Learn how narcissistic dark souls drain your Light and energy and discover how to break free from their control by reconnecting with your true Source and power.

Introduction:

Happy almost Halloween, Dear Thrivers!

This topic is so relevant to this time (in many ways!)

If you’ve ever felt drained, confused, or disconnected after dealing with a narcissist, you’re not alone. Narcissists don’t just harm you emotionally—they steal your Light. In this blog post, we’ll explore how narcissists act as energetic parasites, draining your energy, joy, and autonomy, and we’ll introduce the concept of Wetiko, an ancient mind virus that explains this behavior. Most importantly, I’ll share how you can reclaim your Light and heal from narcissistic abuse.

Why Are Narcissists Considered Dark Souls?

Narcissists are often referred to as “dark souls” because they operate from a deep disconnection from Source energy. Lacking their own inner Light, they rely on manipulating and controlling others to fill their inner void. This isn’t just about emotional manipulation—it’s energetic theft.

Narcissists drain you in multiple ways:

• Self-Worth: By belittling you, they cause self-doubt and confusion.
• Energy: Constant emotional manipulation leaves you feeling exhausted.
• Joy: They dominate your experiences, robbing you of happiness and fulfillment.
• Autonomy: They control your decisions, leaving you disconnected from your authentic self.

Recognizing these behaviors is the first step to reclaiming your power and Light.

How Narcissists Drain Your Light

Narcissists act like black holes, consuming your vitality and leaving you feeling lost and depleted. This often results in:

• Confusion: Gaslighting causes you to doubt your reality.
• Disconnection: You feel cut off from your true self.
• Emotional Numbness: After enduring so much abuse, you may feel detached from your emotions.
• Fear: Narcissists thrive on fear, keeping you trapped in a state of anxiety and hypervigilance.

Understanding Wetiko: The Mind Virus Behind Narcissism

The term Wetiko comes from Native American wisdom and describes a psychic infection—a mind virus of selfishness and disconnection from empathy. Much like narcissism, Wetiko operates on a collective level, affecting individuals and systems alike.

Powerful systems in our world—political, corporate, and even societal structures—mirror narcissistic behaviors, exploiting resources and feeding off the energy of individuals for their own gain. These systems, like narcissists, thrive on division, control, and fear. But there’s hope: you can break free from narcissistic abuse in your personal life, as well as exploitative systems and structures that attempt to control and mine you.

Reclaiming Your Light and Breaking Free from Wetiko

Healing from narcissistic abuse isn’t just about cutting ties—it’s about reconnecting with your own Source of energy and reclaiming your autonomy. To truly break free, you must actively engage in the inner work of releasing the trauma and false beliefs that have kept you in darkness, fear, and confusion.

Narcissists cannot heal from the psychic virus of Wetiko unless they take personal responsibility, which they rarely do. But you can break free by taking responsibility for your healing and reclaiming your Light.

How to Heal and Rise Beyond Victimhood

As you release the trauma inflicted by narcissists and the collective infection of Wetiko, you step into your full power. Your Light can never be fully stolen—it’s always within you, waiting to be reclaimed.

Please find the following power statements to inspire and help shift your reality!

Conclusion:

No narcissist, no parasitic system, and no infection like Wetiko can take away your Light. Your journey toward reclaiming your power starts with taking radical personal responsibility and healing from within.

💔 Are you still in your Painbody because of narcissistic abuse?  The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program™ (NARP), with the super-tool Quanta Freedom Healing™, helps you release trauma and reclaim your true self. Thousands have already transformed their lives, with the proven 10-step formula—now it’s your turn!
✨ ✨ Join NARP here: https://www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and step into freedom.✨ ✨

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Upcoming Event:

November Spa For Your Soul: 5D Ascension Workshop
Tuesday, November 12th – Online via Zoom:

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Through deep Quanta Freedom Healing™ shifts and 5D activations, you’ll release limiting blocks, reconnect with Source, and embody the Light that is truly yours.

Receive a 5D Ascension workbook, access bonus gifts, and join exciting competitions—all designed to support your profound ascension and realignment with your highest self.

This is a pay-what-you-like event (it’s all about abundance!).

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I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions about this topic.

Did you find these power statements helpful and empowering? Have you realized that narcissism is a collective, as well as personal, problem on our planet?

Are you taking back your Light?

Have you heard about “Wetiko” before, and what do you think about this concept?

Much Love,
Mel 🧡 

Inspired by nature, Kami found her calling as an artist and now sells her stunning, intuitively channeled art globally. But despite her manifesting abilities, Kami struggled with managing and holding onto money. She contacted me for a one-on-one Quanta Freedom Healing™ to release subconscious blocks around money and achieve lasting financial prosperity.

Through this healing, Kami experienced profound reversals in her beliefs and was able to use words like “money” without feeling conflicted. Two days later, she felt like she was ‘flying,’ and her imagination was soaring. This is the power of one-on-one healing and the ability to heal from the inside out.

Join the Thriver Community today to start your healing journey and experience the transformative power of Quanta Freedom Healing™. Don’t let subconscious blocks keep you from true financial freedom and living your best life.

Video Transcript

Today, I want to share a live Quanta Freedom Healing™ on a HUGE topic for many people: healing financial prosperity after narcissistic abuse. If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so. I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it.

Kami has been in the Thriver Community since 2021 and worked diligently on herself, with NARP and my online programs, to heal from narcissistic abuse and chronic illnesses. When I first met Kami, she was traumatized, sick, housebound, and barely functioning. She believed that if Quanta Freedom Healing™ hadn’t worked for her, she didn’t want to live.

Thank goodness she did find this way to heal!

Kami released many of her internal traumas, became healthy and happy, and pursued her dream of creating beautiful paintings and sculptures and sharing them with the world.

Kami sells her stunning, intuitively channeled art online, has her own exhibitions, and has even sold pieces whilst creating them on the spot, at the beach, or online within minutes of posting them!

Now, after unlocking her subconscious blocks, Kami enjoys feeling whole in her body, traveling globally, and being inspired by nature while making money from what she loves doing.
However, even though Kami is a master manifester, money slips through her fingers. She creates windfalls of money but then finds herself struggling again. Kami realised this was the pattern, and painful beliefs around money were stuck in her subconscious.

Kami reached out to me for one-on-one healing because she was sick of her battle with finances and wanted them gone.

I was more than happy to help her achieve this—with Quanta Freedom Healing™, which powerfully changes us directly in the subconscious mind/body to change our lives.

This one-on-one healing is the finding, releasing, and reprogramming of WHY Kami has had this pattern and has been unable to be solid, healthy, or safe with finances.

As you will see, Kami’s healing brought more to the table than we could have imagined! Our healing together was fascinating, leaving me again wondering, “How on earth could this be healing other than Quantumly?”

If you already work with the Super Tool Quanta Freedom Healing™, watching this healing will grant you wonderful tips for working on your own healing. If you have never experienced Quanta Freedom Healing™ or considered working directly with the subconscious mind/body, I hope that this method of healing makes sense to you and shows how our lives unfold from within if it is possible to heal from the inside out, and if we don’t go within, we go without.

Within the healing, Kami experienced profound reversals in her beliefs. Off-camera, when we chatted, she said, “This is the first time in my life I have ever been able to say the word ‘money’ without feeling conflicted.”

Two days later, Kami messaged me, “Before my session, I felt limited when I thought about money. Now, I feel like I’m flying, and my imagination is soaring!”

I can’t wait to see what Kami will create next!

To take the first step to start healing Quantumly, join our wonderful Thriver Community, and heal from abuse as Kami did, please see The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program.

If you would like to consider working with me in a one-on-one healing session, please write to support@melanietoniaevans.com for more details.

If you are already a Gold NARP Member and would like to express interest in Quanta Freedom Healing™ training with me in March 2024, then please also write to support@melanietoniaevans.com

I hope you enjoy this Shifts Happen Healing, and I look forward to answering your comments and questions.

This self-destructive barrier keeps you from letting go and moving on.

It can stem from narcissistic abuse or how we were invalidated, distrusted, humiliated, belittled, or abandoned as children, causing feelings of low self-worth and shame.

Luckily, there is a way to break the cycle of distress and de-evolution and start healing. To become free from Repetitive Compulsion Disorder, we must grow in consciousness. Our growth comes from going within and healing the unfinished business of our childhood traumas.

This article will help you recognize the patterns that keep you stuck and show you how to start self-partnering by going within.

Read on if you want to start your self-healing journey today and discover how to take your soul and life back from Repetitive Compulsion Disorder.

Video Transcript

Welcome, dear Thriver, to Thriver TV and our wonderful community where you can heal for real from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so. I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it.

Today, I want to talk about a hot topic: Repetitive Compulsion Disorder. A lot of people are talking about this right now. In conventional psychological terms, Repetitive Compulsion Disorder is the unconscious repetition of painful behaviors to cope with unhealed traumas.

Examples can be things like excessive cleaning or hand washing.

Today, I want to talk about Repetitive Compulsion Disorder regarding toxic relationship abuse, what it is, how it plays out, and how to heal it.

The Inner Fractures of Repetitive Abuse

Let’s start by investigating the inner fractures of repetitive abuse. This is when you’re experiencing things such as the repeat triggers of the abuse. You’re constantly ruminating about the abuse. You could have nightmares or flashbacks and find yourself checking up on somebody who’s abused you or breaking no contact.

That’s all a part of the psychological disorder called Repetitive Compulsion Disorder. It’s a cycle of continuing the pain and hurt and feeling powerless to step out of it. This disorder is a self-destructive barrier and sabotage to letting go and moving on, and it actually got set up inside of us when we were very young and powerless. I’m going to talk about that soon.

If you feel like you can’t stop thinking about somebody or keep away from somebody who’s repeatedly hurting you, then you are suffering from Repetitive Compulsion Disorder.

The past roots of this came from primary caregivers and our wanting to bond to receive safety, trust, and care. But instead, you were invalidated, distrusted, humiliated, belittled, or even abandoned. You hoped for acceptance, love, empathy, and to be valued, yet you couldn’t durably receive it.

This reinforced deep inner feelings of low self-worth and shame, which is at the root of Repetitive Compulsion Disorder. It commonly occurs in people who’ve had complex trauma in their childhood.

These behavioral patterns continue to play out in adulthood, and they’re strongly triggered and reactivated by narcissistic individuals, which I will explain to you soon.

Rats and Repetitive Compulsion Disorder

Before I do, let’s talk about rats and Repetitive Compulsion Disorders. Studies have been done with rats to investigate obsessive compulsions. Rats are put in a cage, and they’ve got a button to push for their feeder to dispense pellets. The button is programmed to require a certain number of nose pushes to get a feed of pellets. No matter the number of nose pushes required, the rats work it out quickly, push the button, get the pellets, eat them, and are happy.

But when the button turns to ‘random,’ something bizarre happens. The rats start manically pushing the button repetitively and cannot stop, even when pellets are scattered all over the bottom of the cage.

If the button is then programmed back to a set number, the rats calm down again and return to normal behavior—only pushing the button when they need a feed.

The longer it takes for the rats to recover, the more often the button is disrupted to ‘random’ and then set back to ‘normal’.

In regards to us as humans, narcissistic individuals are unpredictable. One moment, they seem believable, reliable, and even ‘safe,’ so you believe you’ve reached a resolution and understanding with them. Then, the next day, they say or do something that is not the reality of the situation.

They act defensively to avoid being accountable. They make excuses and project blame, and it seems like any previous sane conversation based on integrity never took place. It’s like the conversation never happened.

This is the proverbial rug being pulled out from under you. Of course, as you know from experiencing a narcissistic individual, this is only a tiny snapshot of the deception, the unknown territory, and the rampant distrust you suffer from being in a relationship with a narcissistic individual.

To break these chains of distrust, de-evolution, and continual breakdown, growth in consciousness is required to stop the repeat behaviors of ‘going in for more’ that continue to hurt us and don’t allow us to let go and move on.

How Empaths and Narcissists Display Repetitive Compulsion Disorder Differently

We would agree that most humans want predictability and safety in their external environment, just as the rats did.

After a traumatic event, you would usually want to make sense of it and might battle it ‘out there’ to try to make things sane and safe again. Most empaths seek to understand. They go towards people to try to understand what’s going on with that person and to sort matters out.

Empaths also express their feelings to make others understand what is happening inside them. Empaths do that to try to connect.

Narcissists don’t have the compulsion as empaths do to go towards others to get reason and safety. Safety to a narcissist is not what it is for an empath – it does not involve vulnerability, honesty, and transparent collaboration. Rather, it’s avoiding these things so that the false self – the ego – can be held apart and maintained in superiority to others.

To do this, narcissists decide their version of the truth. They don’t have partnerships with others. They’re not interested in what’s going on inside of you. They’re only interested in their version of things, a narrative necessary to preserve the false self.

You will experience this whenever you’re in discord or disagreement with a narcissist. He or she will refuse to talk candidly about what happened and resist you looking to them for accountability, safety, honesty, and empathy.

The more you try, the more they will disconnect and defend the false self with alternative realities, excuses, non-relevant information, projections, tit-for-tat, and other defense mechanisms.

The narcissist’s Repetitive Compulsion Disorders – meaning unconscious repeat behaviors stemming from unhealed traumas – are the defenses that come with their broken, disowned Inner Identity being guarded determinedly by the False Self – the ego.

You’ll notice when a narcissist comes back into your life after a separation that they’re not interested in the nitty-gritty discussion about what happened, how it happened, the accountability for it, and what is necessary for understanding, healing, and putting the steps in place for it not to happen again.

They don’t want to work that out or look at that deeply. This inability to lean into you is also an inability to face that inner truth about themselves. They don’t change Without personal development, nor does their relationship capacity.

The Growth To Heal From Repetitive Compulsion Disorder

Let’s talk about the growth necessary to heal from Repetitive Compulsion Disorder. What’s so important is that, like all addictions, repeat behaviors are a symptom of a core issue. At the core, we have feelings of defectiveness,  shame, and rejection that have caused us to try to make somebody love and value us and treat us with care, honesty, and empathy.

The problem is that we can’t change anyone else. We can only change and heal ourselves. Otherwise, we continue the patterns with other people who have neither the capacity nor the desire to meet us in a healthy, loving way.

The real truth is that we need to become whole and self-loving people with whom healthy others can connect at a real level of connection, teamwork, intimacy, vulnerability, and integrity. And we need to believe we’re worthy of this.

As children, we felt helpless and hopeless regarding our painful beliefs, and we couldn’t heal ourselves beyond these feelings, but as adults, we can. This requires turning within, self-partnering, and finally meeting and healing this unfinished business.

You may feel like this repetitive compulsion has only come on as an adult, yet it was set up when we were young.

The real question to yourself is more profound than “Why do I have Repetitive Compulsion Disorder?” “What unhealed traumas from the past, where my needs weren’t met safely, are causing me to play out the same traumas again?” And “How can I meet and heal these traumas and heal myself from the inside out beyond them?”

I’d love to invite you to take a pen and paper and start turning inwards to what’s really going on here. I want you to write out this question. “When I keep thinking about the person who hurt me and keeps going toward them, how do I really feel about myself?”

Breathe deeply. Open your body and check inside of you. You may have feelings like “I feel unworthy of love, defective, not good enough, unlovable, unheard, unmet, or not valued.” Those are all widespread feelings, and you may have more.

Then, ask yourself what needs are not being met by staying connected to this person.

You may have feelings such as recognition, honesty, safety, support, care, kindness, healthy communication, resolution, love, and truth.

Then, write out this question. “When, before this time, have I had these same feelings?” Open your body, breathe, and trust what answers arise from within. It’s important not to try to work it out logically. Take your attention inside of yourself because that’s where your somatic, inner, emotional self can arise to give you your answer.

After getting the answer, you can imagine seeing your young, small self within your inner being. Imagine conversing with this little self and saying, “Sweetheart, I know you didn’t receive these things in your past, and you’re still trying to get them from people who match the same old pattern. I now know that only I can turn inwards to you, love you, and devote myself to you enough to help you heal from this.” Then you can imagine holding him or her and pouring love into your inner child.

Keep breathing, keep your body relaxed and open, and tell your inner child that you love him or her unconditionally and will never leave him or her again.

This is the beginning of you coming home to yourself to heal. Self-partnering and self-healing are devotions to moving out of the pain and into wholeness.

At first, it can seem really foreign to do that – or even a waste of time – because we haven’t been shown or taught how to do this as a life skill.  But I promise you, you can do this. It starts with changing your self-talk and your decisions regarding treating yourself.

Another great question to ask yourself is, “How would you treat yourself if you were somebody else whom you adored and cared for?”

Would you drink, smoke, eat junk, or chase after emotionally unavailable people and tell yourself how terrible and weak you are? No. Would you keep lying to yourself with false promises? Would you keep repeating the actions that hurt you and let yourself down?

Or would you dedicate yourself to your growth and healing, becoming healthier, happier, and having higher self-worth and self-value? Ideally, you would.

In Conclusion

I’d love to take you on a journey to understand this further – how you can heal from within and take your soul and your life back from Repetitive Compulsion Disorder and the people who represent the unsafety, unpredictability, and unloving behavior that goes with it.

Please go to my page on Quanta Freedom Healing™, a powerful tool for working directly on your subconscious states that formed in childhood regarding any negative belief or pattern to raise you up from old, painful, repeat patterns.

I created the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP), which is a 10-step process to achieve this. It’s the most powerful way I’ve discovered to take back our humanity and our souls.

I look forward to reading your comments and questions about this episode. I hope it made sense, helps to explain why you’ve been doing this, and gives you hope that you can heal.

Until the next episode, keep smiling, keep healing, and keep thriving because there is nothing else to do. Lots of love. Bye-bye.

This is important because you were not your Best Self in and after a toxic relationship. You became a much lesser version of your true Soul Potential.

Of course, that was not your fault. It stands to reason that you aren’t well, smiling, and sweet when you are on a battlefield. When you are lied to, have reality twisted, get the rug pulled out from under you, and do not receive accountability or repair, your Inner Identity is drastically affected, and you get sick—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

The four pillars of your Inner Identity—’love’ (meaning the human connection to yourself and others), ‘approval’ (knowing your value in the world), ‘security’ (what your now and future will bring), and ‘survival’ (whether you will be able to get through this and what is coming)—are all compromised.

Leaving you asking, “Who AM I?”

When thrust into survival, you cannot love yourself, others, your life, or things that used to bring you passion, well-being, and purpose. Additionally, you have multiple losses to come to terms with—your mental health and the lost ground you have suffered while in survival. This could be shattered relationships, an inability to work, or financial setbacks.

Probably the greatest mourning is the loss of who you thought this person was and having to accept they are capable of such actions, lies, and lack of conscience and empathy that you didn’t believe was possible from someone you loved.

With all my heart, I want you to know that struggling with recovery or never being the same again after an experience like this does not have to be your life sentence.

There are definite steps that you can take to find your True Self after abuse. Today, I want to address these with you.

Survival First

A metaphor for the journey from toxic relationships to your True Self is this…

Jumping off a burning, sinking ship onto a small life raft with whatever you can take with you. Everything you thought was ‘your life’ is with that ship. If you stay on the large boat, hanging onto dependencies, false potential, ‘stuff,’ and the dream you thought was absolute, you are going to get burnt and drowned.

In a toxic relationship, by the time you are discarded or have to bring yourself to leave, things are in serious trouble. You’ve already done the rounds with the issues. You have spoken up and fought for yourself and the relationship. Or maybe you acquiesced, did not have a voice, and tried to ‘go along to get along’ and survive the toxic flareups, but nothing changed. Typically, you TRIED repeatedly to make the relationship work with this person and have sustained severe damage. You have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Your nervous system is shot to pieces. Not only is the ship in bad shape, you are as well.

But you still have a True Self to salvage. The ship is a False Self reality – it’s not aligned in health or integrity. You are entering the lifeboat not because you want to but because you must. You are entering the lifeboat not because you don’t love this person but because you have no choice but to love yourself.

In the lifeboat on the open sea, it’s treacherous; you are terrified. You feel alone, in the dark and out in the cold. You believe there is an island somewhere that you could make it to, but you can’t see it yet. There is very little aboard the lifeboat because so much of you got lost in that relationship – burned up, emptied out, and even destroyed. Your heart is shattered, your mind is fried, your nervous system is shot to pieces, and your spirit is deeply disturbed that your life ended up like this.

But you still have your Soul – the essence of YOU – to protect, stand for, survive with, heal, and eventually Thrive with.

Practically, getting to an island as fast as possible is important. This means finding somewhere to stay if you are leaving and finding supportive people who can help you. Support is needed right now, and that can be difficult to reach out for and accept, especially when the narcissist has isolated you and made many believe that you are the crazy one.

You may be filled with shame and guilt about how sick you have become and the things you have said and done under the intense pressure of ongoing abuse.

I strongly suggest that the RIGHT support network is essential.

Many people make the mistake of going to victimized places and forums for support. I don’t recommend this at all. Sharing war stories, such as “Well, you think that was bad? This is what happened to me!” is not what you need right now. You need HEALTHY people to support you, who empathize and validate what you went through and can help you heal for real.

Sadly, most people can’t fathom the devastating, mind-bending effects of narcissistic abuse unless they have experienced it themselves – and if they have, they are usually very toxically damaged and can’t help themselves get well, much less you.

You need people who know what it is like to be in that small lifeboat, who made it to the island and rebuilt it with the right tools and processes. In fact, they built their own private resort on these islands – no matter what they originally had with them on their lifeboats!

As such, I would love to welcome you into our beautiful community where I am confident you will receive clarity and powerful answers as to what REALLY happened to you and HOW to come out the other side of this, not just into a New Self, but your True Self – a greatly improved version of yourself, far superior to Who You Were before abuse – even if abuse is all that you have ever known.

To join our community, you can sign up for my FREE 16-day Recovery Course. Or you can intensively heal for real with a Lifetime Membership of the incredible Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). To find out more, just click on this link.

These powerful transformational resources will save you so much time, maybe even decades, trying to find your True Self after abuse.

Maybe, like my previous Self, you were used to doing everything alone. Maybe you have struggled to ask for support or are scared of being rejected or controlled if you accept it.

A powerful ‘accepting support’ mantra is:

“I open up to allow in the support, guidance, and love that is my divine right to help me heal.”

Suppose you are a NARP Gold member who is not visiting the NARP Community Forum to receive FREE, unlimited, lifetime access to support and solutions. In that case, you can set this Goal in the Bonus Goal Setting Module:

“I release the need to do everything myself. I let people in to help, support, love, and partner with me in the growth toward my True Self.”

This is a powerful, life-changing shift for SO many people!

Keep clearing all resistances in your Being until you reach a 10/10 on this Goal.

If you are currently a NARP Silver Member and wish to have Forum access, please write to support@melanietoniaevans.com, and one of my lovely team members will help you to upgrade!

Emotions Next

What I find most challenging about helping people find their True Self after abuse is helping them commit to healing from the inside out.

This means going within to heal, calm, and put themselves back together rather than trying to get something outside to help.

This is like trying to fix a faulty car engine with the bonnet closed or stapling sandwiches onto your sweater to feel like you have eaten lunch.

Not only have we all been trained away from going within, but it is typical to obsess about everything outside ourselves when traumatized.

Have you ever tried to put a piece of furniture together and gotten triggered and frustrated? It doesn’t work until you detach from the problem, calm yourself down, and reread the instructions.

This is a very simplified version of living life from the inside out. Nothing works in our life with untreated internal triggered trauma – it just gets worse. I don’t believe there is any place we get to see the devastating effects of this more than in and after narcissistic abuse.

There is no relief in obsessively thinking about the abuse and what they did, talking to them, trying to hold them accountable, being stressed, and then re-traumatized by attempting to deal with the heavy fallouts, losses, and disasters that your life has become as a result of the breakup, and the lack of closure or peace afterward.

Only you can heal these inner states. These feelings are in your body, and nothing outside you will heal them – not even if you receive a genuine apology (which is extremely unlikely).

There is still the trauma of lost dreams, wasted opportunity, your blown-out nervous system, the fear of the future, the feelings of abandonment – and the list goes on and on. Plus, you have a break-up to get through with all the nasty fallout that is common from narcissists, plus a future to try to rebuild while you go through possible hoovering, threats, abuse by proxy, breadcrumbing, and goodness knows what else. To complicate matters, you may have kids and property involved.

In these extreme times, it stands to reason that EVERYTHING stands a much better chance with healthier, calmer, and more stable emotions.

There is an old expression, “When you don’t have time to meditate, it is the time you need to meditate the most.”

Mine is, “After narcissistic abuse, when you least want to meet your inner being to heal it, is the time that you need to do this the most.”

Otherwise, you will experience a terribly challenging ride. The WORST cases of narcissistic abuse breakdowns we see in this community are people NOT working through their emotions.

Contrary to popular belief, turning inwards to meet and heal the Self is not a ‘horrible’ thing. Dedicating yourself to it brings immediate relief, clarity, and calm back into your life because it settles emotional dysregulation—the trauma in your Inner Being that is causing emotional agony—and the accompanying stinking thinking. If you address that internal trauma, then the obsessive, panicked, shattering thoughts start to heal as well because your brain follows your Inner Being.

Inner Being MUST come first. Trying to THINK, talk, or research your way out of the pain equals losing every time because the internal trauma is NOT addressed.

I suggest meditation, breathwork, being in nature… anything that stops you from thinking and takes you lovingly inside to self-reflect, self-love, self-soothe, and heal. You can’t shame and blame yourself for wellness—it only creates more trauma.

A powerful ‘turning inwards’ mantra is:

“It is safe for me to turn within. My Inner Being is waiting for my love, devotion, and healing to become whole, safe, and happy. This is my ultimate act of self-love and self-care .”

If you are a NARP member, set this Goal in the Bonus Goal Setting Module:

“I turn within with love, devotion, and power to release my Inner Being from darkness and replace where those wounds were with Light. I am shifting more and more into my True Self.”

Growth Next

Time does not heal the wounds of narcissistic abuse victims. This is not an ordinary loss or grief – it has caused a disturbing infiltration, shock, and distortion of your Inner Identity.

You can choose to go through something as horrific as toxic abuse or grow through it.

The Thriver model of recovery here at MTE is about the latter.

Years ago, one of my NARP Members said, “Melanie, I was so upset when my counselor said, ‘There was no reason you went through this. It could happen to anyone.’ But I wanted a reason. not to blame me, but so there was something I could heal, develop, or work towards—for what I went through to have meaning. I knew I had found what I was looking for when I found you.”

She’s right. If there is no meaning or growth for us, then we are helpless victims, with nothing we can do for ourselves to evolve and rise from this experience. There is also nothing we can heal to protect ourselves in the future.

Growth is all about moving into your True Self.

The Self can dissolve the abuse symptoms, evolve, become whole and confident, set boundaries, and arise as authentic and able to create much healthier, more prosperous partnerships with others and life.

Information is not transformation; transformation is inner work. I, along with many others here, do this with NARP. Healing into your True Self is not a timeline; it’s an inner state. It’s determined by the composition of your Inner Being—primarily how much trauma you have let go of from within and how much you are choosing, connecting to, and growing into your Higher Self (which is your True Self).

I acknowledge that the Thriver Model of ‘growth’ is not for everyone. I respect people who wish to remain victimized—blaming themselves and others for what happened in their lives and not wanting to self-reflect and do the inner work to heal. I understand this because I was there for years. Yet it nearly killed me. If I had not chosen the Thriver Path of support, emotions first, and growth, I would not be alive today, much less Thriving.

The growth path shifts you from victim to survivor to Thriver, emerging with more self-love, self-worth, confidence, capacity, greater boundary function, authenticity, and power to create a spectacular life—not despite what happened to you but because of it.

You would never have needed to do this inner work without this time of personal catharsis.

‘Life can no longer go on as normal.’

A powerful ‘growth’ mantra is:

“All of my experiences are happening for me and not to me. I recognize the gift of growth in every experience and accepting and taking on that growth delivers me to the life of my dreams.”

If you are a NARP member, set this Goal in the Bonus Goal Setting Module,

“I let go of my experiences that hurt to receive the Light of growth and transformation and the deliverance of my True Self, which enters me and flows through me as me.”

Living Forward

As a Thriver—creating and carving out your True Self—you realize that your True Life is honesty, power, and authenticity.

It’s the ability to become an adult in our skin, speaking the truth, saying “No” when we mean no, laying boundaries, having difficult conversations, and being vulnerable and honest. Speaking up when necessary, making decisions that align with wholesome truth, and caring for ourselves, regardless of what others are or aren’t doing.

The empowerment of your True Self coming online can’t be faked. It won’t hold, be authentic, be respected, or create genuine relationships when trying to ‘do these things’ from a wounded inner core.

This is why all the steps before moving forward are necessary for tangible results in your life.

The most beautiful aspect of Living Forward is trusting your intuition—your inner GPS—because you live in alignment with integrity rather than heeding the small, needy, traumatized voice that takes you into even more experiences that lead to more trauma.

This is thriving: it is how we were always supposed to live as our true Selves, starting to be guided and expanded by our higher self-alignments.

There is no arriving. Our True Self IS this journey, with you constantly growing into more of it.

Make sense?

In Conclusion

I hope today’s article has simplified things for you.

With all of my heart, I promise that if you get these states right, all the details will start to take care of themselves.

Because you are IN integrity.

You receive and follow the guidance.

You can say “no” now.

The details—that our overactive minds want to work out NOW and persuade us are impossible—all start to unfold healthily and organically, and your life will begin to work.

That’s what happens when a true self lives an authentic life. But you need to become – from the inside – the generative force of this.

Let me know in the comments below how this article feels for you!

For many of us, trying to be “attractive” was terrifying. What if that brought unwanted, abusive attention? Or maybe because of feeling lonely, replaced, and abandoned, we hoped to “get back out there” and find someone who would love us. Yet these actions only brought more feelings of unworthiness.

After abuse and growing into my New and True Self, I wanted to be attractive but in a different way. A way that reflected loving and accepting myself and was all about nourishing myself into shape rather than punishing myself.

Plus, I didn’t want to spend hours on my well-being, health, and attractiveness. Rather, I wanted quick and powerful “less is best” practices, which meant my life was simplified, leaving time for all the juicy creation stuff of Thriving in life!

I had to confront and heal my pain and limiting beliefs, which used to make “honing my attractiveness” self-damaging and had led to me being objectified by others – specifically narcissists.

In the last ten-plus years, I have seen women, after abuse, make incredible transformations from the inside out, where they go from feeling wholly unattractive and unlovable to gorgeous and magnetic regardless of age, weight, or body shape.

They draw attention and attract high-vibrational people wherever they go, reflecting the well-being that oozes out of them!

Maybe YOU are ready to rock this too!

I’m very excited to share some powerful tips and shifts with you today to help you access true Thriver Beauty from the inside out.

Reversing Toxic Health and Results with Food

After abuse, we are clogged up with trauma: the trauma of the abuse, plus the abuse we do to ourselves trying to survive the abuse. Our go-tos to numb out the pain may be junk food (or no food), sugar, alcohol, pills, cigarettes, toxic people, too much phone and screen time, and so on. Not only do we not receive the nutrition and oxygen in our cells for them to function healthily, but we may also look in the mirror and see extra pounds and wrinkles or saggy skin. Our hair could be falling out. We feel depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. Perhaps we have poor sleep quality.

Even after Thriver Recovery, you may not have the best nutrition habits or be unsure how specific tweaks will be life-changing. You may have yet to experience how incredibly your body and appearance can respond when you start nourishing yourself with food correctly.

Did you know that proper nutrition is vital to create your New Self – the Self you are dedicated to becoming as the best possible version of you – the Self that Source / God / Creation intended you to be?

Toxicity and inflammation are the enemies. They block your spiritual, emotional, and mental growth and physically inflame your brain, vital organs, and nervous system. You can’t heal your way out of narcissistic abuse and spiritually progress upwards from a lousy diet. It is crucial to combine nutrition with inner work.

Things like sugar, processed foods, and too much alcohol are bad habits and cause widespread collateral damage. Whole foods and some specific foods help reduce inflammation and start to heal the damage.

Our bodies are incredible machines that know how to repair themselves if we grant them the right fuel. Healthy bodies lose and maintain a healthy weight. Learning to source and eat healthily grants you delicious meals that truly satiate you, and nourishing your body becomes a self-love ritual that deepens your connection to yourself.

How you treat yourself with food also becomes the template for your attraction to genuine, whole others.

Your Quantum Makeover Mantra Number 1 –

“As I release toxicity from within emotionally, spiritually and physically, the Light buried in my darkness will activate. I will heal, rise and claim the nourished version of myself who is attractive in wholesome ways.”

Moving Your Body Towards Ascension

We are spirits in a human flesh suit – a body – that optimally will carry us healthily and energetically through life, even as we age. Our body is a vessel that we can be proud of.

How I moved my body with exercise after abuse, and as I aged, has become transformational and inspirational. After the narcissistic abuse, I was so sick and depressed that I couldn’t face exercising, or I would try to smash myself into shape with too much unsustainable exercise. You may relate to this “all or nothing” type of behavior.

I was obsessed with weight and tried extreme dieting or exercise to control it. Now I know how to work in a kind, enjoyable, and holistic way where my body no longer fights back and responds by flowing into a healthy shape.

Many of us, because of stress and being menopausal, have insulin resistance and too much inflammation to lose weight, no matter how hard we try to diet and exercise. Much gentler exercise, done in the right way (less is often best), creates a much more manageable, healthier, nurturing path to body victory. For example, I could do “exercise” in the passenger seat of an Alena Star Bus while we traveled around Australia!

Letting go of grueling cardio granted me a body, mind, and intuition connection that assisted my growth and spiritual ascension and shaped my body more effectively with much less effort.

Tackling the painful patterns and beliefs holding you back from exercise success helps so much with your body goals! Without your trauma, you can finally create the perfect exercise routine for YOU – so enjoyable that you will look forward to performing it. Not only that, but the physical and psychological effects of your new routine can become a virtuous circle because seeing the change in how you look and feel will encourage you to keep going.

Your Quantum Makeover Mantra Number 2 –

“As I move in ways that I love, my body will love this, and I will love my body. I will feel and look flexible, strong and trim – naturally and healthily.”

Adorning Yourself to Feel Confident and Attractive

Much of “attractiveness” is presenting ourselves with hair, makeup, and fashion. After being broken down by abuse, you lose a sense of yourself and may struggle to connect to expressing your appearance in the world.

Showing up authentically is all about the outside matching the inside—but what if you still need that inner standing? Without a solid sense of self, it’s hard, if not impossible, to have your own style—how do you choose between clothes and cosmetics when you cannot be sure of your likes and dislikes?

Not only that, but you may have painful programmed beliefs about taking care of yourself this way. For example, women can believe it is vain, selfish, and wasteful to wear make-up, get their nails done, or follow fashion. Or maybe you have a fear of being seen while adorning yourself. What if this brings too much or unwanted attention? On the other hand, you may believe you are only acceptable if you are perfectly presented and living up to the beauty standard of the day.

When you unpick and unravel these beliefs, then learn how to powerfully and expertly reverse them, you will experiment and find your style so that your outside can reflect who you are on the inside.

Imagine how it will be when you can show up in Life as even more of Who You Are, in full glowing radiance! It is so powerful to follow your heart into the look that makes your soul sing!

Sharing and discussing skincare tips, beauty tricks, and hairdo know-how is also much fun. I adore it when women support and celebrate each other’s beauty!

Your Quantum Makeover Mantra Number 3 –

“As I adorn myself with my own individual look and style, my inner power and beauty will be uniquely shared with the world.”

Conclusion

I truly hope this article has inspired you to create a New You after abuse.

Now, you can make yourself your own dedicated masterpiece emotionally, spiritually, and physically from the inside out.

My new upcoming 4-week Quantum Makeover course is called “Quantum” because it is the inner piece of the process. It grants you the self-examination, awareness, and healing shifts from the inside that will enable you to activate your desire and commitment to making the changes needed to get into the “makeover” part.

Which is going to be so much fun to share with you!

This Course kicks off next week, on Tuesday, 30th May 2023!

Please don’t worry if you can’t make any of these four online classes Live, as you will receive all your program materials – recordings, healings, and workbooks – to keep for life. And the Live group healings are just as effective in the replay.

Are you ready to claim your New Look and your New Life? Let me know in the comments below—I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

‘Survivors’ often find themselves still trapped in their trauma, even after leaving the relationship – and sometimes long after leaving.  This is very common in the conventional recovery community, and it happened to me, too.

I was so broken by abuse that I almost died! So, if you are still suffering after being abused, I want to give you hope that it’s possible to heal into a life that is even more joyful and satisfying than the one you had before the abuse. Let me show you the Thriver way – a different (and faster) pathway to healing.

If this sounds like an impossible dream, watch the video or read the transcript below to discover the difference between surviving and thriving – and how to make that switch.

Video Transcript

Welcome to Thriver TV, where you learn not just how to survive narcissistic abuse but also how to Thrive from it. If you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so. I’d love for you to share my work with others who need it.

Many people will say “I am an abuse Survivor”, yet here, in our wonderful community, I am passionate about using the term ‘Thriver’ from abuse.

This doesn’t mean that this is any sort of immediate expectation. Instead, it is a healing journey from Victim – to Survivor – and then on to a ‘Thriver’ as a much more direct path to healing than the contemporary abuse survivor path.

The easiest way for me to explain the Thriver healing path and how it is an up-leveled reality from Survival is to draw distinct comparisons.

Leaving the Narcissist

Surviving
• Getting away but still having the trauma trapped inside you, generating fear, pain, and re-traumatisation.

Thriving
• Detaching not just physically but detoxing the narcissist’s energy out of the inside of you to start healing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually rather than just physically getting away. Recovery from narcissistic abuse is a spiritual battle for your soul – simply leaving is not enough to heal.

Thoughts About the Narcissist

Surviving
• The narcissist still lives inside you, meaning obsessive rumination exists because the brain is following the emotional, somatic, limbic system traumatization (in the body).  Continually thinking about your feelings keeps re-traumatising you – like shooting yourself with the same bullet 1000 times over. The obsessional thoughts continue indefinitely because your inner emotional being is not free from trauma.

Thriving
• In our wonderful community, we use Quanta Freedom Healing™ to release internal trauma, meaning no longer trying to think your way out of the unthinkable. Because of effectively letting the trauma go, there are no more painful emotional feelings to think about. Obsessional thoughts very quickly start to melt away.

Narcissistic Abuse Symptoms

Surviving
• By being trauma-filled and suffering obsessional thoughts, generating emotional pain, fear, and anxiety, the conditions creating toxic thoughts, real-life battles, lack of self-care, poor health choices, and deeply damaging cortisol and adrenalin surges, the symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), adrenal issues, anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia, and any other mental, physical, emotional, spiritual and financial dis-ease remain and are further fuelled.

Thriving
• Releasing the internal traumas heals the emotional self, quieting the mind because it is not trying to analyze traumatized feelings. Space opens for feelings and thoughts of clarity, hope, and empowerment; everything starts re-setting back to health. Thrivers commonly go free from the nasty narcissistic abuse symptoms and become healthier than ever, even if abuse is all they have ever known from earliest childhood.

The Focus on Trying to Heal

Surviving
• Involves researching everything there is to know about narcissists and focusing on who and what that person did to you. This is like being hit by a car and having people leave you bleeding out on the road to run after the driver. Information about narcissists doesn’t give you any more internal healing than ignoring your wounds from a hit-and-run does.

Thriving
• As Pema Chodron famously said, “If someone comes along and shoots an arrow into your heart, it’s fruitless to stand there and yell at the person. It would be much better to turn your attention to the fact that there’s an arrow in your heart.” The Thriving mantra is, “If there is trauma inflicted on me, it’s not my fault. But it is my responsibility to heal it because it’s in my body.”

The “Meaning of What Happened”

Surviving
• Means being stuck in the victimization of battling abuse symptoms, feeling like it was just a terrible stroke of fate, and that a narcissist can take anyone in. Believing nothing needs changing or could be changed about self nullifies the ability to heal “self,” which is the only way to heal and change one’s life. The orientation is, “This happened to me – I am a victim, and there is nothing I can do about it.”

Thriving
• Taking the orientation: “As horrible as it was, and how traumatized and broken I am now, there was a reason for this.” Healing the Thriver Way involves turning inwards with inner healing processes (we use the Quanta Freedom Healing™ Modules in NARP – the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program) to meet, feel, release, and heal up the parts of us that felt these people were familiar and subconsciously didn’t allow us to set boundaries or let go and look after ourselves, set values and limits and come home to our power to be free to be ourselves truly. The orientation is “This happened for me. It is my time of personal catharsis, healing, and growth to claim the only Self and life that would truly gratify me.”

Trust

Surviving
• Having a diminished faith in life, trying to learn how to identify narcissists, and suffering a lack of trust in others, life, and especially in self because of still feeling damaged, needy, and empty inside.

Thriving
• Undertaking the development and growth of learning how to show up authentically, speak up, and be able to take time to get to know people because of feeling whole and solid on the inside. Knowing there is no need to put one’s self and life in the hands of others – a healthy, safe, and fulfilling life is about trusting yourself and your intuition, speaking up, and setting the bar higher. “What you accept is what you will get.”

Laws of Life

Surviving
• Not embodying the Quantum Law of so within, so without. Trying to live from “the outside in” by fruitless monitoring, controlling, and changing people and situations to feel healthier.

Thriving
• Understanding Quantum Law so within, so without, knowing you are unfolding your life from your inner universe to your outer universe. As an adult, your subconscious programs are responsible for over 90% of how you feel, what you think, who you choose, how you treat yourself, and who, what, and how you participate in life. The inner work with Quanta Freedom Healing™ (NARP) creates your life powerfully and effectively from “the inside out.” Because you get better, you choose and do better, and everything changes beyond description.

Boundaries

Surviving
• Continuing to struggle without a healthy inner standing of boundaries. Continuing people-pleasing allows exploitation or using ineffective ways of speaking up, thus providing a narcissistic supply to abusers, allowing them to manipulate you while you are trying to get your needs met. May choose hermit withdrawal from humanity, connection, and love.

Thriving
• Doing the inner work to release and heal up from the old programs to trust your intuition, speak up, state limits without the fear of criticism, rejection, abandonment, or punishment, and be willing to leave relationships if boundaries are not respected, rather than lose yourself trying to be loved. Therefore, we should carve out much healthier, genuine, authentic connections.

Conclusion

If you are barely surviving abuse, this information is not to shame and blame you; it is to give you hope and inspire you.

I, too, was crippled for years by mere abuse of survival, and while I was with the trauma trapped inside of me, I got sicker and more broken until I nearly died.

This is why I am passionate about the Thriver Recovery model. I feel so blessed I was able to channel Quanta Freedom Healing™  develop the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program and be the founder of The Thriver Way to heal from abuse, which has revolutionized previous healing paradigms.

I hope that by digesting this information today, you can understand why.

Most of all, I want you to know there is a new and authentic way to heal, and there is no way that your soul intended you to stay as you are now. Your best self and best life are yet to come.

I hope this article has helped you understand why I say in my videos, “Keep Thriving because there is nothing else to do.”

Please let me know if you feel you are merely surviving, healing, and Thriving, or sometimes both.

Did you know it was possible to upgrade to Thriving after narcissistic abuse?

Is there some part of you deep inside that feels this can be possible and knows it is your soul’s right to do so? If so, I’d love to help you.

You can read all about NARP by clicking on this link.

As always, I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.

Until the next Thriver TV episode, keep smiling, keep healing, and keep thriving, because there is nothing else to do. Lots of love. Bye-bye.

Personally, it means a lot to me—so much so that many years ago, I called my inner self-healing modality Quanta Freedom Healing™.

Today, I will explain what Quantum means to the best of my ability. As well as what ‘Going Quantum’ means and why I believe it is the proper solution for going free from narcissistic abuse and rising into Thriving.

The Basic Understanding of the Word Quantum

To many, Quantum refers to the vibrational Universe, the unseen interconnected energy generating the world we see. The wave functions beneath matter, even below the sub-atomic level. Quantum Science is a recognition of an all-encompassing intelligence that exists outside space, time, and matter and is ever-present in every moment of now.

I firmly believe this is where spirituality and science become One. We may call this force God, Source, Creation, Higher Divine Mind, or Intelligence. I agree completely with this recognition of ‘Quantum’.

Living in a Quantum world means constantly participating with a Higher Consciousness – whether we do this consciously or unconsciously. A deeper understanding of how life unfolds and our connection to the works of a Higher Mind allows you to manifest personal realities in a more fulfilling, successful, and meaningful way.

Taking Your Power Back

The joy I experience living a ‘Quantum Life’ is because I have evolved beyond feeling powerless. I wanted to move past feeling victimized, frustrated, and traumatized – narcissistic abuse was the zenith of that. I wanted to know if what had happened to me had meaning – and if so, how I could recover from the trauma and create something better.

I always sensed there was more to the ‘game of life’ than continual struggle and survival, but I lost all faith in the Law of Attraction principles, which certainly did not work even when I was ‘staying positive.’ Merely ‘staying positive’ when dealing with extreme inner trauma was impossible.

I wanted to know how the Universe and my part worked.

Becoming a conscious creator with the Higher Mind joyously became my life. It can and will help anyone who wants to go Quantum and tries to become this level of Beingness.

The Connected Universe

Quantum Consciousness is Unity Consciousness, which can also be described as ‘Oneness’.

It becomes the lived experience of knowing that you and God / Source /Creation are One, that you are an individual piece of this higher consciousness.

The fall of humanity came through the programmed belief of ‘separation’ from God / Source / Creation. You are not separate, but you can have the assumption that you are and thus manifest it as your experience – the powerful Creator that you are. In this fractured belief, you are not worthy of the blessings of a higher power. You have to earn, beg, or give your soul to get it.

Separation Consciousness is the belief that there is lack, division, war, poverty, depression, and sickness. This creates barbaric acts born out of division, fear, and chaos from victims and perpetrators alike. There is rampant self-abuse and other-person abuse. We have been programmed to accept the separation condition as ‘normal’.This disordered consciousness is not natural – it’s a deep, insidious sickness.

In fear and pain, and pitted against each other, we keep the delusion of separation consciousness. We become more broken, are taken further away from Higher Consciousness, and then fall for False Substitutes – false people and systems pretending to be God.

This is what narcissism is—the denying of a higher self and the worship of the ego (Edging God Out). It’s the hubris of “I am God!” and the worship of the outer false idols of ‘stuff’ and ‘things’. It’s an attachment to the cost of outer things while denying all true value of the inner self.

Denying the value of the inner self is denying God / Source / Creation – because the Higher Consciousness and your Soul are One. It is where God /Source resides – inside you. Separated people are hurt people who hurt people, and they spew trauma onto others, infecting humanity like a plague. Welcome to the narcissistic delusion of planet Earth.

Going Quantum is the reversal of this: the coming home to ourselves, to Source, to Truth, to Unity Consciousness, and to healing the delusions that have been ripping humanity apart for centuries. It’s a return to Oneness. To belong (being long – not minor) and no longer be out on the edge alone. When you are long (become long), you become All of IT. You are never separated again – because you never are. You cannot NOT be it when you ARE it.

When you BE it, then it COMES—everything that will durably gratify your soul. This is what ‘become’ means.

It is all you. It is God / Source / Creation. It is the Oneness. It’s all the same thing.

That’s what ‘Going Quantum’ creates – it’s coming home to Who You Are.

The Inner-standing of Universal Truth

Unity Consciousness knows, “If I honor my soul truth, then I honor the entire Field in honorable and loving ways.”

This is why NO LONGER enables abuse; healing yourself beyond it is the most loving thing you can ever do for humanity and this planet.

As Neale Donald Walsch famously said, “To enable another to abuse you is an act of abuse in itself.” Yes, as children, we were powerless to accept anything other than abuse, but as developing adults Going Quantum, we aren’t.

In separation consciousness, we make choices that keep us powerless before returning to Quantum Law. These choices do not come from your inner connection to Source. They are controlled by the wishes of people outside of you, whom you were trained to believe are your authority.

Your GPS (God Protection System) – your inner intuition – knows this. It screams “No!” Every time you deny yourself, Source, and the Higher Mind, you pay a terrible price by going against your intuition and not taking time to thoroughly check things. We know, but we don’t want to know. We don’t want to experience friction, ridicule, attacks, and defamation – all narcissistically engineered to make us comply. If you are NOT your SELF, you are controllable, hackable, and can be weaponized for someone else’s benefit.

Strong words, I know – but I must tell you the TRUTH to awaken you from the narcissistic abuse programming that you are in!

We make excuses and tell ourselves stories to make our intuitive self-denial acceptable. But it never is—it rips at the very fabric of your Soul and Source connection, making you sick. Acquiescing to false selves and objects doesn’t grant us health, sanity, safety, and power; it takes us further away from them.

Only Source Self interconnectedness grants the durable ‘arrival’ of joy, love, prosperity, and other Universal Blessings.

Going Quantum Equals Personal Freedom

Your inner evolution of Going Quantum is what grants your outer revolution of freedom.

What does personal freedom mean? Recognizing you were born with limitless inner freedom to be yourself and powerfully create the truth of your Source / Soul Self – living meaningfully and purposefully to make a difference to The All and experience what your true Soul Self desires.

Being yourself requires being free from guilt, shame, pain, and attachment to what other people think of you. It means you no longer hand away your power and enable abuse because of feeling empty, needy, obligated, manipulated, or trapped.

Going along with programmed narratives to be ‘liked’ is a big pitfall, especially when you are disconnected from your inner wisdom and not looking deeper for your truth. Going Quantum means the WHOLESOME truth inside you is the truth you follow. It MAKES SENSE and resonates deeply in your being – rather than just accepting what you are told. This allows you to carve out a sane, healthy, happy, loving life regardless of what anyone else is or isn’t doing or saying.

You don’t need to participate, manifest, and be a part of mass psychosis and suffering when guided from a much deeper, wider, more powerful place within.

Going Quantum is NOT about ‘learning’ how to be expansive and connected to God / Source. You already ARE organically connected to God / Source and ARE Higher Consciousness and Infinite Unlimited Expansion. You are made of the same stuff as The Universe and Infinite Universes.

The problem is being chopped off from knowing this. Being infected with separation consciousness makes you ‘small.’ Yet your Inner Being is urging you to come home and reconnect by trying to shed ‘what hurts’ to get there.

This is the screaming inner wounds of lies, falsities, and shadows that are not Who You Are. Hence, they ‘react’ inside your emotional somatic self. They hurt because they are NOT you, and so cannot sit inside you comfortably and wholesomely.

In separation consciousness, you have been trained to stay ‘separated’ by ignoring those painful feelings, switching them off, numbing them out, projecting them onto others, stuffing them down, faking them away, or trying to blame and shame yourself out of them. Anything BUT going to them and transforming them.

So why not just let them go? Why not go free from them? Why not release them up to God / Source for recycling? Purge them, detox from them, go empty, clean, and clear from them?

Intuitively, it is astounding how we all KNOW we have to do this!

I can’t tell how many people have said, “I need to let go! And asked, “Mel, how can I LET GO of these feelings?”

Over the years, I have always given people the same answer: “Use what I did, Quanta Freedom Healing™. It works!” But of course, these are just words to them until they start doing this and experience what I am talking about.

If we don’t let go, then we can’t be free. We can’t remember if we are still operating as small selves clogged with toxic trauma, lies, and false programming.

This is where we need more than just letting go. Why not bring in the Light of the higher mind to replace the traumas? Why would we even think of that in separation consciousness when we have been taught to be separated from higher consciousness and that we are not worthy of it?

When the truth is, it is IMPOSSIBLE to be unworthy of ourselves!

To re-member is to come back together to the Truth of ourselves as a God / Source / Soul Being.

Then False Selves are powerless against you; not being congruent with integrity means the force of Truth cracks them open. Once the shadows of deceit are flushed to the surface, false selves can no longer hide in dark veils of deception, taking you in due to your disowning and woundedness. Vampires hiss, become powerless, and retreat when under a Bright Light.

Plus, being filled with that means you are backed up and protected by The Oneness, The Divine Force of Life.

Leaving you to BE that Light.

How Do You Activate Your Quantum Self?

You recognise that you are much greater than just a flesh-suit banging around trying to survive. You are made in the image and likeness of God / Source yourself, meaning you have capacity beyond your wildest dreams.

How I went, Quantum, was simple, and I had no idea it would happen at the time. I just LET GO of what was hurting inside me with Quanta Freedom Healing™ – The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) modules. I shed those parts of me in separation consciousnesses – fear, pain, disease, scarcity thinking, and more. Every part of me that felt small, powerless, victimized, heartbroken, abandoned, afraid, and confused or suffered any other negative emotion.

When I first channeled Quanta Freedom Healing™, I was ‘told’ how to do this and to fill the space where the trauma had been with God / Source Light. I had no idea that this was going to be as impactful as it was. I initially thought bringing in the Light—to the space left by releasing the trauma—would be ‘healing’ and ‘soothing.’ I had NO idea it would activate my Source /Soul self to come online.

I didn’t even know I was One with the Higher Infinite Mind.

Clearly, I have no regrets about this! You could not give me trillions of dollars to go back to living life the Old Way, even before the abuse. If it had not been for narcissistic abuse, I would have kept trying to “Law of Attraction” in my life instead of shifting out fear and bringing in the re-membering of Who I Am.

And help others activate their Source / Soul / True Self as well.

Conclusion

There you go, the meaning of Quantum and Going Quantum.

I hope I’ve explained how powerful this is as a direct path to elevate you up and out of narcissistic abuse and also make you impervious to it in the future.

For all of us, ‘Going Quantum’ is not spectacular – it’s merely and magnificently natural. We are all coded to be released organically into this. It allows us to live in heaven rather than hell, as we were always supposed to be. It is the shift from being sick and tired into being expanded and well.

It’s the place where the pain stops, and real life begins.

It’s yours and my birthright.

Let me know in the comments if this article made sense to you. Can you feel the truth of this resonating inside yourself cellularly?

Do you have any further questions about this? What has been your experience with ‘Going Quantum’?

Are you ready to go home to you? If so, I’d love to help you. You can do so by clicking this link.

I look forward to answering your comments and questions below.

How do you risk reopening your heart after being so soul-betrayed by someone you loved and trusted?

Humans are built to connect, which carries the risk of being hurt again. So instead, we may choose to remain alone – because at least it is ‘safe.’

In today’s Thriver TV episode, I explain how we can be free of fear and find beautiful people with whom to share our lives.

Please watch or read to the end, as I’d also love for you to join me in my upcoming Quantum Dating Bootcamp. Even if you feel like dating is a distant dream, this boot camp is all about partnering your own soul so that you can have successful, healthy relationships in all areas of your life. And if you are ready to put yourself out there, you will learn my fearless, empowered dating process so that you can date with confidence!

Video Transcript

Welcome, Dear Thriver, to TTV. Today, I want to talk about the relationship conundrum we can have after narcissistic abuse.

Not just intimate partner relationships – all relationships.

Do you withdraw from life because you have been so betrayed and traumatized? Or do you try to keep connecting with humans and take the risk of being abused again?

Or is there a third option?

Before we explore these subjects, if you have not yet subscribed to my YouTube channel, please do so. And please remember to share my work with others who need to know it is not just possible to survive narcissistic abuse. You truly can thrive after it.

Okay, let’s dive in.

Shattered Beliefs About Humanity After Abuse

Whoever has narcissistically abused you, your belief in the good of humanity is severely compromised. It’s soul-shattering to realize that people can act so loving, caring, and kind – or should behave in this way in the case of a family member – but are actually sinister: capable of lying straight to your face, exploiting you for their own agenda, treating you like a mere object to mine, and then discarding you like yesterday’s trash when you are no longer needed.

This was not just some mere person to you – it was someone you loved. This person was significant – a lover, spouse, family member, friend, even your own child.

This is no simple “Okay, we disagreed, and I just have to get over it.” It is much more like a soul violation, rocking the very foundation of your existence.

After this, you may choose to spend a great deal of time alone. Maybe you can barely get out of bed, let alone face other people. You may know you must retreat because you can’t try to be normal around people. You feel depressed and lifeless. You can feel misunderstood and shameful because other people tell you to “just get over it” and are stunned that you can’t.

At first, your alone time may be because you can’t do much else. For me, like so many of us, that was the case.

Before knowing how to self-partner and heal, I frantically researched narcissists, smoked lots, drank excessive coffee, shared my war stories in abuse forums, and, of course, obsessed constantly.

I wasn’t healing, and I wasn’t getting better.

Much of my obsession was that he seemed happy and was having a fabulous time – dating younger women, buying flashy cars, and living in the house I had bought.

On the other hand, I was renting, broke, and could barely face anything or anyone.

I surmised, like many of us do, that I should try to meet someone else to take the pain away – because that would constitute “getting on with my life.” Society had me believing that this was the solution, so I tried to date. I either met clearly awful people (terrifying me even further), people who made me feel like I missed him even more, or friendly people who liked me – who I hurt because there was no way I was in any position to commit to anyone.

My heart goes out to you if you are either in that place of feeling devastatingly alone or are trying to get back out in life to get better but keep getting traumatized.

Thank goodness, there is another way! Let’s investigate what this looks like.

Healthy Aloneness

I am so grateful I found a way to heal that worked—it was self-partnering and turning inward to heal for real.

This was the most memorable time of my life, coming home to me in the most loving, self-devoted way I ever had. I knew I had to. I knew my picker for choosing other people was broken. I knew I did not trust myself, and I wanted to be at peace with myself, trust my intuition, and learn how to feel safe in the world.

I also wanted to know how to be happy in my body, life, and planet without needing something outside of me to feel whole. I wanted to break free from the pain and from this matrix that we think is normal but which certainly isn’t natural. Surely there had to be a better way to feel durably ‘whole’?

At first, before understanding this Quantum journey, I had always spent my life trying to avoid me: the true me – the inner me. Things like excessive compulsive ‘all or nothing’ behavior – workaholism, addictions, and, of course, trying to make the wrong people love me – because I had never learned how to be present with, partner, and love myself.

Channeling, formulating the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (affectionately known as NARP), and following those healings was what allowed me to turn inwards, love the journey, and enjoy the rewards.

If you are alone right now, a good question may be, “Am I purposely healing through this, or am I hoping to just get through it?”

Trying to ‘just get through it’ is usual. I see this a lot, and I did it myself initially – but it takes years if it happens. It isn’t a path of healing because, sadly, time does not heal narcissistic abuse any more than staying in the self-tormenting obsessions does.

I liken this time of healthy aloneness to the metaphor of a bird with broken wings entering the bird’s hospital. The bird can’t fly properly, is in pain, and is susceptible to predators. There is a need to pull out of life, go into the bird hospital, and mend these wings so that the bird can re-emerge powerfully and safely, not just to fly but to soar.

I fully committed to that for myself, and my life is soaring in a way that could not have happened if I hadn’t gone into that bird hospital. I wouldn’t be able to ‘be’ my relationships with myself, life, and others, so I couldn’t manifest healthy relationships or identify, accept, or maintain them.

Plus, I adored being in the bird hospital! It’s where we find the relationship we have wanted all our lives and the joy and love of being integrated with ourselves and our own higher power.

That is real love – from where all other real love can emanate.

I’m sharing this with you so that I can inspire you. I know many of you Thrivers are living this life too now, and many more Thrivers-to-be will too – it’s how we should live. No matter what trauma you are still experiencing, this genuine relationship is waiting for you if you choose to move toward it.

From Loneliness To Healthy Connections

As most of us know, narcissists exist in any walk of life. They could be bosses, friends, neighbors – anyone at all. It is certainly not just about love relationships. Also, you may have pulled back away from your family to heal. How do you begin reconnecting back to life safely and healthily?

This may seem like a HUGE jump and just impossible – yet it is.

Let me take you through a rundown of what that can look like.

It looks like taking your healing, development, and focus further to be YOU safely – no matter what other people are or aren’t doing – to create healthy relationships with people who can be healthy for you.

It’s no longer being needy enough to make excuses for people who aren’t healthy. Instead, you identify them easily, you know you are worth more than whatever they are offering, and so you do not select them to be in your relationship circle.

But how do we not get tricked?

By coming home to self.

This is all about knowing how to make choices that are a “yes” to your chosen life and “no” to people who aren’t. It’s about knowing how to align with your values, trusting your intuition, showing up truthfully without fear, ascertaining people over time, and laying great healthy boundaries that narcissists can’t fake their way past. And I promise you, they won’t even bother trying because narcissists are opportunistic and target people who are more accessible to dupe and who don’t have boundaries.

You may say, “Melanie, that is too simple!”

It really is crazy how we are not taught the simple things! In fact, we haven’t been taught these interpersonal skills at all, and because we didn’t know them, our children don’t know them, just like our parents didn’t know them… and so on and so on.

One thing is for certain: if we don’t know how to ‘be’, ‘set up’ and ‘do’ healthy relationships, then we don’t have them. People like you and I, especially after what we have been through, don’t fluke them. They don’t drop in our laps – and most of us wouldn’t know what a healthy relationship looked like even if it did show up!

Developing ourselves Quantumly – meaning from the inside out – in ways that create healthy relationships means that after narcissistic abuse, we don’t have to settle for either being lonely or taking the risk of future abuse.

Learning and applying this stuff changed my life beyond description. I went from feeling terrorized and traumatized to being able to ascertain people at all levels of my life. Then, every part of my interpersonal relationships shifted from bad people to good people, including an intimate love partner.

This wasn’t luck. It was because I had changed.

In Conclusion

I want to give you hope that Quantum Healing and alignment work. What is wonderful about it is that it’s inspirational! It’s exciting and expansive, fascinating, and you start seeing results very quickly. It brings joy, confidence, a deeper trust, and greater love for yourself.

I can help you experience this, too.

If you want to connect to humans in a healthy way, I‘d love to help you in my upcoming Dating Bootcamp global online training group.

We get together live twice a week for six weeks.

Don’t let the name Dating Bootcamp mislead you! This 6-week course is about you mating your own soul. It is training after abuse to help you ‘inner-stand’ (so much more powerful than ‘understanding’) all the following:

• How to know and stand in your values and truth
• How to positively identify someone’s character and understand what level of relationship they are capable of
• How to manifest A-grade relationships in every area of your life
• How to explore relationships safely without ever putting yourself at risk
• How can relationships be ended easily and call in higher vibrational ones without fear and feelings of loss?

These skills will help you connect to yourself, your life, and other humans again after abuse in confident, gracious, empowered, and spiritually intelligent ways.

And if you are ready to meet your intimate other during this 6-week journey. In that case, we will set you up for high-level soul mate dating and know how to call in that unique special someone who is the lid for your pot – that ONE person who, at a higher vibrational level, is seeking you as much as you are seeking them.

No matter what level of relationship interaction you wish to heal, your relationship capacity will skyrocket, and you will get back into life and whichever relationships you are ready to create in safe, healthy, and fulfilling ways.

Also, with the Bootcamp Membership, I have an early bird FREE bonus event! This powerful, limited-number Quanta Freedom Healing Soul Mate Activation Ceremony takes place on April 9th.

It is designed to open you up cellularly and Quantumly to recognize, create, and maintain 5th Dimensional Higher Vibrational relationships—meaning reuniting with your Soul Tribe.

Please know that if you can’t get to any sessions live, you will receive all of your recordings for life as a Dating Bootcamp member.

You can find out all about the Quantum Dating Bootcamp by clicking here.

I hope today has granted you the understanding that you don’t have to be alone or live in fear of people. Instead, I hope that you are feeling in your soul that you can call in beautiful people to share life with.

I assure you this is true for you from my heart to yours.

Until next time, keep smiling, keep healing and keep Thriving – because there is nothing else to do.