You may have heard by now that I’ve lost my voice, and am having to rest it by not speaking at all – I’m not even allowed to whisper. I’m sure you know how I love to communicate directly with you all, so it’s been a bit of a Halloween nightmare!

While I heal and take good care of myself, for this week’s ThriverTV episode I’m turning back the clock and rewinding to 2017. Back to the days of my darling Tiggy and this Halloween Special, where my impressive costume was matched with a deep dive into what could be a difficult topic.

I hope this TTV will feel less controversial to our Thriver community now, in 2022. These concepts of the darkness and the light are ones I’ve regularly spoken about over the last couple of years.

This Halloween seems an appropriate time to revisit the quantum truths on this subject. Are narcissists truly evil? And what is evil anyway?

Join me to find the answers to these questions, and to get to the heart of what narcissism REALLY is.

 

 

Video Transcript

Welcome to Thriver TV‘s Halloween Special! I’m Maleficent Melanie and this is Terrible Tiggy!

I want to explore the darker side of things for this Halloween Special so we’re going to be talking about what is evil? Is the narcissist evil?

I want you to bear with me because I’m going to explore light and dark, and concepts that go deeply into quantum realities, so that we can understand energy and how it plays out. There may be some things in this episode that you don’t agree with and that’s fine. Please bear with me as I circle back and bring you the answer to these questions – I’m going to get there, I promise!

 

Valuing Eachother And Our Beliefs

We all know that feeling of ice in our veins. The horrible disbelief we feel – the dread and unspeakable trauma – when we’re connected to a narcissist.

We know that it feels intensely evil. It also feels like a creepy psychic phenomenon – not unlike the Dementors in Harry Potter, who can literally suck your soul and your life-force from you.

Is this undeniable energetic force evil?

As I said before, this is going to be controversial. In fact I expect a flurry of posts on Facebook and YouTube! You may even want to email MTE disagreeing with what I’m about to share – and that’s ok.

Please know I am simply sharing my beliefs with you. There’s no necessity for you to agree with everything that I believe, in order to follow my work. As always, you’re free to take what resonates with you and totally dismiss what doesn’t.

It’s healthy, human, evolved and mature to ‘agree to disagree’ yet still love and respect eachother regardless.

I believe that having different theological views is not abusive or overstepping boundaries. One of my best friends is a Christian and what I love is that as spiritual people, she and I can have conversations without getting into a battle over differing views. As a Christian she has close friends who are gay, mothers out of wedlock, and atheists.

The religion is love. And when the religion is love we can have an open mind that will listen to different theologies. I believe one of the biggest problems on this planet is that we haven’t done this

The inability to do that is why we’ve been submerged into so much trauma and disaster throughout the human experience. We’ve not understood that we can disagree and still respect eachother and live happily. Rather we’ve murdered eachother over different views and then declared that as holy

 

The Difference Between The Darkness And The Light

Now let’s get started on the question of: are narcissists evil?

To answer this I need to reach into the quantum vault of what I feel, know and channel.

What I truly believe is that there is one energy. You can call it life force, creation, or even God. It embraces all of it – light and dark. Just as it embraces both summer and winter, day and night, and all that is.

In regard to states and manners of being, I believe that what we know as ‘light’ is connection. It’s oneness and it’s the energy of love, flow, growth, truth and consciousness.

What we know as dark – that state of feeling dark – is the energy of disconnection. It’s the experience of being separated and stuck in the dark. Not at that moment experiencing the consciousness of what really is – which is that everything is interconnected and that there’s only one life force which is creation.

Darkness is the experience of trauma – disconnection from self, life and others.

Yet even that process is part of ‘all that is’. It’s still connected and weaved within all of it.

That process brings an emptiness, which ironically feels like a black, dark hole inside when we’re experiencing disconnection. Then there’s a panic to try to fill that hole in order to try to feel whole.

In that state we don’t feel lovable, worthy or loved and we feel like something is terribly missing.

When we are trauma-free enough, then we feel and know our state of true interconnectedness to all things. We are loved and adored by all of creation simply because we exist as a part of creation itself. We feel lovable, worthy and loved. We feel that everything is perfect, and everything is in divine order exactly as it is. We feel like we’re home.

Neale Donald Walsch in ‘Conversations with God’ raised this idea to when considering somebody who hurts others: “What hurts you so much that you wish to hurt me?”

In stark contrast, when we’re connected and living the experience that we know is Life, we feel at one with ourselves. We feel love and joy as our organic state, so that’s how we relate to life and others.

We don’t feel that we need to change anyone else in order to be who we’re being. We’re simply being it.

 

The Foundation Of Personal Responsibility

At the quantum level, everything in our seen world originated from the unseen world first.

Every creation is an outer expression of an emotional idea and impulse first. The spark, if you like, generating a gestation that leads to the ultimate birth of something.

I believe that everything is energy, including dark and light, and they’re both powerful forces. In fact we mine our greatest growth, our greatest light, from our darkness.

History has proved over and over again that the most incredible reforms, breakthroughs and inspirations have come from difficult times.

When the struggle, on a personal or collective level, is harnessed into inspiration and creation, then energy that was once trapped in the darkness explodes forth into light – meaning positive growth and expansion. That’s what alchemy and transformation are all about.

Without the darkness it is impossible in this dimensional reality.

I also believe humbly that we all have a dark side.

I adore the Hawaiian philosophy of Ho’oponopono – you may be familiar with it – that there is nothing in our experience that we can view unless there is a part of us that is capable of that act.

This is why Ho’oponopono has the prayer of the most radical, hundred percent personal responsibility I’ve ever heard. It goes like this:

If you see something that you would like to be different – including atrocities and acts that may be classified as evil – you can say “I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. I thank you.”

Meaning: “I am responsible for this. If I heal me regarding this, I can heal this thing itself. I am acting through the quantum law of interconnectedness – so within so without. To heal anything I can only heal me.”

 

So Within, So Without

Now before you get understandably indignant, and jump up and down in horror at that concept, please understand that on the quantum level we are all connected.

I’m you, and you are me. On the subatomic level – the wavelengths level – we are all one form.

When we understand the quantum level of life we start accepting ‘so within so without’. We accept that “for anything to be in my experience on a level that impacts me, there is a part of me that is being capable of committing it”.

I don’t mean right now (although in some cases that may be true). What I mean is in the past.

This may have happened cellularly, where we’ve epigenetically inherited the DNA of an ancestor who is a perpetrator.

Or maybe in past lives we did unspeakable acts due to extreme trauma ourselves. We may have had to kill or be killed to protect ourselves or our clans. Maybe we too did whatever it took to survive in a dog-eat-dog world of brutality.

I know, from my personal healing work from narcissistic abuse, that the things that the abuser did, that really stuck in my craw and that I obsessed about the most, were in fact the things that I’d perpetrated myself in the past, and were still in my energetic field. They were a match for the narcissist.

When I cleared that trauma of who I’d been and what I’d done, then the traumas – of obsessing about what had happened to me, and the belief that I’d been struck down by evil – melted away. I deeply understood that rather than the narcissist being evil, we are all capable of so-called evil acts when we’re filled with trauma.

At the quantum level, the truth is that there is only one person in the room.

Who had I really been mad at for being capable of acting like that? The deep and true answer is myself.

 

 

 

Does Evil Exist?

This Thriver TV episode is already controversial but I’m going to turn it up another notch because not only am I saying that as human beings we all contain darkness, I’m also going to say I don’t believe in evil.

I believe in trauma and disconnection from self, life and creation / God / higher power. But I don’t believe in evil.

I believe that there are terrible acts that look like evil – but for me, evil itself does not exist.

Once upon a time I totally believed in evil – and I found it a terrible way to live. It actually didn’t serve me, because I found it crippling to live in a world that represented evil things and people everywhere I looked.

This may also shock some people. I don’t believe that Satan exists. I believe creation, God and love exists, but I don’t believe Satan and evil exists.

I do, however, believe light and dark exists, and oneness and separation exists.

Much of humanity has not lived the experience of who we really are organically – which is a child of creation, higher consciousness, love and oneness.

This has happened as a result of the accumulated human trauma that unfortunately has been the hallmark of our extremely un-evolved planet steeped in ego – Edging God Out. We’ve been disconnected from the truth of oneness with incredible ungodly acts of vengeance, brutality and war. Hurt people hurt people.

I believe that the notion of Satan is what the deep Greek philosophy of ‘know thyself’ called Pan – a half-man, half-goat figure. Pan became a scapegoat.

Blaming it on Satan is saying, “an outside force made me or others do this – it must be the devil”. Rather than, “the darkness of the trauma within me is responsible for this. The trauma that I have not yet released and healed.”

Rather than being soiled and carnal, without our trauma we become the expression of God, creation and Source that we really are. We’re worthy, we’re loving and we’re light – and certainly this is our experience when we start releasing trauma. We come back into the fold of oneness and the truth, and we start to understand the reality of life and its interconnectedness.

To believe in evil I would need to believe in Satan, and I would also need to believe in the only way we should deal with evil people – which is to send them to hell.

 

The Reality Of Hell

Even as a young child I never understood the damnation of eternal hell. I couldn’t fathom something so final, which could be based on certain conditions without any recourse at all. It never resonated with me.

I actually don’t believe that hell is a place. I believe it’s a state.

No matter where we are, if we’re living the experience of being in the darkness – clogged up with trauma and feeling separated from ourselves, life and others – we’re in hell. We’re hurting,  we hold others responsible for our hurt, and we’re capable of hurting others.

The narcissist appears as malignantly evil out of the lack of turning back to the Light. The never reaching inwards to love themselves (wounds and all), self-partner, and heal.

The level of trauma and unconsciousness within the narcissist is so extreme that he or she has completely divorced themselves from the true self, which is the only connection to oneness, creation and one’s higher power and others.

The narcissist is instead operating through a false self – an ego run amok – which believes it is its own lone-wolf God. The narcissist is always disconnected from life, creation, oneness and others – and trying to get ‘things’ and ‘stuff’ to take away that agony.

 

Do Narcissists Go To Hell?

If this was evil, does this mean the narcissist is going to hell?

I don’t believe so. I say this because of all I’ve already shared with you in this episode, and also because I’ve had a life between lives regression experience.

This is a deep hypnosis, where you get to experience yourself as a soul energy back home – before physical incarnations – in a deeply regressive state.

Some of you may have heard of Dr. Michael Newton’s work. If not, I urge you to check him out with an open mind, no matter what your beliefs are. There’s research about it, and I know that there are people in this community who’ve had a life between lives experience. I recommend it – it’s truly life-changing.

When having a soul experience in an LBL there are things you just deeply know. Your consciousness is operating at that level of oneness and interconnectedness to all things, and you can opt to find out the real quantum truth about other souls as well as your own.

What I discovered about narcissists as souls, is that when they’ve reached the point of no return – meaning that the soul has been so corrupted by the False Self dark entity that it’s impossible for it to evolve back to the light – then that soul is reabsorbed back to oneness, which is Higher Consciousness / God / Love. It’s recycled and emerges again as a fresh soul, a new soul.

So rather than being punished to eternal hell, the most damaged souls of all – the ones that need love the most – receive it. They go back home to dissolve into pure love – God if you like – to start as love all over again.

I saw that process happening to those souls in my LBL and I felt the deep truth of it. How happy it was to know that even the most evil of souls originally came from the oneness and returns to it. It came from the light and it’s going back home to that.

 

Are Narcissists Evil?

Do I believe that narcissists are evil? No I don’t.

I believe that they’re separated. I believe that they are completely riddled with trauma and they’re acting that out. But I don’t believe that they’re evil.

And I believe that all of us are going home, regardless of whether we’re operating in disconnection or oneness. Because that oneness is so big we can’t miss it.

It’s not a question of if, it’s a question of when.

 

In Conclusion

I hope that this made sense.

If you feel that you are really reaching towards that light and coming into a soul truth about releasing your trauma, I’d love you to connect to my free resources. Become a part of my Thriver Community, because that’s what we do – we release our trauma and evolve.

I’d love to hear your comments and questions about this controversial topic that I’ve spoken to you about tonight.

So enjoy Halloween! Terrible Tiggy and I might go out trick or treating, that would be really quite fun!

Until the next Thriver TV episode keep smiling keep healing and keep Thriving, because there’s nothing else to do!

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Commments (34) + Leave a comments

34 thoughts on “Don’t Get Tricked or Treated: The Spine-Tingling Truth About Narcissism

  1. Melanie, your recent article on limerance REALLY set off bells and lightbulbs for me. I am totally a limerant, dating back to my high school days, when I saw Paul Newman in “Exodus”, wow, I was hooked. I have experienced so many of my past friendships w/men as a limerant. I have OCD issues as well as attachment issues. Just knowing what it is is powerful. Thank you so much!!

    During much mid 2020, I was totally taken in by a Covert Narc. He hurt me deeply and I had some physical heart issues as well, which I am convinced were related. Thankfully, he went No Contact.

  2. I once told my daughter her partner was evil. He found out my insecurities and played me, manipulated, gaslighted and got information from me that I hadn’t told anyone. He would tell me sob stories and how he’d been treated and he would never do those things to my daughter. I would tell her, what a load of absolute bull, she didn’t see what I saw but through him I found out my own husband had a personality disorder, confirmed by a psychiatrist. I didn’t know narcissism was a thing, had never heard of it. I found you, read everything I could and went no contact from my daughters husband. The thing is, I still miss him, he was so funny, charismatic and kind. He’s been caught out many times but always manages to get out of situations and blames everyone but himself. My daughter is now doing exactly what I did, making excuses for his behaviour, enables him. Says everyone has different personalities and that’s just who he is. I’m gutted because he uses her and her children to get what he wants. I can see it all now, it’s obvious how childish these people are but have to let whatever will be will be. I agree that I could see myself in the past doing these things and at one point I actually thought I was the narcissist. No, they aren’t evil, they just haven’t found as you say, their higher power. I have, even though I walked away, I found my faith in God and I pray for them and the unhappiness that must be in their hearts and conscience to have to go through life having to hurt others to feel some kind of satisfaction for their existence. Thankyou Melanie ❤️

    1. Hi Val,

      it’s my pleasure, and it really is very painful watching those who we love being abused.

      You can just stand back, heal up you and be there for her when she is ready to do the same.

      Much love to you and your family

      Mel 🙏💞🦋

  3. How Timely thank you, Melanie, I am finding that since becoming aware of this paradigm I am finding that over-bearing dominant, and controlling people who want to own the show all the time are leaving my life and I am not even trying to battle with them just respond and not participate. I can’t believe that after 45 the blinders have come down and I am seeing things that I would not have seen otherwise. I have benefited from all of your work and have the NARP now also have a wonderful trauma therapist and combine that with EMDR 2.0 which is wonderfully working with NARP so I can create an even stronger foundation within myself.

  4. Hi Melanie, I loved listening to this TTV! And yes I agree! The question, “What hurts you so much that you wish to hurt me?” is one that I need to ask my narcissist husband of almost thirty years.
    But I’d bet he won’t know the answer and probably will say “its you, you’re the one with the issues!”
    Typically, with him, questions like this will get him heated and angry, swearing and insulting, put downs, and threats, and I end up feeling guilty for letting him know how he hurts me. Then he says it’s me that treats Him like garbage! And, I cop the silent treatment! But ah well, I am use to it, and I will quiz him anyway. I get through his BS and am able to cope better because of your TTV videos and articles. Thank you. xx

  5. Hello Melanie,
    I have been following you for awhile, and my felt sense and perspectives are resonate with your teachings. For many decades, I have believed that healing myself has the greater dimension of healing “the whole” (or hole). There is a sad beauty that occurs with facing truths about ourselves and others. I believe all is forgiven, but not excused, and karma and free will keep giving us chances to wake up. I remember the connection of wholeness in dreams, and use that as my guiding light in this shadowy realm.
    Your perceptions are so uplifting. I appreciate you, and will continue to tune in. I will eventually join your community, but can’t do it yet.
    Thank you!
    Hallowed blessings!

  6. Hi Melanie. I’ve been listening to you for seven years now and I wanted to tell you how much you have helped me break free. This most recent video really resonated with me. It’s a truth I have felt for a long time. Much love…Tonya ♥️

  7. well…awesome as always…I really appreciate it. I am going to say I do believe in a hell and Satan though. One of my yoga teaching, Shaman friends was a “love and light” type and then went on a journey to find some kid she was taking care of soul and had shaman class that night and went to hell, stared down Satan, and told him she was taking the kid’s soul back. The kid turned into a much more normal version of himself and I tend to believe her. I will say Satan only gets as much power as we give him so you sort of invalidate or de-engergize him by not believing in him so I get that too….. anyhooooo…..so…..I saw my ex narc gf turn into a man in front of me for a very brief second when we were cuddling one night. I jumped, and freaked out and said, “WHAT WAS THAT”..she demurred and said “i dunnoknow”. Anyhow, so get this. Her husband jumped off a bridge. She’s sort of a killer. Well…after a few months of courtship when I was dating her she lets slip that “she took meth and saw the devil”. Not sure what in the eff that meant, or if she made a deal with the devil. But….her same age cousin died in a car wreck about the same time, 10 years later her husband jumps to his death, a few weeks ago another same age cousin falls or dies in a freak fall at a stadium at like 50 years of age. So, death just surrounds her. My loses were limited to 20 pounds off my already svelte frame–the demon was eating me—-and about a year of sadness and extreme yuckiness while with her. So….next story is a healer friend of mine from Peru who is very intuitive was overhearing me tell someone about the exgf narc and she says…”forget everything you know about narcissism….its a succubus”. I am like thinking is this a language/translation issue as English is not her first language”. But, anyhow, succubus is definitely a demon which is a servant of the evil maybe or the devil maybe. I dont know. Long story short. I have had multiple people tell me that evil is real, Satan is real, and that the greatest lie ever told is that Satan is not real. And, as stated, multiple people I know have come face to face with the dark one. Even the Satan church wants to use meth as a religious practice to see Satan. So, I am going to say that there sure seems to be a lot of info saying that Satan is very real

    1. Hi Jimmy,

      this video was done in 2018, and I really do have to say, after the last few years I do have a little different take on things…

      Ultimately though – regardless of what this darkness is – the Light wins when we anchor it and stand in it.

      Mel 🙏💞🦋

  8. ooo…..since it halloween and Im kinda a joker or at least my inner teenager likes to act out….I forgot to say…..”that succuwhat can suck my you know what!!!! ROTFL!!!” There is definitely life after a Narcky. My mom is one, dad is one, step dad prolly one, both of my ex wives for sure…just their drug and alcohol abuse would confirm that, and finally after this last “girlfriend” of a year I finally figured out…”gee I dont have to repeat these patterns of zero/intermittent/withheld/pretend love from the feminine like from my mommy”. Peace people! BTW….I am living proof you can heal from the gift of narcissists…. Now my kids can too! Thanks MTE!

  9. Hi Melanie,

    It was actually a bit of a relief to see your video this week, in terms of validation. To me, the concepts we humans use to describe ourselves and others, and to describe what we experience and to make sense of our own impulses and actions, those concepts can and will change as we grow and heal, as individuals and as a society. Maybe we need the powerful, simple, absolute concept of evil to motivate ourselves to walk away from an abuser. But at some point we may not need it anymore. In fact we might end up just upsetting ourselves when we realize that a lot of the things we do to simply survive could actually fall under that same “headline” of evil.The time would then be right to move on to more nuanced concepts.

    I truly believe that the human mind needs narratives, stories and concepts to function, but also that we are “hard wired” to adjust, develop, heal and expand those as needed. Humans are meant to be able to survive under a lot of different circumstances. I think. Just sharing.

    Thank you for keep posting your videos.

  10. What a hopeful article about the darkness that is part of our human existence and how to let the light in.
    Dear Melanie, you will find out that many of your articles are worth republishing for a new generation that is looking for healing and liberation of trauma 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🌸

  11. Hi Melanie!
    I don’t think it was ever a question of being tricked by the narcissist. Actually, I fed into the whole situation!
    When I was given signs or indicators that it was time to leave and “get out of Dodge” I chose to stay always hoping that things might change or get better!
    Staying and hoping was costly! I wasted too much of my good and essential energy on the narcissist!
    I was constantly attempting to cultivate something deeper with her! In the process I was literally losing myself!
    Looking back, I wish I had done it differently, but, it’s OK that I didn’t because I couldn’t!
    Things are much different now! I’ve learned so much from you and your teachings, Melanie, and I can say with “deep and whole conviction“ that this will never happen again!
    I’ve been able to implant the principles of your teachings much more into my daily routines and, oh my God, does it make a difference!
    So, the narcissist can go out and play “trick-or-treat“ and I don’t give a damn because it’s not going to get to me the way it used to!
    Great topic, today, Melanie! Thank you so much!
    ❤️🦋❤️

    1. Hi Peter,

      that’s brilliant that you are so much more self-defined now not to feed into it again.

      It’s so true we all self-sacrificed hoping it would get better!

      Much Love to you

      Mel 🙏💞🦋

  12. PS!
    Gurdjieff says there is no heaven or hell in the literal sense…. that it is only the heaven or Hell that we create for ourselves on this earth… Beyond that there is only LIFE… 🕊

  13. Thank You for sharing this. I appreciate You, Your work is what it IS, for a reason. What once was, will BE. It just IS, -truth-, light, Love, calm BE-ingness.
    In order to create order, there must first be a chaos.
    Thank You for BEING YOU, Melanie Tonia Evans!
    Praying for Your voice healing in time for this weekends workshops, I’m sorry that You got ill.
    You matter more than You know, Lifesaver! Lots of Love 🤗.
    Ammi

    1. Hi Ammi,

      thank you for your beautiful words, I appreciate them so much.

      The last day I have really started to get well … and I’m looking forward to session 2 very much this weekend!

      Love and blessings to you

      Mel 🙏💞🦋

  14. I miss these types of posts — the ones that go deeper into the esoteric. They help me so much with overall perspective, it makes me want to go back and watch some more MTE classics. Thank you for all that you do, you are an angel on Earth, Malificent Melanie!

  15. Just because their soul and essence aren’t evil and will dissolve back to light eventually on a soul level, doesn’t mean you won’t be getting hurt, or hurting yourself, by staying.
    They will not change or start being kind and loving towards you as a Narc in this life. They will do what their job is – which is true kindness on an inner level, smash us down until we are ready to let go and turn inwards, love ourselves and heal from all the pain we already had inside us, until we reach true joy, love and connection in ways we have never experienced before.

  16. Everything in your message today was exactly what has been running through my head steadily for too long. I was so relieved to see it all addressed. I am lifted and inspired and grateful.
    You continue to help me to understand myself and others. You Are Amazing!!! I do thank so very much. Just so very much.

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