Most people know the expression ‘karma’ as meaning what goes around comes around.
In this community we often find the narcissist does not seem to get their karma for the terrible acts they do to people.
It really appears that they get to go through life like a wrecking ball, ripping people’s lives apart, draining their bank accounts, taking their hearts, Life Force and everything and anything dear to them – with no consequences.
And this may feel traumatizing simply because of the lack of justice that our world seems to be steeped in.
In today’s article I want to deeply explain Karmic Energetic Law to you, so that you do know there is a benevolent system of life that makes sense, that you can align with, and which will deliver you spiritual compensation beyond measure when you know how it works.
This knowledge will move you up and out of the hopelessness of believing that there is no justice for what you went through. Please read the article and share your thoughts and comments with me.
My Explanation Of Karma And Dharma
You may or may not be familiar with the words “karma” and “dharma” … or maybe you are with the word karma, and not so much dharma.
Many of us have different views on these words but let me give you mine from a Quantum perspective. I believe that karma can be good or bad, but let’s for the purpose of this article run with “bad” karma. To me this is the repercussion of a bad energy exchange – that which is perpetrated in darkness. Therefore, for every “evil” act there is a natural and equal repercussion.
(I’m going to explain this more later on in this article …)
To me dharma is the opposite – you may think of it as good karma, but even more than that it is the arising of one’s Light within, love and good wholesome energy, to spread into the world as mission and purpose, as a result of anchoring into, filling with and sharing this Light.
You may think of this as “good things happen to good people”.
Often the narcissist does not seem to get their karma for the terrible acts they do to people, and good loving people who suffered terribly at the hands of narcissists don’t seem to fulfill their dharma.
I know you have found this devastating, as I once did too. My heart goes out to you being traumatized by the lack of justice that our world seems to be steeped in – at both micro and macro levels.
Fortunately, and I am so proud and inspired to say, in our wonderful Thriver Community those who heal from the inside out with NARP, usually flip this script on its head. Often the narcissist does meet their maker, and the wonderful NARPers who do the inner work with Quanta Freedom Healing are often released to start generating their blessed dharma, and become more released, fulfilled, extended and authentic than they were even before the abuse happened to them.
I know you may feel a million miles away from this right now, and that’s so completely understandable after being hit by a narcissistic freight train.
Today I want to deeply explain Karmic Energetic Law to you, so that you do know there is a benevolent system of life that makes sense, that you can align with, and which will deliver you spiritual compensation beyond measure when you know how it works.
That is what today’s article is all about and I hope it can help you so much to move up and out of the hopelessness of believing that there is no justice for what you went through.
The Narcissist And How They Think About Karma
Narcissists don’t believe in bad karma, they truly believe they are somehow exempt. It’s pretty easy to understand why – they don’t believe in a Higher Power, because they believe that they are the Higher Power.
The inverted power of narcissism – them at the top of the power structure and everyone and else and God / Source / Creation at the bottom, means that they write their own rules. Their lack of conscience wiring unfortunately means that everyone and everything exists to serve their False Self – the ego. They don’t see others as flesh and blood autonomous human beings with Souls and feelings. People are mere tools to violate or exploit for the narcissist’s own purposes.
The narcissist knows other people may not approve of this – hence why they need to cloak their behaviour in charm, manipulation and lies. But please know they truly don’t believe there is anything wrong with the way they conduct themselves. There is zero comprehension of them “doing wrong”. Hence why a genuine apology from a narcissist is near impossible to obtain – or if granted is only to shut you up or hoover and hook you back in again.
It really does appear that the narcissist gets to go through life like a wrecking ball, ripping people’s lives apart, draining their bank accounts, taking their hearts, Life Force and everything and anything dear to them – with no consequences.
Is this true?
It’s partly true.
Yes, a narcissist for some time can sail off into the sunset with the house, the kids, and their new partner, and may buy themselves a sports car and go on an overseas holiday, just to really rub your face in it.
Meanwhile you are sitting in your tiny flat, broke, shattered and barely able to get out from under the bedsheets, let alone hold down a job.
The narcissist often will rinse and repeat. The next relationship doesn’t last either, and the narcissist moves on with the ease of a consummate actor exiting one stage play and entering another … leaving yet another victim emptied out in his or her wake.
To add insult to injury, the narcissist may also play the victim to all and sundry. If you left, their ego suffers a terrible narcissistic injury of “abandonment” and even though they got all the goodies through their narcissistic significance and entitlement, you are still (according to them) to blame for everything.
If a narcissist does have a life-long suffering partner, they still suffer the selfish shenanigans of control, manipulation, emotional invalidation, and mental destruction.
If there is a benevolent God, why don’t these people get their comeuppance? How can they do such terrible things and always get away with it?
We see this happen, everywhere we look (if we have the eyes to see), within many power structures – including the largest imaginable. Heinous acts being committed that have nothing to do with The Light, Source or Humanity – rather an inversion that is not accountable, seemingly untouchable, and corrupt and evil – continually benefitting and feeding off the traumatization of many.
Taking the Narcissist’s Karma For Them
Beautiful people have been taken in by narcissists and abused by them. You, as this community are my tribe, and you are the most incredible, inspiring, Soulful, precious human beings I’ve ever met. These are the people I want to share my life journey with and do.
But … and it’s a big but … let me be clear, the people still stuck in their victimization thrashing around in the pain and blaming the narcissist aren’t inspiring or nice to be with.
I was once one of these people too, deeply entrenched in my victimhood of “what happened to me” rather than “what part of myself can I fully look at and heal, to get out of this pain and make sure this will never be my reality again”. In this toxic energy of trauma, I was incredibly hard to distinguish as different from a narcissist, because I was so toxically poisoned.
I lost virtually every person in my life. In fact, originally, many people believed he was the good person, and I was the abuser because I came off as being so disturbed and disturbing whilst he was acting completely cool and together.
I’m sharing all of this with you for a very good reason. When a narcissist abuses you, you take on inside of you the dark energy of their acts. Because you are a person of Light (a piece of Source in a human flesh suit) you have been impacted badly by energy that is Not Who You Are. You now have an inner identity filled with trauma, and this messes with you badly.
The narcissist on the other hand is a False Self, a Being who has turned away from Source / God / Creation and thrives (literally) from dark energy. Hurting people and receiving the attention of someone’s hurt is as energizing and life-enhancing to a narcissist as blood is to a vampire.
Keep thinking “inversion” … because that is what narcissists are. They are anti-life. Peace, love, joy, beauty, innocence, truth, unity, oneness … all of it terrifies the narcissist, because it exposes the real power of Life Force that they can never access and have. It shows them how horribly defective and non-existent they really are.
Okay back to karma – the narcissist is loving hurting you and you being hurt and does not feel bad internally. Rather he or she feels vindicated – that YOU are the crazy and bad one who deserves to be punished for what you did.
YOU are the one who feels shocked internally, not the narcissist who has grabbed all of your energy and stuff and restarted their life as if you didn’t exist.
Quantum Law works like this, so within, so without. Meaning your inner traumatized beliefs, emotions and obsessive thought loops of victimization, betrayal, adultery, criminal negligence, and the abhorrent acts done to you, is the emotional (energy – in – motion) frequencies that you are vibrating at.
Whether or not you believe that this is fair, the following that I am about to explain to you is just this … the Quantum Law of so within, so without.
This brings to you powerfully more outer events that match inner painful and fearful frequencies. This is why you can’t get your life going. Things are breaking down all around you. Appliances break down, you have a car accident. Your bank account is hacked.
Although this is the time when you “need” support the most, it doesn’t come. People turn against you and accuse you of terrible things. They believe the narcissist’s smear campaigns. The kids turn their back on you. Your lawyer turns out to be narcissistic, the judge rules in the narcissist’s favour and you can’t imagine life getting any worse.
You may put your hands up to God and scream, “I’m a good person, why have you abandoned me?”
All of this happening is not Life / God / Source “hating you”, rather this is Life / God / Source saying “I love you so much, incredible Creator that you are, as a fractal part of me, whatever you are choosing to BE (feel) I will grant you more of that.”
Here is the rub … we have been taught that our “thinking” and “doing” is what dictates our life, but that is NOT true. It is WHO we are BEING that is unfolding our life from our inner universe out into our outer universe, powerfully.
Narcissists at some level play this system of Quantum Law perfectly – they spread their dark anti-life energy out into the world, infecting others with trauma, who by internalizing this trauma have the “bad energy” embedded in their Inner Being. These people are now steeped in “bad karma” living out more of this trauma.
By this happening the narcissist gets to keep “kicking the can” of their karma down the road. Avoiding the repercussions energetically (for a time) as a result.
Does this help explain why bad things happen to good people?
But don’t despair there is more to this story, and it does have a happy ending.
Activating Your Dharma And The Narcissist’s Subsequent Karma
I hope that you can ‘inner-stand’ now WHY the same terrible things have kept happening again and again to you.
You may stamp your feet, be incensed about this, or accept the truth, take your power back and turn it all around.
I promise you with all of my heart, that when I finally embraced taking radical personal responsibility to heal, “if the trauma is in my body, only I can go in to it and love and heal myself back to wholeness” I was able to get free from the wheel of terribly bad karma and start moving into the Grace of aligning with the Truth of Life / Source / Creation.
Grace cancels out Bad Karma.
What does this REALLY mean?
It means that when you turn inwards with the love and devotion of a parent wanting to free a child from their pain and fears, for YOURSELF, then with Quantum tools (NARP facilitates this) you will free yourself of the internal trauma of abusers from your Life and fill the space inside where the trauma was with the Light of Source.
This is a spiritual, energetic process. It’s not a logic-based one. You are in a spiritual psychic war with narcissists. On this planet logic does not work against dark forces.
I’m going to put your biggest mission in Life in simple terms for you – it is to free yourself of the darkness of fear and pain within, and fill up with the Light of Source – which JUST IS truth, wellbeing, oneness, courage, love, sovereignty, inspiration, joy and expansion.
Then you break free from karma … organically and naturally because you changed Who You Are BEING.
Now let’s look at what happens to the narcissist.
The Narcissist’s Inevitable Karma
Narcissists are trying to beat Universal Law by inverting the laws. They try to control, manipulate, take, and steal to get what they want in order to feel fulfilled.
However, there is only ONE True Source – Source / God / Creation which connects everything and everyone, and when aligned with authentically as the True Soul Authority it nourishes and flourishes you beyond measure simply because you exist.
Narcissists deny this authority and will not humbly accept a Higher Power into their Life. As their own self-appointed Higher Power (which is the egoic structure of the False Self, the narcissist’s one true Master) they now have no option other than to seek False Sources for their inner “wholeness”. This means “stuff”. Money, prestige, new houses and cars, attractive enviable partners, sex, alcohol, drugs, porn, notoriety, the most likes and comments on their selfies on Facebook – the list goes on and on.
Everything they do is to feed the ego – to get narcissistic supply – which is like a Black Hole in space gobbling up other celestial bodies continuously, yet never being able to shine its own Light.
This is the narcissist’s terrible karma – never durably feeling whole, fulfilled, peaceful or filled with Love, no matter what they do. Plus, there is the horrible gnawing ever-pressing urgency of having to get “more” to try to have enough narcissistic supply to offset the feeling of falling into and being gobbled up by their own internal black hole of despair, self-hatred and defectiveness.
Here is how narcissists end up in life … old and alone. They lose the energy and the charm to mine narcissistic supply. The older they get the more they must do what they have been frantically avoiding doing their entire life, face their inner demons, and the nastier and more dysfunctional they become. People pull away, and the narcissist will lie on their death bed with nothing “real” to reflect on as a life well lived.
Did they contribute? Did they love genuinely? Did they make a difference by benefiting other’s people lives? Were they loved, respected, and admired by others?
No.
Rather, they endlessly chased energy and exploitation of others to get their own salvation which never came.
Now back to us …
In Conclusion
With all of my heart I want you to understand that your evolution is also the liberation of our entire planet. YOU are here, and in this Community, because at a Soul level you chose to be a Light Worker.
Many of you know this already, many more of you are awakening to this truth every day.
As you move up and out of your trauma and fill with Light, you are changed for the better. You are stronger, more loving, and compassionate. You have graduated past the ways you used to hand your power away with fear and pain to False Sources.
You have come home to trusting your inner guidance. You ask questions now. You demand transparency and proof, rather than blindly believing those whose agenda involves deceiving you. You know how to stand in authenticity. You are no longer derailed by other people’s manipulations and threats.
You are FREE to be yourself.
You have become a pillar of love, power, and truth as examples to your children, peers, and communities, and you shine a Light that is eternal and infinite and helps Light Up all of humanity.
As you do this the darkness is exposed. It can be seen. It no longer can operate in the shadows and hook people through their unhealed shadows.
This is all of our REAL job to do.
This is the living of your True Dharma.
I hope this spoke to your Soul today. I hope you now know you can be liberated from bad karma and claim your True Self and Life.
Please let me know your thoughts on this topic!
Just Lovely! You always inspire hope, generosity, and calm. May the Good Lord bless you and hold you dearly in his tender hands.
Thank you Mountain Girl,
so pleased you enjoyed reading this!
Thank you for your sweet blessings!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
The narc told me about ‘ source ‘ and ‘ just being ‘ as he was leaving me when I was grieving the death of family members and friends. Surely his new supply was told I was the narc and he needed to find his true inner light(is it possible for such a dark soul? What kind of person would purposely dispose of another at such a time, take up with a well groomed supply to take an overseas trip posted regularly on Facebook?) Thank God for the dharma (he a spiritual narc who tried to tell me what it was😌) Your blazing sword of truth will truly set you free.
“Here is how narcissists end up in life … old and alone. They lose the energy and the charm to mine narcissistic supply. The older they get the more they must do what they have been frantically avoiding doing their entire life, face their inner demons”. Thank you Melanie! The narcissist’s uncle who he so admires us just that—old and alone, still desperate for narcissistic supply from women. Pathetic really.
Hi Rich,
there is so much real-life evidence of what you have described with your Uncle.
It is very sad.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you for explaining this. I became so depressed after seeing my ex thrive, feeling like I was getting my nose rubbed in the mud while I suffered. I am doing the work to heal, thanks to you, and now am focusing on my wholeness and my life.
In gratitude.
I love that you are breaking free into Thriving Laurie!
Many continued blessings to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Powerful and insightful post, Mel, as you carefully direct us down the path to true healing. Your essay illuminates why it’s so critical to abandon the “victim” mode and shift into a place of vulnerability, transparency and self-love for our own well-being and for the peace of our planet. Thank you for distilling this with such detail and clarity. 🙏💕🔆
I SO love that you deeply get this OC Vegan Lady!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you!
Dear Melanie!
As I read through this absolutely amazing article for some reason or another it brought back some memories of another time. I won’t say much about that except that it was a period of time in my life when everything and anything the Buddha had to say or anyone that I could listen to who I trusted and belived in that
had some connection to the incredible studies of Eastern philosophy and religion I would follow…. it was a fascinating and amazing time! We talked about karma! We talked about dharma!
I spent a long period of time at the University studying and taking courses in what was called Indian studies! The professor had lived in India the majority of his life and came to America to teach us about the ways of the Buddha and the Sufi and the fakir. We were like sponges taking all of this in! It was so intriguing and offered another direction, different, from the Occidental and contemporary spiritual new age things being tossed around. I had the fortune or maybe misfortune of meeting some of the more famous ones at that time and it’s interesting after meeting them I ended up not being impressed and eventually disappointed…. I heard a lot of words and a lot of philosophical explanations but none of it touched my heart….
Why I’m saying all of this, Melanie, is that none of that prepared me for what was looming in my future. That being marrying the person who ended up being a god awful narcissist. All the mantras, all the meditation, all the spiritual practices did not prepare me for any of that or this.
When I first discovered your teachings a few years ago something told me, intuitively, this would help and it, my intuition was right. I have not changed my opinion since then and to this day I am so grateful. 😔
What I’m trying to get at is simply this! This is the most easy to understand explanation of karma and dharma that I have ever found. How you explained this and how it works is absolutely remarkable….I say this because I have listened to dozens and dozens of people, some of them so-called spiritual leaders, some of them gurus etc. etc., and, often, ending up more confused and frustrated….
you really did an incredible job making this subject so palatable and understandable…. I was not even slightly confused after reading through this whole article and that for me is big time because I get confused easy! (The accursed PTSD!) I can’t think of anything else to say except thank you so much, Melanie! It is such a blessed relief to have been able to have this from you today. I am so thankful! Much love to you and much gratitude to you! ❤️🦋❤️
PS! I think I’m really going to like Instagram with you and the others! I’m just kind of getting it figured out and it seems great so far! 🙌😔🦋❤️🦋
Hi Peter,
Yes Melanie has the experience of having come back to Life after Narc abuse. She relied on a Higher Source for her return wholeness and therefore her explanations come directly from Source Understanding.
Sometimes, religions are just logical paradigms of truth that we give mental consent to, but not actually imbibe. Narc abuse forces us to reach out with more than our logic, it is our very Soul – a place beyond the heart- that is infused with the Spirit of Truth.
And this infusion usually comes through the Quantum field through another person with such connection to Source that they can ‘touch’ us with Truth. This Truth is not just factual information, it is a Spiritual Reality. Bypassing human mind, IT does the healing of REVEALING our own light within and we become ONE with Source.
The wholeness is such that we actually thank God and the Narc for having brought us to the end of ourselves because the fullness that follows a Truth Healing is like being ushered into a Higher Dimension of Life – which keeps getting better!! We literally thrive and soar. So it is finally clear that the Narc happened FOR us and we were never abandoned by God.
Melanie is wonderful at explaining this process and guiding people who are hurting to a place of receptivity to the Light that is Truth.
Thank you so much Iris!
Having spent some time and a lot of energy seeking “truth“ and being disillusioned, of course, by what was being told to me or in some instances taught to me I find your comment to be amazingly comforting! you have a way of making things clear and giving it, at the same time, the emotional “oomph” that some of us need to “feel”….I so appreciate your appraisal and comments! Thank you so much!
This is so inspiring. I have appreciated your honesty and guidance over many years of navigating my way out of a 40 year marriage with a very narcissistic man. For some reason this episode, to me, speaks clearly of where I am now vs where I was five years ago! Survived and learning the joy of thriving! Heartfelt thanks!
How do u get out when u are all alone? No family or friends to count on, no where to go, no one to take care of u but u, no money, no one but the evil man who u are trying to get away from😞so u stay and hope and pray that things get better but u know that’s just a wishful thought. 41 years of walking on eggshells and I still feel I need him and love hate him, what’s wrong with me? 😢
Lisa, I am so there with you – except the last part. Got out 2 years ago but he bought the property adjoining mine so when I left he began an escalation of stalking, intimidation, threats, you name it. Been committed to my healing ever since, but the proximity keeps the PTSD alarm bells ever going off. Have somewhat accepted that psychologically and physically I might not be able to shift from my current ‘PTSD management’ zone, to a full healing one, but there is a deeper part of me that is making the small shifts and slowly reclaiming my spirit day by day. It doesnt always feel like it, and on the bad days his presence feels unbearable, but would choose this hell, over the hell of being with him any day of the week. It might take a while until I fully reclaim all of me, but the freedom is worth it.
Kate, I’m so with you. My ex-narc also bought adjacent property and I am familiar with all the sensations you mention. I thought I would suffocate alive until I found NARP. Thankfully, from the very first quantum healing I felt a sense of relief. Sometimes relief is short-lived and the narc looms larger than life, and then the suffocation returns. I have learned that I need to keep going through the healing process if I want to find complete freedom. Thanks to Melanie’s posts and videos, I know this is possible. May you find your own freedom too.
Jane, reading your post I resonate and have empathy with you, as I am also navigating my way out of a 40-year marriage for the same reason as you. ‘Navigate’ through the most difficult terrain that I could not have dreamed would happen to me. I started the journey 10 years ago, and it’s not over yet. Melanie was one of the first online gems that gave me insight, knowledge and hope. If I could have survived the shrewd tactics up to now, I can survive anything. Cheers to Surviving and Thriving with Joy! With gratitude and thanks to Melanie too.
I understand this completely! I was speaking of this to my friend today and synchronicities this article showed up right after! I know what narcissistic souls are, they are archons, fallen angels who work for satan. Three supposed kundalini awakened teachers who claimed to be my Twinflame, one of which trained many celebrities and some were the matrix actors did all of what was mentioned in this article! Thank you for sharing your soul wisdom and to have done the healing work so others may find peace within their lives beyond the abuse.
It’s so weird that you used the term “Matrix actors”. This term is the best way I can explain some of the events I’ve encountered at the hands of those fallen angels. It’s almost as if energetically combined with my beliefs of the trauma were able to invent situations that further harmed me physically and psychologically as well.
I was literally put in a situation that looked random but checked off all the boxes of a person going through narcissist abuse. Some of my findings where observational and some came from this persons mouth. Obviously I tried to help this person (most likely in an attempt to heal my own wounds) but here’s the “Matrix actor” part.
I didn’t seek out this person they sought me out. Called me out of nowhere and distracted and pulled me away from events that were involving me meeting and networking with other people (like some kind of fifth sense that knew what I was trying to do from a distance).
So being an empathic person I cut my conversations short and went to to help this person in need. Love bombing happened swiftly and I found myself interacting with this person a lot in a short amount of time. I truly felt like we were friends.
Then out of nowhere her bf calls me and claims she calls me and says we can’t hang out unless her bf can join us. Then I get very arrogant calls from the bf claiming I have to pay to hang out with her. I even comforted this guy in person about devaluing his own gf and told him I wouldn’t tolerate him calling her out of her name in front of me. She seemed very confused by the situation and kept whispering to him how she wanted to stay with him even though he sarcastically kept claiming she could just leave with me.
In my mind he was acting like the ultimate narcissist. Arrogant, controlling, cool, and calm. I even asked to have one last conversation with her to get some closure and make sure she was really ok with the situation. I felt that I had enough experience in the field to comfort any issues that a victim of narcassism would have difficulty with which is mostly emotional confusion and fear. But right when I was going to have this conversation another “matrix type” event took me away from this opportunity and after this I was not able to physically see her again.
When I stopped by I was told she didn’t want to talk to me again (classic narc excuse) and what made it so weird was how he acted like such a cool person that had nothing to do with her decision. Not once did he become angry about me showing up and even acted like he was my friend and had no clue why she was acting the way she was. Obviously this was very disturbing to me.
I tried all types of ways to contact her but every attempt failed. All my friends and family told me I was the one with the problems and nobody supported the evidence I presented to them. The real giveaway that something was wrong was at the time I had ordered her something online that she asked for which I’m sure the bf didn’t know about so logically if she was just jerking me around it would have been after she received the items not before because she had nothing to lose by given it a couple more days or even just telling me to drop it at her door would have made sense so I was convinced at this point the bf was emotionally abusing her either with threats of violence to her or most likely to himself because he appeared to be a kind type of person that would use self-harm behind closed doors to manipulate.
And without being able to get any closure in the matter sent me into a psychological downwards spiral. I couldn’t just forget about someone who was most likely scared, alone, isolated, and had no way or knowledge of how to escape the clutches of this sort of abuse and that’s if she even knew what she was involved in.
I knew police couldn’t help because she wouldn’t take the chance of dealing with the consequences because this type of abuse is hard to describe successfully.
This led me to a physical fight with the bf in which my shoulder was broke, the cops being called on me for harassment, and the final nail in the coffin a charge for assault in which I caught the bf outside and demanded he give me an opportunity to just speak to her and see her to make sure she was alive and well. Unfortunately he pleaded with me and agreed but went in the house and called the cops.
I could have left but I stayed and waited to be arrested and make my side of the story heard which at the time felt like the Godly thing to do. I could tell that the officers respected me for my decisions and were very professional about the whole ordeal but that didn’t change my situation. I eventually did a month in jail and pleaded out on one year of unsupervised probation which I’m currently still serving. My narcissistic wife used this to smear campaign me ignoring my position as trying to help and painted me as a cheater and child molester (even though the girl was of legal age and she knew it). Also, we were separated at the time during a episode of discard.
Throughout all this not once did the girl appear. If the whole ghosting thing was her idea by this time she would have called me of told me to, “stay the hell away”. All three times the police spoke with the involved parties and obviously the last incident was a police report. There was not one word from the police or on the report from the girl stating anything negative about me or any testimony that would imply she was in opposition to my efforts.
Common sense says that at some point police would have confronted me about my actions and would have stated something to the affect that this girl doesn’t want me trying to contact her. Oh and btw right before my criminal charges my narcissist wife even volunteered to go over to the house and spoke with the bf which agreed to me having a conversation at a scheduled time that never occurred which honestly sent me over the edge. My wife claims she didn’t help because of my concern in her words it was because I wouldn’t stop crying about it. In my opinion it was just two narcissists abusing two empaths.
I know you can’t help everybody but I felt this was my personal duty. I thought to myself what if this guy really harms her and I could have did something about it. What still bothers me a little is that I never got that closure and I walk around feeling the pain intimately that she must be going through. So I keep her in my heart in hopes that she will be freed from the darkness as I have.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I feel that by writing this it will energetically provide some kind of support for both of us.
I could not be any prouder of myself! I have been reading your work for years & following your advice.
My narcissist mom recently passed, old & alone. In 2010 I began limited contact with her. It was very empowering. In 2014 my Dad died. His last words were “I love you. I need you to take care of your mother”. Noooooo
But I did, until 2020. It was the best thing I could have done. I set boundaries, said no, walked away. I cooked, cleaned, made her laugh, made her face her demons, made her cry a lot. I took the crazy bitch camping in a little trailer I bought. I took her five times. I took care of myself.
It was sad & funny when she told me “you really are funny”, “I didn’t know you could sing”, “you are so smart”. My 52 years old self was hearing what my 14 year old self never heard. She told me thank you & I love you often these last few years. It didn’t mean much to me. I no longer needed her validation. I could no longer care for her and put her in nursing home. I no longer cared what she thought of me. Her nasty, mean voicemail messages afterwards confirmed going no contact was the only way I could survive. I am thriving! I moved into a beautiful apartment, got a new car, got a Husky for my Collie, got a great new job. My friends are my family.
I am grounded, confident, loving, moving forward with my great life. I thank you for that. Your emails kept me strong & got me through hell. I love you Melanie.
Mel,
I have to say this is one of the deepest and insightful topics I’ve read of yours. It’s accurate and can be only written by one who has experienced this phenomena. You clearly describe from being in the “darkness” to finding the inner light that will shine so brightly that we all have in us. When the seemingly impossible situation of being in a relationship with a narcissistic person through finding the guiding light and strength within us, the beacon of hope that you share is quite a monument to this ever growing community of thrivers. Thank you and bless you for all you do for everyone.
Beautiful article! So inspiring to help us go from victim to victor by taking our power back and establishing boundaries. Life sure is a learning experience. Thanks for all you do, Melanie!
Thanks Melanie!
I realized someone I care about is a narc a little over a year ago!
I’m 84 so learning this was tough! Since then I’ve learned even more.
Thanks for writing this article.
Please remember to take good care of yourself.
Once we realize “so within/so without” as well as our own responsibilities for going inside and clearing out that trauma, the freedom is amazing! I liken myself to Gulliver in Lilliputian; at first it was such a struggle to clear out trauma after trauma. It felt like a never ending onion with layer after layer. Now that I have done this for a while (with frequent breaks) I am noticing the ease of movement, the light encouraging me to continue to peel away those layers, to remove those bonds of trauma. While I never realized how many I had, I have learned to not sit with them and revisit them as I’m unpacking them. Just acknowledge it and clear it out!
Oh yes Lori!
100%!
Less thinking MORE shifting!
That is the complete and utterly successful way forward!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you, this makes a lot of sense. Simply knowing and trusting that I’m able to respond to my own emotional reactions “from the inside”, allow them to fade in a natural way, return to positive calmness and interact from there, is enough of a reward to make all the work worthwhile.
It sure is Grateful!
BLess!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Really beautifully written! I have done massive shadow work and I finally feel that I AM completely healed…although…if anything else bubbles up for release I welcome it!! I AM working on becoming a Spiritual teacher and I AM a strong energy worker/mover, clairvoyant, clairsentient Lightworker…studying for 30 years with many otherworldly experiences. No wonder the dark has been trying to take me down for so long. I finally dove into what I was dealing with which was narcissism for 46 years of my life and now I have made it all of the way through…and I thank you Melanie for your beautiful, loving and kind videos and articles that have assisted me in my healing. From the bottom, too, middle & all sides of my heart 💜
Blessed be 🙏🏼💎🙏🏼💎🙏🏼
Sonia Alexandria
Hi Sonia,
thank you for your lovely words!
Keep spreading your beautiful light and work!
Much Love to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
This sounds like hope.
How to do this?
And.
Difficult to trust again.
Vicious cycle of vulnerability due to body image which I think has made me tolerate too much…
Plus history of childhood trauma I think has blurred a healthy understanding of boundaries. If a parent was verbally and physically aggressive, a partner being dishonest or verbally harsh occasionally as much as it does hurt seems “tolerable”. My head does not think so, but somehow in a weird energetic way, this type of experience repeats!
I don’t think I would tolerate physical abuse, but mental and emotional are sinister and sneaky. Like a slow diffusing dye. And then one day you feel sad, scared and about ready to unravel and not sure how it all added up to that!!!
Hi Irene,
I’d love to show you “how to” deeply and powerfully.
Please come into my free webinar http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebianr which explains.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Thank you seems so insignificant for what you just gave me Melonie. 🙏🏽🥰🏆
I’ve been following your work and benefiting from it since 2019. I’m eternally grateful indeed.
Hi Monica,
so much love to you.
Please know how grateful I am for you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Amazing article . Please keep publishing articles as the spirit (source) guides you because they are excellent and there is something snout words …. On paper you can re read and re absorb ! Thank you fir being a light and helping us other lights to find and stand in our power. Your words always ring true!!!!! Grateful you have been chosen for this work this enlightenment and grateful I learned of you – NARP was for me the missing piece to this narcissistic puzzle I lived with . God bless and keep the articles coming ❤️🙏🏾
Thank you Tonya,
I promise I will.
Bless you and I’m so pleased you have done the inner work with NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and reaped the rewards.
Power and love to you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I needed to read this today.
The sad thing is even though the narcissist will die old and alone, think of all the damage he/she had done to the people he/she has met and even causing some of the deaths of their victims.
I have been reading your articles for myself, but learning to share with anyone I can. My teenage son, who we met through foster care at five years old and later adopted, is struggling with his self concept as we both heal from experiences with people in our family and community who are so much like his narcissistic biological family. It’s sad how much he remembers from them. I know I have guilt that I have not been able to help my son as much as he needed, because I had not healed enough from my narcissistic ex before I married my husband and we adopted my son. We had a good marriage, and a good life, but now I am rebuilding and parenting single, because my husband died of cancer. I have recently been deliberate about my own healing from my past, even while I grieve, at the same time recognizing the importance for my son’s healing and future, too. I admit I am struggling, but give myself grace, because at least I’m still trying. I appreciate the clarity and compassion you have offered, the focus on inner self, how it helped me regain my footing, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this wisdom with my son (somewhat paraphrased in places) as he tries to heal from his past and present.
Thank you, I’m just starting my journey and thanks to your articles, am starting to feel more positive about the future.
Hi Leanne,
Welcome to our wonderful community! I’m pleased I can help!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I believe everything you have said but when the narcissist is your sister & you mourn for the person she once was, how does oneself abandon her? (even though I know this is best for my own peace of mind, quite literally)
Hi Marie,
by doing the inner healing.
I have a couple of suggestions to help you.
First, check out NARP http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and then google my name plus “family narcissists”.
I hope that this can help free you
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Amen! This Article delivered what you promised on Saturday (I watched the episode filmed from your campervan :-)) When you talk about this tribe, Community I am so moved ! “what part of myself can I fully look at and heal” – so Important
Thank You Mel
Kondwani
Thank you Kondwani,
it is such a joy and honour to walk this path with you Dear Man!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
IRENE,! Sure relate to your comment as I do with many others.GUNTHER also have to mention you…….to stay on top of the recovery is very difficult . We all have a story ,some more painful than others,BUT who AM to say that???
Really most people dont understand.! Except for this group
Faith ,trust and living really gets tested!….mostly trust in people…
Believeing one has a llife after years of abuse??…when one gets to their late 60s 70 and 80 s ..well!….it almost sounds laughable !!..washed up,unhealthy BUT remain positive???…..Yah! Sure get comments of defeat..We ARe HUMAN !🙋🙏
I agree with most of the article except for the part where they do not believe in higher power.There are the spiritual and fanatic kind who believe in God and claim to be doing His will . They believe they are the only ones close to the higher power and others are lower souls who can never attain the level of so called spirituality they have. They pretend to be hyper religious while abusing others without an inch of humanity.
Hi Anju,
even when using “the Higher Power” to manipulate and control others – they still deep down (actually not even deep down) believe THEY are the authority.
Even what you describe is “superiority” and grandstanding power OVER others.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Melanie, I love how every one of your posts pops up just at the right time, and have come to recognise this as the ‘so within, so without’ at work. The inner light force is ON, and it feels amazing!
We are really are so blessed Susan to be living this path!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Nailing even appliances breaking down was spooky but spot on! Synchronicity in spades, thanks for your eloquent explanations of the ‘whys’, but more importantly the ‘how’s’ – how to move onwards and upwards.
So glad this helped with “true solution” Julie.
Otherwise, what is the point of information?
We all need remedy!
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I am a 47 year old female who had been living with my narcasistic boyfriend for 23 years and honestly did not even realize it until 2 years ago. I had this gut feeling he was not only cheating on me but had a girlfriend living in the same house with us. Why did I care? He told everyone I was crazy and continues to put me last. Just for once,why can’t I put myself first? He almost destroyed me and I let him do this I have felt trapped and victimized
TRUTH
All Begins and ends with self awareness and becoming whole
Thank you for supporting me on this journey!! I am fully aware & awakened ! Through my own power & Grace I have finally risen and will stay in my power ! 36 years & OUT 🙏🏽🙏🏻🙏🏾❤️☮️
This feels like synchronicity. Last night I was feeling exhausted from re-living historic narc stuff. I lit some candles and pulled out the Justice card from my tarot deck. I told the universe that I just wanted some justice for me, (not the narc) I’m ready for some of the good stuff now, already had enough of the tough. I sat with this for a while and then blew the candles out. This morning, yours was the first email I read, and checking the time received, arrived soon after I asked the universe for some help. I love your articles, but this one struck a chord like no other. Thanks so much xx
Thank you for your insightful and encouraging articles. I began my healing journey in 2007(I was 54). Now at 67, I am so grateful to say that I have steadily learned to love myself in the way I tried to show love and kindness to others. Facing your truth and The Truth does set you free. It is worth the pain because the healing that takes place opens the door to peace of mind and even good health.
This is an excellent article. The devastation of abuse on this level is completely alienating because i did not have the words to explain. I was born into a family with a narcissistic father. Into one relationship after another which became more and more narcissistic which left me utterly depleted. Thank you Melanie, thank you for being a voice and writing in way that we (i) can put this into words.
This makes so much sense. I have had quite a few narcs sucking the life blood out of me for years now. I have always felt a connection with God, even when I was younger. The peace that flows over me when I am connecting with God is like nothing I have ever felt in this world. And Ofcourse I am learning to love me the way God loves me. Well in the process of doing this, I have had the narcissist try to convince me that I don’t have a relationship with God and that I don’t know God, that only he knows God. (because he goes to a religious church). LOL. The lengths these narcissist will go to, to keep us stuck in trauma is truly impressive. If I were to believe him, how isolated would I feel? Fortunately I know God loves me and no one or nothing will ever convince me otherwise. I would like to thank this community for exposing the narcissists games, lies, manipulation and overall antics. Another good article, thank you Melanie!
I absolutely loved this reading and it spoke beyond anything I have read before. You definitely touched my soul and captured my inner light. I almost froze when I read the breakdown of appliances, a car accident, and hacked bank account. This happened like a domino effect to me each one in extreme ways fast and hard yet I still had no idea what was happening. When I read this is truly took my breath away and I want to tell someone, anyone about this but I know they will not truly understand or comprehend the impact of these words as they lay fully understood by every part of being. I am flabbergasted from that entire section and it resonates within my being. I am so glad I read this and I am thankful to have found u for support and guidance through this traumatic journey. Thank you so much!
*Traumatic experience, not journey.
It is late & I need to go to bed but I just wanted to say thank you, Mel; the article above dealing w/”spiritual narcissists” really resonated w/me. I also could relate to the feelings of quite a number of the writers of emails on this site. I am just starting to accept that my life “can be enjoyable today & in the future” & look at life without dread. This may not seem like such a big deal but I held up my dad (the narc) on the highest pedestal for all of his life (I’m sure he liked it/was the “author” of a lot, if not all of it). He died in 2017 at age 93. I really hadn’t realized that he was such a controlling narcissist until I took NARP in 2020 & some missing puzzle pieces of my life started to appear & falling into place. I finally started getting some ‘answers’ to questions I’d had for decades. I also also started to wonder why (after taking NARP) I hadn’t been able to “see” his Narcissism & my own “blind” acquiescence to his manipulations. My life is NOT (now) like I had spent the whole of my previous life thinking & being “resigned” to ‘accepting’ it as being. No. It’s becoming more apparent to me that “my life is MINE” & that my life, rather than something to be “endured”; life can be an exploratory ‘adventure’. It’s not a shameful “veil of tears” or a tough “hard job”, like I’d been trained to think of it in the future, by my dad & family of origin. I’m feeling ‘freer’ than I ever before in my life & I just turned 68. Yes, I’ve got some sort of scary unresolved “health problems” up ahead to deal with; but I’m beginning to feel that with the support of NARP & the strength I’ve already received from this wonderful organization, I’ll be able to do it. I will be able to walk through my upcoming health challenges (related to pain & my being afraid to face ‘more pain’) in order hopefully to resolve some issues, which I haven’t wanted to face. Sorry this is so long & rambling. I just want to say I’m encouraged by the power I feel within the NARP program.
Hi Laurel,
please know how welcome you are and I’m thrilled that you are ready now to go to the next level.
Pain is inevitable but suffering only happens if you don’t face and clear the pain.
You’ve got this Laurel, and we have all got you!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Dear Melanie,
I have been involved with your survive and thrive programmes for many years now, and have grown and now not just live, I thrive am happy as could be, apart from the fact the ex narc is now preying on my daughters for narcissistic energy. He went to live with a very good girlfriend of mine some 10 years ago(just after I left him). I do believe the affair was going on for some years beforehand. However that is in the past and I do not have any emotional feelings about that, what I do care about is the fact t hat this so called friend has now abandoned him. So he has nobody else to seek revenge on apart my 2 daughters (who he used as flying monkeys against me, for many years). I rode that out in time and now my daughters accept me as their Mother instead of the ex-friend and see now that their Fathers lies for what they were. But is still upturning their lives with his narcissistic personality and in turn mine, because when he hurts them I have a very strong emotional tie to them , and hate him for it. Hate is not supposed to be in my heart now , but I despise how he swears at and is rude, obnoxious and blaming towards my girls. How do I help my Daughters?
Hi Christine,
big hugs to you and your daughters.
NARP can be used very powerfully with healing by proxy.
By clearing your traumas regarding your daughters, and then doing proxy healings on them – this is the most powerful way I know of regarding how to help our children.
Are you in the NARP Member’s Forum http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/member to reach out for help with this?
That would be my strongest suggestion to receive further instructions.
If you are not in the NARP Forum then please email one of my lovely support team [email protected] for further details.
Much Love
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Fantastic Mel !!! your writing just gets better and better.This is so spot on in everything.It’s very hard to express just how much your support means from what you do.You are very very special and unique .The suffering you went through has been the alchemy that has turned lead into gold not only for yourself but for so many others and we are truly grateful. love to you .You are beautiful.x
Thank you Shelly!
I’m very grateful for your lovely support
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I am Hindu and I really resent you using our religious beliefs to sell your newsletter. You clearly are just appropriating these beliefs to make a profit off of it. If you plan on doing so, you should know what you are talking about and not spread nonsense about Sanatan dharma. Just for you to know, dharma means duty and it has nothing to do with inner light. I am not touching your definition of karma. Who are YOU to put your spin on our religious beliefs. In fact, it’s rather narcissistic. It’s one thing if you are a follower of Hinduism or Sanatan Dharma but it’s quite another to try to appropriate it and make money or clicks off of it. This is very offensive and you need to stop it.
Hello SB
Have you ever done quanta freedom healing?
Maybe you could try it out and reach some common ground and understanding, then with the message of the article. If not, maybe it doesn´t make sense to take it to offense, either, or making accusations of profits on your beliefs. QFH is a legitimate, powerful healing technique that stands on its own, it doesn’t need to make profit from other beliefs.
Cheers!
Dear SB,whilst I bow to your superior knowledge about dharma ,I have read a piece by Yogacharya O’Brian which is called “How do you live a dharmic life ? ” it says this ……………………….. To live a dharmic life is to live with a sense of higher purpose.That higher purpose is to awaken fully to our true nature and express it to fulfill our devine potential and live in harmony with devine will.We define Dharma life and dharmic living as spiritually conscious purposeful ,inspired creative living.” If this assessment of dharmic living is correct then Melanie’s interpretation of it carries the correct meaning for what she was trying to express.Melanie is not a materialistic person by nature.I have followed her extremely wise teachings for many years.She gives her time and vast amounts of energy to give away her many many blogs to help thousands of people including me who are either living or have lived in deep distress,violence ,fear and hopelessness and has spent nearly every waking minute helping these people to find an alignment with what their lives were and are meant to be.She is a tirelessly generous ,kind ,loving giver.Everyone can have her gifts for free and are not obliged to buy her course unless they wish to.In view of this I believe in what may be religious ignorance that Melanie is not only living a dharmic life of love and servitude to others but has in her own way interpreted the meaning of dharma correctly to help others.She has certainly saved many lives including mine and helped the divinity of source put us back together.She works as a humble conduit through which divine source finds a channel to work it’s purpose.I suggest you follow all of Melanie’s blogs and find out who she really is.Certainly I feel that prejudging a fellow soul without a fair investigating of their actions ,even on religious grounds would not be considered true dharmic behaviour.I had to speak up for Melanie because she is a wonderful person who has been there for me through a most horrendous set of traumatic events lasting years.She is steadfast,honourable,hard working ,kind ,humble and generous, she is also highly loved and valued by all who have had the honour of being helped out of a life of hell by her .
Dear S.B. Having researched this a little bit more L think Melanie is probably talking about the Buddhist interpretation of dharma rather than the Hindu one.
You have sooo shone the light for me Melanie, Thankyou! We are Love. Joy is an open heart! In this note of gratitude, I share both with you!
Thank you Bill,
Bless!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hi Bill,
thank you for your beautiful blessing.
I am very grateful!
Mel 🙏💞🦋
Hey Melanie, I LOVE this article. Thank you for all your amazing work and this modern-day Mystery School of transformation that you have created. You are an inspiration and support to so many souls on their healing journey, and with QFH we’re cleaning up across all our lives and ancestrally, too. The terminology is secondary to the powerful healings and the light of Source that you’re helping us to anchor. So much Love xxx
I’m so pleased you loved this Anita!
Many blessings to you Dear Lady.
Thank you for your beautiful support.
Mel 🙏💞🦋
I’m at a point in life where I don’t feel hard done by. Yes he wanted me in the cold little flat in the wrong side of town, he took half of my house that I owned before I ever knew he existed. However, rather than focus on what he’s done to me, I focused on what I could do to make my life good. One thing was to get away from him. I looked for homes I could afford, and have a beautiful little house in a countryside village. I know that his life has no meaning, and now aged 54, he will be thinking more about death which terrifies him. My dharma is his karma 🙏🏼