Tag: relationships

Stop Being The Scapegoat

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

When you are living with narcissistic abuse, you may have felt like everything is your fault.

When you understand and become more versed on how narcissists operate, you begin to realise that narcissists project their disowned unacceptable parts on to you and make you out to be the enemy.

Narcissists whittle, and blast away at your self-worth and self-belief, and because the arguments and tirades become so disturbing, so exhausting and so painful you will at these times be constantly defending yourself, fighting for your integrity and trying against all odds to prove that you are a good person with integrity, and it’s the narcissist that is actually these things which he or she is accusing you of. Continue reading “Stop Being The Scapegoat”

Why Does Abuse Keep Happening to Me?

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

Have you ever asked yourself this question? Have you been devastated, infuriated and frustrated when you realise that many of your relationships, and possibly even the one with a parent was with a narcissist?

There are Solutions

I want to take you on a little bit of an analogy here…

Can you imagine having repeated problems with a car? No matter what work you have had done on the engine, the breakdowns keep occurring. Continue reading “Why Does Abuse Keep Happening to Me?”

Have You Forgiven Yourself?

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

This week’s blog is a continuation of last week’s blog Who Is My Inner Child

Last week my client’s session was about discovering her inner child and learning how to nurture it. If you haven’t read it yet please take a look as it will help understand my client’s  next step of her journey.

This week, when my client started learning to embrace her inner child, we found the next ‘block’ preventing her inner child by being fully accepted by her. Deep down she hadn’t forgiven herself for her past behaviors and choices. She hadn’t learned to forgive herself, even though conceptually she thought she had. Continue reading “Have You Forgiven Yourself?”

Who Is My Inner Child?

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

I believe we all have an inner child. Another way to describe our inner child is our unconscious, instinctual self. This is the part of us that automatically receives messages from our outer experience, and instinctually feels a certain way about this data.

Some aspects of our inner child may be healthy, happy and safe, and others not so much. Therefore within certain topics we may feel safe and solid, and can make conscious and healthy choices about the data we receive, and other times we will be triggered and emotionally over-react and won’t. Continue reading “Who Is My Inner Child?”

How To Find True Freedom And Keep It

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

What is True Freedom? True Freedom is the ability to live your life without fear, the ability to expand and create what your heart desires, and the knowing of how freeing it is to be your Authentic Self.

True Freedom is the being at one with Self and Life. It’s about being at peace.

Sounds great doesn’t it?

But how do we get there, and most importantly how do we stay there? Continue reading “How To Find True Freedom And Keep It”

There Is No Closure With Narcissists

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

 

When we end a relationship with a narcissist – it can be a terrible and painful experience to realise there is no closure.

There is no “I’m sorry, I treated you terribly”, there is the absence of “I realise that if I had done things differently we could have worked”, or “The way I treated you was disgraceful”. Often, horrifically, there is no explanation for the cruel ability to abuse and manipulate you, and then discard, abandon and move on as if you never existed.

Most narcissistic abuse sufferers struggle terribly with this – and experience the anguished feelings of “What did I REALLY mean to him or her?” Continue reading “There Is No Closure With Narcissists”

How To Get Your Needs Met In Your Relationship

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

Did you know that many people think they are trying to get their needs met in love, yet are actually doing the exact opposite or what it takes to Get What They Want?

I’ll give you an example.

Let’s say you have your heart set on a man who is non-committal and unavailable. He makes hints that there is a future for the two of you, yet right now you don’t have a rock-solid relationship with him. Continue reading “How To Get Your Needs Met In Your Relationship”

Release Codependency By Working On You!

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

Codependency is a state of being that we have all been conditioned to live by.

Unfortunately, from birth, we are taught that happiness comes from something outside of ourselves, and to find it, we must first obtain something external to ourselves. It could be a love partner, a group of friends or possessions such as a new house or car.

We use these things to define our sense of self-worth. The problem is that the conditioning of codependency over many years has become a part of you, and it can be difficult to break when you first choose to shift to independence, or as I like to call it, “True Self.” Continue reading “Release Codependency By Working On You!”

Are You Sensitive to Other People’s Energy?

Posted on by Melanie Tonia Evans

Chances are if you opened this email you may be…And chances are if you are a ‘sensitive’ (which is most people that are interested in self-development and spirituality) you know that you ‘pick up’ on other’s people’s energy, and that if you’re not careful, it can affect you considerably.

It is a lovely trait to be aware of others, and compassionate and attentive to other people’s needs. However there is a fine line between being aware of your environment and being totally engulfed by your environment. Continue reading “Are You Sensitive to Other People’s Energy?”

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