The daytime narcissistic abuse you have endured can creep up at night and cause disturbing, horrifying and traumatizing bad dreams.
In my case, these jarring nightmares went on for months and months!
I tried many self-care home remedies to regain my normal sleep patterns but nothing worked.
Night after night I’d wake up from another chaotic and terrorizing dream, scared to go back to sleep.
The after effects of narcissistic abuse are extremely difficult to manage and recover from, let alone when you can’t even escape them in your sleep.
In this Thriver TV episode I offer you really deep, powerful solutions, where you don’t need to manage the nightmares anymore because they’re actually gone for good.
Video Transcript
Today I want to talk about the nightmares you have about narcissists, literally as in the bad dreams. What it’s about, why they happen and how to stop them.
Before I do, I just want to say thank you for supporting the Thriver mission. And also to subscribe to my channel to catch my live sessions, be able to do Q&A with me and get notified about my upcoming videos. Hit the subscribe button and the bell notification and also remember to like and share if this video speaks to you and if it could help somebody that you care about.
Let’s get going on today’s show.
The Nightmares Regarding A Narcissist Are Horrific
The nightmares regarding a narcissist are horrific and I promise you it’s really common to have nightmares after narcissistic abuse.
In my own experience it was really akin to the movie Nightmare on Elm Street for months and months, and months. I used to fall asleep and I’d be in the most shocking nightmares. I would wake up totally traumatized. I’d fall asleep and I’d even go back into the same nightmares.
There were things like driving my car off a cliff and I’d be in midair about to crash. I’d be in burning buildings. I’d be in these chaotic experiences. I’d be running around with him, chasing me or him standing over me and mocking me and spitting on me and just horrible, horrible things.
Back in the day there were lots of things that I did try to do. There were things like baths where I would have things like lavender oil in them and I used to do aura cleansing things and black tourmaline. I used to wear that to try and ward off psychic attacks and psychic connection.
They’re great, there are really a lot of things that you can do to help. And I write about them a lot in the NARP program in self-care. Things that can really help your nightmares and help you have a good sleep.
I just really want you to know those things are supplements and they’re helpful, but the really deep, powerful solutions, where you don’t need to manage the nightmares anymore because they’re actually gone, is exactly what I’m going to tell you about in a few short minutes.
Before I do I want to ask you, have you had horrible experiences with nightmares? Because I know many of you have, so let me know in the comments below and let me know how long this has been going on for and what did you do to try to stop this happening to you?
For those of you that are going through this and still really suffering from it, my heart goes out to you. Because narcissistic abuse and the after effects of it are extremely difficult to try to manage and get past and recover from, let alone when you can’t even escape it in your sleep.
Before I tell you exactly how you can treat this and remove the nightmares for good, I want to explain to you what they are really about because this piece is so important.
The Mysteries Regarding The Dream State
There are many mysteries regarding the dream state, but suffice to say it is about your subconscious.
So what’s this about?
It’s about maybe the things and the messages that we’re not getting in the awakened state are coming when we’re in a dream state, when we’re in delta brainwave, when we’re actually open and more open and more connected to the subconscious which is what happens through theta and through delta brain state. Because in beta brain state often we’re quite disconnected from it.
So trauma, which is a very powerful part of our subconscious programming – there’s a lot of emotional energy on it. It really affects our beingness and affects how we feel, what we think, what we’re choosing, what we’re participating with.
If we have trauma programs with a lot of emotional content on them, often they will show themselves in our dream state. It’s when we are more open and receptive to what’s going on in our Inner Being, in our Inner Identity, in our Inner Programming.
The Soul Purpose Of The Trauma Showing Itself
So what is the Soul purpose of trauma showing itself and arising within? This is what I believe and this is really what the Thriver principle to heal from narcissistic abuse is built around.
What I believe is that our trauma is often very unconscious. In other words, we think it’s our Inner Identity and it’s who we’re being and how we’re feeling and what we’re doing and how we’re presenting and what we’re connecting to in life.
Often we’re not aware of it and we’re not aware that the patterns and the programs and the people in our life and the situations that we’re in – that can be intensely painful and traumatic – are actually a match to our Inner Trauma Programs and our beliefs … which a lot of them have been there for a long, long time.
Often pre-cognitive – we might’ve brought them in from past lifetimes – we’ve picked them up in family genetic DNA that got passed onto us. Science is now showing us that we do inherit trauma programs.
Our childhood, our unhealed unmet stuff and of course the program can continue and it does into our adulthood. We find ourselves in very similar situations and dealing with things that we’ve always battled and struggled with in our interpersonal relationships.
Now, what I believe happens is when we have the outer experiences of people that are hurting us, it’s matching our inner often unconscious programs.
When we’re asleep, where that filter between the unconscious and the conscious gets so much thinner and so much more accessible when we’re in a delta brainwave state, our subconscious fully can roam through us and our mind. We’re experiencing our trauma and that’s what’s coming up in our nightmares. And it is traumatizing because you wake up and you feel traumatized because you’ve had a nightmare.
The Subconscious Is Trying To Get Our Attention
But what is this about?
This is about something in our subconscious trying to get our attention so that the unconscious can become conscious so that we can actually turn inwards and attend to it.
So what can you do about this? I want you to understand this about narcissistic abuse and in fact all dis-ease, which is not just physical.
I believe that disease is occurrences in our life that are painful, limited or traumatizing. And these “less than” experiences all relate to an unhealed trauma program within that is trapped inside us that is actually generating these experiences because this is Quantum Law. So within, so without, that the unconscious within us then will actually translate into a conscious experience and from a Soul level healing opportunity when we become consciously awake to that, we can turn inwards and actually heal that subconscious part.
Once we get a change on the inside, the outside, who we are, how we show up, what we choose, what we participate in and how we start generating our real life experience, must shift to match the inner shift.
Trying To Manage The Trauma Of Continual Nightmares
For myself, going back to how I was originally trying to manage the trauma of continual nightmares virtually every night and several times a night with the oils and playing classical music or meditation music. I even did tie cutting techniques, aura cleansing oils, all sorts of things, crystals, anything I could get my hands on which would help at times.
However, the trauma was still there and the nightmares were still there. How I released the trauma within my subconscious was with Quantum healing tools, specifically when I discovered and generated and created Quanta Freedom Healing.
I was able to turn within, target the trauma in my body generating the nightmares, pick it up, load it up, release it and bring Source in to replace it. Which reset me to not having an Inner Being consumed with those traumas anymore. They were gone. Then what happened was the nightmares just melted away.
Likewise, one of my clients, her name is Diane, she was dreaming over and over in her nightmares about being in a house that was falling down all around her. And she was running from room to room to room, trying to escape the narcissist.
I love the belief that houses and our structures in dreams can represent self and hers was crumbling and burning and it was just a shocking mess. Of course being into personal development and she was into dreams and stuff, she was trying to decipher the dreams and she was writing about it and trying to work it out that way to try to stop it, just like any conscientious student of dream study and personal development. Yet I told her that there was another way.
I instructed her to use NARP and to go to Module 1 and to target the trauma in her body what was generating that nightmare. It lit up and she went to it and she loaded it up and she released it and brought in Source and she had to redo Module 1 three or four times to get it to a completely benign – there’s nothing left there anymore – state. She never had that dream again. And it had been reoccurring three or four times a week for a long time.
I’ve given the same information to so many people over the years. I can’t tell you how many times, because it worked for me and it works for others. So those of you who are on NARP just use Module 1 and you’ll get free of your nightmares because we all need our sleep.
Beyond Freeing Yourself From The Nightmares
But this is not just about being freed from the nightmares. There are so many far-reaching results from this as well.
I want you to know that when you let that stuff go, not only are you going to be able to sleep, you’ll also find traumas such as, “It’s not safe to be in my body, it’s not safe to be in life, I’ve got agoraphobia out there because of the trauma of what could happen to me,” … or whatever it is that’s limiting you in your real life in order to recover, move on and start to Thrive. So that will come online for you as well. It’s not just about being able to get to sleep.
How would it feel to be able to heal and be up leveled onto the evolutionary path that your subconscious is asking you to look at so that you can shift and ascend to that? I want you to feel into that. What would it be like to be without these nightmares and to get a powerful leg forward in your Thriver recovery? I want you to feel into this and let me know in the comments below.
In Conclusion
If you are ready to powerfully heal from the inside out, then I highly recommend checking out NARP because it’s the most powerful and effective way I know of how to do that – how to get rid of your nightmares as well as the real life nightmare of this.
I promise you I had tried everything until I was able to work on myself with NARP.
You’re going to see the link that appears on your screen, or have a look in the show notes to find out more. I really hope today has helped give you the hope that the nightmares literally can and will end.
Hi Melania
Thank you, I love your work and there is always something new to learn.
`I would love you you can touch on this. Lack of confidence in Decision making.
No doubt decision made about a Narc been absolutely devastating and really it was decision made by self, this has lead to doubt in making right choices/ design now to of fear in getting it all wrong.
I feel at times, this urge of not wanting to be in position to make choice or constant questioning….
Can you please advise.
Many thanks
Hi Shila,
my greatst suggestion is the inner work.
When you work with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp you reclaim your power – which is decision making.
Until the traumas are released not allowing you to – it is an uphill battle.
The inner work is key.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Its helped me to use NARP’s Module 9 to get rid of the nightmares because I was having them 2 years after going No Contact with the Narc and his family who were in denial or just didn’t want to deal with the problem. I used that Module because I felt like a spiritual connection or tugging by him was happening
Hi Ida! I did M1 right after listening to Melanie today! It really helped! I will try M9 a little later….thanks!!! 🦋
It is very true Ida,
the spritual infilatration is huge.
Great Module 9 released you! It does!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Again your choice of topic for today is uncanny! I had the first nightmare in ages last night, & have woken up disoriented & shaken..& then looked at your post to discover this information & advice.
Have previously tried most of the tools you mentioned.. including; essential oils in diffusers, the bath & massage oils.. flower essences, detoxing & relaxing baths, crystals, wearing black tourmaline, tie cutting techniques, sleep meditations, herbal teas & natural sleep medications like magnesium sprays & melatonin tablets, & exercising before bath & bedtime.
I agree with you that these things can help manage symptoms, but don’t cure the underlying condition responsible for this unsettled state.
When you said to feel into how it would feel to be free of all of this trauma I had tears & the one thing that came up was ‘i will never be healed totally’/’im not good enough to achieve that’.. so I’m guessing this is what I need to take to the modules to shift.
I feel that a recent change to my finances has triggered this current anxiety & panic in me, & I’ll be working on clearing it out & taking action to address the situation over the next few days.
Thankyou Melanie Xo
Hi Lotus,
my pleasure!
Yes, dear lady, clean it out from within (those traumas), and then it just wont be there!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I wondered your thoughts on dreams that aren’t necessarily nightmares or bad dreams. But those that are good with the narc. And then those that start off good and then end in a different way. For example my dreams always are happy feel good dreams about the narc and I often wake up crying and sad like grieving his loss. Most of the time they start that way but then there’s another woman sitting by us or that he’s paying attention to or inviting in (he had affairs) and I get up and walk away or leave and not tolerate it. I’m sure it’s my inner self healing but I have these dreams almost nightly too for about a year and a half and I want them to go away.
I have had similar dreams Amber. I do think it is part of healing…the grieving of what we wish could have been.
Hi Amber,
these are still traumas..
The missing, the longing. The feelings that we can not have these feelings again, or if we do that somehow they will be ripped away or compromised again.
You want to clear ALL of it – ALL of it – truly.
Then there is the space, healing and development for healthy and beautiful durable memories, capacity and generation of your life to occur.
NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp achieves all of that, powerfully and directly. It is your next step.
Love and healing to you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Amber I have exactly the same dreams that you have, I wake up crying most of the time, is indescriptible pain.
Hi Melanie! I love getting these blogs after your videos! Most of the time things that you say in the videos don’t sink in right away but having the chance to read what you said makes a difference! ❤️🦋 it is so necessary to have faith in an idea or a prescription for healing and you constantly give me the courage to believe in and have faith in what you are teaching. This is another step today! Thank you so much Melanie for everything! Much love to you..❤️🦋❤️
It’s my pleasure Peter,
Bless!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Melania:
I have a recurring nightmare. I have had it for at least twelve years. I did not need analysis to tell me I was in a totally toxic work environment. Six co-workers were shot to death and blame was filtered down hill. Managers who attempted to deal with this were fired and replaced by a retired military officer who laid down the law.
My occupation was Transit Bus Operator in Ottawa, ON. My nightmare revolves around many specific supervisors being armed by the General and their invitation to shoot at will. Fortunately I had bullet proof invisible tape for my bus.
Days after I was eligible for retirement I took it, Oct. 1, 2011. The nightmares continue but became blended with nightmares about my wife’s behaviour. I tried to have a discussion with her to no benefit. A few days later she walked into our home, mid day, and threw down her Lawyers business card and said “I advise you to get your own lawyer.”
That was 2012 and a seperation was agreed to. I left Ontario to work a few more years in Alberta, about 2500 km. away.
A serious illness brought me back to Ontario to say my fare well to three daughters and 6 grandchildren. A second medical opinion and emergency operation spared my life, but my nightmares continue even in 2021.
I have used session one and after tonights presentation I will repeat it as many times as I need.
Thank you for leading me into recovery!
Blessings!
Chris.
That’s so great Chris,
that you are now cleaning this out from within.
You are totally on the right track.
Love nad blessings to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I have had similar dreams Amber. I do think it is part of healing…the grieving of what we wish could have been.
I have terrifying and traumatic dreams about my ex too. He use to get off on pointing a gun at me and dry shooting! He always wore a loaded gun in his waist band to keep me in line. I’ve had nightmares about him shooting me, and then smiling and being very proud of himself, denying me medical attention. I’ve suffered with these dreams for 20 years now. They aren’t as scarry since I left 3 years ago, I think because we now live in different states, instead of the same house. But. I worry that he will invalid my new home, and kill me and friends and family. He took everything in the divorce, so I can’t afford your classes. What can I do?
Hi Pamela,
please write in to my support team [email protected] and one of my lovely team will let you know about applying for sponsorship.
We would love to help you heal despite your situation.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you Melania has always for these timely TV episodes that I love watching and they always seem to come at the exact perfect time imagine that. I’ve used module one a couple times and it was so painful that I was afraid to log back in and keep trying even though I know that’s what I’m supposed to do it’s so painful.
I had a dream, woke up crying, that I needed to break up with my narc. So I did. He weaseled his way back into my life with pretty lies of course. And did me wrong in all the ways I was trying to avoid. I had 2 more dreams about him: in the first, he was literally a human roller coaster rolling down the track toward me–of course–and in the second he dumped me in a cruel way. I finally got free this year after he moved away (I think he did? But who knows with pathological liars eh) and he breadcrumbed his way into oblivion. Promised me eternity first though. Lol! Then, poof! Disappeared like Houdini. Death by a thousand cuts! But I AM FREE. So creeeppyy how they show up to terrify us in our dreams. Very fortunate my unconscious could guide me away. There’s simply something icky about non-genuine people. The manipulation is staggering and the pain seeps into our souls
Oh, yes, I was constantly having what I called my “messy dreams”, where I am in a two or three story house all alone, and it looks like an earthquake or a flood has gone though the house and ruined everything and it’s my job to try to clean it up or fix it. And searching everywhere for my lost daughter, but can’t find her, and I’m terribly panicked. A perfect analogy for how my narcissistic former husband and his really sick dysfunctional family broke up our marriage, alienated my daughter from me, and totally ruined my chance at a beautiful family life.
These began to lessen in frequency and intensity once I started healing with NARP! The last one was months ago, and the fun thing is that right in the middle of the dream (while I was still asleep and dreaming) I said out loud, “ oh, it’s one of those stupid messy dreams! Think I’ll wake up now, how boring! Goodbye to this noise!” Haven’t had one since.
NARP is the one thing that has worked. Wish I had discovered it years back and not wasted so much time feeling targeted and having my energy sucked even though I was divorced and living in a different city. Tie-cutting rituals didn’t, well, cut it! But NARP did, and hallelujah! I am so grateful! Now I have mostly fun and interesting dreams!!!
I feel that reading this at least makes me understand why I am still having disturbing, frightening, emotional nightmares. I am over 3 years from leaving a 20 year marriage and 2 years no contact, in my self on a day to day basis feeling so much better about life, work etc which feels great. The thought of being in a relationship with another man still scares me and I certainly feel I am a long way off that yet, although it would be nice in the future. The nightmares are disturbing and I can’t seem to stop them, please can you help me. Can your program be bought in modules as I would find the cost a lot. Many thanks. Xx
Hi Mel,
A year before my nightmare actually manifested I had recurring dreams of the two narcissists driving around in the darkness together in a car with the male in the driver’s seat and female in the passenger’s seat and they appeared as ‘paired’ together which left me fearing and feeling betrayed. I don’t know if this was my intuition warning me and or my trauma re-enacting from prior experiences but I only realized and remembered these recurring dreams after the disaster had struck and I had got out of it very traumatized.
Dear Thrivers,
I had Insomnia for half a year, living in a parallel world somehow. I saw him everywhere 24hrs, though he was living on a different continent by then.
So I started to draw these nightmares and visions to somehow get them out of my system.
Also to double-check on what I was experiencing was real. As I never really got into spirituality before (at least consciously): But I suddenly started to put candles everywhere, when it was getting dark outside, always had aroma sprays at hand, healing stones, flowers, baths, vitamins, healing massages, speaking to angels …
On top I even placed a huge buddha statue next to my bed, where he used to lie, in order to protect me. And it all helped! Also good: a Gravity/Therapy Duvet…
Still after 2 years I am sometimes reliving the past in my dreams, also feel like dark entities somehow.
But no matter what – The major savior was NARP: since doing the healings (after the shattering clash and going full-no contact plus divorce), I was able to find my way back into life again, which I back then never ever thought was possible!
Now more often than not – I cuddle up in my bed and do feel like a Care bear and
I can scream of joy due to feeling warmth, safety and peace!! So GOOD!
Can’t wait hear Mels recommendation on how to shift the last bits and pieces!
P.S. The buddha statue also found another place to watch over me, so that there is actual space for a real 3D buddha man to enter my space this time! Cause I know now, I deserve this!
Writing all this makes me teary, realizing how far I got in my healing and I really do want to thank Mel and the MTE team from all the bottom of my heart!!
Thank you.
Hi Kolibri,
That is beautiful that you have come so far with NARP.
Sweetheart please come into the NARP Member’s Forum (are you a gold member?) http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member and there we can guide you specifically how to release and uplevel from these last bits!
Much love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I was in an attempted marriage for 22 years. My EX had no intention of being a husband or a father. His lack of disclosure let me believe we could work it out. The nightmares were loud and physical. After a divorce and annulment, I went no-contact for 35 years. With my three children, I made gradual progress. When he decided to pick up with the kids and meet the grandchildren, the same nightmares returned. I am no longer clueless; I know how dangerous he is; I know too much.
My therapist thinks I’m obsessed with fear, no kidding, I agree.
At the most horrible point in my relation to the narc, I dreamt he shot me with a gun. It was (obiously) very violent, and even though his act in real life wasn’t violent physically, psychologically it meant exactly this gunshot.
Other than that, as I grew up with one narcissistc parent, I have always had recurring nightmares of running away from her from one room to the other in an immense building, trying to close doors behind me so I could be safe. But then she always trapped me and when I wanted to explain myself she would put on some really loud noise so my voice could not be heard.
Wonder why I had to deal with narc partners in my adult life.. It’s like there was no escaping to it, really.
I’ve had nightmares about myself in bizarrely horrific or terrible situations full of the most miserable types of violent drama my spouse’s ex-narc, who tried to worm their way back in via family, would no doubt enjoy.
I would wake in a full panic attack and just cry .
I also had nightmares of him sitting in the same room as me and someone else was attacking me.
He never did anything to stop them.
Thankfully these have all stopped now and I’m moving on slowly.
I started module one last night and I had intense dreaming this same night. I was trying to meet my husband in an Asian city that was both modern and old. I was staying in a luxury hotel but had no money to get to the old city where he was at a conference. I went on the street and a couple arrive in a yuk yuk and tell me they are going where I want. All of a sudden I have money and I’m able to get to where I want. I think this dream is telling me im on the right path. It wasn’t a nightmare but there was a lot of anxiety attached to it.