Melanie Tonia Evans

8 Things You Need To Know When Dealing With A Narcissist

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans Permalink 58
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Written By   Melanie Tonia Evans

 

When dealing with a narcissist normal ‘human’ rules don’t apply!

You can’t talk sense, be heard or reach a resolution.

In fact, the narcissist DOESN’T want ANY resolution.

So how do you deal with these individuals?

How CAN you get peace, sanity, release, relief and your life back?

Soooo many of you have asked me ‘How do I DEAL with this person?”

Well… today’s information is going to HELP you beyond measure because I’m giving you the absolute sure-fire 8 ways that you can DEAL with a narcissist … powerfully and effectively.

If you want to cut out all the bamboozles, word-salad, three-ring circus, confusion, and pain whilst trying to deal with a narcissist … as well as the FEAR of what they could do to you … today’s Thriver Tv episode grants you the 8-step proven formula.

I can’t wait for you to watch, absorb this in and know how to DEAL with a narcissist for REAL.

 

 

Video Transcript

People ask me all the time – how do I deal with a narcissist?

Today I’m going to cut right to the chase and tell you –the 8 things I know that absolutely will help you deal with a narcissist.

And be prepared because some of these things may not be what you thought.

Today, by watching this video you will know exactly how to handle any narcissist in your life, no matter who they are or how dodgy, confusing or slippery they are.

It’s taken me over a decade and working with thousands of people’s recoveries to work this formula out – and it stands up – every time. No narcissist can take you down if you apply this.

I really mean it, ever.

First of all, we really have to be careful to know that we are dealing with a narcissist, because a lot of people bandy around the term. Let’s clarify:

A narcissist is someone who displays pathological lying, conscienceless behaviour at the expense of others and it is all about them. They also have a very poor concern or consideration for others, treats them as objects, are highly entitled and are not sorry or accountable for their behaviour. This is consistently how a narcissist rolls.

If someone in your life is like this, you need to know that the normal rules for engaging with other human beings does not apply here.

Hence why these specific 8 things are necessary to know.

Okay and just before I get started on these – I just want to check in with you Dear Thriver-To-Be, if you haven’t already please make sure to subscribe to my channel and leave a like if this video resonates with you!

 

Step 1 – Be Impervious To Being Love-Bombed

Narcissists are extremely manipulative and cunning. They know how to appeal to you, charm you and tell you whatever you want to hear to gain your confidence.

As sensible adult human beings, we need to understand narcissist or not, or potential narcissist, the only way you can ascertain someone’s true character is over time by getting to know them.

If we are feeling empty and hungry for love, compliments, recognition or for whatever someone is offering us, such as the potential to make business deals and money, we are susceptible to abusers.

If we feel empty and like we ‘need’ someone to fill that gap for us, then an expert manipulator knows all they need to do is show up as ‘the solution’ for us to jump straight in and believe them.

 

Step 2: Listen To Your Intuition Even Though Your Personality May Not Recognise A Toxic Person

Your Inner Being knows the difference. If you feel twingey inside, or if something feels off there is every chance it is. If you find yourself feeling like something is wrong and then start making excuses in your head, you are definitely in Wrong Town and heading into treacherous waters.

This means you need to confront things, you need to speak up.

 

Step 3: Lose the Fear of Criticism, Rejection, Abandonment and Punishment For Speaking Up

We all know that CRAP of handing our power away! So many people, when confronted with someone who they find toxic, questionable, inauthentic or intimidating are terrified of speaking up.

But you may not realise that this is a huge evolution graduation point that you just must pass. If you can’t stand up, show up and speak up then you are never being a self-generative force of your own safety, and unsafe and abusive people and situations will continue to enter your life experience reflecting to you your lack of self-safety on the inside.

Narcissists will keep coming one after the other after the other and no amount of ‘trying to pick them’ is going to make one ounce of difference. This is your healing and evolution lesson to start laying boundaries and honouring yourself.

Here you have an incredible opportunity to not only flush out a narcissist because they all unravel when you shine a big bright light on them, but it will also evolve you beyond them, if you do this and then keep working with the further steps.

Have you ever wondered why narcissists and abusive people keep coming into your life? Does this make sense now? If this is a light bulb moment for you, I want you to tell me in the comments below.

 

Step 4: Have No Attachment To Them Getting It and Doing the Right Thing

This is one of the biggest hooks that narcissists get you with and use to keep you hooked up to the handing over of attention and narcissistic supply.

The narcissist does not have the capacity to come into the consciousness of being able to have empathy, concern or awareness about other people’s feelings and needs, and as the centre of their own universe has no desire to.

One of the biggest soul and evolution lessons we learn from the narcissist is that it’s only when we lose our dependencies and stop trying to force other people to validate, confirm us and grant us what we believe we need, that we are free to be these sources to ourselves, unshackled by the trauma of those who can’t and won’t.

 

Step 5: Lose the Fear of What the Narcissist May Do Next

Narcissists don’t like losing you as a source of narcissistic supply. When you are dancing around their wounds trying to fix them, appease them and make deals with them, they have control of you. When you remove these things, they can get down and dirty.

This is when they will try to find your weak link. For you it could be guilt, compassion, accusing you or wrongdoing, threats to damage things that matter to you, blackmail, withholding money or support, taking your property or children, threats to replace you with new supply, promises of amends, fake apologies and crocodile tears …. The list goes on and on.

This is where you need to detox every trauma inside you that is keeping you attached to the fear and pain of what a narcissist may do to you and caving into their onslaughts, tactics, hoovering or love-bombing. (The NARP 10-step Module process is very thorough and effective to release and eliminate these hooks.)

It’s your fear, emotional pain and unhealed inner wounds that feeds the narcissist the bullets to keep shooting you with. When you release all of that, you will see how powerless narcissists really are.

 

Step 6: Create Powerful Boundaries

Most people think someone must respect your boundary for it to be respected.

No, they don’t – you just need to enforce it.

Boundaries are not done with lecturing or prescribing to someone. They are done through action. An explanation is not necessary, only the execution.

If someone refuses to respect your values, heart, needs, feelings and boundaries, don’t argue, lecture and prescribe – detach and start generating your True Life without them.

Don’t tell a narcissist you are leaving, and the relationship is over. Just do it and block and delete all means of contact.

If harassed, take out an intervention order.

Bingo! Over and out!

 

Step 7: Release the Trauma, Fear, Pain and Shame Regarding the Inevitable Smear Campaigns

Again, like everything I share with you, this relates to the Quantum Law of so within, so without. If you are traumatised by what people think of you, you are going to have a really hard time.

If you release all your terrors of persecution, abandonment, exile and even possible annihilation with NARP (these are huge core human wounds), be yourself, only care about healing what YOU think of YOU, and get on with the generation of your own amazing life, you will discover that people will effortlessly come to you, agree with you and shun the narcissists attempts to discredit you.

There is nothing for you to fix or amend with others, this is really about healing your core relationship with yourself – and then as it does all else follows.

So within, so without – you will see.

 

Step 8: Deal With Authorities Calmly and Clearly Without Triggers

I know this is so difficult to achieve, and it can seem like all systems, authorities and legal personnel are corrupt, against you and even narcissistic themselves.

It’s here that I want to talk to you about ‘I am’ energy that creates miracles in even the most difficult of circumstances.

It goes like this:

  • I am showing up in integrity and solidness without emotional triggers detailing me.
  • I am unattached to outcomes.
  • I am in the knowing that this experience has been chosen for my higher evolution and there are no mistakes here.

By losing all traumas connected to these situations, you will start to show up calmly, cleanly and honestly. Have your facts, expose the narcissist’s behaviour with evidence unemotionally and don’t diagnose that the narcissist is a narcissist.

That is when, the right people start to show up and things start falling into place and line up in your favour.

If you work at these states, you will be beyond formidable.

I can’t tell you how many Thrivers in this community have won all sorts of battles against narcissists where authorities have been involved, by working at their Inner Being to reach these states.

In fact it isn’t just possible – it truly is inevitable.

You can check out my Thriver stories to research some of these and also any Thrivers out there, who have won with authorities against narcissists, please be as kind to share your experience below to help inspire others who are still battling with this.

 

Okay, so, if you work through these 8 things with gusto, and at shifting the traumas out that arise as you do so, you will graduate.

You will know that you can handle any narcissist and then Life will say “Okay you’ve got this now” meaning they will disappear from your path. You’ve learned what you needed to.

But you need to deal and NOT be scared of dealing first.

So now I want to invite you to get down to the dealing and becoming a narc-proof boss, which you can do by signing up to my free inner transformational resources. This is where we do the real inner work to make this happen, quickly and powerfully.

Just click this link and you are on your way.

Okay, so if you liked this video, click the like button, and if you want to see more of my videos please subscribe so you will be notified as soon as each new one is released. And please share with your communities, so that we can help people awaken to these truths and put an end to narcissistic abuse for real.

And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.

 

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Melanie Tonia Evans is an international narcissistic abuse recovery expert. She is an author, radio host, and founder of Quanta Freedom Healing and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program. Melanie's healing and teaching methods have liberated thousands of people from the effects of narcissistic abuse world-wide.

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75 Thoughts on 8 Things You Need To Know When Dealing With A Narcissist
  • catanamiller2018@gmail.com'
    Cate Miller
    February 7, 2019

    I so appreciate all of your work. You have lovingly helped me get through my 8 step plan with my narc ex. I realized through this horrible relationship, that, having been raised by a narcissist mother, and myself being an empath, I struggled my whole life with needing acceptance and affirmation from her! I never understand you’re sometimes she was so”loving” (luring the supply) and then, alternating with all the vengeful behavior a narcissist parent displays.

    So, I believe I attracted Narcissistic people, in a subconscious attempt to prove that I could help and “fix” her (them) with my psych knowledge and experience!. But, not only was I not prepared for some the covert narcissistic manipulation, of course we can’t fix or change their hearts! Thus, I have never been able to prove that my mom can change. Now, I just have to accept who she is. But, also, stop trying to change the world while letting narcs ruin my world!. Thank you again for helping me have this revelation!

    • kak41@aol.com'
      Karen
      February 7, 2019

      Thank you for your generosity & genuine understanding. I was married to a dangerous Narsissst, also diagnosed as a Controlled Sociopath. After 35 years of marriage, physical, emotional & financial abuse, I pray I am on the road to healing. He did take my 2 grown sons. How? I gave them my unconditional love. My family recognized something was wrong with him, but at 19, I did not see it. I am now disabled, alone, but it is the lonliness I find overwhelming. I miss my sons daily, their Father gave them illicit drugs. My therapist asked me a question, “ If you met your sons for the first time, yet you knew what you know about them today, would you want to be friends with them?” I immediately responded “ no.” Yet I love them & miss them they behave just like their Father. They have abandoned me. I have no family, few friends because I no longer work. I stay busy, volunteer, visit friends, yet there is a deep, blistering hole in my chest that never heals. I am truly alone. I love people, children, nature but have lost interest & motivation in most activities. I must force myself to go out. My therapist said “ you may never recover but you can heal.” How long does that take? I am no longer 20. I once had a beautiful & joyful life, but it all changed the day I married him. Everyone saw a change in me. How do I move on alone, without a support system, w/o a friend to call, pleading for them to spend moments with me? My therapist advised me to remove all toxic people from my life. I have. I feel I am existing, not living. I allowed a low life entity to steal money, lie & undermine me behind my back, w/ my grown sons, who I suspect I will never see again. I would be lying if I said I did not think about exiting the planet. I think of it frequently, yet I know intellectually, to have positive thoughts. Allow the negative but do not dwell. I do not. But a Saturday is like a Wednesday. Everyday is a duplication of the one before. I once loved life, loved waking up looking forward to the day. I no longer remember what that feels like. He is not winning, he is ill. I do not care what happens to him. It is me. I have tried everything but yet I make no progress. If there is progress it is indisernabke, incremental. I am starting to believe, maybe there is no help for me, no hope. I would rather have 1 year of joy & happiness, than 20 years of misery. I am lost. Alone. Lonely. I am incredibly strong which is how I made it this far. But I am getting tired of searching for decent, quality people. They r hard to find. I do want to leave this planet. It can be so unforgiving , so cruel but also incredibly beautiful. I simply believe my time has ended. I heard a quote, I would like to share: “ Living is hard, dying is hard, but the most difficult of all is letting go.” I think of what I will miss: The Sea & kind human touch. That is all I will miss. Thank you for listening. To all of you, stay strong, never let a day pass w/o doing a kindness for someone, learn something new every day. And never miss an opportunity to hold your child, even if that child is 30, hold them tightly & tell them they are your light, your love, your beacon to find your way home again. Thank you.

      • teresa.lynn.fowler@gmail.com'
        Teresa
        February 7, 2019

        💕😥wish I could give you a hug. You are not alone. 😍

      • pjwordsmith@msn.com'
        PJ
        February 7, 2019

        Hi, Karen — I’m sending a hug your way and a prayer God’s way for you! 💞✝️🙏

      • Melanie Tonia Evans
        February 7, 2019

        Hi Karen,

        My heart goes out to you.

        Sweet lady I can’t even begin to imagine the heartache and suffering you have been through, and I totally won’t pretend to.

        This I do know and have seen in my life and countless others in this community, that when we start getting the trauma out of our inner beings, which has been inflicted on us, that our emotions and then many other things begin to heal.

        Often in ways that we never believed were possible.

        I’d love to invite you to hold my hand and explore this hope.

        Maybe just as I and many others did, we found this way when there was nothing left to lose.

        The starting point is here: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

        All my love and healing to you.

        Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • helenrc8@outlook.com'
        Helen
        February 7, 2019

        There is only one way and that is to love yourself more than a toxic relationship. It means recognising the old patterns which felt good but were bad and relearning what healthy feels like. It sounds a bit like one of Mel’s programmes. These things take a lot of time on both a healing and awareness level. Learn to love yourself more and say no to manipulative selfish people. Sometimes that does mean being alone for a while especially if one has lost fundamental social networks and isn’t quite as physically free as in one’s youth. As long as you are loving you. Bless you.

      • bmurch328@aol.com'
        Barbara
        February 7, 2019

        Karen, I feel your pain! You have made a brave decision to let go of a very unhealthy relationship. You are stronger than you think! Let the healing come now dear sister. I believe the beautiful, joy filled life you desire will return in time! Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

      • alter49@comcast.net'
        Elizabeth Alter
        February 8, 2019

        I really, really get what you are saying. I have had suicidal ideations related to this sort of situation. Here is asuggestion, and I know it might sound pointless, but I think it will help you slowly but surely find your way: without any defenses or self-criticism, go outside with a pen or pencil and a piece of paper, sit down in front of something beautiful or intriguing, maybe a a flower, a tree branch, and look at it as carefully as you can and draw what you see. And keep doing it, without judging yourself or the outcome. Do this hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. Love what you see, love being, love doing. I think this will help you reconnect to both the beauty that is outside of you and within you. No negative self-judgements! Just Do It!

      • deerogers90@gmail.com'
        debbie
        February 8, 2019

        You are not alone Karen, I am thinking about you right now. Sending you a warm hug, bless you sweetheart.

      • jnewton502719@gmail.com'
        Julie
        February 8, 2019

        Your story is partially mine. I’m at the point there is no one to talk to, no one. Give me a boost of confidence and then went to tell my story too. I want to let go so bad and I am so lonely. There is no other man. There is no one that I can call my own and give me the gentle touches and that a person needs everyday. I want to kick myself everyday for wanting him in my life and by my side because it’s all a false story. There is no one I’d rather talk to you and yet I know I don’t belong with him and I’m having trouble keeping no contact when he is just a liar and the thief of my heart. I don’t want to feel this need anymore. It hurts so very much. No one in the world seems to care.

      • lvddep830@protomail.com'
        LILI
        February 8, 2019

        Dear Karen,

        I can feel your pain as mine and you are not alone! From my experience, I can tell you from the deep of my heart that I was feeling in the deep on a hole, where all was darkness and I tried everything, every course, therapy, lesson… and the only thing that is helping me heal AND recover is NARP. I enrolled in the program with 0% faith and absolutely hopeless and being honest when I started it my faith came to a negative number. But I did my work, I work with the modules and this brought me back to life again!!! I’m still dealing with him since he is my son’s father, but I won full custody after years of panic, lies, and abuse. You are not alone, you just have to get yourself back to you. You are powerful and love, you just need to commit with yourself and give you the chance to come alive again.

      • Laura-leonards@hotmail.com'
        Laura
        February 11, 2019

        Dear Karen,

        I ‘m so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way😢 Even though I, m not in the situation you, re in, I can imagine how incredibly lonely you must feel. And how sometimes you feel like living on this planet is no longer worth it.

        I too am “alone”. My mom and dad are both narcissists, my mom is still alive, my dad died two years ago. I have one brother whom I have no contact with (he won, t allow me) who also displays highly narcissistic tendencies.
        The only family I have, are my aunt and uncle, who live far away from me. I have developed such severe ptsd I could no longer work. Even though I have no children, and I can only imagine how it must feel to loose your children… I do know what is feels like to be alone… Utterly alone.

        This is a feeling that I cannot explain to my friends, who have their families with them…
        But I do know this. When I started researching narcissism and found Narp and the Narp forum, I found out how many good, loving people feel the same loneliness as I do.
        Even though it might seem like you, re alone out there, you are not!
        I, ve read so many stories of mothers or fathers loosing their children to the narcissist. As wel as loosing your mom, dad, brother or sister… Or sometimes even all of your family because they are narcissists or siding with the narcissist.
        It, ‘s truly awful, but please realize, you are not alone! And reach out to other people who have to deal with narcissists to find that so many of their stories are like yours.
        It does not heal the inner wounds or the inner work that needs to be done, but it might help you feeling less isolated.

        I pray for you, that you, ll find the love in yourself… For yourself.. And that life will reflect that back to you by giving you loving and caring people around you💖🙏
        I, ve had so many narcissists in my life the last couple of years, I lost count. But doing the inner work to love myself for who I am has now brought some good friends into my life.
        Don, t give up. This, when done right, can only create a better version of you… Version 2.0😉 and attract into your life truly loving people…
        I wish you all the best of luck!

        Love, Laura

      • triciajoelle@gmail.com'
        Trish
        February 12, 2019

        Karen… I’m truly so sorry. I can’t tell you that I know what it feels like to lose a child, I do know what it’s like to have a heart ache for not having a child (busy dealing with N, 24/7 with clock running out.) I’m in this for 20 years, and the reason I stay? I have no one. Here’s my thought process- with no money or work skills, I’ll be on the street. What happens if my car breaks down? What happens if I need a ride to/from a surgery? What happens if….? And, how do I spend 24/7 in total solitude? So, I give you so much credit for being a shining light and taking the step into what I am terrified of experiencing. I’m too exhausted surviving to go through the emotional stress of transitioning out of this. And, like you, I’ve done every imaginable healing modality on this earth… that was free.. holistic an otherwise.. with no results. And, I got angry at “why do I have to heal myself and HE”S the problem!” Today I had a huge “ah ha”. 1) surrender. The powers that be are more powerful than myself. 2) Look at him as the mentally unstable person he is, not frustration in “why can’t he… does he…?” 3) Take care of myself. I started Womens Qi Qong, along with nutritional therapy (again free information from the internet), and Melanie’s information is invaluable in understanding and working through the process… and for the first time in 20 years, I started to refocus, dream, allow, flow. rise above… even while living with him. (And yes, I”m bracing for the backlash with my newfound energy shift.) Lastly, I do know “don’t want to be here.” So many nights my prayer was “God, get me out of here, or off this earth… the option of being in this hell is excruciating and not an option. Sometimes I am amazed I am still alive. Please remember.. as you read through the responses to your post… your are loved, we are all one, and as you hang on, another hangs on… as you have even a brief moment of “no pain”, you effect another. It’s like that old adage… “when a butterfly flutters its wings in Japan, a butterfly in Canada feels it”. And I know that sounds all nice and good, and all you want is relief for an hour from the pain that seems never ending…. Please know that you are supported, you are not alone, you are truly loved in this “sorority” of survivors… and you are so brave. Be proud that you are still breathing with the heartache you are carrying. That is a testament to how much you are needed on this earth. He/ This/ It did not break you. With hugs and love and admiration…… Trish

      • saritabraggcreek@gmail.com'
        Sarita
        February 21, 2019

        I am so sad that your world is dark, the world needs more kind, and gently loving people like yourself. You need to step outside and feel the sunshine and reconnect with the love of yourself. Please turn your light back on so that others can see it! I’m just divorcing my husband and ending our 25 year relationship, my three kids are caught in the mess. Thru this program, mediation and yoga; I have discovered myself again. The quantum healing exercises have made the difference, I’m finally able to sleep again.

      • Kelseytheoracle@gmail.com'
        Kelsey
        May 8, 2019

        You are never alone!!

      • siviviktor@gmail.com'
        Viktor
        May 9, 2019

        Karen, have you considered going to groups, like local Bible groups, or group counseling sessions? Even if it’s AA a lot of times even if you’re not an alcoholic they talk a lot about toxic people and how to deal with them, and you can meet some really nice loving people there.

        Karen, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. I think so many years of abuse have left you in a state where you are constantly allowing that little terrorist in your head, that your lifelong “partner” turned even more evil against you, by reinforcing the negativity and making it exponentially get worse over the years, well you need to STOP LISTENING TO THAT EGO TERRORIST IN YOUR MIND telling you that you’re not good enough, that you don’t deserve to be happy, that your life is over, that you’re too old to find happiness, that it’s too late or that this is it for you. BECAUSE IT’S NOT. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE.

        Karen, people who are 60 still go to college. I went to community college at 25 years old, and I felt so bad, that students would point and laugh at me, and then I noticed that at least 30% of the students were all older than me! And now, I don’t feel bad taking classes at college at any age! I am 29 by the way now.

        But Karen, please, please please please don’t be alone, don’t hide from people. We aren’t meant to be alone. Go to some meetings, go join some groups, and at first, just sit in and listen, you don’t have to share if you don’t want to, but within a few weeks you will have all kinds of friends who will love you for who you are! I can promise you that. You deserve love, friendship and happiness. Don’t you give up! And hey, feel free to email me any time. I am from the Northwest and I know what it’s like dealing with emotional abuse. Many times, it seems, dealing with the pain and recovery of extensive emotional abuse can be tougher than dealing with recovering from physical abuse, because emotional abuse seems to have so many more layers to it. And I am not trying to take anything away from people who have been physically abused, I know it has its own challenges. But emotional abuse is no joke. Emotional abuse has the power to kill, literally.

        Karen, I really hope you are doing OK. But I want you to be doing well. You deserve to be doing well. I wish I could give you a big hug ma’am. I never respond to these, but your message touched my heart. Because I also know what it’s like to be and feel alone. But I’m making changes now and things are looking up, and so can you! Karen, don’t you stay discouraged! Don’t you even dare stay discouraged! Don’t shut yourself in. Everything can and WILL get better. Just reach out. Reach out, and the right people will show up. I promise. Just reach out.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2019

      Hi Cate,

      You are most welcome.

      I’m so happy for you that you have clarity and are taking your power back.

      Love and blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • sheris_angels@hotmail.com'
    Sheri
    February 7, 2019

    I was with a narc for almost 10 years have a daughter together & it’s been one of the hardest things I e been put thro. I’m away from him now & just recenyhad to block him from contacting via phone… I called him out on using our daughter as a tool to get new supply & he threw a huge tantrum. My daughter is very unhappy with him bringing her to different women’s houses calling them just friends. It’s been very hard on her. I’ve become stronger from this experience, learn & grow everyday but I am very worried about my daughter. I have had good talks with her about personality disorders & it’s not ok to treat people like they are objects & as long as her dad is good to her hoping that they have a good relationship outside of how she sees him treat women. I tell her that I’m there for her & support her. To just concentrate on being a kid & try to have happy times with her dad the best she can. It’s important for her to have time with him I just worry his narc ways will effect her negativitly .. the toxic part .. but my daughter has me & my older daughter & son are very close & are always here for her. I still have dreams with my ex controlling me. It’s been a long tough road & I’ve had an amazing therapist whose helped me so much over the last 4 years. I also just graduated from a trade school trying to put my life in order. Your read about the 8 steps is awesome to read.. I read everything on narcs & the abuse that has also helped me a lot being informed is such a great protection of knowing your not alone & u can get out from it. I do sometimes worry about the things my ex says because my daughter caught him lying to someone about me & my daughter called him out, but hearing I shouldn’t worry from your 8 steps reconfirms I need to not overthink that stuff.. it’s hard sometimes. Thank you Melanie for helping get thru the narcissistic abuse.. I’ve been a subscriber for the last 3 years you’ve helped ALOT! Thank u ❤️

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2019

      Hi Sheri,

      I’m so pleased my material has helped you a lot.

      I really want to ask you have you taken your healing beyond just my information to inner transformational?

      The difference in us and the flow on empowerment to our children, even when co/parenting is like night and day when we do.

      I can’t suggest you take that plunge enough – my 16 day resource http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse and specifically NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      There are so many people who have been with me for years, that when they take this step, wonder why they didn’t earlier.

      I hope this helps!

      Love and healing to you and your daughter.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Marcystevenskimball@gmail.com'
    Marcy
    February 7, 2019

    Thank you! I keep attracting abusive men and I’m done! Moving forward and I loved your video! Thank you Melanie.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2019

      That’s awesome you are done Marcy!

      Time to be a Thriver boss and kick that pattern to the curb.

      You’ve got this!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Bee_mac@msn.com'
    Lori
    February 7, 2019

    Thank you!
    I am a survivor.
    Getting free soon. I am not wasting any mor with a man who is abusive and mean.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2019

      You are welcome Lori,

      It’s your time to heal and Thrive!

      Blessings and breakthroughs to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • hankwitzs@earthlink.net'
    Scott
    February 7, 2019

    Going through something like this is actually very enlightening. I wondered for years why I always had that nagging feeling to run away from the relationship. Things never made sense. The stories never added up. The Manipulations are clear now, there have been many over the years (5+yrs) and in various forms. So many excuses. They really do have to be the center of attention. It finally took my life deteriorating and my energy being so low, my self confidence shot, struggling business and trust issues to finally push me to my final breaking point. I drew the line in the sand and she didn’t want to cross it. After the first couple of months of soul searching while dealing with the reactive rollercoaster ride of insanity I finally came across the term narcassistic. I was blown away to discover that she fit the bill to the “T”. Covert is her style. So cute, sweet and loving. Her reactions and approach really made things make sense. I also realize that I myself have some of the tendencies that seem to be more overt as in I have completely gone off on her many times. Trying to get her to be accountable for all the manipulative tactics she used. All the lies and guilt trips. The main difference I see is that I do have empathy, I do care. I don’t just say I love someone I actually show it through my actions and through support. I have empathy, I can put myself in someone’s shoes. I can be pretty hurtful though and through all the breakups I take responsibility for my own way of reacting. I realize now, that is exactly what she wanted was a reaction! No wonder I felt so drained. For those of you reading this, learn to respond and not react. They know how to drive you mad. This has been a very confusing ride. I really had high hopes we would work on things together but it has become obvious that now she is the victim and back to the silent treatment. For all the lovey dovey words it is so strange to me to get the cold shoulder and feel so un-loved. How can someone tell you that you are the love of their life, best friend, other half, etc. and then never be there when you need them or care about how you are doing? I realize it is actually the best thing that could have happened. Better to know now than in another 5+ years. What a spiritual battle it has been. At least I know where I stand now and any hope of reconciliation has slowly left my heart. The amazing part is my energy and enthusiasm is back. Life is slowly but surely getting better. And I am much more aware now thanks in large part to you and your advice. Thank you so much!!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2019

      Awww gosh Scott, I am so glad you are getting clarity now!

      Please don’t be so hard on yourself for your reactions. If we are around abusive boundary pushing people … and stay … when they have zero empathy and concern for our feelings we get sick.

      We also become extremely triggered and nasty – because we are continually getting hurt and invalidated.

      I promise you that after exiting such relationships and forming new ones with healthy people, you realise that you are not a nasty person at all.

      And that there are people who don’t behave like the previous narcissist – people that it is easy to be in relationship with.

      You will see, and I thoroughly believe it’s like this … look at the rest of your life. Do your relationships primarily work? Are you reasonable and able to resolve conflicts or any other challenge?

      There is none of that with narcissists.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • Hankwitzs@earthlink.net'
        Scott Hankwitz
        February 21, 2019

        You are an amazing woman and very wise! Each day gets better and better. Just as we slowly “lost” ourselves into the relationship, once free we slowly re-gain and re-energize ourselves by removing the malignant spirit from our lives. xoxoxoxoxoxo Have a great day!!

    • triciajoelle@gmail.com'
      Trish
      February 12, 2019

      Scott! How refreshing to hear a mans perspective, and a reminder that narcissistic abuse is NOT gender specific! Thank you! I could’ve written your post… exception the last 3 sentences… but I’m getting there! Thank you for sharing that it does get better… and the process from “hello” to “goodbye”. It always amazes me that I say “me too! OMG!” It takes away the isolation… when “don’t bother explaining this to anyone who’s never experienced it… they just won’t get the depths of insanity.” i wish you well in your continued growth!

      • hankwitzs@earthlink.net'
        Scott Hankwitz
        February 21, 2019

        Hang in there Trish and have self confidence and do the internal work of recognizing and letting go of not only what was done to you but what you may have done in return. Don’t use it as an excuse but as a means of personal growth. Be a better you! You will come out on top and they will always be the same. God will bless those who let go of the Jezebel Spirit who is infecting their life. Have Faith and be Strong!

        Melanie Rocks!

  • sally.rainbird@outlook.com'
    Sal
    February 7, 2019

    Thank you for your insightful information Melanie. I went through narcissistic abuse almost 2 decades ago and as you have said it’s nothing short of a normal experience because it is not human for sure. I found that because I was young back then and so not in my own power and naive I was a target for this to occur and I already had prior abuse leading up to this point. I found that I went into the total collapse in my narcissistic experience and could not speak up and went into freezing with my abusers much of the time. I can see how much trauma stayed trapped in my own body because I could not hold my own ground and would regress into a frightened child which is as you have said my wounds. Speaking up for me was a hard one especially with my abusers and setting boundaries I did much of what you have said to appease them or take the blame and believe the projection. Even though it’s all coming back now and it’s hit me and I realize just how much abuse I went through and how wrong and inhuman it was, I really do want to heal it because I have just survived and now hit a wall. Read a lot of information and some CBT but it just does not seem to heal the trauma that is stuck in my own body. I will come into your workshop.

    Cheers,
    Sal

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2019

      Hi Sal,

      I’m so pleased it resonates with you what the effects are of wedged internal trauma, and how living free of it is the true solution.

      That’s the game changer.

      Blessings and incredible breakthroughs to you!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • tessaveda@msn.com'
    Tessa
    February 7, 2019

    This is all very good info and spot on. Except- when you have children with the narc and they use your children to constantly threaten you. I am in a virtual holding pattern until the kids are old enough to deal with him on their own. Although these tools are very helpful in many,many ways, I must continue a healthy form of low/no contact.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2019

      Hi Tessa,

      Please know that this can apply even when coparenting.

      This resource of mine may help
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1FEY5jkpCQo And also if you google my name plus coparenting and children you will find several resources I have created on this topic.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • Willowisp64@gmail.com'
        S
        February 8, 2019

        Dear Melanie,

        Please help advise. After 8 years of leaving a narc husband because of the way he was treating me but more specifically bullying my 8 year old daughter, his campaign of destruction continues. He repartneted during our separation and is still with that woman but never stops trying to destroy me. Tried all ways to protect our daughter but of course the law stated 50/50. Now at 16 she has gone to live with him ( 5 months now with hardly any contact with her and no discussion). I’m trying to build my life and rise in empowerment following things that now give me joy. I’m
        Worried sick about my daughter but know there is little I can do. I just want her to be ok more than ok of course. Naturally as often is he case I’ve been isolated in the foreign country without support and a campaign to break me in all ways. This has been the biggest blow. Mostly I’m trusting that it will all work out and sending her love all the time. Please advise. Thank you . S

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          February 8, 2019

          Hi S,

          My greatest and only suggestion is the inner work to heal you and how you feel regardless of the outer situation.

          Then that is when it shifts.

          This is the very basis of my Thriver Work and why it is so successful, because we all eventually can learn, our only true power is within.

          This starts to explain everything about this and leads you home: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

          The relief and clarity only comes after we start healing this way – and then the results we seek follow. And it’s often not till we experience it that we can believe it.

          All my love.

          Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • dmccampbell@hotmail.com'
    David McCampbell
    February 7, 2019

    Hi Melanie Tonia!
    Just absorbed the “8 Things” TV session, and Thankyou for “being there” once again!

    Your well learned behavioral facts and the truth you speak resounds with me-so gratefully.
    With Reiki, your free seminar, meditation with your Module 1, the physical and my “hidden” emotional pain is reduced to intermittant 1/10, from quite constant 5-6/10.
    I have taken the time and begun the work, and I feel the blessings of inner awareness and healing and comfort that you speak of every time you speak.
    “It’s the only thing left to do.”
    SO TRUE!
    THE Only “thing” missing in our world is TRUE INSPIRATION, and l feel the power of your’s.
    And pass it along with family and friends.

    In “Will Narcissists Tear our World Apart” you reALLY gave the call and laid a line in sand’
    (GREAT!). You are Formidable!

    Quantum’s “as within-so without” is “the self fufilling prophecy” and “the golden rule” for all the children of the kingdom of Light.
    Thankyou for your struggles and learning, and the steady work you apply yourself to, for the awakening we need in ourselves, and this crooked old world!
    And Thankyou to your teams!

    David RN

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 7, 2019

      Hi David,

      Thank you for your lovely words, and how wonderful you are being a formidable force too!

      Thank you also for acknowledging my team. I am blessed to work with the kindest, truest, most talented people imaginable. Without them this mission would not be possible.

      Much love to you and keep up the awesome stuff!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • kathy.backus@me.com'
    Kathy B
    February 7, 2019

    I am 18 days out from a 3 day DIVORCE TRIAL with my covert narcissist. The TRAUMA runs so deep with this life experience, it is astonishing to me. My journey and work of the last 18 months in working the modules, over and over and discovering yet more trauma and being triggered again and then addressing that trauma on a yet again deeper level feels like an almost unending, arduous process. And I kept with it. As I literally face indigent status, having lost everything financially of my professional work and business of 25 years (after only ten years with the narcissist, 5 dating , 5 marriage, no children), facing a newly discovered breast lump and he stop paying for my health insurance; I weirdly have the most profound feeling of peace and love because I have surrendered and released the trauma from my body consistently as it comes up. And as we head into the trial, holding that space and feeling as I ‘deal’ with the authorities (Judge and previous bias), Melanie’s work is literally what has saved my life. I don’t know the words to implore anybody reading this to PLEASE do the work, her modules and program and quantum healing technique. Because there really isn’t anything else to do, but HEAL within so without. This is truth and ABSOLUTE in authentic integrity. IT works.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Kathy,

      I am so happy for you that you met with it. It’s so perfect that you reached that place of inner peace regardless is what was going on outside you.

      That is where our power and alchemy lies.

      You’ve got this Dear Lady.

      Continued love, blessings and breakthroughs to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • louisejones@live.ie'
    Maria
    February 7, 2019

    Hi Melanie,
    I’m just at the beginning of legal dealings, divorce papers have been served upon me and I have read and watched all of your blogs on the topic. My problem is, I have no prof of anything, it’s all my word against his and I’m not sure if I need to remain nice and not call him out in these proceedings as I have nothing to back it up with. I’m feeling really low cos I want to fight but am thinking I will come out worse off as in losing my home where myself and the children live. Any help from anyone would be greatly appreciated. I want to sign up for your program but it will be several weeks before I have the funds to do so and I need to make legal decisions now

    • marialowe82@hotmail.com'
      Maria
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Maria
      It depends on where you live and how long you have been married. If you are in the U.S. you have rights to communal property and spousal support. It’s usually best to ‘remain nice’ because men can’t handle emotional women and if you’re going to court you will be dealing with men. Have you seen a lawyer? There are many support networks for victims of abuse call a help line and they will give you local resources. A lot of these agencies offer free legal advice. Knowledge is power go find out from the right people.
      My best advice is to pray and ask for help from God and people. There are Earth Angels and Heavenly Angels all around us we just have to ask for help. Creator loves you more than you know and the planet needs us to be strong and grow from this experience.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Maria,

      Truly this is such a catch 22 because you want to make decisions to try to feel calmer, yet until we adjust and get calmer feelings any decisions we make are prone to create more trauma.

      I know that when we are cornered and triggered we are less likely to go inwards to get centring and relief, but this is truly the time when it is needed the most.

      My most pertinent suggestion, that I know can help you is my free webinar, where there is a Quanta Freedom Healing with me that will start giving you relief and solidness on the inside, which then aligns you with clarity and power in your situation.

      http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar

      There really is nothing else I know of that can work.

      I so hope this can help you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

    • saritabraggcreek@gmail.com'
      Sarita
      February 21, 2019

      Maria,

      I’m knee deep in my divorce right now, with three kids in tow. Everytime I want to prove I’m right or want justice, I end up learning a hard lesson, not my Narcissist( he’s better at this game). The only way forward is with hard evidence and fact on everything, I have become a detective/ forensic accounting. Likely you know way more then you think!

      Love from Canada!
      Sarita

  • jolley.molley@googlemail.com'
    Jean Olley
    February 7, 2019

    Dear Melanie, I have so much to thank you for. I have been in this community for a couple of years now and although I use many other methods of healing besides yours, the MTE concept was the one that put me on the path. I admire your work so much and it is for this reason that I want to offer a little note of caution. You are, at base, an undiluted soul of great discernment and when you first spoke to me of connecting back to original energy and just “knowing” that I was my own self-partner, I saw my way home. It was far distant then and there were “many rivers to cross” as the saying goes. But once I knew that I was there with myself, I knew that all was well.
    Lately, in your work I feel that you have lost this original purity of message and I see in this latest release that you promote the idea that experiences are generated for us by an outside agency to teach us lessons. This does not feel like real Melanie discernment. I would be lost if I tried to branch off down this path. No, my self-partner brings me the challenges so that I can see her more clearly and love myself more deeply. This is about me and not some great plan. You taught me that. You found that out and shared that with us all. Don’t bring outsiders into this please. Melanie do not abdicate your achievement for the sake of some other objective. Much Love and success to you always

  • lolixax@hotmail.com'
    Lily Downs
    February 7, 2019

    Dear Melanie,

    Thanks so much for all the ressources that you share. In one email that you sent you gave a link to Katherine Woodward’s seminar “the better break up”. I understood what Katherine said, i.e. that relationships are co-created, and that I have some responsibility for the relationship. I understand that I have been people-pleasing, over-giving, insecure and needy, hungry for love, and that all of these made such an abusive relationship possible. Yet I am not sure that everything that she says really applies to a relationship with a narcissist. The seminar left me somehow confused: it was about people being generous with their former partners upon breaking up (including by giving money), not giving into hatred, no matter how awful their behavior was. It was also about talking with the former partner, to make him/her understand one’s point of view/feelings and part in good terms.
    Yet, narcissists won’t take responsibility so what is the point of explaining to them why we need to leave the relationship? You said that the best way was to block all means of contact.
    I am really struggling with this issue right now: my former narcissist partner is demanding explanations as to why I left the relationship. I would absolutely love to write to him and explain why the relationship was wrong. But it would mean exposing my vulnerabilities.
    I am burning to write to him but understand that it might not be the best idea. I feel that it would make me feel better to tell him how hurtful the relationship was. Was it your advice? Is parting in good terms with a narcissist possible?
    Thanks so much!!

    • marialowe82@hotmail.com'
      Maria
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Lily
      Don’t explain anything to him!! Mel always says that you can not get resolution with these types of people so there is no point. If you must say something just say you out grew the relationship.
      In my experience the more information you give them he more they have to use against you. Do not expose your vulnerabilities to a narc! If you want to write, start a journal it’s very helpful. I found it helpful to write in the third person to get a different perspective on the abusive behavior and honestly some of my narcs behavior is hilarious when you realize what a broken place he is coming from and nothing he says actually makes sense!!!
      No explanation necessary!! Just run!!
      Maria

      • lolixax@hotmail.com'
        Lily Downs
        February 8, 2019

        Hi Maria,

        Thanks so much for your reply. That makes total sense, and I will take your advice: just run, no explanation necessary!!
        Thanks for the support, it is really key. The relationship with my narc lasted for 16 years (it was my first real relationship, I was 17 when we met) so you can imagine the confusion I’m in!!

      • saritabraggcreek@gmail.com'
        Sarita
        February 21, 2019

        Maria,

        Lily, just run! I love it and couldn’t agree more, any communication just gets spun and used against you. The Narc will never get it and always think they have been the victim; no matter what unimaginable horrible things that they will put you and your kids thru.

        Love from Canada!
        Sarita

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Lily,

      It is my absolute pleasure.

      I truly do agree that granting a narcissist any energy or explanation is inviting them to hit back with abuse.

      Are you working with NARP? http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp

      That grants you true closure, relief and solidness within self, without needing anything from the narcissist at all.

      That is my highest suggestion for you.

      Sending love and healing to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • chris.whittaker2@btinternet.com'
    Christopher
    February 7, 2019

    Hi Melanie,
    When I was a Teenager being Narcistically abused by my Mother, I was scared to stand up to her, one reason being she might kick me out of the Family home, when I was older I had this same fear when I House shared with a Narcissistic fake friend, nobody wants to end up on the street with no money and Home but when I look back I think Social services would have helped me, but it would have been a tough time, I loved your Video today,it hit the nail on the head
    Christopher

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Christopher,

      So much of our healing is about growing up from the child who was dependent on a parent, to being our own self generative source.

      This is the only way we are free of being enmeshed with and handing our power away to abusers.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • sueperreca@gail.com'
    Sue Perr
    February 7, 2019

    Hi Mel….please continue to play music at the beginning of your Thrive TV videos. It helps me focus in on the teaching.
    Thanks much Sue

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Sue,

      Thank you for your feedback and I have passed this on to the MYE team.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Mal_Ols@hotmail.com'
    Malin
    February 7, 2019

    Dear Melanie <3

    I have a question.
    I already use NARP, and I have followed you for some time.

    I can't remember that you have explained this; – "don’t diagnose that the narcissist is a narcissist."

    Why is that? I have tried this, and you are right, it has not been very well received.
    As you have written, describing their behaviour has worked really well. Out of curiosity I'd like to understand why.

    Also I'd like to make a wish/request for a upcoming video; – "it can seem like all systems, authorities and legal personnel are corrupt, against you and even narcissistic themselves."

    Personally I have found this being almost more triggering than the actual N-abuse.
    I'd love for you to guide us more deeply on this topic.

    Love and Light to you <3
    Malin

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Malin,

      This is such a good question.

      I really do believe institutions are opposed to unsubstantiated diagnosis as a matter of course.

      Generally also when people are trying to prove someone is a narcissist they are feeling powerless, thwarted and deeply victimised, which as per Quantum Law – so within, so without, means are the results that return generate more of these states.

      It has been proven time and time again, in the combating of narcissists, the people who use NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp to release their trauma and fear, and present calmly and solidly have the most powerful outcomes.

      This is because they appear believable and credible and they are generating solid outer results that match their inner being.

      Everyone and everything in our life experience responds to that.

      I love your suggestion to go deeper into this topic and I’d love to do so.

      Sending you powerful healing and breakthrough.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • jerseypeach15@yahoo.com'
    Lynne
    February 8, 2019

    Melanie.
    You are the best thing that ever happened to me, I think! I am about to disentangle myself from my 9 year relationship with a narc. Most all of your 8 points touched me in every way possible….mostly the fear of being alone, the fear of how he is going to react to the news that I have to move away (my daughter in another state needs me) and my attachment to all his reactions and actions surrounding this. Clearly I need to work on all the wounds and healing.
    I’m sure like many others, it’s as if you are speaking directly to me and my situation. I guess that’s because all of us here experience many of the same issues with the narcs in our lives. I never even knew what a Narc was, I only knew that I felt like i was going crazy. All the terms, word salad, gas lighting, etc were not a part of my vocabulary. But upon lots of research I discovered and was able to put the words and meaning behind all the actions he displayed over the years. And I’m your classic co-dependent….I’m empathetic, caring, compassionate and a great place for a narcs supply. Uchhhh, it makes me so mad, actually!!
    I actually think and believe that he doesn’t get to wreck my life. I’m resistant to handing him my power, but the wounded me talks the brave talk. When I “leave” as in sell MY house that he lives in and I move back to family, in essence I have all the power and he is left homeless with not much money….it is not my problem, and yet…my little voice tells me that i will be alone and scared and lonely, etc. (I’ve never lived alone in my life)
    I am going to be fine. We all are. Eventually. You make me feel powerful and I love that.
    Thank you.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Lynne,

      I’m so pleased I can help.

      It’s wonderful you are gaining clarity.

      I promise you that when you do the deep inner work, one by one all of these fears and self-limiting beliefs will melt away – freeing you to be your True Self and True Life.

      Have you connected to that path yet … this is the starting point: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse

      It’s your time to heal and breakthrough!

      Many blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Processing.daily@yahoo.com'
    TRAVIS
    February 8, 2019

    Thank you! So much Melanie! I love you❤️!! for what you do for helping me and so many other understand that’s deal with this behavior of codependency and whatever else that may have pledged us from childhood to allow narcissistic to take advantage of us. I can see the light at the end of this journey I have learned so much about the reason I have this emotion of trying to please someone all the time now I understand that’s how I ended up attracting the narcissist that entered my life but by the Grace of GOD and learning from lovely people like you I will survive this….

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Travis,

      It’s my pleasure!

      And Dear Man you will not just survive this, you will truly Thrive as a result of what you have been through.

      Love and blessings to you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Sandiesellsaz@gmail.com'
    Sandie
    February 8, 2019

    I am stronger today because of you

  • marialowe82@hotmail.com'
    Maria
    February 8, 2019

    My narc husband of 25 years who I am finally separating from but stiil on the same property for now says he has a Voodoo doll of me that he is sticking pins in after I had unusual severe back pain.
    What do I do about that?

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Maria,

      Psychic attack is common from narcissists, and any form of it has to be ‘accepted’ energetically by the recepient for it to have any impact.

      This includes voodoo and curses.

      The solution to this is the same for all forms of narcissistic abuse – release all trauma and fear inside us relating to what is happening.

      My NARP program does this … http://www.melanietoniaevabs.com/narp and Module 8 and 9 specifically and powerfully target your situation.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • valpal@rogers.com'
    Valerie
    February 8, 2019

    Hi Mel,

    I’ve come to understand that my former husband and one of my sons are probably Asperbergers. Are you familiar with these labels? Many asperberger men do not have empathy and never say they are sorry. They can be scarcastic, demeaning and verbally and physically abusive. Has anyone written to you about being in relationships with these men. Thanks again for all that you do.

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Valerie,

      I do know a little about Aspergers having personally known, done healings with and even had an intimate relationship with an Aspergers male.

      Some Aspergers people work very hard at being more self aware and compassionate and empathetic with people … some dont.

      I believe any person, regardless of their label, who continues to hurt you and will not recognise your feelings and apologise, is someone we can’t have a healthy and happy relationship with.

      After being in intimate relationship with a man who is non narcissistic or Aspergers who has a peripheral and empathy I can’t express how much easier, healthier and fulfilling it is.

      That’s my personal opinion.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

      • valpal@rogers.com'
        Val
        February 9, 2019

        Hi Mel and thanks so very much for your reply. It is sad that 40 years after leaving my husband who I realize now like my son probably is on the spectrum and comes under the label of Asperger. Its a very painful but also explains a lot of things, I do wonder how many women do not know enough of Asperger’s. I took your course and found it very helpful as I had extreme anxieties from childhood abuse. Thank you again. We are ALL on a journey a spiritual journey, I feel sure that my former husband and I have a sacred contact, I have forgiven him but he has not forgiven me, which is sad. I am still hopeful. Thanks again Mel. Valerie Canada

        • Melanie Tonia Evans
          February 9, 2019

          Hi Valerie,

          You are welcome, i bet this is so disappointing and painful to realise.

          That’s great you are working with NARP and I really do suggest you shift out the pain regarding him not forgiving you.

          That’s so important for you to go free.

          Much love to you.

          Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • Jasonberry@windowslive.com'
    Jason Berry
    February 8, 2019

    Narcissists don’t like losing you as a source of narcissistic supply. When you are dancing around their wounds trying to fix them, appease them and make deals with them, they have control of you. When you remove these things, they can get down and dirty.

    This is when they will try to find your weak link. For you it could be guilt, compassion, accusing you or wrongdoing, threats to damage things that matter to you, blackmail, withholding money or support, taking your property or children,

    SO TRUE
    this is what happened to me totally, after 15 years of abuse I started to shut down my relationship, mainly due to the drugs and alcohol problem my wife had as she was endangering the kids (drink driving) repeatedly…
    When I said no more booze the anger went up, when i said no more drugs the anger went up….it wasn’t because of the drugs or the booze I was shutting down her narcissistic supply and the anger went through the roof..

    A very nice police came and removed me from my home with (a broken leg) made me homeless with 2 bags of clothes and my crutches, i read the lies she wrote about me to the courts, so many..
    I am now so happy as I don’t have to live the frustrating life of having a narcissist wife anymore! thanks to YOU Melanie, everything I have read here is SO true, I am cool as a cucumber now as I understand how they operate, I am strong enough for court.
    the best thing is that all the people in my life are positive and supportive my life has changed for the better in so many ways its almost unbelievable
    she has tried to get back into MY life asking for money via a school teacher I said talk to the lawyer!!!! I wont let her back in EVER.
    the best thing is I know how to completely cut her off, no contact…but I know how to deal with her in court…..but the best thing is I know how to keep an eye on my kids in the future…….THANK YOU SO MUCH MELANIE…XXX LOVE TO YOU AND THE TEAM

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 8, 2019

      Hi Jason,

      I am so happy for you that you have clarity and have closed the gaps!

      You are very welcome and lots of love and continued healing and breakthroughs to you and your children.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • jennyboak@uwclub.net'
    Jenny
    February 8, 2019

    Hi Melanie
    My light bulb moment came after my last relationship ended. I asked myself the question why do I keep attracting these people. This led me to finding your information an courses. I think all of your thriver sessions i have resonated with me. A lot more things in my life starting to make a lot more sense now.
    Thank you
    Love Jenny

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 9, 2019

      Hi Jenny,

      I’m so happy for you that you self-enquired and turned inwards to heal.

      Much continued love and blessings to you Dear Lady, and I’m thrilled I could help.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • msviking212@msn.com'
    Carol Rafferty
    February 9, 2019

    I had a narcissist that was my case worker & didn’t know it, until now. She couldn’t control me, so she went after my kitty. I needed to rehome my kitty, because she felt my stress level & started eating gobs of plastic. I had to rehome her, for her well being. My case worker before I knew it was suppose to rehome her, but didn’t. She tried to get my birds, but I said no. She was furious & ran out of my home as angry as a bull, in a China shop, seeing red. I have been trying to find her for over two months, afraid she is dead or being abused. I’m certainly not smiling. The facility she worked for were treated me like I was a criminal. I found out this witch ran. I have no idea if I will ever see her again & I handed her over to a demon & I’m just sick. The police sent me to animal control. The animal control called them & there is a big problem, they were suppose to look into. The animal control told me that this is now a civil matter. Also, my husband is trying to get back with me, through our daughter. I think, our daughter is either a narcissist or flying monkey. she wants me to write to him once a week & I’m so tired of this. I called my son-in-law & my daughter twice about my kitty & neither of them called back. I’m so done. I had it. I’m moving away from them. She talks to him every Sat., even after the nightmare he has caused & my gut feeling is telling me to get out of town!!

  • Gblitzmadel@gmail.com'
    Anne
    February 9, 2019

    Great article/video, the most concise I’ve yet seen when it comes to the point of what can I do about myself.

  • mproulx29@yahoo.com'
    Michelle
    February 11, 2019

    I want to thank you from the bottom of my truly empathetic heart. I have taken back who i know i am!!! He does not like it, tried to use his same tactics as in the past but the past is the past i have forgiven myself and have moved on. It is truly a process but with your help, i gained strength and courage!

    • Melanie Tonia Evans
      February 11, 2019

      Hi Michelle,

      I am very happy you are doing so well.

      Sending continued power and blessings to you!

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  • saritabraggcreek@gmail.com'
    Sarita
    February 21, 2019

    Thank you, this article has so much fundamental wisdom! I am ending my 20 year marriage and 25 year relationship with my Narcissist, and yesterday was my first successful mediation session, I was prepared, unattached and held my truth. I have worked thru all the modules several times, read the ebook, and finally I feel some relief and had my first good sleep in along time. Your program has been a turning point in my journey, and I excited about my next chapter. I can’t thank you enough!

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