Today’s article is on a topic I really want to speak to, because I know that lots of spiritual people get abused by narcissists.
Like many of us, I used to be highly invested in being “spiritual”, being aligned with “love and light” and believing that if you are a good person then others should be good people too.
People who are religious also can fall into this trap.
I know that as a member of this community, and because you have been narcissistically abused, you are a good and loving person. But is having the belief “others will treat you the way you treat them“ serving you? Is this loving yourself?
Today I want to talk to you about how, when it comes to narcissists, this belief has been diabolical.
Let’s explore why.
The “Energy Leak” of “Spiritual” Love
Okay I’m about to start having a very REAL discussion with you…
“I am a good person, and therefore you should be too” is a false premise, because you don’t have any control over other people. You only have control over yourself.
As children, naturally we were very reliant on our caretakers hopefully doing the right thing and caring for us healthily. Yet, of course we had no control over that – and as adults we still don’t have control over it. Yet as an adult you have the power (if you choose to use it) to ascertain what and who you will participate with in your life.
I know what it’s like to righteously declare, “I am honest and a good person, and you are not, therefore you are wronging me”. I really did believe I was justified in saying this, until I understood the rules to life much better.
In reality, this meant I was handing my power away. When this person did not do the right thing, I made it the truth of my Inner Identity that I was their victim.
The point I was missing was that by holding someone else’s behaviour responsible for my life, I was handing them my power – totally.
It left me powerless to recover my life, or recreate it myself.
There is an even tougher truth to embrace… I had no right to hold them responsible for my life, because I am responsible for my life.
It’s very rare for someone to just WRONG us to the point of destruction out of the blue. We get the warning signs. Our inner GPS (God Protection System) – namely our intuition – goes off.
The reason we ignore this inner knowing is because we don’t want to know the truth. We project our own desires onto a person and then we want this person to “be” the person we imagine and need them to be.
By ignoring our inner knowing we pay a very heavy price. We say that this person betrayed us – but didn’t we really betray ourselves?
I remember hearing the narcissist lie about things and manipulate people in front of me. People warned me about him and things he had done in his past. Information emerged that was disturbing about him. He acted in ways that were extremely concerning.
Yet, I shrugged it off – I didn’t want to know. The warnings were there – but I had decided “I want to be married to this incredible man” (the version of him that I clung to.)
Like all of us, I tolerated behaviour and kept trying to placate his demands, because I didn’t want my version of reality with him to fall apart. I stayed connected, trying to lecture and prescribe because I didn’t want to leave. In my New Age belief of “It’s my duty to teach people about Love and Light” I felt righteously anointed to carry out this duty with him.
Now let’s take this one step further…
The Twin Flame Delusion
A BIG spiritual issue I see is what I term the Twin-Flame Delusion. I used to live in it too.
Some of you may not be happy with what I am about to say – but please stay with me because this information could save you from terrible relationship trauma and pain, as well as the agony of unrequited love.
Just because you feel like you are hopelessly “in love” with someone who is either not wanting to commit to you, or continuously hurts you, does not mean that you are supposed to have a relationship with them.
You cannot make someone love you.
You can only love yourself and then choose others with the capacity and desire to add love to you. Otherwise you are engaged in self-destruction, not self-love – which is the only place where true love with another can come from.
We all accept the level of love that we already have with our own Inner Being and Source – meaning our own level of inner wholeness and emotional and spiritual solidness. If you have unhealed inner business (like I did too), you will accept painful love, and can even righteously declare that it’s your sacred duty to endure it. Yet nothing good comes from it other than trauma and damage.
The trauma and the damage that, ironically, we are holding someone else responsible for.
In my humble opinion the Twin-Flame delusion – holding out hope for someone you cannot have a relationship with now – is obsession and addiction. It is not about love. It’s about control; trying to hope, manifest or tell someone else that they need to love you, be kind, choose you, commit to you, be loyal to you – when they haven’t got the capacity or the desire to.
No-one owes us anything! We owe ourselves!
What the Twin Flame delusion is really about is staying attached to someone who represents your trauma bonds. They are not the saviour of your unhealed wounds, they are the messenger of them.
I can’t tell you how many people (mostly women) are wasting away terribly on the hope of a “lover” who does not want to commit to them, or who keeps betraying and discarding them.
They say it is because this person is their “Twin-flame.”
I feel qualified to talk about this because I once believed the narcissist in my life was my Twin-Flame.
Yes, 100% it was a freaky connection that we shared. In astrological terms his moon was my sun, my mars was his venus and vice versa. And the crazy coincidences that we shared went on and on and on.
When I met him, I thought IMMEDIATELY I had met “the one”. When I went through abuse with him, I thought that it was my job to save him, save us, and that I couldn’t live without him.
I believed 100% it was because we were meant to be together.
No – that was NOT true.
I was almost destroyed trying to hang on. We were never meant to be together. It never WORKED together.
These relationships don’t! Life is not some fantasy novel!
Rather, he was a powerful nemesis in my life – that was TOTALLY meant to be – forcing me to finally let go of the outside (him) and go inside and heal myself back to wholeness and True Source. Up till then, I had been attached to people and situations (False Sources) to give me myself, in my New Age “love and light” life-from-the-outside-in focus.
He brought me to my knees to finally come home to me and to became self-generative. To come home to the inner relationship with myself; to heal from False Sources, self-avoidance and addictions; to start generating true and healthy relationships, emanating from my inside.
Now I know the ONLY true relationship to have is with our own Inner Being and our Higher Self (Source / Creation / God), it is NOT an unavailable or unsafe other.
I promise you whilst I have been in this community, I have NEVER seen anyone achieve real healthy love by hanging on to a painful relationship, giving pieces of themselves away. People don’t love you how you love them, they love you how you love yourself, and behaving like this, as hard as it is accept, is not an act of loving ourselves.
I hope that the above explains why I personally feel so much relief about letting go of my previous New Age beliefs!
Okay now let’s explore the Quantum shift into Quantum Love.
Taking Your Power Back with Quantum Love
The most powerful way to do this is … stop … thinking … talking … and obsessing … about the OTHER person.
Why is this fruitless? Because you can’t change them. Working them out gives you NO relief.
Additionally, how can you work them out? You can’t – because you are not them! If you are determinedly researching everything about them to confirm what a shocking person they are and how much they damaged you, where does this leave you? Even more entrenched and programmed on the inside, deep within your Inner Identity of being a POWERLESS victim.
Ouch! Where does that leave you? Unable to heal and go and get your true amazing life!
I learned this the hard way. I went through such a complete non-recovery in my righteous view of “you are a shocking abuser” and “I got smashed mercilessly”. The reason was because to change my life and my state of trauma, the only thing to do was change myself.
This is the only place where any of us have ANY power to change being traumatised.
Doing this means taking the radical person responsibility of “What part of me allowed this, handed my power away and tried to make this person give me myself? What did I want from this person that kept me unable to pull away and go it alone to heal? What do I need to now grant to myself?”
I almost died until I turned this around with the DETERMINED focus of “What is it about me that I can take ownership of, heal and evolve?”
Once this happened, true recovery began for me. I was in the driver’s seat in making the shift from the righteous powerless New Age Focus into Quantum Healing and Love.
Meaning Love from the inside out, instead of being a victim for not having received it from the outside in.
Here was the absolute truth of my POWERFUL meant-to-be relationship with him. “He was in my experience for a reason – to show me where I wasn’t whole. To hit the parts within me where I didn’t have self-love, boundaries and my own personal power to generate my own life.”
This was true. I had the inner trauma of “I can’t survive without a man” (and so many other unhealed parts) that I did ignore the warning, I did pin all my hopes on him giving me my own wholeness, and I certainly did not listen to my inner voice, or risk losing him by taking a stand for me.
The truth was I kept choosing him over and over instead of choosing myself. This was because I had been holding HIM responsible for the love, approval, security and survival that I wasn’t yet capable of generating for myself. I had these inner unconscious traumas before meeting him. I tried to make him the saviour of my wounds, but he was the deliverer of them right up powerfully into my conscious experience.
This is what I believe Twin Flames are for.
I thought I was healed – I thought I had done the work – yet all of it has been “cognitive”. I hadn’t been deep inside my Being to heal this at my core – until I went Quantum.
Once I did, I knew that every time I focused on him – by having discussions about abusers, and what type he was, and why he did what he did – I was denying myself my own recovery. Going Quantum meant I stopped this self-avoidance, the blame game and staying a victim.
I got determined to fully own, claim and heal all the inner parts which needed my own love and attention. I made it MY job to heal.
Not from this place – “I am healing how much YOU hurt me.” Rather from the humble self-ownership of, “I am healing all the ways I was already unhealed, handing my power away, and manifesting more brokenness in my life.”
Now THAT’S power! That’s when you get in the driver’s seat of spectacular and fast self-recovery.
Why? Because there are sealing up your energy leaks. You have made it ALL about you – the ONLY place where your power is!
Every single Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) member I see in our community who takes that STANCE, gets up and out of their trauma very quickly. It worked for me too, of course! I came back from a diagnosis that I was told would NEVER recover from, as a result of the breakdowns that I went through.
Healing at this level caused ALL attraction, longing and pining for the narcissist to dissolve. No longer did I feel like he was my Twin Flame. A slug in the crack in the pavement became more significant. Because I had GOT the truth of this powerful catalyst in my life, and activated the graduation. Because I accepted the lesson of coming HOME to healing myself.
In my again humble opinion, I don’t believe the Twin Flame relationship is anything other than this.
And please know that if you let go, love and heal yourself back to wholeness, then this gives your “Twin Flame” the opportunity to step up and meet you at this level of evolutionary true integrity – in commitment, desire, teamwork, kindness, honesty and care.
These are totally requirements for ANY relationship in your life to work, and when you are modelling this fully yourself, for real, then it is the only way they could have a relationship with you. They have to meet you at this level.
Anything less is not loving yourself and it would never be Real Love with them either.
Going Quantum Means There IS Only Power In The NOW
In the Quantum world there is only NOW.
Who are you Being NOW.
Are being empty, traumatised and pining?
Or are you modelling wholeness, health, happiness and fulfilment – regardless of what a specific other is being and doing – so that you can generate MORE of you (which is the only thing you are ever doing anyway.)
Then you have no desire for anything less than this – the spell is broken. If the previous “Twin Flame” does not step up, you are now attracting and being attracted to people and things far more lovingly superior. Why on earth would you want to open a first-grade book when you are now in a sixth-grade class?
Please know I did not write this to judge New Age people. I know many gorgeous people like this – who can be so kind and wonderful to others, yet are being really torturous to themselves.
I was one of you, my dear brothers and sisters, and I promise you that you could NOT give me all the islands in the Bahamas to go back to living that way!
What I discovered is that when Going Quantum is presented to New Age people (like myself) who are already spiritual, then they gobble it up, heal very quickly and change their lives, from the inside out, beyond description.
They find their inner key. They become REAL love and they start manifesting it for REAL.
If what I wrote resonates deeply for you and you know that it is your time to claim Quantum Love, then I can’t recommend the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program highly enough.
It’s my Program, with access to my Quanta Freedom Healing Modules, that takes you there.
Please let me know your thoughts and feelings below, about this very direct article today!
Melanie,
Thank you for writing this article. For your courage and openness.
What your wrote ” People don’ t love you how you love them, they love you how you love yourself” is BRILLIANT!
It is soooo true! I’ve seen this time and time again in my own life. And it is time for all for all of us individually to learn this lesson, and then our entire society as a whole will heal, as well.
Thank you, and much love to you,
Anna
Hi Anna,
I love that this resonated with you and thank you for your beautiful support!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thoughtful and helpful article. Thank you for verbalizing some deep shit!
I have had some less than ideal experience with the new age movement.
That is where I learned many adherents are deluded. That “send love and light”, I asked what does that mean? Instead of getting helpful answers I would be attacked.
Oh and that “raise your vibration” stuff, Geez why not just tell me to grow a 3rd arm? I have learned you can’t raise vibrations unless you work on yourself getting rid of negative energies stored in the body and subconscious.
“Spiritual bypassing”, that’s pretending you got rid of your problem but it’s still there, otherwise the negative thoughts wouldn’t keep returning.
That’s great you are distancing yourself from the New Age BS. I’m so glad you are addressing this.
Hi Stephen,
I do agree with what you say!
Absolutely correct about “spiritual bypassing”.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie!
Thank you for this very unusual and amazing article!
I was surprised, to say the least, by the title!!!!
I’ve lived in a community where the “New Age” movement has florished and been proliferated for decades!
It has always amazed me how so many of these individuals have taken on a “God Like” personna….
when “exchanging” thoughts or ideas with them I always felt a condescending air about the, especially with the “dyed in the wool New Agers” and what and how they manifested… ultimately I endured their absurdly projected opinions of really very little value when any kind of ordinary “commerce” took place with them….
I remember being so frustrated!
At the time that I was exposed to this nonsense I was “alive” and searching….
I had spent considerable time exploring and practicing many of the sacred teachings of the East…
And then the “truth” about how systems and sacred teachings were misaligned by so many emerged for me….I was appalled at the sacrilegious “stuff” that was going on with and in these different groups and people!
Even though they talked a great deal about Buddhism and the Sufi method and Madame Blavatsky’s secret doctrines, etc. I felt that so much of it was just a reiteration of words or “lip service” to something that really wasn’t germane to their lives at all….
I had hoped to find more guidance and certainly more honest REAL direction in terms of my spiritual practice and practices but I ended up being totally disillusioned!
And, simultaneously, I was going through a horrible relationship with a control freak narcissist who, was, one of the “New Agers”…🤮
Well, this went on for years and I really struggled with all of it! But, one amazing day I found you, Melanie, and NARP as I was searching in desperation for help with so many issues that I was encountering every single day!
And now I am here! And I couldn’t be happier with what I have learned from your amazing teachings and your amazing system!
Each time I have this golden opportunity to read something of yours or listen to you and practice “The way of a Narper” I am soooo grateful, Melanie!
Today, is no exception, and I am so glad that you made this effort to expose the charlatan nature of so much “New Age” nonsense….
Once again, I so loved how you were able to weave a story together for us that’s easy to understand with incredible guidance and the wonderful sharing of your own personal “story”….
And then, bring it all together and show us how we can use NARP to grow within….🕊💞🕊
I know that people say this to you all the time but I’m going to say it to you anyway! Without NARP I don’t know where I would be! 🙏
And that is an axiomatic truth!!!! 💥
Thank you so much, Melanie, for everything! Much love!
❤️🦋❤️
Peter, yessss to everything you said. Thank you for sharing and I am wishing you much love and peace. You’re on your beautiful journey!
Hi Peter,
that’s so great that you loved this unusual article!
I also thoroughly enjoyed your very insightful and deep answer.
Please keep sharing them!
(I know that many people relate, and it’s so great for our guys to be involved!)
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Mel,
Thank you for yet another great post. Just to get my thinking right after reading your blogs as I have never come across this kind of approach to healing as I have used the CBT route coming from childhood trauma and abuse – we play out of trauma in life with others whom we attract that represent the abuse we have already received up to that point before meeting the narcissist? I read in one of your posts that we play out 95% of our trauma programs in life and our outer situations will not change until we heal within – is that right? I have found that most of my experiences have been with those who have had a lot of power over me, authority, fear of speaking up and being shut down, being told I am stupid or dumb, racism and the list goes on. I have found this bullying and many other abuse patterns that show up in work, romance, family, and life in general. I am simply reliving my memories as I came from a cycle of trauma young and in the family line.
Bee
Hi Belina,
I love your question.
Because what we are Being – that is what comes. It’s exactly what “Be” “Comes” mean. Whatever is in our Being is how we show up, what we participate in, and who we interact with. This is obviously usually deeply unconscious. It isn’t till we get better on the inside that we can do better.
Yes, it is correct – true freedom comes from within – you have that right. By releasing the trauma within (going free of it) we are no longer a match for the people who represent more of our trauma.
Sending you love and healing
Mel 🙏💞🦋
For three years or so, I attended a New Age church and it really served me during that time because I was pregnant by the N and it gave me community in a city where I didn’t have family. But I started paying attention to what I would later come to learn is “toxic positivity” and “spiritual bypassing” that was leaving me feeling worse off. I cut ties and didn’t look back because the world renowned and celebrated pastor also started to feel something akin to toxic. I certainly wasn’t healing there, but it did serve a purpose up to a point. I am completely accepting of the fact that I had to have this contact with the narcissist to get my inner wounds addressed, what is so distressing is that with all of the work I’ve done and that includes spiritual, I have yet to experience a release from this state of constant conflict. I just want peace.
Beyoutoofull, wishing you much peace and resolution. I have been there, and I am still trying to recover. One day at a time, sometimes a minute at a time.
Hi Beyoutoofull,
I hear you – I was the same.
Are you working with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and are you in the NARP Member’s Forum – http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member ?
That is the way to your healing – truly. Just as it has been for me and so many others.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I live about an hour and a half from Sedona, Arizona. It is one of the most spectacular, beautiful and ethereal places I’ve ever seen. In the early days of Hollywood filmmaking, some directors discovered it and used it commercially. They promoted the vortex energy from the red rocks. Today, it is the Disney land of New Age hoax and phony commercialism. It sickens me because they’ve destroyed the beauty of the land which is inherently pure.
Even thought I was raised Catholic, even after my three older sisters had to go through “catechism” (in my family’s parish — not mine! — a teenage indoctrination in the form of tortuous question-and-answer sessions on Tuesday afternoons), even after I was an alter boy for my grandfather’s funeral, and wholly independent of telling my parents at age 11, I told the nuns that I didn’t think it was a good idea for me to attend catechism when I became that certain age. They agreed, and had me meet with the Monsignor who said “if you don’t think this is a good idea, neither does the Church.” And that was it, I was “free” from this religious tyranny. My family was livid, but “that was it.” I was an 11-year-old smart aleck, and “that was that.”
I say all of this (happening nearly a half-century ago) to outline that I am not particularly religious, even as I resonate with something “spiritual” that my (now late) mother called “the universe” (she gave up Catholicism right after “I did”! only to get into “new age stuff” during the 1970s — big time! — and eventually the Unity Church). Melanie has urged us to find our own names for this (a “higher power,” if you will) if we are uncomfortable with “God,” and I think that’s a good idea, too. So when I quote (once again, I think I’ve done it once before in this forum) how a passage from the book of John (chapter 9, verse 25) AND I outline that I’m not really a fan of “the Bible,” you’ll have some idea where I’m coming from. The paraphrase that I take from that passage is “where I was once blind, now I can see.”
This is how I feel about narcs and what I have learned about them being in my life (both my partner of decades after she tried to destroy me AND in my family of origin, which I didn’t fully realize until I began NARP): until they hurt us, and deeply, and with their outrageous and powerful destruction, we don’t believe it is possible. We don’t believe one person can betray another like these sociopaths / psychopaths can and do, but they can, and they do. And the world cleaves into three: those who have experienced this (and KNOW), those who have empathy and compassion and can share our sorrow, and those who are and remain essentially clueless, even as they say they want to be our friends and be helpful to us, but because of their ignorance or lack, they simply cannot.
How does this all tie together? The “new age-y” stuff is what it is. If it helps you (and I doubt that), good for you. Organized religion? If it helps you (and I doubt that), good for you. If you are recovering from Cluster B, narcissistic destroyers-of-light (well, they try, but we must not let them), you MUST know that it truly IS “partly your blindness” that prevented you from “seeing” something in those people. This is not an easy thing to say, this is not an easy thing to see (in oneself). But, (and here is the big part): once you “see,” their evil (for that is what it is), you cannot ever, ever be blind again, or allow this to happen in one’s life ever again. Now, this is easier said than done. You need a recipe if you are going to bake a cake you’ve never baked before. Quantum Freedom Healing, this Forum and real, effective tools like NARP: these are the true “keys to the kingdom” to finding your way out of the fog. Melanie helps us by giving us the recipes (NARP, for example) and even feeding us cake once in a while (just yesterday I attended an amazing Quantum healing of hers during a “prosperity” webinar she hosted. Absolutely powerful and like throwing a dart and hitting the very center of the bullseye). Please, partake. It’s like a drink of cool water in the desert.
Understand that QFH techniques can open the door to being free from the sort of “stinking thinking” that has limited us from spreading our wings and thriving as human beings on this Earth. I am but one person who feels this way, sharing my opinion here, but I saw yesterday as hundreds, perhaps thousands of people, live and on the Internet, shared similar experiences of real trauma release and actual healing as Melanie guided us through these powerful techniques. This is a good, safe space. These techniques are real. The people here are kind and helpful. Partake.
May you heal and thrive.
Hi Man From California,
It was such a JOY to have you in the group on the weekend!!
Thank you for your powerful endorsement and fantastic information. Everything you say is very true!
I appreciate you on our wonderful community blog very much.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Wow, I am honored at your reply!
Thank you Melanie, this is yet another great piece of your work thats always reach deep in my heart. Your blog always open up my heart to realise that I haven’t been true to myself and have let people be the centre of attention thinking that they will give me what I am looking for, not knowing I have to get it within myself.
Thank you, keep being our shinning light that show us the perfect way to go in and not out.
Hi Slindile,
please know how welcome you are and thank you for your lovely words.
Much Love to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Melanie, NARP fell into my life at the moment it was needed , when I had been ‘brougnt to my knees’.
Anything I could say has been said sooooo many times before but just one more thank you never hurt.
ALL your material is so clear. The beauty of it is that when my eyes’ were open to it and I started to do the work in NARP I was getting immediate relief with every Module I went through. Accompanying the relief, every time, came a realization and action which moved me towards reclaiming myself, innerly and outwardly. It felt like magic.
Now four and a half years later I continue to use the tools I acquired from your NARP and Quantum Freedom program.
My soul wants to sing out how ‘easy’ it is to come ‘home’ to ourselves with quantum healing.
thank you,
Marcelle Lavoie
Oh Marcelle,
what you have experienced is SOOOO the truth!!!
I’m so happy for you and I want this for everyone – this is why I am so passionate about sharing NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp with the world.
Much Love and many more blessings to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Melanie, thank you for sharing. Your authenticity shines through and offer much help to those suffering and in despair. You’re a beacon of hope for many of us. Keep doing your beautiful work!
Thank you Yvonne,
Much Love to you lovely lady!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Worshiping another is idolatry. And the co-dependent turns their eyes toward the narcissist rather than God. Only God can change a person, and that person must want to change. But narcissists don’t believe they need to change because they are self-deceived. Their false self is smarter than everyone, more superior than all, they are entitled etc. They become their own God. Yet, God uses the narcissist to show the co-dependent their weaknesses, so He can come in and heal them. They way to do this is to give up our hurts to God, to let go of trying to fix the narcissist to fix ourselves, to just let God, no matter what that looks like. We must embrace the pain and walk through it to get to the other side. Quantum Healing is just a fancy way of saying Somatic healing through visualization, body memory release, reparenting, and letting God’s spirit supernaturally fill the love voids deep within us. This does work if one commits to the process. But, as a Christian, I am very careful about whom I release things to and whom I call into myself. If the wrong thing enters, it could be classified as New Age.
I offer to remind Lena how Mel is always very careful to ask permission to “enter.” This is a deliberate boundary, both “setting” on Mel’s part (to say “hey”) and “accepting” on the “many of us part” as we open our hearts and minds. You are quite correct to point out this boundary and concepts of worship and idolatry; thank you, that is something I also underscore as important.
Yes, QFH might sound like a new age-y buzzword, but it really is the same old (good) “wine,” but not necessarily in new bottles. This is good old-fashioned (yet, not everybody is treated to such good stuff, sadly) healing, visualization and, as you say (Lena), “filling the love voids deep within us.” (Dang, that is head-noddingly well-stated).
See, people, (if you are on this frequency of mine, still kind of low-level at times) you have to be careful with this stuff. You have to be ready. You have to be an adult. You have to be able and willing to let something enter you and “show you something.” It might be scary, it might be enlightening, it might be a nothing-burger. Mel is so kind and polite, she always asks us, and trusts that we are adults, and we say “yes, I am open.” It is good that we are “vigilant,” too! I’m glad to underscore that with you, Lena; thank you!
Hi Melanie, this article has rung true for me. It showed me that ever since I was a kid I believed that I was dumber than everyone else due to my math and English skills we’re not as fast as everyone else. I now realize through Quantum Freedom Healing that I am NOT dumb, I just do it differently and come to the same correct answer as everyone else. And the narcissist in my life isn’t smarter or better at these than me. I handle these around me just fine without him, so I am going into a situation this week where I will need to stand up and defend my decision not to supplement his trip. I am working to reinforce my inner self to stand ferm.
Dear Melanie,
Much of my adult life has been “swimming in the spheres” of the type of spirituality you describe.
I am at a place now of open inquiry in discovering (uncovering) your perspective, experience. So, this is like finding solid ground after flailing about in the sea grasping for floating debris to keep me from drowning.
I struggle with all the things you say will be the experience early on- brain fog, confusion, self doubt and recriminations.
I am determined to keep on keepin’ on uncovering, accepting and applying your program of recovery. There are many years and layers of abuse conditioning to overcome, as I finally identified my Mother (now 98, I’m 71) and only Sibling, Corp Atty brother, as NPDisordered. And, I expand to understand more fully my Codependent ways in those relationships. The whole dynamic took me down to places of incomprehensible demoralization when my husband died and I faced a cancer diagnosis a month later. That “double whammy” of 2014-15 brought the patterns from ALL of my life fiercely into play. I’ve been 18 years floating from addiction therapy and support groups to “woke Spirituality” and Spiritualists uncovering past lives and cords needing to be cut from binding connections…
I DID find the clarity and courage to make a move 3 years ago that put me a distance of 400 miles from them. Much work done, more to be revealed.
Yep
Describes me to a tee….
the more abuse the closer I felt to healing … what a false belief that is…
A side note about astrology.
North Node in Taurus is all about recovering from a deep soul wound of Narcissism,. And the journey inward with ourselves is our greatest freedom and potential life of truth and abundance…
So true Vicki!
That is my North Node too.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋