Have you been narcissistically abused and fear it happening again?
Are you worried that the world is ‘full of narcissists’?
There is a very specific Quantum reason the narcissist came into your life – to blow open the wounds inside of you so you can turn inwards to heal and enjoy the best life you have ever known!
Today, we delve deeper into the TOP four Quantum Ways to inoculate yourself against narcissists for good because I NEVER want you to be susceptible again!
Not everyone can be abused by narcissists.
If you don’t agree with me now, by the time you watch this video through to the end I hope you do.
If you want to never again be susceptible to a narcissist in your life – I’m going to share with you today the four absolute steps to being completely Narcissist Proof.
And the awesome thing is – as you will discover – this is not just about being free in life to play, create, enjoy and love without being worried about toxic people derailing you. More importantly, it’s about freeing you to be a more actualised, empowered, happier self than you ever believed was possible.
Okay, so before we get started, I want to remind you that if you haven’t yet subscribed to my channel please do. And if you like this video, please make sure you hit the like button.
Alrighty, now let’s jump right in…
Step Number 1 – Turn Inwards to Heal
If you are watching this video, chances are that you have been narcissistically abused and very understandably fear it happening again. Maybe you also feel totally disillusioned, angry and upset that the world contains so many narcissists.
I don’t know how many times I have shared the following truth with this community about narcissists: when you have no more inner wounds for narcissists to appear in your life as being the saviour of, draw you in with, trap you with and start attacking, there is no place for them in your life.
It’s Quantum Law – so within, so without. It is a total fallacy that narcissists come to you because you are already ‘whole’. They get in through our wounds, enmesh with us and then take our energy.
When we are whole, and even when we are dedicated to healing ourselves to wholeness, we can no more be infected and affected by a narcissist than a germ can infiltrate a sanitised surface.
Like so many of us, narcissists used to hook me through my fears of speaking up, the terror of abandonment, the inner feeling of emptiness and the anxiety that I couldn’t be safe and whole in life on my own.
It doesn’t matter how capable, resourceful and hardworking we are, if this is how we really feel on the inside then we are a prime target for a narcissist – especially if we have succeeded and achieved practically in life and have goodies on offer.
Just as so many others in this community have done, since I turned inwards and devoted myself to my most important mission – to clean up and heal my underdeveloped and insecure parts to wholeness – profound narcissistic inoculation has occurred.
I am no longer needy enough to give in to love bombing. I check out people thoroughly before committing any aspect of my life to them, and when doing so I make sure that things are solid and safe in a practical sense. And, I am very prepared to say ‘goodbye’ to someone who won’t take responsibility, care for other people’s emotions, or be honest and decent.
The old me never used to take time to get to know people. She was so steeped in the fears of ‘I need this to help me/complete me’ that I would throw all caution to the wind. Now, I can hold my space and ascertain things because I am generating my life with healthy inner and outer components. Addressing the inner first was totally necessary. When I hadn’t healed my inner traumas responsible for handing my power away – I was often duped, lied to and manipulated. This is what happens when we think other people are our Source and we don’t trust ourselves to be. We believe what we want to believe.
Here is the absolute formula to work out what your gaps are that you need to heal so as not to be suspectable to narcissists again. Ask yourself:
- What did this person seem to offer me that I thought I needed from them?
- What part of me thought that I couldn’t create this for myself?
- What previous unresolved wounds do I have on this topic in my life?
- What was I trying to receive from others in my past that I didn’t get, and that I was trying unsuccessfully to get from the narcissist this time?
- Do I realise NOW that only I can turn inwards and love and heal this part of myself back to wholeness to stop this painful pattern and the possibility of narcissistic abuse in the future?
And when this happens, there is absolutely no desire, hook up possibility or susceptibility to choosing or staying with a False Source ever again.
Not your reality!
Step Number 2 – Stop Trying to Work ‘Them’ Out
If you want an amazing life – narcissism is not that life. It’s very interesting in my life how I help people recover from narcissistic abuse every day, and I’d like to share with you how my everyday reality goes.
I’m not in tune with at all who someone else is or isn’t being. This may sound crazy, but there is a much deeper truth going on here – I’m deeply in tune with who I am or aren’t being.
I’m the only entity I DO have control over, and working out and on me is my optimal position in Life because my entire experience, in my experience, is manufactured from the beliefs and alignment going on within me.
I know, as my own generative source, that if I keep releasing my fearful programs that made me terrified of people and their capacity, and if I don’t hide, shrink or sell out, or tip-toe on broken glass around people – then I CAN be a calm, clear, solid adult in my own body.
Just yesterday I was questioned by a person who I know can be confrontational. I told her the absolute truth, including my concerns about her, calmly and directly. If when I did this she had popped and even decided to leave my experience – so be it. That would have been meant to be.
I know that if I walk truthfully and honestly and confront and speak up as my authentic self, my life shapes around me accordingly, regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing.
I get asked all the time, ‘What if your ex narcs read or watch your stuff?’
My answer is, ‘So what if they do?’
People even say, ‘Maybe they get narcissistic supply from doing that?’
I reply, ‘So what if they do?’
Why on earth would I care about what other people think of me and what I do, and what they get out of it, when all that is important is how I feel about who I am and what I do?
What have I got to fear other than fear itself? And now, because of focusing and working on me and not them, I’m so thrilled I get to do it the easy way – with Quanta Freedom Healing I can release and live free of any fear.
When we are focused on developing ourselves and an amazing life, why would we focus on what narcissists are or aren’t doing and the possibility of running into one? I used to all the time – and I understand why we do this – because we are still carrying so much of the trauma of what happened with them inside us.
Hence why the inner work to release this trauma is so important.
When we start to live free of the fear, we know there is no purpose in deciding ‘the world is full of narcissists’, ‘I have to look out for them’, and ‘I have to protect myself against them’.
This is the truth about narcissists: they are False Selves who are infected with a terrible virus of unconsciousness. There is NO Real Self at the helm, and through people’s fear and pain (unhealed wounds) they attach and then drain out their lifeforce.
The complete inoculation from the narcissism virus is to stop making it all about them and make it all about healing, developing and extending you. Then they can’t touch you any more than a vampire can exist in the presence of a bright shining light.
As I was creating this episode in a café, I could have been dining with five narcissists in the room – and I couldn’t care less – I’m just doing my life fearlessly.
Step Number 3 – Enjoy the Journey of Releasing Yourself
Step Number 3 may not be obvious to you initially – but hear me out because this Step is vital!
When we finally start the journey of turning inwards and healing and releasing ourselves from our narcissistic abuse wounds – we may want to ‘get it all done NOW’. Can you relate? I used to be so like this. I was the A-type compulsive obsessive person healing my butt off morning, noon and night so that I could be all trauma free, evolved and clean and never have to heal myself again!
I know this sounds familiar to a lot of you.
Now I know the truth about this – we are imperfectly perfect. And, personally, I know that as I ascend more wounds appear to be released, because as I become lighter (more filled with Light) any dark and dense energy that is not my True Self must come up. It simply must be unpacked if I want to continue moving upwards in consciousness.
I promise you that the same truth exists for all of us.
Now I love this process of dense energy emerging from within or being triggered off by some event in my outer world; and no matter how busy I am, being committed to doing Quanta Freedom Healings on myself whenever I’m in need.
I know that if I don’t go within, I go without. I know that every time I turn inwards and release trauma energy and replace it with Source, the energy that was tied up in me trying to survive that wound is now freed up and available as a pure creative force.
When we release the uncomfortable, painful, anxious or even terrorising feelings from our body and fill where traumas were with Source, we immediately shift and feel free, at peace and extended.
It’s so funny how sometimes people ask me, ‘What are you thinking?’ and I say, ‘I am not thinking; I don’t like thinking.’
It’s true. The more Light that enters my Being the less I need to think, because I just have more and more Source running through me as me. Inspiration comes, things come, amazing things happen – it just is. I don’t need to think about much anymore except showing up to do whatever I feel good about doing.
Mind you, when trauma comes up it feels like trauma – and I love that it does, because each time I do the work to release it I just keep going up to a freer, more spacious trauma-free level.
Here’s the deal on this point – if we hate that trauma keeps coming up and we try to do all the work now so that it never will again, we are not living the process of becoming more whole one wound at a time.
Then we will resist the calling to go within and heal. We beat ourselves up for it, do a spiritual bypass, try to resolve it with our mind, and all the while keep the trauma’s energy trapped in our Being.
This makes us toxic and keeps us connected to people who represent this trauma and toxicity, no matter what we try to learn. The rule of thumb is – the more activated you feel to research how to get out of trauma rather than just releasing yourself from it, the more you will remain stuck in it.
Rather, if we just love and accept the process of the true reason why ‘stuff arises’ – to give us the opportunity to midwife our breakdowns of the Old Order into the grand breakthroughs of our True Self Order – then we are totally OUT of the loop of narcissists.
They are not on a frequency of applying this to their life at all!
So within, so without – unconsciousness can only connect to ongoing unconsciousness.
Step Number 4 – Be Grateful For Your Evolution
Of course, at first this can be so difficult because of the trauma and losses you have suffered.
If I can be so bold as to share with you what many of you already know, and understandably many of you don’t yet, narcissistic abuse is a powerful experience which wakes us up to the unhealed limitations, fears and insecurities that had always been standing between us and our True Life.
When I say True Life, I mean the life that is aligned with our True Self – being the only life that was ever going to gratify us.
When we turn inside to heal the things that get smashed by narcissists, our breakdowns turn into divine breakthroughs where we start enjoying the greatest joy, comfort and wholeness that we have ever known. So many people report this, even before real-life compensation appears.
As we heal our wounds and come home to ourselves, we start to experience a feeling of connection with Source, and ourselves and Life without fear and pain, and we realise that finally we are integrating back to Who We Really Are – free of human illusion, traumas and beliefs that have been plaguing us forever.
Life is forever changed as a result of narcissistic abuse, and not, as many people would have you believe, in a bad way. I have said to people over and over – you couldn’t give me 10 million dollars to go back to the person I was before narcissistic abuse. I have also replied many times to people who have said to me, ‘I am so sorry you had to go through what you did’ that I feel so blessed and grateful for going through what I did. Because, before narcissistic abuse I was carrying so many unhealed traumas that were my ‘normal’ that, if this hadn’t happened to me I would never have been forced to heal.
Here’s the real deal that I believe with all of my heart. There are no mistakes in what we go through – we are getting the evidence of our shadows so that we can wake up and make the unconscious conscious to turn inwards and finally release ourselves into our True Self and True Life.
When we can be gloriously grateful for this opportunity and grab it with both hands – why on earth would we require ‘more’ of the message (aka narcissists)?
The truth is we don’t!
We heal beyond the fears of speaking our truth.
We ascend above the terror of not being able to generate our own life.
We know how to connect to people with discernment, sensibility, truthfulness and maturity.
We are able to leave when abuse starts knowing that we are already whole within ourselves and will not accept less.
We can honestly tell people what we need from them and co-generate evolving healthy relationships with able others.
No longer are we trying to turn crumbs into cookies!
I loved what a dear Instagram Lady said, ‘Nah girl, I’m making bread!’
So darling Thriver peeps – how about it? If you are with me write below, ‘I’m done with crumbs, I’m making bread!’
And, let’s go do this work together…to truly be narc free and Thrive. This is about going within and finding our gaps, up-levelling them and bursting forth into our True Self and True Lives, and leaving all this crap behind in the dust.
If it’s your time, come join me here, in my Thriver world, by clicking this link .
And if you want to see more of my videos, please subscribe so that you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.
Oh, and I have mentioned it on my blog, but I want to share with my YouTube listeners too, that I am incredibly humbled and surprised regarding being nominated for the Kindred Spirit Awards 2019 – Personality of the Year!
It’s apparently a pretty big deal – Eckhart Tolle won it last year. I would be thrilled if you could take a moment to vote for me because this is really about voting about worldwide recognition for the Thriver Movement so that we can help end narcissistic abuse.
Thank you Dear Thrivers!
And, as always, I am so looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.
Latest posts by Melanie Tonia Evans (see all)
- How To Know If A Narcissist Is Finished With You - May 27, 2019
- My Personal Dating Plan For Weeding Out Narcissists - May 23, 2019
- The Narcissist Has No Power Over You - May 20, 2019