The destruction of narcissistic fathers is far-reaching and is a problem that is truly plaguing our world. Many of you may have experienced that, with a narcissistic father, your boundaries couldn’t develop – because you didn’t have any. It is also likely that, no matter what you ever did, it wasn’t enough to earn his love or approval. When you were in need of care, love or advice, the conversations became about all about him and about his problems, blaming you or telling you what you were or weren’t doing to make him happy.

The effect on a child’s self-worth and self-value can be devastating – but how does this affect females and males differently? What happens to adult children of narcissistic fathers in their future relationships? Please know it IS possible for people to heal from the inner devastation of a narcissistic parent (mother or father), even if abuse is all you have ever known and even if it has continued into your adult life, as so many people in this Thriver Community have achieved.

In this Thriver TV episode, I’m going to cover how you can heal yourself from a toxic upbringing. I also talk about co-parenting with a narcissistic father and how you can help your sons and daughters survive, heal and Thrive despite this. It is my deepest wish that I can grant you relief and solutions for you and your children, from the terrible wounds of a narcissistic father.



Video Transcript

Welcome to Thriver TV, the place to break free from narcissistic abuse with quantum tools and understandings. Today I’m doing an episode on narcissistic fathers because many people have asked for it, and I want to approach this topic from several angles. First, I will discuss what happens to adult children raised by narcissistic fathers, and then I will explain the challenges mothers have with their girls and boys due to co-parenting with a narcissistic father. It’s my deepest wish today that I can grant you relief and solutions for both of these situations.


Acknowledge The Pain of Being Raised by a Narcissistic Father

If you are a member of our community who was raised by a narcissistic father, the following has likely happened to you. Your boundaries were never allowed to develop. The narcissistic father would have felt entitled to infiltrate your emotional, mental, physical, psychic and maybe even sexual space from a young age. It’s also very likely that you only ever experienced conditional love. You received false promises which were never kept and you discovered that your father’s own personal agenda was much more important than keeping his word.

You were punished emotionally, mentally, and even physically for not performing to a standard that was significant enough to appease his ego. That’s the conditional love side of it. If he were the engulfing and controlling type of parent, that punishment would’ve been really accentuated. Whereas if he was a distant unavailable parent, then it’s likely that he was off having his double life receiving narcissistic supply somewhere else through his career or affairs.

Either way, you likely felt like you were always trying to win his love and approval.

You may have heard others say, “Your father is very proud of you,” yet you didn’t hear that from him. Instead, you felt criticised, always trying to meet a mark he wanted you to meet, and you felt short of it repeatedly. When you needed your father to be there for you, he was more interested in his needs than looking after yours. You may have been told to get over it and get on with it.

When you tried to talk to him when you needed love and support, you got a mouthful about his troubles, how you don’t have any, and what you haven’t done for him lately. You also found out that when he did wrong, all he would do was blame you, and he didn’t take responsibility for his actions.

It is likely that the mother or woman (either your mother or stepmother) that this man partnered with had been programmed with a selfish, abusive, and self-absorbed parent in her childhood. Which means that she tried to meet his needs unsuccessfully. The narcissistic father may have used you or other siblings as a tool to punish her, ridicule her, and gang up against her.

Your mother may have played the role of the enabler or the martyr or may have been a part of the toxic, abusive dance that happens when people don’t take the behaviour lying down but don’t know how to lay boundaries and stand up healthily either. The pattern was there for your mother figure, raising her children like she was raised, wounded and unconscious. For any of us from families of unconsciousness, it’s up to us to heal the wounds and the patterns inside us. Changing it for ourselves, our children, future generations and our world.


How Narcissistic Fathers Affect the Girl Child

I want you to understand that this description is only a guide. What may have happened to a female may also have happened to a male and vice versa. It would help if you didn’t get too caught up in this, but it is very helpful to understand it. During this episode, I will talk about him and her in a heterosexual sense, but it can also apply to same-sex relationships in the future.

The message girls receive very quickly from a narcissistic father is that being female is unsafe. Her father ruled the household even if he was in prison, greatly affecting how her mother was or wasn’t feeling and acting. A little girl with a narcissistic father learns that her needs want, and opinions are not necessary. Suppose she feels hurt, confused, or sad; rather than receiving comfort and understanding (i.e., allowing her to be feminine), she receives punishment or rejection.

Leading from her heart and soul with emotional intelligence, her greatest asset, leaves her empty, hurt and powerless. She starts to harden up and get into her head instead. She dismisses her inner feelings and disconnects from herself. She begins to distrust her inner world, which is diabolical for women. Women are not meant to be in their heads- their power is from within. Then she starts to find superficial ways to earn love and approval. She tries to be prettier, smarter, more accommodating to his needs, more successful, whatever it takes to win his support.

Yet she feels very unsure of herself to succeed. Her self-worth and her self-love aren’t solid. She feels like people think she’s not good enough. When she tries to stand up and take charge, she believes she’s judged as a bitch because she’s far too much in her masculine. Then she feels shot down and condemned for being too strong, yet she knows that if she’s too soft, she’ll relieve the annihilation she felt when her heart was torn to shreds by her father’s cruel treatment at her softest vulnerable moment.

Additionally, it’s hardwired at the core of a woman’s inner being to win the approval of the man in her life so that he will protect her, look after her, and keep her safe, starting with her father. However, we’re in a massive shift now, and all of these beliefs are being upgraded by women doing the inner work to move out of these precarious survival programs.

These survival programs used to work for some women and did in the yesteryears. However, they are now outdated in this shift of sharing power and generating unity consciousness with men rather than living in symbiotic and codependent relationships. This shift has only happened in the current generation. Those of us who are above 35 years are really in the thick of a shift. We are emerging from the hard-wiring symbiotic, co-dependent relationships that our parents lived. We have had to shift out of this programming, and our children, especially girls, will not cling to men, as they have choices, independence and power.

Women no longer have to hand power away to be protected and provided for, as they can do that now for themselves. But if we did not have a father who took nurturing, healthy care of us and didn’t have a mother in her power, then our ancient survival programming would tell us differently.

If a father is harsh; emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychically, and physically, we want a big strong man to protect us. Yet the inner program of “Daddy hurts me” will mean that we hand over power, time and time again, to men who are not safe whilst trying to get them to approve of us and protect us. We try to earn his approval and love by being more of this or less of that.


Wounded Women Connecting With The New Order of Men

A wounded adult woman with a narcissistic father will likely have major attachment issues that severely undermine intimacy. She is too scared that if she gets close and fully commits, the man will emotionally annihilate her again. She may pick people who are too damaged and incapable of having genuine relationships.

Then she may act out her extreme sexuality or take on many of his household duties, trying to make herself indispensable and get a connection with him, then wonder why he remains emotionally distant. She may suffer terrible panic and terror of abandonment if he tries to leave her. Or if it looks like it could happen, she may get in first and deliver the strike of leaving. She may feel totally uninspired and have no attraction to men who are healthy enough to have relationships. She may act narcissistically to push men away when they get too loving or close. Then maddeningly, if he has had enough and pulls away, she may feel this short-lived, incredible love, desire to connect, and longing and then the cycles continue.

It can be a mess, making many toxic and painful relationship patterns. She then realises that her only possibility for changing these self-defeating patterns is to heal her original wounds so that she’s no longer projecting the programs of trauma and fear on men. When she heals enough to live fully and authentically without her inner wounds, she can attract and co-generate a relationship of shared power with a man who loves her as she is.

I promise you; this is exactly what happens when we get there. These men, the new order, are totally available. Many come from families of women who are in their power and fully themselves and loved by good men. Or they did the work on themselves to know they wanted an equal relationship, not one with a dependent woman who was not by his side, creating a life together as his equal. It’s not true that being equal threatens good men. They certainly aren’t. They weren’t in the yesteryears, and they aren’t today.


How to Lead by Example

If you are co-parenting your daughter with a narcissistic father, it’s so important to lead by example. You should know your mind and live by being fiercely loving, authentic, and strong in your body. This is not about being anti-men but having healed enough of our traumas to fully be ourselves in life and with men, which means being feminine with presence, care, kindness, and an opinion.

If we could not be ourselves, loved, and approved by our fathers, we have much healing to do to show up on this level. We must heal our fear of men, drop into our bodies and start generating belief and power within ourselves. When we do this, our daughters will follow and will never tolerate a man who doesn’t love her as much as she values, loves and believes in herself, regardless of whether her father is a narcissist.

I passionately believe it is vital for our daughters to stop being dependent on men for love, approval, security or survival. Many people get annoyed with me for stating this belief. Narcissistic fathers know how to dodge their responsibilities, hide money, and play games. You play the victim if you’re incensed and jump up and down when they don’t do the right thing with child support. It is a terrible experience for you and your children and will teach your daughter to be a victim to men who don’t support her adequately.

The worst thing you can teach your daughter is to try to force somebody to take care of her while she stays disempowered and has no resources to be a generative source to herself because her mother was a victim. I’m sorry if this sounds really tough, and I’ve seen how the pattern is a recipe for your daughter to become a powerless victim to a future abusive partner.

My take is that most abusers don’t do the right thing. Trying to force them makes you sick, powerless and stuck in your poverty consciousness. Break free and generate your great life and leave them behind in the dust. Who cares what they do or don’t get away with? If you can force them to justice and it isn’t going to tie you or your life up for long, then do it. Otherwise, move on and create your own.

We should ask ourselves one question: “Suppose I do that, whatever it is, will I be hampering myself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually from being free, healing, and generating the life I want to live?” Notice the emphasis on the life I will be generating myself.

No one is responsible for your life- you are, and as the only responsible parent, you are responsible for your children’s life. You can’t make crocodiles roll over so you can scratch their tummy like a dog any more than you can force a narcissist to do the right thing and give a crap about other people- not even their children. How do our children learn?

The only way they learn, I promise you, is not by lecturing, prescribing or telling them how terrible other people are but by observing daily what we do and how we live our lives.



Narcissistic Fathers and Scapegoat Children

Narcissistic fathers often create a scapegoat out of their children. This is often the child in the family with high sensitivity, a caring attitude for others, a beautiful heart, and spirituality. There are so many scapegoats in this community, and These are not qualities the narcissistic father admires but detests them.

The scapegoat bears the brunt of the narcissist’s cruelty the most. This child can be a boy, but she’s often a girl. This child is abused, punished severely, treated as worthless, and may be used as a servant to the narcissist. This child is also blamed for everything that goes wrong in the family. This child is most likely to be the damaged codependent who ends up in relationships with abusive partners, always trying to appease them, fix them, and earn their love to try to stay safe. This is also the child most prone to anxiety, depression, breakdowns, and serious nervous system and mental disorders in the future.

If you were the scapegoat, I can’t recommend the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) enough for you to heal. Nothing short of deep, powerful releasing of traumas and reprogramming your inner identity will help. The only other options are to try to live with a terrible trauma inside you and manage it, which I don’t believe is life at all. It certainly isn’t the Thriver life. It takes work to heal from the damage, but I promise you it is doable. Many scapegoated adult children in this community are now thriving beautifully.

If your child is the scapegoat, it will be devastating for you to watch. But the more you heal yourself, the more you can empower her or him. Tell her she is beautiful as she is, and the father is the one with words that aren’t true. It’s not up to her to fix him. Tell her he’s unhappy with himself, so he says mean things to her.

Encourage her to say no, and validate her opinions and feelings regardless of what he says. Don’t attack what he does to her because he will just up the ante, knowing it gets to you. Just empower her to detach from it, be herself and love herself. For example, could you teach her boundaries and self-worth? If you are a NARP member, I highly recommend healing the scapegoated child by proxy. If you Google “Shifts Happen,” you can watch Devin, the beautiful lady whose child I worked with, who will help you know how to use those healings.


How Narcissistic Fathers Affect the Boy Child

What I’ve said here about daughters also happens with sons as well. Additionally, narcissistic fathers are generally very hard on their sons, competing with them, berating them, and even cruelly punishing them, leaving them feeling like they will never measure up. Just like his daughters, the son will feel dismissed (emotionally and mentally), feel invalidated and not good enough when every conversation is redirected to the narcissistic father when he should support the boy’s needs and development.

Self-worth and the ability to feel validated as a boy growing into a man are severely diminished. This can set him up with an obsessive-compulsive workaholic psyche, always trying to do more and get more to feel worthy. A complete reversal is when he gives up, even engaging in serious substance abuse activities and destructive behaviour when depressed or during a self-loathing period of “I’m a failure.”


Wounded Adult Men in Relationships

As an adult in a relationship, the boy raised with a narcissistic father but not a narcissist himself may choose victimised damaged women, subconsciously trying to save his mom from the trauma and pain she endured with abuse.

The inner program is, “If I can just fix you, then you’re going to be available to love me” because the mother wasn’t available either. Like his sisters, he doesn’t realise that the narcissistic parent has severely damaged his fears of intimacy, getting close to people, and having genuine love relationships. Therefore, he may choose people incapable of real relationships to stay safe. He may never feel good enough, always trying to prove his worth by being an overachiever. He ends up with narcissistic partners who echo his father, always raising the bar and never being appeased.

He could also be unconsciously attracted to narcissistic, superficial, materialistic women who always want more and more of what he can make and offer them. Like his damaged sisters, the boy parented by a narcissistic father will have attachment issues. He will suffer big triggers of not being valued, understood, and validated. He may act those out quite aggressively if a partner doesn’t agree with him about something or doesn’t show him the attention he wants at a certain time.

He may also be jealous and insecure if he feels like someone is detaching from him. If people get too close to him, he may feel terrified, needing to pull away and back off. When he cannot love these people healthily or give them what they need from him, he feels terribly lost, confused, and frustrated as to why he can’t sustain a healthy relationship.


Narcissistic Fathers and Golden Children

These fathers tend to gravitate to the child with the most narcissistic supply. This is the golden child and is often a boy; on rare occasions, it’s a girl. The narcissist sees the golden child as possessing the qualities he wants to be himself. Generally, this child is perceived as the strongest, the most successful, the most attractive, and the most admired of all the children by other people.

The narcissist grants the golden child preferential treatment and attention, using them as a measuring stick against the other children who don’t measure up, and flaunts this child’s accomplishments to all who will listen. This child is being groomed to be an extension of the narcissist. Often the golden child becomes a narcissist, sadly. The golden child, a narcissistic boy, who was given the dream run compared to his siblings, is likely to be the most damaged, and his healing possibilities are very slim. He probably believes that in relationships, he is just as entitled as what his father has been and what his father’s granted him, and he’ll act out as his father did.

If you are a man who has suffered the brunt of a narcissistic father, there is damage to heal. The formative years of establishing a healthy inner identity were compromised because of the cruelty and lack of genuine love and validation of your worth.

If a narcissistic father is parenting your boy, the most important thing to instil in him is a sense of worthiness. He needs to know that you see his inherent manliness just as he is and that you believe he’s going to be amazing, and he’ll find his way, and he can achieve whatever he chooses with his heart. Back him and support him in healthy, calm, solid ways. Be the healthiest, the most healed parent you can be for him.

If your boy is being groomed to be a golden child, treat him like the other children when you can access him. Please don’t let him get away with abuse, overentitlement and grandiose behaviour. Teach him that his actions have consequences. Then prepare to ride the storms he and his father erupt into when you set boundaries and hold them firm. You may likely lose him to his father, but you would have lost him anyway if you did nothing and enabled him to be as he’s been groomed. This is your only shot at him growing up not to be a narcissist. You will only worsen if you pander to him and try to win his approval.



If this information resonates with you deeply, you can recognise that it is necessary to heal, whether a narcissistic father raised you or is happening to your child now. As an adult who wants to be conscious and create healing and solutions (you wouldn’t even be watching this channel if you didn’t), please know that the power has to be in you.

You’ve got to lead the way for yourself and your children. One of the ways I can help you the most is if you experience what it is to transform your inner being. These videos and episodes are informational healing, but transformational healing takes place at the cellular and internal identity level, which is what my work is about.

I’d love to invite you to my free webinar and 16-day recovery course, where you can get a free invitation to my workshop and lots more resources. All you have to do is come with an open mind and heart. In three hours, I can help you understand how to get relief, hope and freedom from doing the inner work, no matter what abuse you’ve been through or how long it’s been wedged in your being.

I hope this has helped and may have explained many things to you. No matter what side of it you are on, it’s always about healing our wounds first. Whether it concerns our wounds or our children’s, you must lead the way in healing.

Until the next episode, keep smiling, keep healing, and keep thriving because there’s nothing else to do.

Lots of love. Bye-bye.

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77 thoughts on “Narcissistic Fathers – Healing Yourself And Protecting Your Children From A Toxic Upbringing

  1. Thanks so so much for this

    I can relate to aspects of having a father with narcissistic traits – for me – I feel like there was a lack of acknowledgement of my emotional experience – in actual fact a reaction if I had one

    I now co parent with a man with extreme narcissistic traits of a 6 year old boy

    But I am feeling confused – His attacks of late have increased as I have been setting new boundaries and feeling stronger in myself
    But where he goes is – telling me how damaged my son is, and screams about how the only way to fix him is if I do everything he says (put myself in his company and in the firing line, and ultimately more care – he already has 45% care), that I am a terrible mother that cannot provide for him, and when my son comes into his care, he has ‘lost his spark for life’

    Without going into the usual justifications about how my son actually is (as Im working on that – as that is what the narc wants me to do), does this sound to you like the behaviour of a narc?

    I think he wants a ‘golden child’, but he is not getting it, as my son is sensitive, and he is being triggered by his emotional experience

    But I know too, not to try and work it out


    1. Hi Rachel,

      it’s my pleasure.

      The truth is with Ns yes they will up the ante to perceived boundaries, which means that the boundaries from us need to more defined and include a firmer Modified Contact.

      This means refusing to have those conversations with him, when he throws accusations at you. And also please know his accusations are harassment, they are abuse – and if recorded could be grounds for you to have a harassment order taken out against him.

      My Family Wizard, may be the best solution, as a portal to communicate with him about your son, and this is something worth talking to a solicitor about

      I would suggest creating boundaries that don’t allow his contact and harassment toward you and then keep doing what you are doing – which is healing you, any triggers and doing what is best for you and your son – regardless of what he tries to throw at you.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

      1. Melanie I had exactly this type of childhood now my daughter is an addict I have been sober but still damaged my daughter has totally discarded me because she has been hurt by her father and myself. I have been honest with her about her behaviour she is angry I do not trust her as she lies continuously she is 33 and has a daughter who has suffered her crazy behaviour just like she suffered my crazy behaviour when I was an addict. Our life is an absolute mess and I have to lead the way. I am so tired of always being the one who has to do the work on myself, I feel like a total failure I have been through so much in 57yrs I am in the narp gold program healing slowly it’s painful releasing my trauma but I am willing to do it. I do not know if my daughter will follow me or if it’s too late for us. ❤️

    2. I hope you have gotten yourself and son away from this man. If not, your relationship with your little boy will suffer. You need to go to a family probate court and ask them to interview your son. They will ask him questions about his feelings when with his father, with you, in general. Take notes yourself about what your son tells you, what your ex has told you. They are aware of narcissistic parents and can help you change the visitation. My ex would have loved the coparenting set up, as he would enjoy the control, the ability to put me down constantly and malign me to the kids. Instead, I moved too far (60 miles) for him to justify visiting his kids and the courts ruled that he only have limited access. My two older daughters still feel the effects of his abuse, but my son who was only 8 at the time, benefited by having him out of his life. Good luck!!

  2. Wow!, this is a brilliant video. I really received the message ie “Children learn by an empowered Mother that has integrity, love and fortitude to live her life in the best vision and the best version of her most authentic divine, inventive/creative soul path, to create a space of love, or of freedom or a spectacular creative inventive in-devour that inspires, or nurtures her family or the people of the world.” Not a mother that lectures about right or wrong, or blames or condemns. Always empower your children to know there worth, always validate there emotions and aspirations. My mother was the narc my dad is very passive and shutdown. I would love to see a video about Narcissistic Mothers and what happens to there children.

    Good Job Mel! You are a perfect example of a empowered spiritual female warrior. Empowering people world wide with your shining rainbow of inspirational talks and workshops. You need to do a TED talk on youtube! I know you can do it, you already have a fan base to cheer you on, so why not? Go for it! 🙂


  3. I hope to see a future episode where the roles are reversed, (father and children are the survivors). I have had to learn to try and perform the part of mother to two daughters as well as maintaining the father figure. This has made me really appreciate the mothers place in a home, that I had somewhat taken for granted until now.

    1. Hi Melanie,

      Today I had a argument with my narcisstic father. I opened up to him about some childhood traumas because of how he treated me and he told me to open up, as soon as I did he felt attacked and said he can’t remember doing it and also that he dosent want to hear what I have to say anymore. I feel guilty right now because I shouted at him because of the sheer frustration of no getting a chance to say my piece. I feel sorry for him because he didn’t have a good childhood himself however I always end up angry and guilty because of things I say or do in response to him not acknowledging what he has done wrong. This led me to have relationships with women who act exactly like him, they lie, they cheat and they blame me. I know this happend because I wasn’t in line with my true self which stopped me from leaving them even when they did bad things. Only when they decided to discard me was that i had to accept them leaving. I’m currently doing NARP however for some reasons the hardest part for me is letting go of a narcissist I dated 2 years ago. I did love her and she made me feel utterly guilty because she suffered depression and anxiety which she would use as an excuse for all the bad stuff she did. I’m just tired of narcissists and fear them coming back or me not finding a normal girl ever. Although I am only 23 years old, I feel as though this has taken a huge toll on me

  4. Thank you, this affirms some things I’ve been doing. I wondered if it was the right thing to just go on about my business, affirming my children and not expecting anything of their father. It feels right, but this affirms it for me.

  5. Several years ago, I began the NARP program. It was the launching point for my healing and empowerment. If you have been abused by a Narc or are a child of one and are ready to start the process of healing – do it! You may feel overwhelmed, but you will succeed. <3

  6. wow! mind blown!! the most spot on explanation of daughters of narc fathers I’ve ever heard! even from yourself! so clearly said! thank you! very freeing and helpful to hear and understand!! Much appreciated!

    1. I’m a single mother of two children we live in a home with my father and bother and my brother his wife and three children. anything my kids and I do seems not good enough. I am constantly put down in front of kids and talked about to my daughter when im not around which later on shows our relationship is becoming distant. im not allowed to go out with anyone or free time with out being accused and talked about negativity to kids and others in home. I am threatened when I try and get my kids and I out of here. fear is put in kids thinking I will never make it without being here.
      what do I do??
      I have left my dad many times before but always end up back in his grip…

  7. Mel, you always make me cry!! 😉 I can’t thank you enough for this video. Truly. You are the very first person who has actually been able to accurately put into words and acknowledge with deep compassion the pain of what a little girl experiences as a result of her NPD father. Just so dead-on! I was unexpectedly deeply triggered by the first half of this video – The emotional floodgates burst open and I started sobbing and my whole body lit up with pain. I had to pause the episode and re-watch several times. So much unresolved trauma rushed to the surface of my being as you spoke about things that I thought were healed, but clearly haven’t been yet. And I want to thank you, because it was important for me to feel these things so that I could know what needed to be taken back and targeted in the modules.

    As a child all the way up until my mid-30’s, I would constantly vacillate between feeling like a shell of a person to feeling so overloaded with pain (either extreme depression or rage) that I couldn’t bear to be around people because I felt like they could literally see it seeping out of my pores and would destroy me even more. And because I was vibrating in this energy, life continued to delivered the match of this: I was annihilated by others constantly. Being an only child and having a BPD mother unconsciously steeped in her own victimhood only compounded the profound loneliness, alienation and feelings of total worthlessness that I felt. Little me was quite literally in a war zone without a single ally in sight. It was beyond excruciating.

    But I don’t want to stay in that old story. Instead I want to redirect the focus to the silver lining…Almost 16 months into my NARP healing journey, the most beautiful spiritual realization I have had is this: Having an NPD father (same for my BPD mother) was an evolutionary GIFT that I would not trade for anything. I know my soul agreed to be born into all of this so that I could be presented with the choice of whether or not I was willing to use it all as a platform from which break free; not just in the emotional sense, but in the spiritual sense. During my healings, I often hear my ancestors tell me that they are so joyous and proud as I am the first in line to willingly break the DNA chains of abuse and disconnectedness from self. So now, even during those times when I feel terrible and in pain, I remind myself that I am one of so many trailblazers in this NARP community who has sparked the beginning of a healing revolution for generations to come. And we don’t get to just up-level little false beliefs here and there. We literally get to rewrite our entire identities and futures and existence here on Earth from scratch if we want to. And honestly, how exciting is that?! Healing is not always easy and god knows I have a ways to go still before I can honestly say that I’ve released all of the pain from my NPD father…But my goodness “it’s so worth doing the work” as you say!

    Thank you for this amazing episode Mel!!! So much love to you!!! And thank you Tiggy, my little rock star, for your brief yet adorable appearance!
    xOxO, Laura K.

    1. I couldn’t have said it better Laura. You put in words what is in my heart. You are a soul sister. And I just had this crazy mantra repeating in my head as I watched and listened to you Melanie – I Love You, I Love You, I Love You . . . you tell my story and validate my experience like no other. It is a profound relief and great joy to have found your work and to have read Laura’s comments which all resonate for my own life and spiritual journey. Bravo and keep up the amazing work.

      I am a NAAP member but have procrastinated about getting going with it. As great as it promises to be it’s really hard to leave my comfort zone, to prioritise my healing, to show up for myself.

      Love and light

      1. Hi Gizella,

        you are a Dear Soul Sister yourself.

        Eventauly we all self-partner go inwards and do the inner work. That is so where it is at!

        What else is there to do? The truth is when we have had enough we realise that the comfort zones aren’t that comfortable – because the cycles are going to continue pushing us inwards to evolve ourselves.

        You’ve got this!

        Mel xo

    2. Hi Laura,

      awww sweet lady, it is so beautiful that we get to resonate so deeply together personally and as an incredible Community 🙂

      That is so lovely that much has arisen, for you, that can now be cleared forever – releasing you to the next amazing version of yourself.

      I adore that you have taken the gift and reached the awareness of the absolute truth about what that soul choice was about and the spectacularness it would produce – for yourself, and the collective.

      It is utterly exciting!

      So much love to you from myself and Tiggy.

      Mel xo

  8. Thank you for this video, I appreciate all the info on sons with narc fathers that I can get. I had to brace myself, it is scary to think my son could turn into a narc (My greatest fear was this). I have read and heard from you the importance of boundaries. My career as a behavior therapist and working w/children for 20 years has strengthened me in this category I think. He is an only child, so I need to work harder to be mindful of boundaries ( Cannot get everything you want. We are a team & take turns choosing things …food, Movies. Follow through & consequences Etc etc). I also explain to my son (6 yrs old) ( when he asks ..I don’t bring it up unless) that his father lies and is sometimes mean because he caught that from someone else. I say, it is not ok he hurts you, it is never ok. And that it is his fault and has nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong. We talk about how long it takes for his heart to feel crooked (Phrase from a movie). (Ie. One day not crooked, a week very crooked.). We discuss how to throw away the fear, sadness, and anger so out hearts can be full again & feel love. Before bed or any other time ..We take deep breaths & also blow the bad feeling smoke out the window …And I fill him with the white happy light of love and good memories ;). He loves it, & one time I just did the blow out w/ deep breaths, & he said what about the love light.
    My son has a big heart and tends to say what people want to hear. However he is being groomed as the golden child, so I’m not sure. I feel he will have the tendency to be more co-dependent than narc like so I am working hard on empowering him from within. From small things like picking out his own gifts for people, to role playing assertive communication and teaching him a good balance of exchange in social interaction ( not to chase or withdrawal) I highlight his ability to self reflect and his intuition on others (although it is starting to feel like gossip so I will need to tweak these convos a bit) He uses humor to deal & he loves to laugh…(good thing I’m funny)
    Speaking of …A milestone I realized since Narp is I am funnier with Ayden and we laugh more. How great is that.

    Although I teach when I can, I truly believe the success is in the behind the scenes work for who I am and how I am. ( Hardwiring) So I work mostly on myself, and make sure I’m in a good place. The rest really does fall into place. I can feel very quickly now and stop before explaining or asking too much of my son.

    I also recently won a big court battle w/a ton of things against me..not true of course but hard to prove) and the narcs Father Time decreased. I will continue to heal myself as well as try the healing by proxy for my son. I agree and lead by daily example in my own life.

    Question- Any other info or books you can recommend on empowering children/sons? (To counteract the co-dependent tendencies).

    Thank you so much!!!!!! 💕💕

    1. Hi Debbie,

      you are so welcome.

      There was so much joy in reading your post and I love that you shared all of this – because I believe it will be an inspiration to so many others co-parenting.

      You are doing such a beautiful job with your son, I loved so much of what you are doing and adored how you are helping him to let go and replace the trauma already – so powerful and such a life tool that we weren’t commonly taught.

      How fabulous you are working with NARP and also that you won that court battle. You truly will find an incredible shift with your son when doing healing by proxy with him with NARP.

      Debbie, I actually don’t have any reference material to point you to – all of the things I “learnt” on this topic emereged from within as a result of the NARP work.

      However, I am sure that someone here may recommend wonderful material – and that it does exist. Or maybe research and follow your heart?

      Mel xo

  9. Thank you Melanie,

    Yet another wake up call did this video clearly state to me because I had this play out in my childhood. I happened to be the spiritually sensitive child and yes I was the scapegoat and now I understand it is crystal clear and I can see what needs to heal. I have had attachment issues and could never really work out why I was doing this and it has all to do with disconnection, separation and abandonment wounds. Even though my father was not a narcissist he had violence in his upbringing and that was his way of disciplining his daughters so we got beaten a lot as young children and my mother was the enabler and after his death turned narcissistic and along with all female members of my family and again I was the scapegoat who got abused in many ways. I can see what trauma does so clearly and how people came become mentally ill and stay in survival mode and then can act out but more importantly I know why I have attracted what I have into my life and why I have attached to unhealthy destructive abusive people and why I have not been able to hold it safe with healthy people whom I have had to reject because of my fears and wounds.

    What an eye opener! I thank you again.


  10. I totally came from this background. This Narp program has totally helped and changed my life and changed me from the inside out. I thank God for Mel and bringing me this particular healing through Narp.PLEASE
    JUST DO NARP, NOTHING ELSE TO DO…….the support on the forum is exceptional.

  11. I think you have made a great summary of your work here, Mel, which I see as part of and contributing to the positive shift our world is going through. Thanks for what you do! I would say, we are learning to become empowered, self aware people firstly and then sexual beings.

  12. The father I had growing up is a N. And despite that everyone mistook me for a boy I still fit almost perfectly in how you described the female upbringing, it feels so affirming to me.

    Thank you for a great episode, and I have to say I love your dress !

    Lots of love, Olivia

  13. Dear melanie thanks once again for such a beautiful video. I m really indebted to u because narp has really helped me heal and evolve. I can see the broader picture of life, quantum physics and evolution. I have a narcissist father and a narcissist wife. I have done a lot of work on myself. I m a work in progress . Every day i do moduling and meditation for two hrs.
    Here the role reversed. My wife is narcisssist and she is having the daughter. I meet my daughter once a month. She feels very great in alienating me frim my daughter. I would be really grateful if you can make video in which case child is not living with you. What can be done to help my daughter. Please make a video for parents whose child are not with them and make it quantum. I live your quantum ideas.
    Thanks and regards

      1. Thanks a lot Melanie :). You are awesome and you are the one who has helped me in becoming a thriver. I am really proud of you. You have saved my life and given me a new life. Thanks!

  14. oh, this was perfect today. I am in court for mediation for my divorce from a narc in 2 weeks, seeking mega bugs in back support, and I just found out my narc brother, the golden child, has persuaded my elderly narc father,to create a new will, leaving him the lion’s share of a large inheritance. Everything is coming to a head, i feel the release and liberation from them. I have done so much deep work to come a place of letting go of that which hurts me. It hurts to engage with any of these people. While there is a sizeable amount of money I thought would be mine, in letting go, my focus and energy is being channelled in to building my own life. I still may see a small remnant, but the illusion of NEEDING it to survive, has been greatly transformed. There is still emotional work to do and grief to process, but the light is shining on me, and I have hope again, and trust in myself, that I can rise out of the muck, and find my own way. This is hard fought, and deeply painful work, to claim my independence at 53 years old. I owe it to myself, and my 2 grown daughters that are watching. So I thank you and this community, for all the support and love we share, that helps manifest new beginnings and empowered lives, for me, for you,for us all.

    1. Hi Rose,

      I am so pleased this was timely.

      I love that you are letting go of the trauma … And how perfect that you are determined to be a source to yourself even though what you thought was yours is gone. (In essence that is the entire N-abuse healing experience – becoming our own Source to recover).

      This is Quantum Evolution right there!

      This is a brilliant post and I want to yell out “hear hear” for other mothers to be inspired by you.

      Bless you Rose 🙂

      Mel xo

      1. lol…i just saw I said mega bugs, instead of mega bucks…but i guess both are true! hahaha Thanks for your wonderful response.

  15. Dear Melanie,

    Thank you so much from very deep in my heart, for taking your precious time to create this so wise and accurate Thriver Episode.
    I am so grateful for all your work, it has been a life saving for me. I started NARP four months ago, and releasing so much pain during this time and reconnecting with my true self and Source, my life has changing so much (and continue doing so) for the much better. I can´t recommend more your QFH program, it really works. It´s not easy to get through the pain especially in the beginning because it´s quite a lot, but it is such Blessing and liberation to release it!!!

    I am the spiritual child daughter and scapegoat (thanks for the terms) within a family with a narcissistic father and co-dependent mother (who also became quite narcissistic too because unfortunately she didn´t know how to empower herself and make it better). I felt your video describes precisely my main struggle in life, just owning my birth right to be who I am, and feel loved (first by myself 🙂 just for who I am, unconditionally. Through the co-dependent programming I ended up with narcissistic partners too, and the relationship with the last one (with whom I am still), brought me to such an excruciating pain that I thought that a life like that wouldn´t be worthy to live. I prayed and prayed to the universe for help, to the flowers and trees, the stars, the Earth and the sea. And then I miraculously found your program, and everything started to change since the Webinar I attended. Now after working four months with the NARP program I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and much more than that. And I am actually excited for my new life :)!!! Although I still live with the N partner, thanks to the program I could start progressively to lay boundaries, emotionally detach, and taking one step at a time to be ready to leave him, which will happen in about one month from now. I´ve noticed that while have been healing my wounds related to the Narc partner, at the same time or complementary I also have been healing the wounds from the N father and family wounds through NARP.

    I was so moved listening to this Episode that in the beginning I almost couldn´t breath and had to remind myself to do it! Because you were describing so well my own life and struggles. Thank you! I had to listen to it with my rainbow obsidian ball in one hand and raw rose quartz in the other hand, to help me to release pain and remember that I am Love and I am Loved.

    Just one question my dearest Melanie: Is there any module in NARP (or your other programs SEC o FOW) that you would especially recommend to healing the wounds from a narcissistic father?

    Much Gratitude, Love and Blessings to You and the Thriver Community !!!


  16. Hi Mel,
    I don’t normally write on the blog but I felt very compelled to do so today. I was listening to this just before I doing my NARP module today (Friday is “my” day for self-partnering). You describe myself and my brothers exactly (with a few variations) and always “hit the nail on the head” in your information sessions. I appreciate how simple yet informative they are and as always they come at exactly the right time for me.

    In the past I would be triggered and fall into victim mode – today your session still triggered me but from a place of detachment and a knowing there is more healing to do using NARP and Family of Origin modules. Your work resonates so much for me and I feel blessed to have found NARP and be on this journey. I have healed so much and feel very grateful for life now which I didn’t in the past. Thank you so much for your on-going support and commitment. Love your work Mel!

    Much love

    1. Hi Annie,

      I am so pleased you did say “hi” today!

      Love that you are on NARP and this journey Annie and reaping the rewards 🙂

      Please know how welcome you are and much love and many blessings to you.

      Mel xo

  17. My daughter has been a narc since bireth. She did so many weird crazy things before age five and then started destructive behaviors i.e. trying to get rid of her brother so she would be the only child i.e. non competition for my attention.

    I admit I spanked her hard on the bottom at age six (she had called 911 repeatedly and one time told them the high school was on fire and started going into people’s homes when they weren’t home and then made up crazy stories about why she was there) and pinned her down on the bed and gave her a what for and said hateful things i.e. Satan must be in you, etcetera.

    I know all that was wrong and so I took her to a psychiatrist. His diagnosis back in 1985: Extreme manipulative behavior which she might outgrow, otherwise potential to have criminal behavior. All was true and became true. She is tall, beautiful and very charming. No matter what she does, she is always able to charm and lie her way out of it.

    I am not a narc myself, however my daughter has destroyed any relationship with my grandchildren by reacting violently every time my husband and I call her out for lying, stealing and other irresponsible behaviors and she accuses me of making my grandchildren hate us.

  18. Hi Mel,

    You always seem to amaze me, just when I think I watched the best episode ever, you always produce another fantastic breakthrough. This episode resonates with me deeply. This is exactly what I am experiencing now. I know that I gave my power away to the N, and now I am realizing that I also gave my power away to my children. I don’t have much contact with them and when there is contact they seem to take my power away because this is unconscious learned behavior. As I am taking my power back, setting boundaries I am sure they may think that I don’t love them, but deep down inside I believe they know that not to be true. They are probably too sure of that. I left an abusive relationship and I want nothing more than to break this pattern for myself and my children and future generations. I have to be consistent and eventually they will get the message. Relationships give us the best opportunities to learn and grow. I am a NARP member and I feel really good about where I am at with the N, the children are reflecting back to me their behaviors just so I get this all out of my system once and for all. I made a promise to myself that I will never go through this again.

    I am extremely grateful for you and your work. You have changed my life and even though I don’t have an authentic relationship with my children at this moment, I have never felt better about myself.

    Much love to you and Zac.

    1. Hi Amy,

      thank you for your kind words. I love that you have taken on how to deal with your children in the most conscious and evolutionary way.

      You are doing such an amazing job, Amy, I am so proud of you, us and this Community.

      So much love back to you from Zac and myself.

      Mel xo

  19. Hi Melanie, My biological father who was born in 1934 in Portlaoise, in County Laoise near Dublin – the capital city of Ireland in Southern Ireland – the Republic of Ireland had a really very hard, difficult and tough childhood and upbringing. He was raised by his uncle and he lived with his uncle and his uncle’s children – sons – my father’s cousins. His uncle put him through the most horrific abuse and trauma. I believe my father’s uncle – (my great uncle?)? was a Psychopath – not a Sociopath or a Narcissist or any other Antisocial Personality Disordered individual – but, a real, true pure Psychopath. He made many attempts to physically injure or even kill and murder my father. I think my father told me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I don’t think my father dreamed or imagined any of this up, I don’t think my father was a pathological liar or that he pathologically lied or that he told pathological lies or that he sugar-coated or exaggerated anything. My father grew up to be a wild, feral, fierce, strict, abrupt Narcissist irishman with the fiery fighting irish blood running through his veins. I was born in 1984 in Winchester, Hampshire – (Hants) here in Southern U.K – England, Great Britain, United Kingdom. I was raised, grew up in, lived and still live in Southern U.K . My father didn’t turn into an Empath/Lightworker instead, he turned into a Narcissist. He Narcissistically abused my biological mother and my older biological sister. Both my biological mother and my biological sister are cerebral covert Narcissists. My mother was born in 1951 in Winchester, Hampshire, Southern U.K and was raised, grew up in and lived in Southern U.K and my sister was born in 1981 in Winchester, Hampshire, Southern U.K and was raised, grew up in and lived in Southern U.K . My father died of Pancreatic Cancer in 2008 – he was elderly and had very many years of being severely disabled, lots and lots of health problems and illnesses, including Type 2 tablet controlled Diabetes on tablets possibly including Narcissistic Personality Disorder, etc…, . I was my father’s Golden Child but he still Narcissistically abused me at times. My sister Narcissistically abused me since I was a baby all because she wanted a baby brother not a baby sister – I was her baby sister – not her baby brother and she also Narcissistically abused me because she thought that I was our father’s favourite child/daughter and she would moan, groan, whinge and whine and complain to our dad saying that he would let me have what I wanted, let me get/have my own way, let me get away with things, with everything and that he was giving me special treatment and that I was his favourite child/daughter – my sister was pathologically extremely jealous and pathologically extremely envious and pathologically extremely resentful and had pathological extreme hatred to the way our father treated me – treated me differently to the way he treated her, that I was his favourite child/daughter Golden Child and that I am a female not a male, that I am a girl/woman not a boy/man, that I am her younger sister not her younger brother. My sister started puberty really early, she noticed and was sexually attracted to the opposite sex from a early age, she had her first boyfriend when she was I think 10 years of age or under 10 years old – she is straight/heterosexual. I have always been, I am now and I will always be straight/heterosexual. I started puberty late at around 13 years old and older than 13 years of age, I noticed and I was sexually attracted to the opposite sex from 13 years old and older than 13 years of age. I married my husband when I was 21 years old on 30th June 2006, we have been married for 11 years this year in 2017. We have tried to have babies/children in the normal way but it never happened, I have never ever been or got pregnant ever. My sister has children – I have nieces and a nephew but my sister got engaged once but she and her fiance broke their engagement off, my sister has never ever got married and she’s not married. After our father died the whole family broke up, my sister lives in Dublin in Ireland but I don’t know if she’s dead or alive, my mother lives probably hundreds of miles away from me probably somewhere here in the U.K or in Wales or in Scotland or probably lives in Dublin near my sister who lives in Dublin or my mother lives somewhere else in Ireland, I also don’t know if my mum is dead or alive. I also think that my textbook malignant cerebral covert Narcissist older stepdaughter, her textbook malignant cerebral covert biological mother and my older stepdaughter’s oldest and female textbook malignant somatic covert Narcissist female best friend who are into witchcraft, blackmagic, Hoodoo, Voodoo, curses, hexes, etc…, death spells, family relationships break up spells, satanism and devil – worship had insidiously infiltrated my family of origin and had got them to ostracize me out of my family of origin by my own family of origin, to cut all ties of direct contact with me, to go no contact with me – that’s what my evil Narcissist in-laws got my family of origin to do to me. Plus, I think my evil Narcissist in-laws had cast a Pancreatic Cancer death spell on my father and had also cast a Pancreatic Cancer death spell on one of my dad’s three sisters – on my aunt – my aunt died of Pancreatic Cancer in 2009. I also think that my evil Narcissist in-laws had cast family relationships break – up spells all between me and each and every single individual one of my family member of my family of origin. I also think that history is repeating itself because when my dad was elderly and severely disabled and retired my mother was unemployed and a housewife, looking after and taking care of my dad and doing all of the housework, shopping, paying bills and looking after and taking care of me and my sister. Plus, I remember my mum saying many years ago that even before her and dad getting married to each other – my mum’s in-laws – my father’s side of the family – my fathers sisters, etc…, particularly one of my father’s sisters – my aunt and her husband – my uncle who I am related to through his marriage to my aunt – my aunt who is one of my dad’s three sisters – my aunt and my uncle would ask my father in a negatively critical, cold, criticizing way “why do you want to get married to her – (my mother) for?” “she’s so stupid, thick and dumb” – (my aunt and my uncle talking about my mother to my father before my mum and my dad got married). My mum and my dad got married – married each other on 23rd May 1980. After my dad died I phoned my aunt in front of my mum and I put the phone on loudspeaker so that my mum could hear what my aunt was saying to me. My aunt was being nasty and horrible about my mum to me saying “why did your mother leave the room where your father was in, left him all alone on his own all by himself to die of Pancreatic Cancer in that ward in that hospital cancer hospice and why didn’t she look after or take care of your dad especially when he was old, elderly and severely disabled when he was alive?”. My mother rushed over to me, physically snatched my mobile phone out of my hand and my mum was angry, emotionally hurt, upset and defensive. My mother’s reaction surprised me because my mum is usually, normally, characteristically very, very quiet, timid, reserved, shy. During my mother’s pregnancy with my older sister, dad would be physically violent and aggressive, doing domestic violence and domestic abuse on my mum. After my sister was born, someone held my sister in their arms when my sister was a baby and they accidentally dropped my sister when my sister was a baby and they dropped my sister on her head, my sister’s head made contact with the hard floor flooring first. As far as I know, dad was never ever physically violent or aggressive towards mum and he never ever did domestic violence or domestic abuse with my mum during her pregnancy with me. After I was born, not one person, nobody, no-one dropped me or even accidentally dropped me when they held me in their arms when I was a baby. Absolutely everyone held me in their arms when I was a baby. During both mine and my sister’s childhoods our father was very strict, abrupt, wild, feral, fierce and Narcissistic towards both me and my sister and to mine and my sister’s mother. He would be physically violent and aggressive towards me, my sister and our mother and he would do domestic violence and domestic abuse on me, my sister and our mother. My sister grew up to be a Narcissist but, she loves to play the Empath/Lightworker. She is sanctimonious, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, she is a hypocrite. She shifted the blame on me falsely accusing me of “me being a bad and evil person, the black sheep of the family, that I get worse and worse as each day goes by, that I’m like a rabid dog, a dog with rabies, that if it wasn’t for my type 1 insulin – dependant Diabetes on insulin injections for then me and my behaviour would be alot worse, she told my husband many years before he married me that I cannot make a relationship or a marriage and that I cannot hold a relationship or a marriage down”. These are all false accusations and pathological lies and deceit that are, that have been told by my sister about me to me, to my husband, to our mother and to the rest of our blood-related family members of our family of origin and to the marriage-related family members who are married to our blood-related family members of our family of origin and to everyone else. My evil, Narcissist whole family including my evil Narcissist in-laws are all doing slander, defamation of character, libel, etc…, about me to the whole universe, about me to absolutely everyone in the whole universe. After dad died, I saw the Narcissistic side of to my mother which I thought never ever existed and my older sister became my mother’s favourite child/daughter Golden Child, mum gave my sister special treatment and she let my sister have her own way. Mum made my sister her top No.1 priority first before me on my mum’s top priority, priorities list, but my mum didn’t put me anywhere, she put me nowhere on her priority, priorities list. The next years after my dad’s death, I asked my mum to spend and celebrate Mothers Day with me here in Southern U.K but, she didn’t, she either chose to and/or my sister was manipulating our mother to spend and celebrate Mothers Day with her – my sister in Dublin, Ireland – the next few years after my dad’s death. My sister and my mother walked out of my life and went No Contact with me in I think in the year 2010 or 2011. My dad died in the year 2008, so 2009, 2010 and I think 2011? my mum spent and celebrated all those Mothers Days with my sister in Dublin, Ireland and my mum never ever spent or celebrated Mothers Day with me after my dad died. Someone did tell me that my sister is a negative influence to me in my life. My sister is highly manipulative, an evil and bad influence on our mother, both my sister and my mother are Narcissists, both my sister and my mother Narcissistically abused me. I think they were both planning to go No Contact with me after dad’s death very many years before his death probably possibly likely since from the 1990’s and/or the 2000’s. I’m so pleased and happy that they had gone No Contact, walked out of my life for good and will never ever do Hoovering Techniques on me. I don’t want them in my life. My sister used to tease me, mock, ridicule, etc…, me jeer, etc…, at me and Narcissistically abuse me and bully me. My sister viewed me as competition and she was in competition with me, she forced me to be her rival, she forced me into having and being sibling rivalry and sibling rivals which was and is something that I never ever wanted or want to be or to be in. My dad’s will had £100,000 and I think that my sister herself and our mum herself wanted to spend and celebrate Mothers Day without me to spite me, out of spite to me, to do those spiteful and malicious things to me and to spend/celebrate Mothers Day together and to spend/celebrate special occasions and holidays together where my sister wanted my mother to give her and to manipulate my mother into to give her and probably my mother herself wanted to give her – my sister probably very many thousands of pounds, probably most of or all of dad’s £100,000 in his will without ever telling me and without ever letting me know anything about it and they both cutting me out of dad’s £100,000 will. All that I got out of dad’s will was £1,900 and that wasn’t from my dad, that wasn’t my dad’s instructions, that was my sister’s and my mother’s instruction/decision that my sister and my mother made together after my dad’s death. Both my sister and my mother knew all about my evil Narcissist in-laws and they Narcissistically abusing me and my evil Narcissist in-laws – my older stepdaughter, her biological mother and my older stepdaughter’s oldest and female best friend all ostracizing me out of all of their families – they successfully managed to stop and prevent me from me and the rest of their families from even ever even meeting each other, I never ever got to meet my stepdaughter’s stepsister and her children – my stepdaughter’s step nieces and I never ever got to meet anyone else of their families – my sister and my mother knew all about this, so when my mother gave my husband a card and in it she had written “my son in-law I welcome you as a new member and a new addition to our family, we, I accept you” or words to that effect and my husband and I both saw, looked at and read the card and read what my mother had written in it I felt so insulted because it felt like my own in-laws had stuck 2 fingers up at me and had told me to f*** off, I was and I felt very, very insulted and very, very offended by my mother’s card to my husband and by the way my own in-laws had treated me, my mother accepted my husband whereas my in-laws rejected me. That is extremely insulting and extremely offensive to me. Both my family of origin and my in-laws had done this to me to isolate me, to spite me, to do this out of spite and malice to me, to do this spiteful and malicious thing to me, to emotionally hurt and wound me, to give me emotional wounds. To give me a fear of rejection and of being ostracized and of forcing No Contact with me and of walking out of my life for good, of abandonment, of neglect, etc…, and to force me to have isolation, rejection, abandonment, neglect, etc…, issues which I always have and I always do rejected/reject. I do view this as history repeating itself because my mother was unemployed, a housewife, doing all the housework, doing all of the shopping, paying all the bills and looking after and taking care of herself, of our elderly, severely disabled and retired father, of me and my sister and of her being rejected, Narcissistically abused by her in-laws – my father’s side of the family before when they were in a relationship with each other before they married each other and during my mother’s and my father’s relationship and marriage and after my dad died when my mother became my father’s – (her husband’s) widow because I’m young, unemployed and a housewife myself doing all the housework, doing all of the shopping, paying all the bills, looking after and taking care of myself, my elderly, severely disabled and retired husband and our 2 black neutered over 7 years male tomcats and my husband being a vulnerable Narcissist himself and both my family of origin and my in-laws including my husband all Narcissistically abusing me and flying into Narcissistic Rages at me, becoming physically violent and aggressive towards me, doing domestic violence and domestic abuse towards me, to me, on me, teasing, mocking, ridiculing me, jeering, etc…, at me, bullying me, rejecting me, isolating me, abandoning me, neglecting me, ostracizing me, walking out of my life for good, implementing No Contact on me, to me, never ever doing the Hoovering Techniques on me, to me by my family of origin and by my in-laws. This is history repeating itself. I view my husband as a househusband – house – husband. I encourage him to do the housework and I encourage him to be and to keep physically active and physically mobile, his physical mobility and I encourage him to keep and to improve his independence, I encourage him to look after and take care of himself, of me and of our 2 cats. I encourage him/motivate him to cook food himself for himself and for me, for him himself to get drinks for both himself and for me and for him himself to feed our cats and to give our cats drinks of water/pussycat milk from pussycat milk containers that you buy at a supermarket or at a pet shop/pet store. I encourage/motivate him to come out shopping with me in a taxi there and back in a supermarket where he can ride around in the supermarket’s shopping mobility scooter (carts?)? with me physically beside me and in front of me and behind me as I push a large and very deep supermarket shopping trolley around up and down all the aisles in the supermarket with me. I have inherited all the s**t in all my relationships and in my marriage which my mother had in all her relationships and in her marriage. I have inherited her unemployed, housewife life and lifestyle and quality of life – but I don’t want to end up being like my mum, I don’t want to be an unemployed housewife who does absolutely everything, who ends up being married to an elderly, severely disabled and retired man, I don’t want any of the s**t from my relationships with my family of origin or from my in-laws or from my relationship or marriage with/to my husband, I don’t want my mother’s life, lifestyle, quality of life, I don’t want the same life, lifestyle, quality of life as my mother had/has. I want to greatly improve mine and my husband’s lives, lifestyles and qualities of our lives because we both most definitely deserve a much better, more fun, more happy, more joyful, more peaceful, etc…, lives, lifestyles and qualities of our lives because our lives, lifestyles and the qualities of our lives are boring, dull, etc…, and we both most definitely do not deserve these lives, lifestyles and qualities of our lives. I don’t want to end up like my mum. My sister who was Narcissistically abused by dad grew up to be a Narcissist who plays the Empath/Lightworker, my mum is a Narcissist, my dad who was Narcissistically abused by his Psychopath uncle grew up to be a Narcissist and me being Narcissistically abused by my dad, sister, mum, etc…, my husband, my in-laws – my husband’s side of the family, I grew up to be a victim, survivor, Empath, Lightworker, born-again Christian, conspiracy theorist and as an unemployed housewife. Me and my husband view our 2 black neutered male tomcats as substitutes for babies/children, we view them as our animal children, animal sons, animal boys, animal toms and we view ourselves as their humans, human parents and both me and my husband view me as our cats human mother/human mummy/human mum and both me and my husband view him – (my husband) as our cats human father/human daddy/human dad.

  20. “It’s not safe to be female” This struck such a deep and strong chord in me, one that has recently been rising to my awareness with regard to the limiting beliefs and adapted behaviours I’ve taken on in response to my relationship with my father. Though it resonates 110%, I still can’t quite grasp where it comes from or how it manifests. I recently observed that I’ve tended to dress conservatively (I even wore baggy clothes to cover up my physique), suppress my femininity (especially around my father)- even judging it as a weakness, toughened up, etc throughout most of my life as if following some unspoken ‘known’ that it was the right/safer thing to do, especially if I wanted to be accepted and not belittled by my father. At the same time, he expresses many misogynistic views, and expects women to look beautiful (for him) or else they are ‘letting themselves go’. On one level, I thought my behaviour was one of a rebellious response to this, or self-protective after seeing how much he put my mother down. Oh, the inner distorted messages are many and muddled- how eye-opening it is to start noticing them and seeing how much they’ve held me back in life.

    I worked through NARP last year after yet another devastating narcissistic abusive relationship. It was the first time I felt I was actually getting to the root of my life-long issues. As such, it peeled the layers back to identify the profound wounds within from having a narcissistic/borderline mother. I thought that was ‘it’, but the wounds from having a narcissistic father are starting to reveal themselves now. I’m starting to see how much in denial I’ve been (distorting truth to make it seem ok/survive). I’ve learned to dance carefully around my father, so as not to upset him or provoke his anger and criticisms, I’ve believed I am a problem and have very low self-esteem because of it, and I cling to whatever fragments are there since he is the only one left in my life/family that I have some semblance of a relationship with. I’ve adapted myself so much to make it work that I don’t even notice when I’m doing it anymore. I do know that having an opinion that doesn’t match his own risks losing him/having him cut off a conversation and not talk for a while. I also know that care-taking him was the only way to gain his acceptance (listening to him, agreeing with him, supporting him). I do that less these days, hence the relative distance between us.

    Thank you for helping me to see the truth with this video Melanie. I’m not sure where to begin with healing these next layers… would you recommend targeting one thing in particular?

    Thank you for everything, from the bottom of my heart.
    xo Trina

    1. Hi Trina,

      That does resonate so powerfully with so many women! Great that you are aware of it and can heal it now.

      okay re the resonation of that belief – please remember with NARP … don’t try to work it out in your head – ie “where it comes from.”

      All you have to do is go to that resonation – that dense painful energy in your body “It’s not safe to be female” and start loading it up with Module work and start releasing it. It really is that literal.

      That is great that you are now getting to the father wounds to heal those too. It’s so important that work.

      Trina with healing the layers just go to what comes up – one at a time. The belief you named is a perfect start. Then go into “what hurts” regarding your father and start loading up and releasing those traumas too.

      Your body knows “what’s next” Trina – truly.

      Also, are you in the NARP Forum – because that will be invaluable coaching/support for you while you work through this next stage.

      You are very welcome Dear Lady and so much love and blessings to you.

      Mel xo

      1. Thank you so much for your reply and guidance Melanie- it helps a lot! Sometimes it feels like there are so many things ‘up’ at the same time that I don’t know where to start. It’s been a while since I’ve visited the forum- I am grateful to be reminded of the invaluable support there as well. See you and other Thrivers there soon!

        So much love,
        Trina xo

        1. Hi Trina,

          it’s my pleasure.

          It certainly can feel like we have a heap of stuff – but as we unpack – one at a time, it all gets lighter and lighter.

          Look forward to seeing you in the Forum soon lovely lady!

          Mel xo

  21. Hi Mel

    This description of a daughter of a narcissistic father sums me up very well…I do experience this not only as impacting all my relationships, and choices of partners thus far but also my work and professional life. I have chronically under earned all my life, not valuing myself or standing up for my value – giving my time and services often away for free or next to nothing. Also choosing or attracting unstable work situations. This is something I am trying to address now having broken free of recent Narc relationship. To rebuild my life in a new more valued way.

    My brother was the golden child to my mum – my Dad was his stepfather and they had distant sort of lighthearted relationship more like equals yet now my Mum is in late stages of alzheimers my brother is once again the golden child to my Dad.
    I am still the one who sucks it all up sometimes calmly – sometimes in fury. I am the scapegoat as the troubled one with broken relationships to abusive men, a single parent, recurring health issues and often financially poor or struggling. Yet also the only one who gave up alcohol in my family (my bother is an alcoholic yet an over achiever and high earner), the healer of the family, the only one to do get to Masters degree level, the only one to travel alone for extended period, etc etc.
    So my strength is there – I am a survivor yet still invisible and undervalued. My brother is a damaged Narc – I realised this in the past and my recent ex was a very similar character to him – a bit of a golden boy in the family – but drinker and getting away with behviours through charm and superficial caring, and grand acts of generosity. I had an identical first love also in my teenage years. My brother is married to the kind of women you describe.

    I find when around my father and my son together (he is only father figure my son has) I often lose my cool and find myself scapegoating my son or even when in a freshly triggered state from my father, or a man or anyone I tend to scapegoat or dump on my son uncontrollably like I become my mother or something! My Dad swings from being over permissive and adoring to hyper critical like he was with me – when we don’t live up to his wounded high standards. This is something I am SO trying to shake in myself – let my child and myself to make mistakes without coming down too hard on us.

    But I am very concerned as my son has been the centre of my world for 8 years and I have devoted myself to him – he is displaying narc traits towards me and others – mostly me. Often aggressive or rude too. Although I have not always been the best model in my relationships or used to get snappy when overwhelmed.
    I am trying to set more boundaries and I have to temper this before he gets older. His absent father is a narc. I am working to to be the healthiest parent I can be now – and to not let him get away with entitled behavior. I am struggling with the boundaries and consistent all the time alone, with no one else to lean on. I am realising lately, not for the first time in my life – that I have no one I can trust, who is really there for me.
    I find there is so much work to do all the time, so much to process that it is hard to take on a job working with other peoples needs and issues on top of healing myself and my family. I must find a way to earn that allows me to do the ‘work’ through my earning a living. Somehow!

    All best
    Sophie xx

    1. Hi Sophie,

      thank you for your very candid and humble share.

      I hear you and I know it feels big and convoluted. You have fantastic awareness and now truly it is about releasing the trauma within you that has created all of these ‘ways to survive’ and then you will reset back to well-being (which is our natural state without the trauma).

      We don’t need to learn how to battle our way out of it – truly – we just need to release it and heal.

      Have you thought about NARP Sophie ? That is how we Thrivers healed the “unhealable”. And the results for our child energetically from our shifts, are nothing short of a miracle when we work on ourselves at this deep cellular level.

      I truly know of no simpler and more direct way to heal for real than NARPing.

      I hope this helps.

      Sending healing and blessings to you.

      Mel xo

  22. Hi Melanie, I have been trying to work on myself since leaving my narcissist 9 months ago. I feel like everytime I start to make progress to heal, he does something new to knock me back a few steps. We have 3 children together and unfortunately that means i have to have contact with him, which I keep as little as possible and only about the kids even though he keeps trying to insult, blame, threaten, or try to charm and ask about being a family again. I have made it clear that i will never be with him again but of course he thinks in his head he can have anything he wants. All while he has done the most awful things to punish me and left my life in pieces. My question is how am i supposed to heal when i have to be linked to him for life by our 3 kids? He uses them as tools and does things to hurt them to hurt me. When i talk to people about my situation they tell me to just not worry about what hes doing and go on with my life, but to me that would mean stop worrying about my kids when i know they are not safe and hes exposing them to terrible things that could cause them to be damaged for life or even physically hurt or worse. I cant just ignore the fact that my kids are in danger. I have addressed what i could to the judge and she doesn’t even give the time or care to hear me out. She still gives him partial custody and lets him bash me while projecting his behavior onto me and then never gives me the opportunity to tell my side. I just want to move forward so badly but dont know how with him using my kids and constant vindictive acts to make my life hell. He also has a period of 4 days every other week with my kids that are only 7,5&3 and he will not let me speak to them for even a minute during that time which kills me and the kids. Plus i know they are not safe so its very scary for me. I have a pfa against him and am waiting a trial in 2 month’s for custody but with the judge i am stuck with, who has a terrible reputation for doing the opposite of whats right, i feel hopeless and unable to move on with my life.

    1. Hi Megan,

      my heart goes out to you – it certainly does step up the level of difficulty when co-parenting – but please know there is a way.

      If you google my name + co-parenting + children you will find many resources I have created that are in-depth regarding this issue.

      I hope this helps.

      Mel xo

  23. This hits home for me. i am the Father on the opposite end of this. I married the ultimate Narc who was raised by her Supreme Narc Dad. I was blown away by her, enamored by her every word, then I saw signs of her true self. A Narc in sheeps clothing. She is so much of a Narc that she creates a false persona around her where she has manufactured a belief that I am the Narc and not her. It is like a Narc mirror. Someone is so narc thag they refuse to admit they are the true Narc. Please guide me, this is difficult.
    The questions I have for you are, how do you work with a Mom who refuses to accept that tbey are the Narc? The no contact approach is not viable for me since we have small children together. And by not speaking to the other parent isn’t that violating one of your guidelines? Ignoring the feelings of others, in this case the children. That cannot be a recipe for successful co-parenting and a positive path for children in general. You seem to have mastered the art of dealing with a Narc but I am afraid this potion can be detrimental to my children and me in long run.
    Thank you for capturing your life experience and conveying what worked for you. I am just so afraid to take a blanket aporoach with your message. I am torn because I feel like this is the easy way out. Don’t I owe it to my children to work on resolving conflict rather than ignoring life. I feel lke I am the selfish one. I know that the choices I make now are imocting to my children forever. I am glad that you are where you are in your life. You are blessed.

  24. Hí Melanie,

    First of all thank your for everything!

    I have a question. Is it possible that my father or mother was narcissist, if they never criticized me, they never hurt me directly, just they were emotionally unavailable (when I asked my father to go to holiday, he got very angry: “I cannot do that! I have a lot of job!!!”. My mother also never hurt me or criticized, but She had not really empathy when I was sick or had some emotional or phisical pain. Sometimes She did silent treatment for 2-3 day if I did something wrong. But they always suported me phisicall (tools and money or anything) but sometimes they said: “you cannot do it” or “it would be too dangerous for you” – for example sports. So they saved me bad ways, they separated me from things and outside world.

    So what do you think, were they narcissist or not? I cannot decide, cos they have feelings, sometimes empathy, they are good people, not as my sneeky and tricky ex-narc. They sometimes seems co-dependent.

    Thank you for your answer in advance

    1. Hi Zsuzsa,

      it is my pleasure.

      Please know 100% I don’t believe it is ever necessary to categorise people in our life as narcissists or not. What is important is to heal our internal traumas no matter what they are or who put them there. It could be very likely that your parents were not narcissists, they weren’t malicious – they were just unconscious because of their own survival necessities and their own internal programming they got for their parents.

      But at the end of the day, none of that is important – because what is important is you turning inwards to heal. That’s where the liberation is – it is never in working out what other people were or weren’t.

      I hope this makes sense.

      Mel xo

  25. My children’s father is less obvious in his preferences. When he left our home (a couple years ago now), he moved in with his new family. My daughter was very hurt that he just left while she was at school one day with no discussion beforehand. His response was “But I saw you the next day.” It’s like he’s in a fantasy world with his new wife and family and our kids have a role to play but they aren’t given much attention. He has the children every other weekend and a few weeks for holidays and over summer break. He doesn’t spend one-on-one time with our son and only occasionally with our daughter, like taking her with him on errands. He has 2 step kids and insists they call them their brothers and that they are just a “pack.” My daughter is the pleasing child. My son has some learning differences and just goes into his own world from what I can tell when they talk to me about it. They are afraid of his temper and don’t feel safe speaking up or asking for things. I’m hoping this will change as they get older but seeing as he seems to be getting more hostile not less I doubt it will ever be safe there.

  26. I had absolutely no idea what a Narcissistic personality was until eight years ago when I found out that my husband was having an affair with a woman whom I thought was a good friend to me. We went into counseling and it took the counselor about three months to recognize his behavior as narcissistic. She had recognized mine as co-dependent right away. I look back and realized how really good he was at deceiving the counselor as well as how much I believed in him. When the counselor gave him his diagnosis he was adamant that she was wrong, whereas, she got a male counselor to review the files and he stated the same diagnosis. Each day as we left the counseling sessions, he would tell me that they were all wrong and they just needed to come up with something so they could bill us. He still has never admitted that their diagnosis is correct. I have had to do a lot of self-reflection in my healing process. One is that I realize that my father had all of the characteristics of a narcissist. I have a lot of scars because of the things that he said to me and how he treated me and my mother. I’ve had to recognize each one and forgive each one. I look back and realize that he was raised by a man and woman just like him and my mother. The pattern just goes on and on. The only way that we can break the cycle is through education and awareness. Hopefully there will be enough media flooding facebook, internet, etc. that people can begin to recognize narcissistic behaviors and not get involved. But like I said, they’re really good actors and they know the right things to say at all of the right times. In my case, we were the perfect couple in public but in private things were completely the opposite. Same with my father and mother. My final remark is that I believe that the Church needs to begin recognizing narcissistic behaviors and counsel people who are dealing with it. Instead, I think the Church encourages the behavior because of the male dominant role. I know that God doesn’t want abuse of any kind. It’s the translation that is wrong. I’ve been a believer my entire life and I endured years of this abuse because of church people telling me it’s my role to be sub and lower on the ranking scale because of my gender.

    1. Wow elaine i feel like im living ur life!. How did you handle the church part of it? Im lost and dont know what to do now that i have a 4 month old son with my ex narcissistic and he lives 3 houses down from me

  27. I’m a male, but getting teary eyed just thinking about the devastation that my entire f*cking family did to me from the tender age of five all the way till now. Father, mother, brother, cousins, aunts, uncles, their friends, my ex friends, all my partners and colleagues. Wow, I don’t think I have ever met a normal, kind, selfless human being in my life before, but I had to be a normal, kind, selfless human being to everybody else (including strangers). If my own flesh and blood could wreck such havoc on me with no feelings of remorse or guilt, who else on earth can I f*cking trust?

  28. Hi Mel,
    I was married to a Narc for 11 years, 10 of which we were together. We have been apart almost 5 years now. We have two daughters 18 months apart. They are now 9 and 10. I feel lucky to have gotten out of that relationship while the girls were still young. I feel that I have done a good job over the last years to move forward and be an example to the my girls…although the road has been long and windy with setbacks.

    I really enjoyed the video and so much of it just made sense. Although we don’t have a son, I can see the girls father making one the scapegoat and the other the golden child in his own way. My eldest daughter is the true soft heart, she is a compassionate, sweet and thoughtful child. She is also his least favorite. My younger daughter is an overachiever, competitive and more outgoing. Both girls are extremely bright and do well in school, but they are opposites of each other. I see him constantly favoring my younger daughter. He gives her extravagant birthday parties whole doing nothing for my older daughter when it is her birthday, when the girls get report cards he points out the younger daughter got higher grades even though both girls made straight A’s for the year. The list goes on and on as I’m sure you can imagine…

    I do appreciate your insight, because even though in my subconscious I knew this was going on my rational mind couldn’t accept that he would do that. Watching the video made it so real. Also proud, because as a mother I have been doing a lot of the things you recommend but I know I can be better…It is so reassuring that my instincts are correct to move forward and give my girls the most love and positivity that I can possibly give. I knew in my heart that was right but my damaged mind questions all my actions because I still hear his voice in my head that I’m not good enough, that I am a bad mother etc…

    So thank you for saying it out loud. I feel more confident to keep moving forward and being strong for my girls so they can live strong, healthy lives full of love.

  29. Wonderful video! My concern, growing up with a narcissistic mother, and then marrying, having two daughters, and divorcing a narcissistic man, is that I am working on establishing and maintaining firm boundaries with my daughters. However, it is sometimes hard for me to recognize when I need to step in, when their treatment or each other, or others, needs to be stopped. How can I learn this for myself?

    I’m also not clear which of my daughters is a scapegoat or golden child. There are two older half-siblings that played those roles for a long time. Any help of that would be appreciated!
    Thank you!

  30. Why is it never advisable to keep your children from the N co-parent? How does it make sense to force our children to be with someone who we know is dangerous to them? I’d like to tell my child the truth about their N patent, and help them make the choice to never see them again. Why continue the abuse?

  31. Hi Mel,

    I co-parent with my daughter’s NARC father. He is manipulative, controlling, emotionally absent and vengeful … the stereotypical covert narcissist.
    My daughter is 12, bright, beautiful, loving, sensitive and we are very close. She is aware that the way her father treats her is not right and that the problem lies with himself, not with her. But she is getting physically sick from the anxiety of spending time with him. She never shows her emotions around him, she hides her body, she has even talked about suicide because she “would rather be dead than scared all the time” :(((( Family mediation and lawyers have been unable to help because he is a master at perverting the legal system.

    I commend you for your wonderful videos about healing the damage that narcs do to their children, but is there any way to stop the damage before it happens!? I cannot bare the thought of my child having to go through years of this emotional abuse. She looks at me with pleading eyes before each visit with him and it breaks my heart into a million pieces.

    Daisy from South Africa

    1. Hi Daisy,

      Sweetheart I so understand your concern.

      Truly the most powerful thing you can ever do for your daughter is heal your inner subconscious programs, including the ones that are in dread about what she is going through.

      NARP is the most powerful tool I know of for parents to navigate and heal and be empowered within parallel parenting.

      Also with the NARP Members Forum are incredible Thrivers and members who can guide you specifically with this.

      There is no greater time than as a parent to learn this VITAL Quantum Truth – we have no power to change, fix or control anyone else other than ourselves.

      When we do that we create revolutionary healing and empowerment for our children.

      This is both yours and her journey Daisy and the most loving thing you can do for yourself and her is accept it with both hands.

      I hope this helps and so much love to both of you.

      Mel 🙏💕❤️

  32. Hi Melanie,
    This definitely hits home. I am 20 and have recently identified my father as an altruistic narcissist. I have gone No Contact for about a month and am focusing on my healing and have felt a lot better. My brother, however, is the golden child and still has a close relationship with my dad. Part of me finds it a little hard to trust my brother because of his relationship with my dad. I’ve also wanted to warn him, but feel like that’s not my place. It’s been a struggle to have a relationship with him (my brother), because of the resentment I have towards him and feeling like “he chose dad over me”. How can I rebuild a relationship with my brother, while remaining No Contact and not wanting anything to do with my narcissistic father?

    1. Oh so happy for you that you are attempting to heal at such a young age, rather than staying stuck in victimhood.

      Just get NARP young lady and watch all those traumas drop off and your inner wisdom and light SHINE

  33. I think my father fits the description of a malignant narcissist, very controlling and violent. I used to blame everything on him; It took me many many years to figure out that my mom fits the criteria of a covert religious narcissist It takes a lot of time to heal and it starts with self awareness. what do you have about both parents being narcissist?

  34. I have been going through the most horrific custody battle for the past year. I realized the man I was about to marry was a malignant sociopathic narcissist during …my maternity leave. My brand new little baby and I had to flee this man (or should I say man-child) when I discovered the overabundance of heinous lies, deceit, and manipulation. I had never come across anything like it. Also quite disturbing, he has majority custody of his son from another relationship. Painting and projecting the mother of his son as the “pscyhopath.” This woman literally gave in to this man because he is a monster and she was so worn down from his games and psychological abuse. Now his attention is turned to me. He is allowing her more time with her son as a way to keep her from talking to me. I will not back down. He will no longer control me. I have been rotting away waiting for justice with the court system. I feel so helpless in trying to make the court realize the horror of who this man AND his family are. They are a wild pack of narcissistic sociopaths all out for blood or my soul on a silver platter if they could get it. I have spent countless nights awake and worrying about my daughter’s future with such a psychologically unstable paternal family. It haunts me everyday that I didn’t see this man for who he was. It’s the most unsettling feeling to be trapped in an area with no support because this man plotted and planned to trap me. He was feeding off my energy, my success, and credibility. It is like a bad dream I can’t wake up from. How do you recover from this? Or do you just evolve to the ever constant harassment? How do you protect your daughter from her own father? The bar is so low the court will ultimately grant him some access to her.

  35. Hello this is my first time in this community.i am new and need help getting out of my relationship.thank you for this son is six and the golden there anything i can do for him besides heal myself to help him ? Is there a narp for 6 year olds? Some kind of coaching for kids to help them with feelings and self worth?i would love to do this for him besides me helping him through.i feel he is already changing and want to stop this now.

    1. Hi Carrie,

      I’m so pleased that you found your way to this wonderful community. You are in the right place!

      Carrie, the healing of your son will come through the healing of yourself, 100% that is how it works.

      You will see how powerful and vital is, by doing your work with NARP , and then absolutely there is the guidance through the NARP Members Forum regarding the most powerful path to help your son heal as well.

      I cannot stress enough to parents that it is us that leads the way and then our children follow. It is the most powerful way … there literally is no other way.

      I hope this explains, and I promise you will see how effective this is what you start working with NARP

      Much love to you

      Mel 🙏💕💚

  36. Hello, do you have the transcript for this video (Narcissistic fathers – healing yourself and protecting your children) available? I am needing to print it out to take some notes and work through some of these issues in shifts. I am a Narp member and have been for a couple years.

  37. Dear Melanie, I was raised from a codependent mother and n father. Everything you wrote about what this caused in me as the girl-child (once golden child, then discarded and the scapegoat) resonates with me. Thank you for this description. I was looking for something like this. It helps me to connect with my feelings to take to NARP modules.
    The video ‘how to heal the wounds from a n mother’ is referred to several times here. I would highly appreciate to find a video ‘how to heal the wounds from a n father’ – to use as getting into my feelings to take to NARP. I hardly can identify and pin-point my feelings because there are so many. Do you also have a video ‘to heal from the wounds from a n father’. Thank you very much in advance. Love, Julia

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