unconsciousness.

 

Step Number 4 – Be Grateful For Your Evolution

Of course, at first this can be so difficult because of the trauma and losses you have suffered.

If I can be so bold as to share with you what many of you already know, and understandably many of you don’t yet, narcissistic abuse is a powerful experience which wakes us up to the unhealed limitations, fears and insecurities that had always been standing between us and our True Life.

When I say True Life, I mean the life that is aligned with our True Self – being the only life that was ever going to gratify us.

When we turn inside to heal the things that get smashed by narcissists, our breakdowns turn into divine breakthroughs where we start enjoying the greatest joy, comfort and wholeness that we have ever known. So many people report this, even before real-life compensation appears.

As we heal our wounds and come home to ourselves, we start to experience a feeling of connection with Source, and ourselves and Life without fear and pain, and we realise that finally we are integrating back to Who We Really Are – free of human illusion, traumas and beliefs that have been plaguing us forever.

Life is forever changed as a result of narcissistic abuse, and not, as many people would have you believe, in a bad way. I have said to people over and over – you couldn’t give me 10 million dollars to go back to the person I was before narcissistic abuse. I have also replied many times to people who have said to me, ‘I am so sorry you had to go through what you did’ that I feel so blessed and grateful for going through what I did. Because, before narcissistic abuse I was carrying so many unhealed traumas that were my ‘normal’ that, if this hadn’t happened to me I would never have been forced to heal.

Here’s the real deal that I believe with all of my heart. There are no mistakes in what we go through – we are getting the evidence of our shadows so that we can wake up and make the unconscious conscious to turn inwards and finally release ourselves into our True Self and True Life.

When we can be gloriously grateful for this opportunity and grab it with both hands – why on earth would we require ‘more’ of the message (aka narcissists)?

The truth is we don’t!

We heal beyond the fears of speaking our truth.

We ascend above the terror of not being able to generate our own life.

We know how to connect to people with discernment, sensibility, truthfulness and maturity.

We are able to leave when abuse starts knowing that we are already whole within ourselves and will not accept less.

We can honestly tell people what we need from them and co-generate evolving healthy relationships with able others.

No longer are we trying to turn crumbs into cookies!

I loved what a dear Instagram Lady said, ‘Nah girl, I’m making bread!’

Love it!

So darling Thriver peeps – how about it? If you are with me write below, ‘I’m done with crumbs, I’m making bread!’

And, let’s go do this work together…to truly be narc free and Thrive. This is about going within and finding our gaps, up-levelling them and bursting forth into our True Self and True Lives, and leaving all this crap behind in the dust.

If it’s your time, come join me here, in my Thriver world, by clicking this link .

And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

Oh, and I have mentioned it on my blog, but I want to share with my YouTube listeners too, that I am incredibly humbled and surprised regarding being nominated for the Kindred Spirit Awards 2019 – Personality of the Year!

It’s apparently a pretty big deal – Eckhart Tolle won it last year. I would be thrilled if you could take a moment to vote for me because this is really about voting about worldwide recognition for the Thriver Movement so that we can help end narcissistic abuse.

You can vote for me here:
ONLINE: Go to kindredspirit.co.uk/vote
VIA FACEBOOK: Go to the KS Facebook page: facebook.com/kindredspiritmagazine
The voting lines close on 30 June 2019.

Thank you Dear Thrivers!

And, as always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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71 Thoughts on The 4 Steps to Becoming Narcissist Proof
  • andrea_hobkirk@yahoo.com'
    Andrea
    April 22, 2019

    I’m done w/ crumbs! I’m making bread. I just write a mini kindle book on Mindfulness through Trauma. Feeling happy and proud and alive!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 22, 2019

      That’s so great Andrea!

      Wonderful stuff, well done you!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    • lorrainewilcock529@gmail.com'
      Lorraine Wilcock
      April 23, 2019

      I’m done with crumbs and I’m making bread.

  • loreleew@telus.net'
    cg
    April 22, 2019

    Yes, I know this is accurate although step 3 – Enjoy the journey – can be slippery. I still find myself automatically suppressing something but after a few minutes the physical sensation of contraction reminds me that I’m suppressing – more work to do on that step. However, I honestly didn’t know that becoming emotionally literate was possible prior to this experience and I recognize that without this wake-up call I would not have done the inner work. So I agree it was a blessing in disguise. From the observer perspective, it’s actually pretty remarkable to be alive when such a fundamental belief that we “should not” feel what we feel is being questioned and we finally have the opportunity to experience emotional freedom. “Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”. The work that NARPers do is a real contribution to this new era of human liberation. I’m grateful to have found it.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 22, 2019

      Hi cg,

      I love everything you have written here thank you for you post and incredible wisdom.

      Much continued awakening and blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    • lorrainewilcock529@gmail.com'
      Lorraine Wilcock
      April 23, 2019

      I’m done with crumbs and I’m making bread. Thanx Mel.

  • e@evoorman.com'
    ENPB
    April 22, 2019

    Thank yoi. Voted. Making bread and butter- meaning also generating my own financial soiurces rather than trying to make him to the right thing. XX

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 22, 2019

      Hi ENPB,

      Thank you so much, I’m very grateful!

      How wonderful you are experiencing the freedom of being self generative.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • whitehawke2002@yahoo.com'
    Julia
    April 22, 2019

    I’m done with crumbs. I’m making bread!

  • brewer.asha67@gmail.com'
    Asha
    April 22, 2019

    I’m enjoying the journey! It’s a nice place to be and I haven’t looked back.

  • johnleroy2928@gmail.com'
    DMJ
    April 22, 2019

    Mel,
    Would you do a Thriver episode on CEN (childhood emotional neglect) and how it predisposes adults to being drawn to narcissists?
    I think for many people it’s hard to identify their parents as narcissists (whether they were or not) and therefore hard to acknowledge the painful programming that made them feel “less-than” or like “they don’t matter.” I think that many parents who do not qualify as being intentionally abusive (like a narcissist) still taught their children (through omission) that their feelings didn’t matter and can lead to a lifelong pattern of feeling empty and seeking to fill this emptiness from “with-out” instead of within. Sadly, I think it’s probably very common for parents of past generations to have very little ability to notice their childrens emotions let alone validate them. I’d be interested to hear your take on this, and if you can recommend a particular module that you think best addresses these wounds.
    Thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 22, 2019

      Hi DMJ,

      This is a great suggestion and yes I’d love to!

      I completely 100 percent agree with you.

      With any specific trauma or state that you wish to shift, my greatest suggestion to you is to use Module 1 or the bonus modules in NARP version 3 to target and shift the trauma.

      Please also know in the NARP Forum we are also there to help guide you as specifically as you require http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Hunny63@hotmail.com'
    Sue
    April 22, 2019

    I think your amazing helping so many people all over the world heal from traumatic wounds. I’ve voted for you well done !

  • dhughes62@virginmedia.com'
    Dee
    April 22, 2019

    I am also done with crumbs thanks to you.
    Lots of love xx

  • JBre103950@aol.com'
    JCee
    April 22, 2019

    Got my vote also.
    Wow, to be in the company of Eckhart Tolle is a huge honor indeed! He is amazing
    and a favorite. And I’m here to tell you that you deserve it. That’s saying that your
    work is powerful across the world. So very proud of you and happy for you.
    Well done! And I personally thank you for all you’ve done in my life 🙂
    Every bit as meaningful to me as Eckhart has been. You are both so beautifully full of light.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 23, 2019

      Hi JCee,

      Thank you for your support and beautiful words.

      So much love to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • urpa9-me@yahoo.com'
    happynow
    April 22, 2019

    Easter brought me another opportunity to shake off another work pest. I think i caught this one early enough becos i started talking to my boss about it; i guess i actually trusted her to manage well, and she did. yay.

    I still have part of the sucker sign stuck to my forehead but i’m peeling it off at every turn.

    yay for me to trust my guidance and not to worry that i’m hurting their wibble feelings.

    i love this>>>>>> More importantly, it’s about freeing you to be a more actualised, empowered, happier self than you ever believed was possible. thnx mel

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 23, 2019

      Hi Happynow,

      It’s wonderful to see your beautiful growth and evolution taking place.

      You are doing a great job!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • emxx@sbcglobal.net'
    happynow
    April 22, 2019

    Easter brought me another opportunity to shake off another work pest. I think i caught this one early enough becos i started talking to my boss about it; i guess i actually trusted her to manage well, and she did. yay.

    I still have part of the sucker sign stuck to my forehead but i’m peeling it off at every turn.

    yay for me to trust my guidance and not to worry that i’m hurting their wibble feelings.

    i love this>>>>>> More importantly, it’s about freeing you to be a more actualised, empowered, happier self than you ever believed was possible. thnx mel

  • leemokoena05@gmail.com'
    Lee
    April 22, 2019

    I’m long ago done with crumbs. Yes! I’m making bread. Focusing more on myself and my needs, I’m being more loving and compassionate towards myself. You are spot on when you say that healing trauma is a journey. I have healed so many broken, unmet, hurtful things about my past and myself. So indeed, narcissistic abuse has brought that up, I have learnt to pay attention to narcissistic behaviour and learnt that narcs have no compassion, respect or love for themselves. So how can they possibly give this to others, They have a false self. So this is very difficult for them to keep up with, They loose control and spiral out of control. So this is when they are so out of control that they just don’t care what they do to their victims. Fortunately, I have had to learn 5is the hard way. By really listening to myself and understanding what my needs are and meeting them. This is an incredible journey that I am on. The journey to enlightenment. Thank you Melanie Tonia-Evans for being the voice of reason, my strength and angel guiding me through the dark times into the light. The light where everything is possible. To lead a healthy life and lifestyle that suits me.

    Thank you, for teaching me to keep thriving and accepting my imperfections in a perfect world, where growth is possible ❤️ Lee

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 23, 2019

      Hi Lee,

      Your synopsis of narcissists is incredibly wise and true.

      You are very welcome Lee and I’m so happy I could help you come home to you.

      Many continued blessings and breakthroughs to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • billingsleycheryl@yahoo.ca'
    Cheryl Billingsley
    April 22, 2019

    I am so done with crumbs. I became a NARC member only a month ago. The sick feelings I had in the pit of my stomach have
    turned into butterflies of excitement. The narcissistic in my life started calling me names the other day when I stuck to the boundaries I set.
    I actually had to contain myself from laughing out loud. He had zero effect on hurting me. This program has been a life changer in such a
    short amount of time. I know it’s only going to get better. Thank you Melanie from the bottom of my heart.

  • emxx@sbcglobal.net'
    happynow
    April 22, 2019

    OMG! yes…… a terrible virus of unconciousness….. omgomgomg….. mel!!!! wow; that’s it. ty ty ty

    they can’t get well unless they go for many,many infusions of serious help. wow

    maybe this i’ll remember…. i just think everyone is normal…omg.omg.omg…… they are not.

  • Lousba@hotmail.nl'
    An
    April 22, 2019

    I voted for you.
    Thank you for everything. I have to work on myself.
    Some day is better than another day.
    Im tired.
    I find it difficult to get out of my head😔
    What is my first step? Im from europe.

  • lizola9@gmail.com'
    Lizola
    April 22, 2019

    Just voted for you ! It is so true that Narcissist’s cannot enter our life unless we are wounded and looking for those wounds to be healed. My mother was a Narcissist and every time I had a problem she brought up my father (they were divorced well over 40 years ago both happily re-married) to the point that when my husband died very suddenly his death/funeral was all about her and her feelings. I then lacked such self esteem that I sought self esteem outside of myself, in work, church activities, being the ‘good girl’. Never again, I still wobble sometimes quite a bit but I recognize my patterns now and people who have been very abusive towards me in the past just don’t affect me the same way anymore (they are still abusive, they are not in my life and I have stopped caring). Thank you for these video’s and transcripts they have really helped me to learn to heal my own trauma and to focus on what and who I am and not seeking external approval. I am definitely imperfectly perfect in this journey. When each of us heals we give others the same courage to heal and move forward with healthy self esteem. Love to all.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 23, 2019

      Thank you Lizola,

      I love your words and the sharing of your wisdom with our community.

      Thank you for sharing a beautiful light Lizola.

      Love and blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • jennysherrell@gmail.com'
    Jenny
    April 22, 2019

    Wow – I voted for you too – but gosh, Eckhart Tolle won it last year? I had never heard of it before I received your email to vote. But it obviously is a big deal and you so deserve to win. I bless the day I discovered you and your course on the internet. I was sitting in front of my computer crying and trying to google what was wrong with me. I feel embarrassed to admit it. But I didn’t think anyone could help me – I thought I was crazy.
    Goodness knows how your information came up on the computer – but from then on I started to understand what was happening and I knew I wasn’t mad. And I’ve come so far since then that I’m at the place you talk about in your video. I’m grateful that he came along and helped me heal my wounds. I don’t know how many lives you have save but you definitely saved mine.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 23, 2019

      Hi Jenny,

      Thank you so much for your support!

      Awww Henny I’m so pleased I could help Dear Lady and I’m so thrilled you in the place you are now.

      Sending many continued love and blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • tonymar1969@msn.com'
    Anthony
    April 23, 2019

    I’m done with crumbs! I’ve currently separated and going to counseling but she doesn’t want to admit to anything. Everything is a personal attack. This is the hardest thing I’ve had to go through. I’m feel like I have PTSD from this.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 23, 2019

      Hi Anthony,

      My heart goes out to you.

      The truth is when someone can’t be accountable and take personal responsibility there is no chance of charge.

      If we are hooked into needing them to change for our life to change, our inner being knows how precarious this is and fruitless, hence the PTSD.

      We have to be the generator of healthy change in our own life and detach and heal from that and who isn’t aligned with that.

      Wishing you courage, healing and breakthrough.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • tonymar1969@msn.com'
        Anthony
        April 23, 2019

        Thank you Melanie,

        I find myself almost giving in and going back due to the co-dependency. Thank for your support and giving us the courage!

        I need a healthy change.

        Anthony

  • pob2@outlook.com'
    Pauline
    April 23, 2019

    I am baking bread, I have voted for you beautiful lady, you have helped me so much, love, light and blessings x

  • nushnik@comcast.net'
    Sally
    April 23, 2019

    Thank you once again for the incredible insight and knowings you so graciously share! I have started the NARP modules and have learned new and also relearned so much about myself, very powerful work indeed. I am so grateful for you taking the lead in the quantum healing of self as to why so many wonderful people allow and tolerate folks with narcissistic behaviors in our lives. No more crumbs, I make artisan bread!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 23, 2019

      Hi Sally,

      It’s my pleasure. I love that you are on NARP and it is helping you heal so much!

      I love Artisan bread!

      Many continued blessings and breakthroughs to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Kristinahund@gmail.com'
    Kristina
    April 23, 2019

    I am done with crumbs and I am making bread!

  • Sanaj786@hotmail.com'
    Sana
    April 23, 2019

    Very powerful information, thank you Mel 🙂
    I left him but he fled the country because he’s a criminal and fears that I will get him arrested. I don’t think he will ever even try coming back into the country. He’s threatening me & my family. He’s spreading lies & rumors wherever he goes. Everything he does he blames & projects it on me. Still in the process of divorce. He’s really angry that he can’t control me anymore. I have gone no contact as of yesterday finally. He took all my money so I can’t afford counseling but I am trying to heal online. I will definitely vote for you 🙂
    And yes, I AM DONE WITH CRUMBS…I’m making bread & hopefully butter soon 😉

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 23, 2019

      Hi Sana,

      It takes great courage to stand tall in the face of this and I salute you.

      Sending you strength, power, truth and healing for you and your family.

      Much love to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • kparilis@gmail.com'
    Cedar Sarilo
    April 23, 2019

    “I’m done with crumbs, I’m making bread!”
    This is encouraging, and the timing to have heard this today is enchanting.

    Thank you, and Warm blessings.

  • kparilis@gmail.com'
    Cedar Sarilo
    April 23, 2019

    Thank you for the encouraging shout-out!
    “I’m done with crumbs, I’m making bread!”

  • robynem@bigpond.net.au'
    Robyne McKay
    April 23, 2019

    I’m done with crumbs, I’m making bread.
    I voted for you Melanie, I’m totally delighted for you

  • amanda.cloete@ekurhuleni.gov.za'
    Amanda Cloete
    April 23, 2019

    Thank you so very much for all this life saving information, this is really the most important information any mother can help her children with because as from a young age already children must be teached the tools how to survive to not get harmed by narcissists which literally destroy a person’s life in every aspect. I know because a lot of my days I am spending wondering if I will ever recover. I was married to such a person and most of my own family as well as my stepfamily were like that. My personal believe is that people like that must be locked up in prison because they never change and they are in my opinion exactly the same as other criminals who steal and murder because these are the people who do harm in intelligent ways which they can protect themselves and get the satisfaction all the time to kill people like us from the inside.

    Kind Regards and Blessings

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 24, 2019

      Hi Amanda,

      You are welcome and I’m so pleased this helps.

      Amanda please know that there is a way to heal and get free of the pain and ultimately that is the only journey that we really can take care of.

      I’d love to show you how to get real and durable relief as well as more power and confidence than you may ever remember having.

      The starting point is here: http://www.melanietoniaevans/freecourse

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • dancingshadow18@hotmail.com'
    Kathy
    April 23, 2019

    Here is another one joining the bakery: I am done with crumbs, I am making bread!! Love it haha! Mel you are on fire with this message and your strength and positive power is oozing out of the video!

    I have one ‘technical’ question– Ok, I do know that becoming, being and staying whole inside means taking and keeping the focus inside (and not obsessing about Ns etc). I was just wondering, because I find this topic interesting on an intellectual level, not because of an emotional addiction or need. My question: this thing about energy vampires, does anyone know exactly how that works, when they are sucking energy? Everyone who has ever experienced N. abuse knows what it feels like when they extract energy from you via some psychic connection, but has anyone ever really explained how that works in detail, on an energetic level? As the release from this connection is taking place on a quantum level I am guessing the connection to them and their harvesting energy is also happening in some quantum-related way? A bat drawing blood is something we can see with our physical eyes so that is easy to understand for any laymen, but on a psychic level, how does energy transfer actually really ‘happen’?
    I know NARP works without any deeper understanding about metaphysic and quantum theories, but the “how” ‘behind the scenes’ just fascinates me.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 24, 2019

      Hi Kathy,

      I love how busy the bakery is getting!

      Awww thank you for your beautiful words!

      Kathy on a technical Quantum Level I don’t know exactly what is taking place, all I know is that through a wound, a susceptibility, they have been able to enter our Being/psyche as a ‘potential Source/saviour’ and then ended up compromising our entire system whilst taking what they want ‘attention/ resources’ etc.

      Everything and everyone is connected on the Quantum Field and when trauma infiltrates our Identity it become ‘us’, hence the horrific psychic violation of narcissists.

      This is possible not the answer you require, but it’s what I have!

      Much love to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • dancingshadow18@hotmail.com'
        Kathy
        April 25, 2019

        Thanks for your reply Mel! 🙂

        Sometimes I think our limited human brains might not even be able to fully “understand” all the (technical) details of what is really all going on. And the truth you so often point to is that the feelings in our body are more powerful, important and helpful than any “stinking thinking” could ever be 😀

    • nancy31555@gmail.com'
      Nancy
      April 24, 2019

      In simplest terms, the highest frequencies of life come from life energies _ God Is light, the highest power of all.

      Death is the absence of life/ light/ energy/ frequency.

      The lower the frequencies are, the closer to the absence of light, the greater the vacuum that is generated. Operating like a blackhole that sucks all light & life and swallows it whole.

      The more poisoned something is & the closer to death, frequencies signal the decay of matter & bring in the biological processes to complete the cycle. Like fleas will not jump to a healthy animal, because they do not have the frequency alert they require to be attracted.

      In a sense, also, empaths without firm, healthy awareness & boundaries, both attract the lowered frequency of a narcissist who is nearby, so to have free reign to use their love(for filling great need to give of their abundant supply), & the narc is aware of their rich energy supply that they must grab hold of to survive. Both in a sense needy & acting on the great magnetism to bond & exist.

      When people are hurting/wounded/worn down/inadequate to cope, they struggle with low energy frequencies & search to find a source for supplying that which they cannot generate.
      It becomes a survival warfare in a “them or me” brain __ not a thinking of anyone else.

      The basic animal brain of fight or flee for their lives_ being a constant blackhole of survival, is why they can’t change. There is no amount of energy that will fill/satisfy it, & they live so in terror, that they will become animals in their drive to survive in the world as they know it.

      Life requires energy frequencies.
      Basic physics, primal lowest common denominator, it isn’t personal _
      Matter & energy.
      Fight to live, whatever it takes_ get energy.

      • dancingshadow18@hotmail.com'
        Kathy
        April 25, 2019

        Great posting, Nancy!

  • eibhlinmurphy55@hotmail.com'
    Eileen Murphy
    April 23, 2019

    Great Article, & video Melanie. Thank you so much for your great work you are making great impact on peoples lives.
    Voted for YOU so deserved. 💖💖💟🦋🦋🦋🦋🙌🙌 warm regards Eileen

    • eibhlinmurphy55@hotmail.com'
      Eileen Murphy
      April 23, 2019

      Great Article, & video Melanie. Thank you so much for your great work you are making great impact on peoples lives.
      Voted for YOU so deserved. 💖💖💟🦋🦋🦋🦋🙌🙌 warm regards Eileen

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 24, 2019

      Awww Eileen,

      I’m so pleased you enjoyed it and thank you for your vote and lovely words!

      Love and blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • rossfedy@hotmail.com'
    ross fedy
    April 24, 2019

    Choosing the path to heal can be very isolating and lonely when ones own sense of worth is dependent on affirmation from the outside aka co dependency. At a certain point there is no option other than putting light on the inner shadow. It has taken faith courage surrender and many virtues of what it really means to be human and the journey is the destination. Thank you for the language and compass points that support me

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 24, 2019

      I so agree with you Ross.

      There is no option other than putting light on the inner shadows.

      You are very welcome and thank you for being a fellow courageous traveller.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • nancy31555@gmail.com'
    Nancy
    April 24, 2019

    Poisoned crumbs from the ones who would leave me an empty husk? NO!
    Cookies & bread are ok, but I am learning to accept my place at the FEAST intended for us!…
    Exceedingly abundantly above all I could ever have imagined.

    Actually, I’m learning that in trying to find what I needed to survive, from others who looked like they knew the secrets already(they seemed to have the proof of it), I sacrificed my own life to gain strength in their mirages.
    That’s all they had_ illusions, fantasies, deceit, to entrap & feed off the life-source I found out that I already had, but had become a doormat with.

    In giving my love & patience to those with no understanding of value or appreciation_ just like stripping cars for parts to make a piecemeal one, like a Frankenstein version of dead parts to make what looks like a human.
    My heart was not guarded, so looking to survive & have worth from outside myself, to fill my worthlessness, I thought I would be more worthy if I could turn & help someone else to find their worth.
    Open access to the stripping/stealing of my life.
    Like helping a vampire to go back to the appearance of having a beating heart!

    Now, I’m learning to identify my strengths & giving myself the freedom to end the enslaving yielding, waiting for the occasional crumb, soaked with poisons. “I can handle it, a few of their crumbs can’t be that bad!”

    MY WORTH is in the unconditional love of GOD for me_ that when I don’t cower & hide from this love I had never thought was real… I get more than even the healthy crumbs_ I am guest of honor at the perpetual feast set before us. Easy to do the mental change? No! But of so much more worth that bleeding out life with no hope of returns!

    It comes piece by piece that I am learning I don’t have to prove anything to Him, sacrifice because of my so little worth _ He gave me worth when I accepted His, I just need to live in it as I grow in it.
    As I am becoming within, so I am becoming, period!
    A centered person with peace not based in others, but in a loving God… with His valuation of me.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      April 25, 2019

      I so so agree Nancy,

      When we see ourselves as Source sees us, we know we are loved and valued beyond measure as we are.

      It’s so key in our healing, and many people, including my previous self have struggled terribly with fractured Higher Power beliefs, until reinstating them.

      Thank you for your share.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Afitchick2000@yahoo.com'
    Cindy
    April 25, 2019

    I am do e with crumbs! I am marking bread!

  • anna_elina@luukku.com'
    Anna
    April 26, 2019

    Hi Melanie!
    At the age of 43, I had attracted 3 n’s. The last one, who felt the most like a “soulmate” and “the one” and therefore the disappointment and feeling of betrayal felt unbearable. This so called relationship lasted 5 years. The past 2 years I’ve been healing myself, and I must say…I’m proud of myself and thank you…I feel I’ve risen from the ashes like a fenix! I feel that not only the n belongs to my past…but this strange feeling that he belongs to an entire different “soul era”!
    I was suicidal and emotional wreck. Nowadays I’m perfectly normal in everyday life and couldn’t care less about n’s! This is amazing.
    But today when I talked with my mom (or I tried to talk), she doesn’t understand these concepts and experiences at all. I was like, I’m proud of myself, all of this required an enormous amount of inner strenght. And she was like, don’t exaggerate, it was nothing, no big deal, like “you can just walk away when the relationship doesn’t feel right anymore, and that’s it”. Really??
    This hurt me immensely. What an invalidation! How can someone say n abuse is no big deal when we all here know it is THE deal?! Like do I continue to live like this, the weaker and false version of me…or align with the real, true me?
    And n relationship is not logical, we know we can’t “just walk away”, it’s bizarre how desperately I wanted to be with him, even when it indeed started to feel wrong and his behaviour was horrible.

    So this my question is not about n’s but about people who don’t understand it…Maybe in the future, I must be more careful with whom I share this story about the n abuse? But this is my mom, and I would have liked, wanted her to “get it”, to validate, understand, support me in this, and her reaction was complete ignorance, invalidation, belittling. It hurts. What are your thoughts about this kind of situations?

  • Branigan23given@gmail.com'
    Rachael
    April 26, 2019

    I’m done with crumbs, I’m making sweet bread

  • cristietm@hotmail.com'
    Cris
    May 1, 2019

    Thank You Beautiful Angel Mel…100% voted for you in the Kindred Spirit Awards website – voting still open:) – thankfully til end of June (I just read about it on your blog here – so humble as always!)

    I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving,…more generous, radiant, caring, loving, humble and infinitely energised, including from within – with help from as you say, our Source! (of Love and Light always there for us)

    You’re an ever-present, ever-responsive Answer to our (often desperate) yearnings for guidance-healing from narcissistic abuses of one kind or another at any time of our lives –
    seeking our birthright-freedoms to live the joyful fruitful lives we’ve all been Gifted with!

    Along with Gifts such as you are, Mel!
    Please always feel our endless gratitude always extended and expressed!

    I feel I speak for us all in saying how sorry and sad it is knowing how you suffered…yet you show us with your life and joyful healing work – that
    life is in our own control – and that “the darkest nights produce the brightest stars!”

    One of those is You! As you always remind us the vital Truth that each of us is one too!:)

    Just know you’re a Winner to us all – in every way possible – in every way that counts!

    Much love and endless appreciation for the Inspiration you are…
    for how you “fought the good fight” and won, and for showing us all you learned…
    and how we’re here to keep being learners on our path to our best life and legacy for others…

    Please keep reaching us all with the hope and help you give with your kind and caring warmth and light,
    spreading your message of each of our forever-there Value – that no one can take away from us, if we don’t let them…

    Wishing you every best Blessing as you are to us,
    Cris

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 1, 2019

      Awww Cris,

      Darling one!

      I’m just so happy I woke up, and truly the ‘assault’ was so perfect – I was so stubborn and stuck in my head, rather than wanting to come inside my being … I wouldn’t have got it any other way!

      Thank you so much for your vote Cris.

      It is so exciting and surprising to be nominated!

      For anyone else, (I will be mentioning it again soon!) you can vote for me here!

      http://kindredspirit.co.uk/vote

      Mwah darling heart and fellow Angel.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • sarahlou22@neo.rr.com'
    Sarah Keatts, R.N.
    May 4, 2019

    I just voted for you….Much deserved!

    I am 84 yrs…just learned what LIFE (which I thought was just the way people are) is, by reading only some of your work.
    So much is explained now, I have been there, had no support, Had some support. muddled through mostly, maybe still am with a couple of people, but on my own said no. Got to get cracking …..there is work to do.
    Thank you for clearing for me..

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      May 4, 2019

      Awww Sarah,

      Thank you so much for your support.

      Sarah your post makes me smile – you are an inspiration!

      You go lovely lady!

      You are very welcome and thank you for being a part of our wonderful community.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • teresabain4@msn.com'
    T
    May 21, 2019

    No more crumbs. The bread has become Manna! I am no longer the “Hunted” because I am now the “Hunter”. I’m searching for my strengths and I am finding them. I am strong enough to maintain my boundaries. I am strong enough to see the weaknesses of the N’s in my life. I realize finally that the N’s needed me when, all along, I never needed them. A vampire cannot exist without its supply. An N cannot exist without us. Therefore, we have to control and we have had it all along. That is the secret they never want us to know.
    That is pure Manna!

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