The 7 Ways Your Life Transforms After Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse

Today I want to share with you 7 key things that I learned about when I was recovering from narcissistic abuse. These were wonderful by-products that came from my journey of healing from the inside out.

Initially, I thought I was just healing from narcissistic abuse. As time went by, I discovered I was healing my Soul and my life in ways which exceeded my wildest expectations.

Through Thriver narcissistic abuse recovery, I finally found the way to heal the limiting beliefs and traumas that I had always thought were “me” and “my life” – even before abuse.

Let’s just dive into what I know is possible for you as well …

 

Number 1 – Trusting Your Intuition and Never Abandoning Your Feelings Again

As a child you may have been told, “No, nothing’s wrong … everything is fine” when your gut told you otherwise. And, “don’t think about it,” when you were mad or sad … “go and do something to take you mind off it.”

This caused you to distrust your own gut by thinking, “Mum or Dad is right, I must be wrong” and to learn “I shouldn’t feel and process my feelings.”

In narcissistic abuse our intuition was screaming at us that this person was lying and things were very wrong, yet the narcissist invalidated our inner signals, told us WE had it wrong, were defective, over-sensitive and that we ourselves were the problem.

We second-guessed our intuition and our feelings, and were totally confused about whether or not our inner guidance was off or we were possibly insane. We were abused so much for trying to back ourselves that we backed down and abandoned what we were feeling to try to keep from being abused or abandoned.

In my healings with the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) I realised that if I didn’t partner with myself, I would forever be handing my power away to others who may not necessarily have my best interests, or the truth, at heart. I worked diligently with the Quanta Freedom Healings to release enough trauma to be “at one” with myself.

I finally could self-partner, be with myself, soothe my inner child, hold her, deeply work at healing her to wholeness, and start to trust my feelings and back them up in ways that did serve me … which leads on to Number 2!

 

Number 2 – The Ability To Speak Up When Things Feel Off

As a child the messages you may have received were, “Children are seen and not heard.” You might have experienced the fears of CRAP when you did try to speak up against your parent’s viewpoint, and felt criticised, rejected, abandoned or punished.

This is magnified greatly in a relationship with a narcissist. When narcissists feel challenged in regard to their narrative, they suffer a narcissistic injury and turn on you, making it stressful and even terribly traumatic to speak up.

This piece was one of my most powerful and exciting transformations – having done enough inner healing to grow beyond the fear of other people’s opinion of me for trusting myself and speaking my truth.

I had learned that if I was honest and backed ME, that people with the desire and capacity to be good people could hear me, validate me and communicate with me. Yet, I had no need for them to – because people who were controlling, narcissistic and didn’t have my best interests at heart, and who had hidden agendas, were exposed when healthily confronted.

To never again lose myself, meant being prepared to risk losing other people, which leads into Number 3!

 

Number 3 – Having Strong Boundaries

When we were little it was impossible to have strong boundaries. A child can’t say to a parent, “If you speak to me horribly, I will hang up the phone or leave the room every time you do it until you are respectful” or “I will no longer live with an addict. If this continues, I’m leaving.”

Like so many of us, I had no idea prior to Thriver Healing what a true boundary was. I thought that it was about lecturing and prescribing to someone how wrong they were behaving until they “heard me” and “started acting nicely.” This formula didn’t work with anyone in my life, even non-narcissistic people!

I now adore that shaping my life doesn’t depend on someone else “getting” my boundary, it only requires me to “get” it! Which is the only way a boundary works.

It’s the inner knowing of who I am and what my values and truth are. When I can stop pointing out what other people have done wrong, and simply state my truth such as: “I only accept kindness, integrity, teamwork and solution building” it changes everything.

I know that twists, turns, diversions, lies, non-topical discussions, blame throwing and other childish mechanisms are not my values, and I have my answer – this person is not a match for me and not someone I choose to align with anymore. I will let them go. They are not responsible for my life – as an adult I AM.

This application led me to experience the gifts of Number 4!

 

Number 4 – Experiencing The Law Of Plenty

There are many layers of limiting beliefs that we were programmed to believe from a young age. Things like, “You just have to make do / put up with it / you won’t get anything better than this.” And, “Men and women are just like that.” As well as, “Life is tough and suffering is normal.”

Unconsciously we may have believed that we were stuck with our lot in life, we have to hang on to what and who we have and if we let go, we may not get anything or anyone better.

Please know I’m all for working at relationships and not treating them as disposable commodities, yet when you are in a narcissistic relationship it doesn’t matter how many shapes you try to twist yourself into it’s always going to get worse and not better.

I also believe we have a Soul purpose to honour the truth of our Soul, which is screaming at us when being abused – that this is not the truth we were designed to live.

I love, now, as a result of knowing my values and standing for them, that I don’t fall for “less than” anymore. If something feels wrong, I speak up and if someone doesn’t share my established healthy values I can let them go, knowing there IS better to come.

I know how Quantum Law works, that whatever we accept is what we get, and it is the level at which Life meets us. I used to choose people, jobs and opportunities against my gut feelings because of the fear of “this could be my only opportunity” and of course the results ended up awful – just as my gut was telling me all along.

Now, and for years, I have experienced in every area of my life (without exception) the grand up-levelling when I have taken my time, done my due diligence, investigated, spoken up and stopped accepting “words blindly” and said “No” to what wasn’t my truth.

With the space cleared, my Higher Truth arrives, and in many cases this has been incredibly effortless!

It is true that our life is shaped from our choices! Because I have taken my power back and I now honour me, life honours me.

Which leads me to Number 5!

 

Number 5 – Finding A Level Of Self-Love, Value And Confidence I Never Knew Existed

My old way of life used to be conditional – meaning how I felt about me depended on how other people felt about me.

My Thriver Healing Recovery allowed my distrust in life and others to vanish. No longer did I have to fear my life, because now I trusted myself.

This enormous shift, that happened as a result of NARP and Quanta Freedom Healing, allowed me to start living without fear and granted me feelings and results I had never known existed – unconditional on what anyone else was or wasn’t doing.

The people and situations who didn’t match my True Self and Life faded away, and the people and situations who did started to appear.

I now knew what it was like to be Thriving!

Which brings me to Number 6!

 

Number 6 – Being Able To Align With And Attract Healthy People Into My Life

My previous self had always tried to fix and change people so that they could grant me love, approval, security and survival. As a Thriver I learned and now stood up to the plate. I knew this was my job and I had the power to grant this to myself.

Because I no longer felt needy, empty and trying to find a saviour, or be someone’s saviour so that they may love me (co-dependency) I was able to take my time with relationships, investigate, ensure I understood what people’s true values were (rather than just look for compatibility with interests) show up honestly and allow others to as well.

I also stopped expecting “more” from people who didn’t have the resources for evolutionary relationships, including some family members, and opened up to connect with people who did have this desire and capacity.

My life now is blessed with many like-minded Thriver tribe members in family, work, love and play. I really do feel like I have it all and I no longer burn my energy on relationships that are not good for me.

There is another deep truth I learned about relationship – to apply not just to people, but literally anything, that I will share with you as the last lesson – Number 7.

 

Number 7 – Non-attachment To People And Things

My previous life from the “outside in” meant that certain people or things were my identity. If a certain person wasn’t loving me, I felt unlovable and like I didn’t belong. If I didn’t own a certain number of things I felt like a failure or defective.

Now my only attachment is to my Soul and Source, what feels right and what grants me peace on the inside.

In my previous Life I didn’t want to accept certain truths. My ego would hang on stubbornly to the way it wanted things to be. Now I love being fluid and not needing absolutes, guarantees, or trying to control things.

I absolutely used to be a complete and utter control freak – and it was because I had so much fear inside me of “what could go wrong” or “I need for my identity for it to be THIS way!”

Letting go of attachments has granted me the greatest gift of all – Soul Freedom, and being able to be available, open and flexible enough to align with my highest and best outcomes and the plan Source has for me.

I know Source has my back. I know by aligning with my values and truths that Source grants more of this, and I know that if I show up in life trusting and following my inner guidance there is nothing to fear.

 

In Conclusion

Even before narcissistic abuse I had no idea that life could flow and have blessings like this. You couldn’t gift me a bunch of exotic islands and trillions of dollars to go back to the way I felt before Thriver Healing.

It wasn’t until the narcissist brought me to my knees where life couldn’t go on as normal (at the time I just wanted it to go back to normal) and I healed in the most extraordinary ways, that I discovered my previous normal was far inferior to my “natural” now.

I hope what I have shared with you today can inspire you to know your extraordinary, yet so organically easy, True Self and True Life awaits you too.

It is my absolute humble joy to help you break through, as well as live the birthright you were born to live without your internal trauma. My highest suggestion to get you started on how to achieve this, is my FREE 2-part Masterclass

I’m looking forward to answering your comments and questions below!