Today I want to not just look at this Halloween Special article from a spiritual “good versus evil” perspective, but as I often do, I want to take it to a deeper Quantum level of reality.
Are narcissists really “dark”?
Does this make them “evil”?
Do they know what they are doing and what exactly is it that they are doing … and why the HELL do they do it?
Hell being the operative word, because when you are caught up in the darkness of a narcissist – it is like being in hell.
Okay let’s get started…
The Energy Current of Life
First of all, narcissists hate themselves.
Why is this the case? It’s because they feel powerless. They feel empty and cut off from the energy current of life.
There is an energy current – a base note of lifeforce – that permeates through everything in this reality we are living in. Some people call this Lifeforce, Oneness, Creation, The Divine Mind, The Universe… and many other names.
Those of you who are connected to this energy current – as many of you Thrivers are – know exactly what I mean. I’ve been connected to it for years, but before I was connected to it, I really had no idea what it was, apart from a few odd feelings of it.
Narcissists are completely separated from it – by choice.
To be a part of this powerful underlying system requires the desire to enter Unity Consciousness – an interconnection with all things.
At the base level of life, within the Quantum Wave function of energetic reality, everything is connected and therefore Oneness is very real. Unity Consciousness is the awakening to, and the raising of, one’s vibration to be a part of this system – consciously.
What are synonyms of Unity Consciousness? Self-truth, humility, empathy, openness, authenticity, co-operation, love, teamwork.
At a more complex level Unity Consciousness means, “if am truthful about me to myself, I can be real and open with you. if I celebrate and bless you, I also raise myself up. If I open up to incorporate your ideas and guidance, I then expand my own capacity and success. If I reach out and grant you a hand in times of need, I have just enriched myself. And if I hurt you, I have in effect just hurt myself – because at the deeper sub atomic level you and I are one.”
Unity consciousness means an awareness, synergy and respect for all systems of life, knowing that they are all interrelated and that to take from another is in effect taking from yourself.
It also means accepting the tougher stuff of life, such as when things seemingly go ‘wrong’.
“There is nothing in my experience that isn’t happening FOR me to allow my self-activation to become even MORE than it was previously, because the Field and I are having an interconnected relationship.”
Unity consciousness also knows that if you expand and prosper in honourable ways then you create greater abundance and flourishing of life for All.
Now you may be thinking this sounds wonderful.
In fact, the cells in your body may be tingling with the re-memberance (the coming back together) of the truth. But you may be thinking “How do I achieve this?”
I’ll address that later, but first of all let’s look at the narcissist’s darkness.
The Narcissist’s Darkness
It’s called Separation Consciousness.
The narcissist has dire feelings of internal powerlessness, because of having the experience of denying the Eternal Oneness of “I am an eternal, immortal spirit connected to All Of IT having a physical experience” – and so he or she comes up with strategies to try to feel powerful.
These are power-plays known as “I’m superior and therefore you must be inferior.”
The behaviours that are synonymous with Separation Consciousness are: dominance, manipulation, exploitation, objectifying, demeaning and destroying. All performed in order to try to feel powerful.
But it’s like taping sandwiches onto your body and thinking you’ve had lunch.
Ironically some narcissists try to get power spiritually. They may stand on pulpits, research and learn about spiritual powers and channelling and the like, but this never grants fearlessness, divine guidance, inner solidness and peace.
Spirituality is not sought by the narcissist to re-enter the Oneness, to be a part of the Divine Whole (All Of It). Rather it is done to try to be “a cut above”, to “have the upper hand” and experience “I win and you lose” from a lens of “me versus you”, “fear” and “lack”, all as a result of Separation Consciousness.
Narcissists in this delusion, scrambling for the goodies, tell themselves that they are more powerful than The Oneness – they believe the Oneness should bow down to and serve them! They demand that it does!
Of course, durably it doesn’t, because the narcissist is not in their heart centre in humility, self-honesty or awareness – the rite of passage to Oneness and a cooperative relationship with self, life and others. Even the Oneness is seen as being another instead of an interconnected aspect of self.
Hence why narcissists’ lives continually display upheaval, setbacks, disasters, and the inevitable ‘crash and burn’ – and the consequent need to recreate life somewhere else.
(Of course, this can happen to all of us in our breakdowns / breakthroughs – yet narcissists never learn from them!)
The narcissist’s insatiable desire to further themselves, regardless of the cost to others, is because their internal False Self is always at them; a relentless inner driver which always wants MORE stuff, money and acclaim in order to try to rid themselves of the powerless, empty, defective internal feeling they terminally have.
No matter what or who they get, the powerful feeling never lasts, it always dissolves back into the abyss, the Separation Consciousness of “I’m alone, not loved or supported and I don’t belong – yet I believe I HAVE to be the Supreme Ruler of All Of It!”
(Good luck with that…)
There is no way to impersonate the Oneness / Supreme Creator / Creation / Life-force itself. You can’t be “All That Is” in Separation Consciousness. You can only access this somatic knowing and beingness through Unity Consciousness.
The narcissist operating from the Small Mind, the Ego, believes they can somehow cheat, lie, manipulate, selfishly withhold and scheme, degrade and belittle and steal their way onto “the throne” of Supreme Beingness.
They can’t.
They will always come up empty, because of NOT being connected to the Oneness of All Of It. That’s their darkness. They hang on to their egoic identity – of being rich, sexy, formidable, this, that or the other – all the minute breakdowns of a delusional reality trying to get “worth”, rather than living in the Light of the only True Worth, which is …
“I am an eternal infinite spirit, a fractal of Creation itself, having a spiritual experience in a physical avatar. Knowing this means I embody and shine out the Light of Truth and Oneness for myself and others.”
If a plant is kept in the dark it wilts. An animal locked in a dark room goes mad, as would a person in solitary confinement without light. A person living in Separation Consciousness, trying to be fulfilled and filled by outer stuff and people, is experiencing the delusion of trying to get life rather than knowing how to Create Life WITH Life.
It’s painful, it hurts. It defies the nature of Lifeforce itself.
But a narcissist does not want to come into the Light. They wish to remain in the darkness.
Why?
Let’s examine this.
Unity Consciousness Starts Within
If we don’t go within, we go without.
People not integrating their Inner Being parts of darkness (shadows) and bringing them back into the Light, either don’t believe in or even want The Light of The Oneness. There are many people who are not narcissists, living extremely painfully in Separation Consciousness (I used to too).
This is the inferiority of “I don’t deserve The Oneness” as opposed to the superiority “I am the King / Queen Overlord”.
It’s Separation Consciousness that created the delusion – the belief that all things are separate and divided. That God / Creation / Source / Life-force is an outer force. That you don’t have access to the Divine Consciousness unless you beg and plead. Or that a Oneness doesn’t exist, and therefore life is a war raging – of those trying to be Gods against those who might bow down to them.
Every Human Being is deciding reality from their Inner Beingness. It’s not an outer force dictating it – because the Inner Universe is intrinsically connected to our Outer Universe.
For all of us, our internal narcissist (egoic mind) doesn’t want us to wake up to this game and put an end to the trying to fix and change “out there” to try to get a shift “in here”. The walking up to Unity Consciousness is this: “As the generative source of my experience, if I want to change my life there is only one place and one thing to change – my Inner Being – then everything changes.”
The narcissist’s internal narcissist, The False Self, is so powerfully entrenched that the narcissist will not admit there is something wrong, that anything needs healing within, or there is inner work that they need to do.
The ego defences are far too powerful.
In horrific ego injury, when the narcissist’s world may crash to terrible lows, there may be a tiny window where the personality defences are not operating and a narcissist may be humble enough to know they need to face their inner self. But as soon as narcissistic supply (any energy from “the outside”) is obtained again, it’s back to narcissistic business as usual…“I am the Supreme Being, it’s everyone else’s fault and there is nothing wrong with me.”
So there it is, the delusion – the Separation Consciousness, the utter refusal to understand, look at and come home to interconnectedness, Oneness and Unity.
Quanta Freedom Healing, in the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), is the tool that allows this shift, one trauma, one false belief at a time to get out of Separation Consciousness and return to our natural organic state, our true essence, namely Unity Consciousness.
This return home is our OWN healing out of the traumas of Separation Consciousness and being ‘a match’ for narcissists. We were choosing them as our God / Source, rather than turning inwards to create True Source within ourselves.
People over the years have asked me time and time again, “Could NARP work on a narcissist?” Yes, absolutely it would IF they would do the inner work – but a narcissist will never do this.
People get confused by apparent “spiritual, aware” narcissists who seem to work on themselves. Do they actually face and release their inner trauma, or do they do the spiritual bypasses of covering it over? Are they cleaning out and healing their emotional gaping wounds, or are they putting band-aids over them that continually fall off?
Have they let go of their outer narcissistic supplies? Supplies are the people, drugs, alcohol, other addictions; buying thing to pump up their ego; crafting the perfect aesthetic image; or whatever else they do in the “getting” stakes to try to create an Inner Beingness – that cannot ever exist as a result of false substitutes.
Do they, when confronted about their behaviour, look honestly at themselves, be humble and take personal responsibility? Or do they continue to project, stonewall, make excuses and attack?
Narcissists refuse to meet their inner black hole, release the traumas, replace them with Source Light and return to Oneness. They just will not ever do it.
Are You Living In The Dark?
Some of you may be reading this and think ‘I’m in the dark too. This is how I am living.”
I know, I understand. I was too, as a result of trying to survive my unhealed internalised trauma – that clogged me up so much I couldn’t possibly feel Unity Consciousness, The Light.
And I questioned, like you may be too, “Am I dark? Am I a narcissist?’ I can be pretty sure like me, in trauma, on the battlefield with a narcissist that you have operated in ways that you are not proud of – but does that make you a narcissist?
There are two differences between us and a narcissist.
Number 1: You don’t naturally operate from a scheming place of, “What can I get?”, “People are mere objects to serve me, and if necessary I won’t hesitate to hurt and take from others to get ahead. “
I promise you that is the natural way a narcissist thinks. All … The … Time.
If you were that person, would you really be looking at my material? You’d be much more likely to be on someone else’s blog, reading an author who talks only about narcissists but doesn’t empower you to self-reflect and heal yourself.
And … 2) You are willing to turn inwards to find and release your trauma, fill those inner spaces with The Light, release the delusion and return to your true organic essence of Unity Consciousness – knowing yourself as a fractal of Source / Creation / Oneness / All That Is, having a physical experience in this avatar that is your body.
Narcissists will never do this. They stay separated in the dark and act like dark separated souls.
Lovely people may not turn inwards to heal either, and they also stay in the dark. A place where narcissistic, parasitical feeders dwell. They can thus become eternal victims to them and the darker aspects of life.
These lovely people may never rise above this.
And sadly, victims take hostages – they spread trauma, fear and pain to others.
Separation Consciousness is the curse of Darkness to overcome for everyone.
In Conclusion
I hope that this conversation has again helped you understand the deeper truth of what is really going on, here on this planet.
This is another third dimensional (Separation Consciousness / The Darkness) versus fifth dimensional (Unity Consciousness / The Light) conversation.
It is the difference between hell and heaven.
We all have a choice and the access point is within.
If it wasn’t for NARP, I would never have been able to make the leap logically. It’s the Quanta Freedom Healings in NARP that do the inner shifts. They can and will do the same for you. Plus, our incredible NARP global team help you with this tectonic shift.
Did this article resonate with you? Can you feel the distinct difference between Unity and Separation Consciousness? Do you feel like you are awakening to The Truth?
Let me know in your comments below.
Dear Melanie!
First I would soooo like to say that all your personal Selfless Work and creation of (NARP) for us as, that is becoming more and more important, as we live in this world of narcissistic insanity while your work and teaching has become/is becoming or IS simultaneously, truly, a, NOW significant “boon for all of humanity”….🙌
I guess that’s my way of saying thank you for so much that you do for so many people on this earth in a kind of wordy way….😌
Anyway, today’s article really intrigued me….I try not to think that narcissists are just simply dark although sometimes I would like to! The narcissists that I have known in my life, axiomatically and without equivocation, are devoid of a conscience, emotional center, general morals, integrity, etc. etc. etc.!
When I’ve engaged with these individuals and these types of individuals I’ve noticed that there is often an absence of “light” which to me would mean they live in a kind of “darkness” emotionally and most importantly live with/in a kind of spiritual deprivation…
It’s actually kind of a creepy experience….
Today, your article, makes it abundantly clear to me that it’s not important to KNOW whether a narcissist is dark or whatever rainbow color they live in….
The clear and understood lesson that I got from you today is that what’s important is for me to live in light and in a deeper emotionally sensible state, aligned with NARP guidance, each day I can! 🦋
I know that if I do that I won’t have to worry about other peoples “darkness”….
Anyway, I can’t say how much I appreciate getting these articles from you every few days. And, I so appreciate your responses to me personally that you so kindly share….
Thank you so much, Melanie, for EVERYTHING…..
❤️🦋❤️
❤️🌹❤️ I purchased Melanie’s book . I really appreciate these conversations. SO VALIDATING 🤗🌹❤️🌹 Thank you very much for the truth and clarity ❤️🌹❤️
Thank you for your insight and most helpful advice in healing from my past abusive relationship. I do understand better now that I thought it would get but it only got worse. It has taken me years to realise that I was a victim and it wasn’t my fault. I still have work to do but I know longer feel guilty about not being able to withstand the storms. I think I would be dead now if I had have continued trying yo make it work. I now know it never would. I thank god I was strong enough to walk away.
Thank goodness you DID walk away Renata!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Melanie!
Once again your insights are priceless!
It is a spiritual battle…difficult to sort with either a logical mind or an emotional operating system…
“Dispelling Wetiko” is another way to look at this.
Quantum explains this…
We generate our experience…
I was my own worst demon…sure, what happened to me should never happen to anyone…for a boy of nine…it was devastating for my young mind just didn’t have enough knowledge to process…
I just made it up that “God” didn’t love me for allowing “that” to happen to me…
I didn’t understand “Free Will”
I made it up I was defective, unworthy…just not good enough…
It made me successful…I busted my arse…and learned much…trying to be good enough? I was obsessed…yet in being a perfectionist…I really learned a wide variety of ways to make money.
Pretty sure I was narcissistic when I was a young man…completely arrogant to make up for my emptiness…insecurity, crushed spirit…
I was in search of my innocence…which I falsely believed was “taken from me” …something which can only be given…it is and was mine…just like my mind, my upset, my anger, my love, my pain, my, my, my???
Ownership, Honesty, Integrity, Honor and Self Respect are now mine too!
I had sex with Many…it became empty also…I didn’t care about them…I wanted to…I just didn’t, I was entirely selfish in trying to feel good about myself…It didn’t work…I was empty.
I wanted more…didn’t know how…unfortunately I went overboard and became a people pleaser, co-dependent…searching for love outside myself…by giving up my resources…
Finally I learned…unconditional Love, Trust…aren’t quite what I thought…
Always consequences for not having boundaries…It is actually selfish and enabling to others not to challenge and “gently” put them in their place…Self care, Self Respect far more important than “being liked”
You don’t have to like me…if you desire to be in my world…you will respect me of leave…quietly!
Love You Mel! Certainly an Inspiration for me…I don’t need to always agree with you…I do respect you vast knowledge…
Thank you James,
and I respect and enjoy reading your very thoughtful comments, as well as your incredible breakthroughs!
Lots of love back to you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you for this article which I found very enlightening.
I often think about and worry about the narcissist in my life and all who are similar. I worry that they are doomed to darkness without free will and why it is that people are like this
Although I have been hurt badly by the person in my life, I don’t wish ill on him and worry that he is doomed to a life of misery without choice.
Hi Jennifer,
there is always a choice.
And, if we all stopped enabling, fixing and offering ourselves up as narcissistic supply – narcissists would be left with only themselves to face and heal.
Please know this to be true – the kindest most loving thing you can ever do is .. step … away … and be a force for good, rather than drown in the trauma with them – only adding to the darkness.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you so much, Melanie. You have put into words the truth I have found in my spiritual path in my recovery from the narcissist. I am so gratified to read your words and hear again the truth from another who has walked the same path. I thank you for this and the your dedication to discerning, articulating, and sharing. It is spiritual; it is choice; it is for God. 🙏❤️ Carol H.
Thank you Carol for your lovely note!
Much love to you Dear Sister!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
What a poignantly beautiful deep dive you have taken us on Melanie!
Helping us to see beyond the superficial and opening our eyes to the profound reality beyond the superficial.
This deeper revelation of quantum truth that draws us and shows us that there truly is more than meets the eye and that we can all go on this incredible journey – to see the 90 percent of the iceberg as opposed to just the ten percent!
This article is an invitation for anyone who desires to go deeper into the universe inside themselves, an infinite place full of wonder and beauty. When you start this journey within, the need for the outside validation decreases.
It changes our perspective to a much higher level and it causes us to go beyond mere survival to realizing that there a MUCH BIGGER PICTURE!
It brings meaning and purpose,…and we were made for such as this!
We don’t need to settle for the mediocre, we are invited to explore this place, where as you say Melanie, we can thrive!
Because we are a beautiful universe inside of ourselves and we are called to be pioneers of exploration of this incredible universe!
Stars, and comets, and nebulas – just like the wonder we feel when we look out at the night sky, we can find this as we look inside at the universe inside us!
How beautiful Melanie….that you have brought us to this place, to go inside and find the vast beauty, sooooo worth taking good care of!
What an astounding revelation!
What a wonderful opportunity!
Thank you Melanie, for showing us again, that there is more than meets the eye! And this gives us hope!
Thank YOU Matti for your beautiful synopsis of these Quantum Truths.
I ADORE everything you wrote!
I LOVE that this gives you hope.
Please know how welcome you are and love and blessings to you.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
If you and I are one, then maybe, just a thought, we get so enmeshed and obsessed to save them bc instinctually we know that in order for us to ascend as a collective, everyone counts and we mustn’t leave any man behind. Never say never. Let’s pray and hope and God bless, the healing to break the chains that bind us through them. Maybe they will and we’ll all finally get there. And mothers don’t raise your boys to be cowboys
After more than twenty years of confusion, hurt and desperately trying, hoping and praying for understanding my son’s critical, disrespecting, disregard, unappreciative, actual mean, unacknowledged, unapologetic treatment, resulting in chronic depression and hospitalization, I was blessed to stumble upon your program. I also committed to therapy. I began to learn of my contribution to his narcissism through my non-differentiated and co-dependent mothering; always solving his problems, financing his escapades…I so needed his validation and his love so that I could go to ‘mother’s heaven’ !Ignorance of latent, lingering effects from my own childhood, I unintentionally wrecked any possibility of a relationship. He distanced himself once I began to heal
My heart goes out to you. May your healing have a ripple effect and touch on your son. Allow yourself grace and continue with Quantum. I believe your inner thoughts are so powerful you can positively affect this relationship. Just believe and pray, allow patience. ❤️🔆
Hi Dr Helen,
you are doing the right thing – for you And for him.
I pray that one day, for both of you, he comes home to the truth – which can only happen through you honouring you and no longer enabling him.
Much Love to both of you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Best article I have ever read. Thank you
I’m glad you loved this Sarah!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie
Thank you for helping me to see that some people do not have a conscience. There is no line they will not cross and nothing I say or do will change that. But crucially that none of what has happened to me was my fault.
Yes! Yes! Yes! All the best to you.
I love what you just wrote here Zelda.
There is much power in accepting the truth!
Much Love to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
thank you,
we need so much help these days. being treated like 2nd hand. it is hard to comprehend and for our hearts and mind, we have to move on with hurt and wounds but healing on our travels. the more i learn, the more i know that i am growing, but slow trudging one. along the road we travel, not to hurt people on the way, have no ears to hear us, and it does hurt, no one wants to hear us. not only within the family, in laws, out laws and friends (loosing them on the way, seems like alot loosing their away)
it is ashame, for people that are nasty towards there loved ones, who are helpers, being there, loving etc towards people that you love….it hurts.
I trust in Our Creator. more and more.
and thank you for your wonderful work Melanie and sharing your experiences.
thank you
lily
I have studied this issue for many years. All my reading of Ekhart Tolle,
Course of Miracles and others has lead me to the same conclusion you have just made here. You are very articulate in the way you have communicated that being one with the” light of the world “ gives joy and happiness. The peace that comes from being aware is how is survived.
Narcissistic abuse was all I ever knew. My mother was a narcissist and both of my ex wives were narcissist. When my 40 year long marriage to my last narcissist ended my psychiatrist told me that I had never been loved in my entire life (I was in my late 60’s then). When the marriage ended, in her rage, my ex in her rage defamed me to everyone that I knew. I lost everyone and everything I knew. I felt totally alone and abandoned. My church even turned on me so I figured God did not love me either. I had a really hard time just holding on for a long, long time and I lived on hate for a couple of years. I felt guilty for having believed the lies and allowing all of those horrible things happen to me. I figured it was my fault and could not bring myself to forgive me for my shortcomings. I came to the realization that there truly was evil in this world and that some people actually embrace it. I’m finally finding some of the light and happiness that I was craving. Life looks and feels different. Ms. Thomas, you are one of the reasons that I am still alive today and I thank you for your insight. Things do get better.
Sorry, that’s Ms. Evans.
I’m so happy for you that things are getting lighter and better Ken!
Sending you continued blessings
Mel 🙏💞🦋
When there is a narcissist in the family you grew up in as in my case, you are attracted to the same again. It has taken me in my seventies to realise this. Hopefully now I can heal, but there is still the trauma that lingers. I was lucky to meet and have over 20 years with my soul-mate after a long marriage to a narcissist. My family wouldn’t allow me to leave that marriage. But six years ago my soul-mate suicides after being persuaded by my younger brother that it was the right thing to do. It is impossible for me to have a friendship with this narcissist brother as he is still trying to convince me that my soul-mate did the right thing, and will not acknowledge any grief I am feeling, so the wound remains open.
Hi Kerrie,
you are so right that is the usual unconscious pattern that we follow.
Please know my healing program NARP is so effective because it loads, up releases and replaces the trauma, therefore allowing you to live free from it http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp
I am so sorry that you have been through so much and for the loss of your soul mate.
Absolutely heart wrenching.
Sending you love and healing
Mel 🙏💞🦋
This is the best description of Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit that I have ever heard.