Have you caught yourself wondering if the narcissist is missing you after the relationship is finally over?
Have you found yourself questioning whether they think of you when they’re alone or even when they’re with someone else?
I was once stuck thinking these troubling thoughts until I came to some serious realizations about what was really going on. I understood the truth about what the narcissist was REALLY missing – and what he REALLY wanted from me was not at all what I thought.
I know so many of you in this community also struggle with this, so this Thriver TV episode is all about putting these confusing feelings into perspective. Knowing the deeper truth of what is at play can be the beginning of your personal healing.
Watch the video now to find out how to put these unsettling thoughts to rest and move on with peace of mind.
Video Transcript
Today, I want to explore this question that I know may be in your heart. Is the narcissist missing you? Are you the one that they felt got away? Do they think of you when they’re alone or even when they’re with another person?
I truly hope that the answers that I give you to these questions can help you heal today, get perspective, and will empower you.
There Are Times The Narcissist Will Be Missing You
Now, before I jump into the meat of today’s video, let me say to you, yes, there are times that the narcissist will be missing you. I want to focus on how much you gave and what resources you had to offer, which I promise you did not go unnoticed by the narcissist.
I know so many of you in this community, I know your hearts. I’ve met you in my healing programs, by email, on my blog, as clients, and even in person.
Some of you are now my dear personal friends and work colleagues. You are the nicest people I’ve ever met, and I’m not just saying this. You are kindhearted, caring, loving, and resilient. You put yourself out for people. You don’t give up. You have hearts as big as lions, and you will do whatever it takes to hold things together. You’re a rare breed.
Truly, it’s people like you who represent what it is to express humanity to others. You are beyond responsible and you wouldn’t be on my channel, listening to my material, if this wasn’t the case. You want to learn and grow. You want to make a difference. You want to take personal responsibility. And you are not a fair weather friend. You hang in there on other people’s behalf and you go over and beyond the call of duty.
Narcissists Don’t Always Come Across People Like You
Narcissists don’t always come across people like you every day. Narcissists don’t always get the perfect hit with those that they’re targeting. They can end up with less capable and no way near as resilient people. People who don’t go the extra mile with love, service, years of devotion, and who do not have the ability in resourcefulness to clean up the narcissist’s messes, or the desire to care for the narcissist to hold things together.
When the narcissistic disasters strike, narcissists turn these other people over. They leave them, they replace them, but nearly all of you were different. You had much more to give and you had more to offer. The narcissist, like a nasty, naughty child was saying to you, “No matter what I do to you, just love me,” and you did. You gave it everything you had and then more and more and more and more.
So, here it is. Yes, the narcissist misses what you gave and enjoyed and how much you kept giving and giving. But, is this missing you about loving you? The narcissist is sitting there thinking of you absolutely at the times when they’ve not been able to replace you with as good a quality narcissistic supply.
Sadly, and this is always going to be the narcissist’s plight, this isn’t about love for another human being as we would understand it. Because a narcissist doesn’t see people as flesh and blood, autonomous human beings. The real reason they can’t is because they’ve divorced themselves from their own humanity, from their own Inner Being and beingness. They created a False Self in its place, a fictitious character that the narcissist would like to be. This character is not based in reality, and it needs constant propping up and feeding to maintain itself. This False Self is insatiable. It’s a black hole, a bottomless pit. It can never be adequately appeased.
Yes, you weren’t enough to feed this False Self because nobody is and nobody ever will be. Narcissists empty out, blow up, and destroy everything and everyone that gets close to them, but you gave so much. The narcissist is missing what you gave, how you stayed, and how you gave even more.
How The Narcissist Took Advantage Of You
I know that this is hard to hear, (as it was for me to face) that these truths are so real as well. How we were so trusting, loving, and forgiving, and we were good people and we didn’t even fathom that people could be the way a narcissist is. That it allowed the narcissist to take advantage of you and mine and exploit you even after they had done terrible things and you reconnected and forgave unforgivable behaviour constantly, which allowed it to keep happening again.
The more that you tried to help the narcissist grow up and be a decent human being who would do the right things by themselves, you, and others, the more the narcissist could keep relying on you to do all of the heavy lifting for them, keep things together, clean up the messes, while they continued being a narcissist, taking advantage of you and pillaging and parasiting your Life Force and your resources.
Absolutely, he or she misses this. How you stayed connected, granted attention, kept things afloat, and hung around. But, please know this is not about loving you. It’s about loving what he or she could get from you.
What Does The Narcissist Really Miss About You?
So now let’s just take a deep breath and let’s put this all into perspective. Where do we go to from here? Please know, absolutely, the narcissist is not just waltzing into the sunset without a second thought about you, but the way they are missing you is not the way you or I want to be missed.
A narcissist just doesn’t have the capacity to love and miss you the way you and I do. As painful as it is, this doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable or unworthy of love. Rather, it means that the narcissist was never capable of seeing you as a person to love. They pretended this and they do this with everybody.
They only miss how you used to feed their False Self, their significance, and knowing this can be the beginning of your healing, because that person who you want to miss you for all the right reasons simply does not exist. They never did. We can’t get a cat to lay an egg. We can’t get a crocodile to roll over while we scratch its tummy. It’s just not possible.
I know, just like myself, there is no way that you want to live a life of being exploited, fed upon, and emptied out. You don’t want to be the host for a parasite. It really is quite frankly repulsive when you understand the truth of this. I promise you, the same siphoning out happens for every future person that gets up close and personal with this narcissist – whoever the narcissist targets and draws into their web. Maybe this person will give as much as you, or they won’t.
Whoever the narcissist misses is going to end up burnt and leaving, or eventually discarded, just like it happened to you. This is nothing to ever envy, because this is not a loving compliment to anybody in the future with this person, just as it’s not to you.
Love can be true, genuine, and it can be the real deal. There are lots of people, there really are, like you who are caring and honest. But for all of us, we have to heal up to know the difference between those who are and who aren’t, and to turn our fierce devotion that we had for others inwards to ourselves That way we can develop enough to question things that feel off, speak up, lay boundaries, and leave those who are unsupportive, invalidating, self-centered, exploitative, abusive, and also refuse to take responsibility for their lives.
We have so much to give, but we were naive. We believed that everybody was as honest and good natured as we were. We trusted way too easily. We ignored our gut feelings and we kept giving until it hurt, and even until it virtually destroyed us. Narcissists loved that. They loved that. Not us, because it just wasn’t possible for them to love us. Not because of us, because of them.
It was never going to be our offering of ourselves up to them that was going to get them to love us. It wouldn’t have mattered what we did or we didn’t do, or the thousand different shapes of a pretzel that you would turn yourself into. They were never going to healthily love us.
What this really has been about is that coming home to loving and caring about ourselves and then creating real love in the future with real and available others from that inner space.
In Conclusion
I was able to heal up to that level of empowerment and I love helping other people who’ve been abused by narcissists to get there as well. If you know it’s time for you to let go of missing the narcissist – the person who is more than likely missing you for all the wrong reasons – then I’d love to help you.
To get that help, click on this link to the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), which is my 10-step healing program. Gosh, I hope this has made sense, and I hope it’s given you peace today. Please share this video or transcript with anyone who needs to hear this message.
I never thought my narcissist ex missed me. After I went no contact, she learned I had a sizable inheritance. She’d sure miss getting her paws on that.
But I always thought of her as an “out of sight, out of mind type of person.”
Hi Stephen,
their ego would never allow them to own up to it!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie!
I don’t think she misses me like you miss a child who unexpectedly went to spirit but she does seem to indicate that she misses what I used to do for her. I was the fix-it person who often went to her rescue when she created problems with other people in business or socially. Somehow, I, which is a complete pain in the ass, get the sense that she misses me when she comes to the marital home to take things to donate to the Synagogue and elicits my help… When she does that it puts me in the very uncomfortable position of me subsequently feeling that I should be helping and not wanting to….
Anyway, I remember being asked literally over and over by other business people in the area and business associates or people in the community to talk to her. They would say “can you please talk to her! She is making the employees in my business uncomfortable with her bullying…. can you please tell her to stop doing that to my workers!” And so on and so on and so on and so on! It was like a broken record with her that repeated the same old BS song and dance far too often!
This happened a lot and in multiple situations…it’s unlikely that she has changed and is more than likely still doing the same thing. So, I would suspect that she might miss me bailing her out but who knows and who cares?
It has taken me quite some time to get over the thought of “does she miss me? Does she ever think about me? Does she give a damn about me?” Etc. etc. etc.!
i’ve been in NARP for nearly 5 years now and I’ve learned incredible stuff in NARP that is literally saviving my life. Without your consistent teachings Melanie and having access to the modules and other parts of the forum and everything in NARP I really don’t know where, on this Earth, I would be!
I might or probably would be pining and missing her and hoping that she might come back and that something could be resurrected but now, I don’t care most of the time. I do care about her safety and pray that she is protected from injury, like car accidents and things like that but as far as her emotional well-being or her spiritual growth and evolution, which I once cared deeply and dearly about, I don’t care and it no longer matters….
it feels like I’m reaching some vague, at this tme, finishing point or completion of some possible “pre this lifetime” arrangements with her…🙏 as a result I’m, thankfully, now understanding, with the help of NARP, that I needed to complete with her certain karmically induced situations and arrangements…in that realization and belief and understanding I am finally sensing a form of freedom that I have not been able to feel or experience in way way too long! When I am there with that feeling and living with that clarity it is amazing and wonderful and I don’t miss her because I’m then, in those moments aligned with my inner child and inner life and spiritual whatever you want to call it and free, even if it’s momentary, so thankfully from her….🙌
I can honestly and objectively without a selfish ego speaking say that I have grown in many different ways that would have never happened had it not been for this whole incredible experience with this particular narcissist and, of course, the amazing help of NARP!!! ❤️🦋❤️
So, once again, I am reminded that it’s “not what is done to you but what is done for you”! It’s been hard but on some days when I’m really doing the right work for myself and engaging in this work that I need to do with spirit and determination I get to experience a kind of freedom that is exhilarating, peaceful and wonderful! Thank you, Melanie, for helping me with your marvelous teachings, to get there! Much love and so much gratitude! ❤️🦋❤️
Hi Peter,
I can really sense that you are breaking free into this freedom – the freedom that is YOU.
Bravo Dear Man!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thanks Mel!
Even though it makes sense, I often wondered if he is missing me. My gosh your words had me in tears, but I know in my heart I had to leave this tornado of a person causing me to always question what was wrong with him. I have awaken from the fog and being completely drained in every capacity, I realize the only person who I need to take care of is me and to let go. I am most grateful to you for sharing your stories. I never knew that these “terrible people” existed. Being a thriver, I now have the tools and the understanding of who they are and what they do and how to heal from within.
You are very welcome Dotti,
and much love to you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Truth be told – once you heal your grief, sadness or even shock you will then gain self worth and never tolerate such rubbish people again —-
NARP = Evolve ♥️🙌
❤️ Love your comment! ❤️
I love Your Comment🌹
Exactly Faye!
Bless!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Mel. Another amazing article. But what shone through for me is your Love and Truth and Passion for people to hear you. To HEAR you. I hear you. I’ve told you a few times on your blog and I know you know. But I will say it again. Your work on Narcissistic Abuse Recovery is Vital but it’s not your Infinite. Your work and QFH is the key to life. The key to living life in the way God intended. You have been given the key to unlock the mess that we humans have made of life. A simple beautiful tool that could change the way we live everyday. I’ve been recommending you to so many people and they love what I have to say about how it’s changed my life but they are hesitant because it’s related to Narcissism and people in the most don’t associate themselves with that unless they have been hammered by it. But in the most that’s the life most people are living: bought into a Narcissist society, they can’t see outside of that until a massive crisis occurs. Your work has been helping thousands of people affected by that crisis. But what about the others? The ones that are living quiet lives of desperation, just managing, just getting by, but dying day by day? What about the children? I’m sending you so much love and so much gratitude. I’m also one of your Tribe and SuperThrivers and I’m ready to support you and be part of a new stream for you. I am UK based and would be willing to invest myself and the Finances I have available to me to make this a reality. I love you and the MTE team very much and I know that you have only just begun 💜🧡💛💚♥️
Hi Ramona,
everything you have written is powerfully correct.
I am in the process of getting this work out further and formulating how to.
I too share your passion to help others.
Thank you so much for spreading the word darling lady – and I do hope that soon there will be avenues for these people too.
One day maybe we can talk!
Much Love and Gratitude
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Absolutely beautiful Mel. My heart is singing when I hear that. This is amazing. When it’s ready I will be first in line 💛💛💛💜💜💜💚💚💚
Thank you for these kind words. It is excruciating to be so sensitive to what someone else thinks of me or says to me. I imagine he must miss our life together, but there are no obvious signs. I don’t miss him…although I honestly miss the neglect. I would accept that any day over the constant cruel remarks I receive.
Because we still have to have contact via text, my ex takes every opportunity to put me down or make a false presumptions and threats.
He has painted me as a monster even though I feel that I have barely escaped the abuse with my life.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I am so tired.
Hi Liz,
I love what Man of California shared with you – such beautiful support.
Liz have you considered my healing program NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp to shift out his abuse from the inside, feel detoxed from him and take back your power to the point where he will not be able to affect you at all?
It really is my deepest suggestion to you. NARP will get you there if you are ready to lean in and heal with it.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
OMG! Thank you Mel! I have been reading your info for about a month now, but this is best article yet. After we split, my narcissist became seriously, terminally ill, asked me to come back to him. Now I understand so much better. We assume narcissists are the same as others, but they’re not .
Hi Lotta,
it’s great that this spoke to you.
Much Love to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
It’s futile to think whether they miss us because we need to run from anything which has anything to do with the Narc who sucked all our energy for long. If at all, we understood what was going on with our lives all these years – we won’t be foolish enough to bother whether our ex-narc misses us or not. We already know – THEY DON’T!!! Even thinking about them proves that we’re still Trauma Bonded. We can regain our own power when we give a damn to the ex-narc (*please let that ex return no more in our thoughts or lives or anywhere near us)!!!
Liz: You asked for suggestions after saying how tired you are, and that deeply resonated with me. So, I’ll toss out a couple/few. Being sensitive is what makes us beautiful and narcs attracted to our beauty. It is like an oxygen hose spraying full-dose for their supply / fire-building. What he DOES miss about you is being able to exploit you at his whim, with his own brand of brainwashing based on how he has “read” you. If he knows you miss neglect, he’ll “heap that upon you.” If he knows you miss your life together, he’ll “heap THAT upon you” (and so on).
If you have some legal (or even semi-legal) reason to stay in contact (as opposed to No Contact or Grey Rock), such as “we have children together and must (fill in the blanks)” you might be well-served by some of the “parental communication apps” which can 100% REPLACE text messaging. These can be a “look, the abusive language he used is plain for all to see” way of keeping communication in-line with more-normal (less abusive) behavior, but no guarantees: these are more for “see, people have to be watching how we speak to each other, because the abuse, if here, will be obvious and open for others to see.” I don’t know the name of these apps (or what might be correct in your jurisdiction / language / locality) but others here do and could help you with that.
“Painting you a monster” (ESPECIALLY after you have escaped abuse with your life) is simply WHAT THEY DO. It is DESIGNED to drive you crazy, even as you KNOW it is all lies. It is so, so difficult to do this, but rise from ashes, stay determined to be on (and STAY on) “the high road” (of integrity and not bad-mouthing / shit-talking in return), even if this takes years, decades, the rest of your life. I won’t say that will automatically guarantee you a Win, but you’ll be light-years ahead of monsters with that sort of determination. And it’s good for you, people around you and the universe. I wish you the best and much strength ahead. Be good to yourself, rest, self-care, re-build and recreate (heh, take that word apart and you get re-create).
One day, then the next day, put one foot in front of the other and walk through this and onto what’s next: YOU are what’s next.
Thank you, Mel, for another hit of truth that is both grounding and liberating. I had a nuanced, ahaa watching this. In the first year of Narc #2 I remember saying to friends, “I don’t feel loved” but I did not leave for a couple reasons 1) I told myself I didn’t really know what healthy real grown up love was. I felt loved, cherished, and safe with my husband (25 yr, still close, good human being, kind heart.) but not “met” and not spiritual partners. Then Narc #1 swept me off my feet and had me intoxicated with feeling absolutely loved more than ever because he was a Daniel Day Lewis performance lovebomber (2 yrs. nonstop) Literally wrote a book gushing about how magical and amazing love with me was like never before. Then sudden discard out of the blue. So I went through classic dark night of soul, found NARP. A few years later, I met Narc #2 who checked a lot of boxes. Tonight I hear your video and the ahaa is “I never felt loved by him because my body knew the Truth. I wasn’t.” But back then I guess I made it my “fault” … that I couldn’t open my heart to feel loved and generously fall in love because of the prior injury a) hard to trust b) don’t really know what love is- since the best ever was a fake. So I kept trying to do more inner work remothering my wounded child and more “practicing” with him to earn an A+ on my consious relationship skills report card. But I never FELT truly loved or in love. I let that go on for almost 3 yrs. I imagine he might miss me in the way you describe. The last time I saw him he said “I enjoy you.” I often felt like an object that was pleasing or not for fitting in to the life he wanted and a woman who’d love him and his way of life “unconditionally” (another trap for not honoring my own healthy need requests, etc.) I’m happy to say I do not miss him. (Went through all of that horrifying trauma bonded soul rape stuff with #1, thank you very much). I am so glad to be free of both of them. It’s fascinating how like you say- we don’t realize that other people are wired like Narcs are. I kept talking myself out of what my body was feeling and putting rose tinted glasses on and telling myself this was the mature growth, high integrity path. And hired a relationship repair author therapist who kept encouraging me to stay. Oy. I am 100% responsible for how I gave my power away. That was part of the soul contract with both of them. For now, I’m in love with my vocational calling and happily immersed in a new project. I don’t crave romantic love anymore. It is a new level of peace in my heart to feel that I’m not pining for #1 the way I used to for so long and certainly not wanting #2. Any new women can have them. They should come with tattooed warning labels. 🙂 My hunch is this phase of my life is solo for a while, with matching energy on a higher vibe, may it be so. But I don’t miss having a lover/man in my life right now and that’s a wonderfully healthy celebration and maturation of my empowered, Inspired Self. Cheers to all the generous gifts you share. Keep banging your drum!
Hi MB,
I love this place where you are at.
It is SO your time to shine!
Thank you for your powerful and so insightful share.
It is a joy seeing you blossom into you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
My narcissist ex used to flirt outrageously with other women while he was with me. Especially when he’d do something to start an arguement, kick me out for a few days/weeks, get as much attention elsewhere while he could then ask me back. Now he’s with a lady that seems really nice and i know he’s doing exactly the same to her. He’s tried messaging me via txts, emails, even on xbox, all seemingly harmless random things to try and open that door, that line of communication. That door is firmly closed because I will not be that person talking to him behind his new girlfriends back, like so many women did to me knowing that we were together. I refused to be his supply any longer, as of 18 months ago and I refuse to be used when he tries to contact me because his new relationship is not going the way he wants. I know what he’s doing and I refuse to be part of the hurt he’ll cause to this new girlfriend. As for whether he misses me I don’t care anymore, I’ve healed and learnt so many things from Mels information on narcissism, i’ve grown so much and i’m now with a wonderfully kind, caring man. So he try all he wants, he’ll get zero response from me.
Well done Debs!
Fabulous to hear that he can get NO-THING from you!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Mel
Been a follower for 4 years now after getting no help from the so called experts.
You made me cry today watching this.
I know I’m all those things you described that the narcissist loves about us but boy you forgot you are this wonderful person that they were so lucky to have for so long yet treated so poorly
Wasted far too many years being forgiving, being the strong one fixing everything.
I still have contact with him as we are in business together one day soon I hope this will change and I will be free as he tries to control my life still in far too many ways.
Yet on the other hand has this whole wonder life that he lies about none stop. So yeah nothing has changed for him. He had this life while we were married too and lied about it.
But im in a far better place than I have been in a long time but still healing.
It a slow long process.
Love your work!!
Hi Di,
I’m so pleased this struck a chord with you and I hope that it reinforces your resolve to detach, keep healing and look forward to the day when you are free.
Di, you have been in my community for 4 years, but have you tried Quanta Freedom Healing yet? There is a profound difference with the people who are healing with QFH and those who aren’t.
I really want you to experience what Quanta Freedom Healing can do for you in your body, in the way of granting you emotional relief, power, and recovery … so that you know why we are all so passionate about using it to heal.
It is a day and night game changer in the healing and the freedom stakes.
In my free 2 day masterclass, you get to have a free healing to try it at http://www.recoverhealthrive.com
I can’t recommend this enough to you.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thanks for the blog…after reading this article I come to realize that it was all a lie why should I be wondering if he misses me, when through out the entire relationship he wore all sorts of mask I couldn’t tell him from one day to the other when I look back I realize he was that boogie man that haunted me as a child but I got to see this monster in person believe me as an adult I think I was more afraid than I was as a child I’m thankful from being able to see my trauma for what it is after everything i have been through with the narcissist only awaken me to reality I must say I fell asleep on myself but at the end of the day the narcissist can’t break what he hasn’t built so whether he miss me or not … I’m the one that got away and I know his story so he should not be missing me…! I got a testimony he don’t want know one to know.. now who is the narcissist misses?💪💪💪
I definitely have lived this! I still think of him all the time and every single day. I don’t know if that is necessarily bad or good at this point. And I have often wondered if he missed me, or missed Us. But I unfortunately already know that answer…each time I think it.
The answer is such a grave awakening to have to accept and live through. They don’t miss us, they only miss what we offered up. I like the part when Melanie said they missed how we held things together…becuz they can’t….that we chose to forgive Unforgivable things, over and over again….only making them continue to do exactly those things becuz we’d still be “there”, cleaning up their messes.
They loved how much time and effort we put and how long we stayed. That’s what they miss.
And finally, Melanie is so right! Once you finally get your bearings and peer in through the outside of what entanglement you were once in, you DO realize that “you Don’t want to be a host to such a parasite”!!! That is NOT a life.
Thank You Melanie , Your program has saved my life. I wondered if he missed me but I knew it was just what i did fir him which of course he would demean as nothing. Your talk today boosted my self confidence and reflected the truth of my character.
Lots of love back to you
Suzanne
Hi Suzanne,
it’s my pleasure.
I’m so pleased that NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp has helped so much and that this resonated with you.
Sending you continued love and healing
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you so much, as ever. My parent is gone but still wounds my heart and soul – somehow each realization reopens the wounds. Listening to your videos over and over helps a lot – because this was my entire life experience. This battle within me just goes on and on – and is won small victory after small victory. That the love could never be there no matter what my effort is the truth of all truths – and the utter character assassination and abandonment of me was so unexpected and mortifying after a lifetime of effort and devotion – and will always be how friends and family view me – so the narcissist continues to stab me in the back from the beyond. It is just awful. There will always be doubt about my loving, giving and caring character. Hurts a lot.
Hi Vicky,
You are very welcome.
It is my deepest wish that you sample Quanta Freedom Healing – it truly is THE thing that makes the healing difference. In fact, Vicky, I will go as far as to say that it is the people in our community who work with QFH who are healing for real, and for others its takes far longer, and often the battle is endless.
QFH changes all of that – but you will not know this, just by me saying it – you need to feel this for yourself.
The best way to do that Vicky is to take my free 2 part masterclass here http://www.recoverhealthrive.com
In this you receive a free Quanta Freedom Healing.
Imagine a throbbing arm that you put a patch on and the pain went away. That is how powerful QFH is for emotional narcissitic trauma, and getting your soul, sanity and life back, but you can’t know this unless you experience it.
Much Love to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I completely understand he misses what I supplied, but really doesn’t me. He tried to establish contact approximately every 6 – 8 weeks after I ended the relationship. Its been 15 years now, and the attempts to contact me have become less frequent, down to approx. every 6 months. I realize he probably is having great difficulty finding another source of supply that provided as well as I did, especially in covid/inflationary times. I guess what I really struggle with is that he should know he depleted me, financially and emotionally, and if he hopes to feed his sexual needs it amazes me that he could even think I would feel that way for him after being exploited. I scratch my head wondering if he’s really that stupid or if maybe he thinks I’m stupid enough to want to be exploited again. I have bad habit of trying to analyse behavior I don’t understand; far too much of time is wasted with this bad habit. These news letter emails are of great help in gradually reducing any more time spent thinking of the whole bad experience with the narcissist.
Hi Debby,
yes thinking about this doesn’t help. We can’t cure over-thinking with more thinking (goodness knows we all tried when it came to narcissist’s CRAZY behaviour!).
Its is by establishing solid, safe, peace in our inner beings that the obsessive thinking (trying to get closure / understanding that doesn’t come) stops.
There are very definite ways to achieve this and dissolve this pattern that you so humbly and honestly know is derailing you ..
I explain all of this in my free 2-part masterclass http://www.recoverhealthrive.com I highly suggest taking this class (its all free with no obligation) to discover how to break free from this pattern and into your full Thriver Recovery
I hope that this helps
Mel 🙏💞🦋
As far as I’m concerned, my ex narc could mount on Elon Musk starship and go to Mars.
In the journey to Mars she can think or not think about me all that she wants.
What would be really astounding would be Elon’s face upon arrival at Mars when he would realize that she can survive with no atmosphere , no oxigen and extreme temperatures because obviously demons are having a blast in those conditions.
Soon after that she would just absorb the whole planet into the black hole of her chest… sorry Elon!!!
In the end she was I blessing, I spent all of my life half destroyed inside and she came to my life to completely destroy me so I could finally heal for real.
If it wasn’t for her maybe I would have never found Narp and Melanie and spent the rest of my life only half destroyed (because of brutal childhood) which was not a good life.
So thank you for that my narcissistic girl for finishing the demolition work my father started so I could finally understand, learn, heal and grow.
And thank you Melanie as always!
I think these types of people are very bewitching, very hypnotic, and thats why a person will wonder do they miss me, do they think of me, or they will keep thinking of them, and be obsessed. All I know, is when you stop doing that youre over it, and you can be rational about it and stop the worship of someone you who you know is a low life.. Even wanting them to miss you is not good. You must get to a point you dont need them for anything, and dont even care about the pain any more.
Thanks Mel for the reminder. It’s just what I needed to hear today. It gives me hope!
It’s my pleasure Dotti!
Much Love to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Will the narcissist ever think about his baby or miss his baby he left?
He left me as soon as I told him
We we’re pregnant (as planned) we were looking at houses to buy the day before.
He phone the police and served me a trespass notice for leaving a baby scan pic at his new house he rented 1km down the road.
Will he want anything to do with his baby? Will he come back to haunt us in the future?
Do I risk being trapped in the wrong country?
I know he’s had other women have abortions and he’s left me before pregnant.
He’s left me now he thinks he’s going to be a “famous” dj and I’m fat pregnant and old.
Do they have any feeling for their babies?