Have you been in a situation where you were completely obsessed, terrorised and emotionally crippled with the fear of what the narcissist was going to do next, and then your worst fears came true?
The smear campaign hit with maximum effect, the phone call to your boss discrediting you happened, and the threat the narcissist was holding over you was executed with ruthless intensity.
Have you ever had the experience of releasing the fear of what the narcissist could do to you, and instead focused on aligning with positive beliefs such as: No one has the power to control me or affect my life, and I am the powerful creator of myself and my happiness, and then as a result the narcissist could do nothing, and / or stopped terrorising you?
It seemed that effortlessly no-one believed the narcissist’s slander, the phone call to your boss was dismissed as garbage, and the threat the narcissist proclaimed to do never came to fruition.
Why is this?
The answer to this question, I believe, is one of the most important lessons in your journey of narcissistic abuse recovery.
When you understand what I am going to share with you in this article, the narcissist will have no power to affect your life, and you will experience the true empowerment and freedom to create a narcissistic free life.
The Narcissist Is Your Vibrational Mirror
You may not have realised the narcissist is your complete vibrational and emotional gauge.
Likewise you may not have understood yet that the narcissist is the most incredible ‘tool’ to assist you to understand Law of Attraction.
As a result of having a narcissist in your life, you will point blank know when your energy is not working, and when your energy is working.
The narcissist is the most incredible mirror in your life to teach you what an incredible manifester you really are.
If we look at this from pure ‘energy terms’ (and truly there is no other way to look at this, because it’s from energy that everything we know as ‘real’ is created), the narcissist on his or her own does not have any authentic energy.
The narcissistic is an energy ‘sucker’, we may say ‘vampire’, who has to steal energy in order to obtain it.
What this means is, the narcissist in your experience can only operate in your experience depending on ‘where your energy is at’, because he or she doesn’t have any of his or her own.
You may think this is really far-fetched, but please keep an open mind and read on…
Have you ever seen the manically depressed, lifeless narcissist who has not been able to get narcissistic supply?
If you have, you know exactly what I mean.
This is why narcissists report in the morning that they wake up and need to get going in order to find narcissistic supply – just like a drug addict needs a fix. (Yes, narcissists suffering narcissistic injury who are momentarily humble and truthful all report this.)
When you understand Energetic Reality, which is very real and powerful (even though you can’t physically see it) you realise that energy vampires don’t require actual physical contact to suck your energy and be energised by it.
When narcissists extract energy they are capable of really nasty behaviour without conscience or respect for boundaries…We know this, we have all experienced their brutality…
Okay so now please really absorb what I am about to say…
Here it comes…
I have received a TONS of real-life evidence that supports the following:
If you dwell on, obsess over, have angst, fear, terror, panic or anxiety in regard to the narcissist in your life – over any topic whatsoever – the narcissist receives an energy feed, and powers up to throw back at you exactly the results of your fear and pain.
I cannot tell you how many clients I have worked with, as well as received reports from individuals starting the NARP Program, who initially were stuck in custody, settlement, and No Contact battles, and were so anxious, so consumed with Post and Complicated Traumatic Stress disorder and their inability to think straight and function, that their life was like a continual war-zone.
Their narcissist seemed like an unrelenting terminator, a dog with a bone, doing everything and anything to rip their lives apart.
I too have lived this experience exactly…
Sadly, it is synonymous with the normal narcissistic abuse experience.
But truly, it does not have to be this ‘normal’ way.
Part of my awakening to how to heal narcissistic abuse, was the understanding that the narcissist is a magnified manifestation of our fears.
Therefore if you have the ‘normal’ charges of fear, pain and distress running, the narcissist fuels up and hits you like a freight train.
But what happens, when the fear and pain shifts?
That’s what happens.
Truly…I am not kidding you. I have seen it so many times, there have been too many ‘coincidences,’ too many things fall into place for the person shifting out of fear, and too many narcissists who have fallen over, given up, and failed….
These miracles include every topic imaginable, such as property, children turned against the non-narcissistic parent, smear campaigns, intimidation and any other nasty drama that narcissists do.
Why is it property settlements are locked in battle for three years and then the narcissist signs the agreement one week after the shift happens?
Why is it children who have not spoken to the non-narcissistic parent for 5 years make contact to reconnect out of the blue after the shift occurs?
Why is it people who have been poisoned by the narcissist all of a sudden turn their back on the narcissist and seek allegiance with you when your pain is released on this?
Why is it the stalking, the terror campaigns and threats stop and never recommence after the fear has been transformed and replaced with safe and empowered beliefs?
This is not a novel. It’s not a story I am writing you…it has been proven to me time and time again.
In fact I have never known it to turn out any other way.
I know this is true for very powerful reasons….one I have lived it personally, and I experience the reports with clients and people who do the shifts out of pain – every day.
I also understand the deeper levels of what is really going on here…
The Journey to True Empowerment – Letting go of the Need to ‘Do Something’
The narcissist is the most vivid teacher showing you that you aren’t powerless, rather you are an incredible vibrational creator. One of the most powerful reasons you have drawn a narcissist into your life is to break you out of the illusions of the human experience – which is: we are powerful in ‘doing’.
We think that in times of pain, fear and anxiety by combating it by ‘doing something’ we can change our outer experience, and find the ways to reduce our pain, fear and anxiety.
This is a total illusion.
We don’t make good choices in these states, and we are ineffectual in our doing. We feel so fearful and separated by life we forget we are connected to all that is. We forget that life responds to our vibration – and that we are unlimited and all of life in our experience responds to our vibration in combinations and possibilities that we cannot even begin to imagine.
When we think we are separated and it is us against all the outer conditions with no support, we become very ‘small’ and achieve very ‘small’ (if any) good results.
In fact our results usually turn out one way only – terrible…
When it comes to narcissists, we aren’t powerful in doing.
No matter how much we try to combat them, outsmart them, and try to stay one step ahead of them, the narcissist will always trump, one-up, escalate and create more damage…it does NOT work!
This entire experience is teaching you about your true power, it is teaching you that when you create belief systems, emotional knowing and alignments deep within yourself you get to choose and create you reality regardless of what is going on outside of yourself.
You get to learn that your outer experience is created by your inner experience, and you are not going to get off the hook of the horrendous experience of narcissist abuse by dealing with it using the ‘old system’.
Your back is up against the wall with only one way out – and that way out is, creating your reality from a new way, the way we were always intended to, but were never taught.
Seriously you don’t have to believe me…you may find this article far-fetched.
Once upon a time (before my narcissistic abuse experience) I would have too…which is another reason why I am so grateful for it because it took me to a level of awareness and life that I couldn’t have even previously dreamed of.
Not just with the narcissist, but in every area of my life.
If you have already found out this fact as your truth, and been using this golden key, you will believe me, because you have already been living the incredible results.
If you haven’t yet, whether or not you believe me, truly you will not realise that the inner state creates the outer reality, until you put away the old way of ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ and start working on becoming the energy of ‘When I believe it, I’ll see it’, and experience the results.
The Journey to True Empowerment – Focusing on your Inner Being
Stop running around in the ‘doing’ in order to combat the narcissist – because if you do (and of course you would have tried it – it’s normal to ‘do’ that) you know the harder you go at it, the more you step into the ring with a heavyweight who pummels you to brokenness and submission no matter how hard you swing.
You see the narcissist is the heavyweight of false power…
Try this, try working with the ‘unseen’…try making it your biggest mission to change your emotional state on what is happening. Make it your greatest focus to rid yourself of the fear, the pain, the anxiety and the dread, and become the beliefs and emotional vibration of what you want instead.
I promise you, if this is where you focus your energy and effort, by the time you have released your fears and pain, and stepped into your true power of knowing and operating as the creator, you will look back at the boxing ring and see a ‘nobody’, an empty person who is powerless to do anything to you and your life.
The narcissist is completely out of his or her league when faced with true power…
Because the narcissist has no energy to operate in your experience if you grant none – none whatsoever…
…and the evolved experience you get to choose; you as the creator is another universe away from the narcissist’s false reality…
He or she can’t touch it, and certainly cannot exist, let alone function in that frequency.
If you found this article helpful please join over 30,000 people who receive weekly guidance on how to not just survive… but thrive after narcissistic abuse. You will also receive 2 free ebooks which lay out the vital first steps you need to take in order to recover.
Latest posts by Melanie Tonia Evans (see all)
- Why Breaking No Contact Doesn’t Mean You Are Back To Square One - August 25, 2016
- How To Stop Trying To Help The Narcissist Whilst Destroying Yourself In The Process - August 19, 2016
- Why Did We Fall For A Narcissist? Part 2 - August 13, 2016